"Play what? Scrabble? monopoly? I loooove games, nigga. Wait lemme open up my snapchat and update on all my peeps-"

Dj Khaled's voice was cut off abruptly. Donald Trump had fired him a cootie bomb from his mouth, that severely throttled the obese music maker slash life motivational mentor.

"LION!" Screamed they.

"🙀!" I'm sure we all already know who that came from.

Khaled wheezed, clutching his cholesterol wrapped heart. "T-tell my w-wife and ki-kids that I love 'em."

"You ain't gotta wife or kid, moron!" Simon uppercutted him.

"BUT AT LEAST I'VE GOT BROADS IN ATLANTA!"

"NO YOU DON'T, YOU BLOODY WANKER; THAT'S DESIIGNER!"

"SMH THEY GET MAD WHEN YOU HAVE JOY SMH! THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!!!" Exclaimed Khaled, before closing his eyes. As he lay down, his stomach protruded like the Mount Everest.  It was a very serene view...

A moment of silence for our dear fr-

"BRUH!!!" Exclaimed Kanye as he charged toward Pansy.

"BLOODY HELL YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME," Simon shouted in his Brit lilt before kicking the little brat away. "I'LL HIT YOU SO FAR AWAY YOUR NAME WILL TURN TO SOUTH."

Kanye shapeshifted again, crawling and sobbing.

"See, I told you to turn into something more menacing!" Donald scolded.

"Bruh," Kanye managed to produce through streams of tears.

Donald shook his head and tutted. "Guess I'm gonna have to do this myself then."

"😨⁉️," said Kylie.

Donald 'cachinnated'. "How do you manage to get more and more pathetic every time I see you? Btw lovin' the plastic surgery, girl! O my gah, I'm so jel!"

"😡😊." Kylie was confused on whether to be offended or pleased. Before she could leaf through her brain to follow up with another emoji that would once again display her thoughts with intense clarity (note the sarcasm), Donald started to mumble a devilish incantation.

"What the fuck is happening, fam?" Pansy jumped into Simon's arms.

Simon threw him away in hulk-esque fashion.

"Fuck if I know." He replied.

Just then, the ground split open, and out of it came-

"TAYLOR SWIFT?!"

"Nice to meet you; where you been?" She replied. She held a saber in the shape of a large pen; her super weapon: writing deathly songs to attack your soul and murder you.

"👸😒😒," said Kylie.

"Oh there you are, Kylie. Don't be so bitter, now, just because I didn't let you join my girl squad."

"😡." Kylie was livid.

"She wanted to be in yo squad?" Queried Pansy.

"Wants," Taylor corrected, counting through her jar of bloodied hearts, "she even sent an email application and everything; so sad."

Kylie 'harrumphed'.

"BRUH!" Kanye yelled at Taylor.

"Shut the fuck up, Kanye, you didn't make me famous. I haven't still forgotten about what happened in 2009 and if you gonna push any more buttons there will be consequences. Satan is really lonely and needs more companions." She waved her saber in his face.

Kanye choked back a tear.

"How are you even like this? You look so innocent." Simon rubbed his man nipples in confusion.

Taylor 'snickered'. "Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream."

She thrust her saber into the ground, and it cracked open once more. "I'll make it easy for you; IT'S GONNA GO DOWN IN FLAMES! FOREVER! MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHH."

Was this the end for our dear friends? Well we'll have to find out later, for the narrator's mother has summoned her.

•••