It was a short ride to Lean City. At the gate of the city stood a plump blonde above a raised podium. When she saw them, she opened her mouth wide and started to sing, "HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEE..."

Simon raised a brow. "Do you do this for everybody?"

Adele shrugged. "I needed a summer job anyway."

"Okay..." Daniel continued to drive the vehicle forward, and her voice broke out in an encore: "NEVER MIND ILL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOUUUU..."

"So where are the directions to the wizard anyway?" Pansy asked agog, head out the window.

"I hope dat he'z arownd a VS shorp. Or maibe Gucci. Or maibe-"

"I'll check up directions on Google Maps," Khaled interrupted Kylie, who harrumphed in her seat.

"I'm not even going to question that..."

"Okay okay, y'all! I got it! Lemme turn on the GPS."

"Turn right 56 meters," the automated voice started to dictate.

Ten minutes into their ride, Pansy hollered. "YO ISN'T THAT THE DUDE THAT LEFT ONE DIRECTION?!"

Everyone swiveled to see, well except Daniel, since his cutie pie face is too smart for that shît.

"Zayn Malik," Simon said in a low voice. "I judged them on the X-Factor. He used to be so bright; so eager. Just look at him now..."

"Looks like a occult member," Khaled mused.

"But we all know we'd still fuck him if we had the chance," said Pansy.

A beat passed, then everybody nodded enthusiastically. "And Zac Efron..."

They continued to list out fuckable celebrities for the rest of the journey until they arrived at the Wizard's palace. Or whatever wizards live in idk.

•••

but yo on a serious note zayn Malik is so beautiful like I cant

DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO HIS EYES, OR HE WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL