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It had been three weeks since that night I'd discovered the truth. Since then life had somehow gotten easier and yet harder at the same time. I know had the daunting task of keeping a huge secret, but at the same time had gained new friends and allies. Which made school surprisingly easier. Theo and I had become extremely close,  while Roman and I were still in some confusing loop of mixed emotions. While at school I now had somewhere to sit lunch, and on occasion someone to sit next to in class. 




As the lunch bell rang the entirety of my history class scurried out the door wanting nothing more to escape the dull tone of Miss McCarthy's lessons on women's rights. While most of the class sat daydreaming I had actually been paying attention and interested in the idea of women empowerment. Taking charge.


Waiting for the wave of students to swarm out of the classroom door I slowly followed behind, not wanting to get sucked into the whirlwind and bounced around like a pinball machine. By the time I had made it to my locker, most the of hallways were pretty much cleared, most of the students heading to the cafeteria, gym or outside for their lunch. Stopping at my locker a familiar voice travelled through the hallways.


"Can you just give it back please?"  Grayson soft-voiced questioned.


Closing my locker  I followed the sound, sure enough at the end of the hallways stood Grayson his lanky figure cornered to a wall, while senior boys crowded him,  I could see his pencil case gripped in one of there hands as they played keep away from him.


"Who the hell still likes dinosaurs, are you a toddler? or just a fucking retard?" One of them questioned.


"I...I..." Grayson questioned, his head dipping down as he avoided eye contact.


"You.. you. you want moron" Another chuckled.



Grayson flinched at his taunting tone, pulling into himself his eyes darting around the floor.  Concern and worry filled me, my eyes darting down the hallways looking for someone, anyone to help. There was no one, except me. I stood there, watching as they teased and taunted him.   I stirred in my spot, I had to something... I couldn't let im suffer like that...



I wasn't that girl, I wasn't the hero I didn't go running into action to save the day. I was usually the one backed into a corner, terrified.  Searching the hallway once more I finally brought myself back to look at Grayson still cowering at the older boys taunts.


My hands balled into fists as my sides as I inhaled a deep breath. I had to do this. For Grayson, he'd do it for me. Or at the very least be quick enough to find someone else before it got to bad. With my head up I puffed up my chest doing my best to act tough and look taller then I was as I stormed towards the boys.


  Forcing myself between the boys a Grayson  I didn't give them a chance to speak as I ripped the pencil case from his hand.  Without much thought I shoved Grayson's pencil case back into his chest, a little harsher then I had meant before turning back to face the boys crossing my arms over my chest.


Standing face to face I now recognized the middle boy and main instigator as Bohdi Adams the school soccer teams center forward. I hadn't really spent much time with or around him, but he had the reputation of being a jerk.


"Aw look at you the itty bitty weirdo sticking up for the sasquatch, what are you going to do princess?" Bodhi teased lacing his fingers through my hair.


"Don't touch me" I growled attempting to act tough, a loud chuckle escaped his lips.



"You gonna cry sweetheart"  he pouted, twirling my hair in his hands.



I could feel my lip quivering, a jolt of fear running through me,  Bohdi cold blue eyes shot through my defences like thousands of ice daggers, shredding what bravery I had.  Bodhi leaned in closer and as he did I finally pulled away, a sharp pain shot through my head as my hair still wrapped in Bodhi's hand was yanked. I flinched I kept my head down.



"You really are pathetic. you and Lurch really do make a good couple, a couple of retards that is" Bodhi ridiculed,


"You have half a second to let her go before I cut your fucking hand off" Caleb voice hissed full of Venom, followed by snapping sound.


"Easy Caleb, cmon man we were just joking around" Bodhi voice was stifled, his confidence drained completely.



As Calebs fingers released my locks, I slowly looked back up only somewhat shocked to see Bohdi goonies had vanished and Caleb's switchblade was centimetres from Bohdis cheek. one wrong move and his pretty-boy face would of be marked for life.


"Gray, make yourself useful and walk Nova to the cafeteria. I'm sure Jude is waiting for both of you." Caleb directed his eyes only briefly looking at his brother before returning to Bodhi.

 "I"ll deal with this son of a bitch" he added, a dangerous haze glazing over his eyes as they focused back on Bodhi.


Grayson large hands covered with colourful bandaids gently gripped my arm carefully moving me back before pulling me away from the growing situation between Bohdi and Caleb. Grayson kept me close as we both scurried down the hall without proverbial tails between our legs. Sometimes size really didn't matter, anyone could be a chicken shit.



The two of us silently made our way down the hallway,  I could tell by the lack of conversation Grayson was ashamed of needing his older brother to protect him all the time.  I could same  I blamed him, as shame washed over me as well. Stopping short of the cafeteria I pulled away from Grayson finally catching his attention.


"I uhm.. I gotta go to the ladies' room. I'm not feeling the greatest  I'll catch up with you and Jude later okay?" I more told then requested.


"Do you need anything? I'll get you some jello if you want?" Grayson suggested a soft smile forming on his lips.


"No, it's more so girl troubles then..." I started to explain.


"Right, got it, say no more"  Grayson was thankfully quick to interrupt the growing awkwardness.



With a partial smile and nod, I scampered off towards the girl room as he headed for the cafeteria to meet Jude. Entering the bathroom I was quick to check all the stall before finally locking the main door. Walking over to the mirror I took in a deep breath letting all the built-up emotions finally hit me.


Dropping my head I could feel the warm rivers of salt water running down my cheeks. Through blurred vision, I could see my knuckles turning as white as the sink edges they gripped. Whimpering my body vibrated as I fell to my knees.  


How could I be so weak.. I  couldn't even protect my friend, let alone myself. Bodhi was right I was just a pathetic, weak little girl. I couldn't stand up for myself. I never could not with him, not with my father. No one. I was just a weak little princess who needed saving. I wasn't strong and independent like Xan, I couldn't take care of myself, or speak my mind. I was like my mother, like my sister, stuck in the cycle of being pray. 



Pulling my knees to my chest I curled in a ball under the bathroom sink. I didn't care about how dirty it was, it was where I belonged. On the floor like a doormat. Burying my head into my knees I let the tears flow freely letting my weakness take over.


I didn't know how long I was in there, the bell to end lunch had rung what seemed forever ago, but still, I sat there numb. finally, I forced myself up. Looking in the mirror my eyes red and puffy I knew I looked ridiculous.  Picking up my backpack I rested it on the edge of the sink digging inside for some kind of napkin.


Slipping off the edge of the sink my bad hit the floor with a thud it's contents spewing out on the cold tile floor. Groaning I let out a shaky sigh before crouching down. Sweeping my hands over my school supplies and papers I forced them back inside my bag. As I crouched, head down my dark umber locks fell into view and through them a spark of inspiration. 


My hands clenched the pair of scissors they hovered over as I forced myself back to my feet. I stared down the girl looking back at me. All the anger, self resentment and pain twisting and turning festering inside me. Raising up the scissors into view my eyes lingered on the sharp blades before back at my reflection.


"He always liked it long."




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