"Hold on, hold on to me. 'Cause I'm a little unsteady, a little unsteady."

~X Ambassadors

I laid in bed, staring at my ceiling, as the sound of Ty puking his guts out echoed through the empty house.

Once I had finally fought against the half of me that believed he deserved to feel it, I walked out of the room and jogged down the steps to grab a few Advil from the cupboard.

I stopped in the middle of the hall when I saw Tessie holding her stuffed bear against her chest, staring at the bathroom door with tear filled eyes.

"Is Daddy sick?" She whispered, looking up at me.

"Yeah, sweetie." I answered, crouching down in front of her.

"I need you to go in the living room and watch cartoons with Sienna for a while, okay? I'm going to check on Daddy." She nodded and walked by me, her head bowed as if she were trying her best not to cry.

I rapped gently at the door first, afraid to startle Ty. When he didn't answer, I turned the knob and slipped into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me before Tessie could peak in.

He had his face against the cold toilet seat, his shaggy dark hair covering his pale face.

"Ty." I whispered, kneeling down. He groaned in response, not coming even a little close to lifting his head up.

"I have an Advil here. It should help." I touched his arm, tugging it from his forehead. He looked like utter crap. His lips were chapped and just as pale as his skin, his bloodshot eyes had dark circles around them.

"Here." I handed him the Advil and water, swallowing the lump that had begun to form in my throat at the sight of him.

He hesitantly took them from me and tossed them in his mouth, then washed them down with water. He flushed the toilet after a second, his lips pulling back in disgust as he lifted his head back up to look at me.

"Tessie asked if you were sick." I said, making sure he could hear the anger in my voice.

"What? What'd you tell her?" I could see the worry in his eyes, the worry that I was going to tell his four year old daughter about his late night.

"I told her that you were." I replied, "I hope there isn't a next time, Ty, but if there is, I'm not hiding anything from her." I grabbed his tooth brush and paste behind me before handing them over, grimacing.

"There. . . there won't be." He finished brushing his teeth before he went on, "I just. . . never mind, Alyssa. You already have enough shit going on, you don't need to hear my problems too." I moved closer to him, grabbing his hand and digging my nails into it.

"You promised me that you wouldn't leave, that you would stay here with me. Tyler, I'm here for you, too. I can try to help you, even if just getting it off your chest is what you want. I'm here." He nodded, wincing a little at my use of his full name.

He stayed quiet for a few minutes, his eyes shut so I couldn't see any sort of emotion in them.

"They found Maggie's body in some hotel last night." He breathed out, his words catching, "They said she was beaten and raped. She's dead." I felt my eyes widen as his words slowly sunk in, but I didn't say anything.

"I know I shouldn't care, I know that when she was with me, most of the time it was part of her job. But I. . . Tessie wouldn't be here now if it weren't for her. I was the only person on her contact list that they could get a hold of." I kept my mouth shut as I edged closer to him, before pushing his legs a little further apart so I could sit between them, my head resting against his chest.

I don't know how long we sat there, on the bathroom floor, with Ty's arms around me. He didn't say a word, and for once, I knew that it was better to keep my mouth shut. All he needed right now was someone to hold on too, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let go.

*

We didn't leave the house at all. We sat on the couch with Tessie most of the day, binge watching all of my favorite Disney movies, and the occasional action movie to keep Ty interested.

Once Tessie had fallen asleep and Sienna left, I stuck in 50 First Dates with Jennifer Aniston, hoping to watch it without Ty complaining like Jason or my ex had over it.

"You can sit over here, you know." Ty whispered, lifting Tessie up and laying her in the space between him and the couch. I stared at the empty spot beside him on the red velvet couch, trying to come up with some excuse on why I couldn't.

"I don't want you to feel-"

"It's fine, Ally. It's freezing and your face is almost as red as the Santa hat on your mantel." I smiled a little, making my way back over to the couch.

"I was supposed to go out today. To that shop with the ceramic angels. But the roads were blanketed in snow and it just didn't seem logical." I knew I was blabbering on, but I didn't want to just curl up beside Ty without saying anything. It would be. . . strange.

"I'm sure Steph understands. She wouldn't want you to risk getting hurt." Ty responded, running his fingers through Tessie's hair as he stared down at her.

"She would hate it when I'd sit there and tell her about my trips to the Ski Lodge, how I almost always ended up running into something. She hated pain, and I can't blame her for it." Ty looked over at me, frowning.

"Can I tell you something?" I nodded, lifting my own head up from his leg.

"I was there the night before Steph died, at the hospital. She had sent Sienna to come get me." My whole body stiffened at the words that left his mouth slowly, almost hesitantly. He hadn't said a word about ever actually seeing Steph in the hospital, so the words leaving his mouth were surprising.

"She talked about her sister the entire time. How beautiful she was, how smart. How much she loved to lay outside and count the stars until her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep. She told me about the sister that believed she lost everything, even when she deserved to have it all." I felt my lips twitch, "She told me to find this sister and protect her because she was too precious and beautiful for this world. Alyssa, Steph told me to find you before you even got a hold of that list." I stared at Ty blankly, trying to make sense of what he said.

"Why didn't you come find me then?" I mumbled, but I wanted to ask the more important question.

Why didn't you tell me this when we met?

"I thought you were just another rich bitch, if you want me to be honest. I thought you'd turn your face in disgust at the sight of me like everyone else, rich or poor. It would be even worse. . . it would be even worse because you were her sister." I looked down at my hands, huffing out a shaky sigh.

"I hate money, I hate the thought of it. It's nothing but filthy lies inside of bills. Everyone thinks money can buy them the world, but money can't buy happiness, it can't buy love." I whispered, reaching for the remote on the table. Ty caught my wrist, earning a confused look out of me.

He was staring at me, a look I couldn't quite read in his eyes as he shut his eyes slowly.

"That's how I knew you were different, Ally. You love to love, you just want to me loved. That's all there is to it."

*

When I woke up screaming again in the middle of the night, Ty didn't even ask for permission to lay in bed with me. He immediately pulled me against his chest without saying a word as I sobbed against his chest, soaking his shirt.

"I'm sorry." I whispered once I had regained my composure. He shook his head, turning the light on so I could see him.

His blue eyes were filled with worry, his hand falling against my cheek.

"Don't apologize." He whispered. I shut my eyes, sucking in a deep breath, that I wouldn't get a chance to release back out of my mouth.

Ty's lips brushed against mine for a fraction of a second, almost as if he were scared of what would happen next. My mind must have recognized the sign, because I pushed myself forward, deepening the kiss.

I knew better then to do this right now. We were both hurt, messed up, still grieving. I knew that all this meant was that we needed each other, relationship or not.

"Alyssa." Ty whispered, pulling away and touching my face again, "Why are you crying?" I shook my head, reaching up to wipe my wet cheeks.

"I know I shouldn't have done it, I should have asked or-"

"It's not you, Ty. I just. . . maybe we can wait and see what happens once I'm done with the list. I don't want to not complete it, and I don't want to push you away so I can." He nodded, falling back on to the bed beside me.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Stop apologizing." I responded, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, "I need you, Ty. Just not in that way, not yet."

***AN***

Hope you guys enjoyed!

Let me know what you thought!

~ChasingMadness24