Hi there, memstar3420 . The Shiraz you ordered is finally ready. So without further ado, let's get started!

First impressions

The cover is pretty basic. It has all the required components of a book cover. However, if you wish to attract more readers, perhaps you can consider hiring a designer to help you create a more attention-grabbing cover.

I am more concerned about your summary. Obviously, there are many things you want to tell your readers, but you seem unsure about what to present. As a result, it looks like a bunch of scattered ideas. Keep in mind that the purpose of writing a summary is to give readers the main idea of your book. If this story is about Monika's life, then that's what your summary should focus on. Everything else is irrelevant. My suggestion is to cut out the first half of your summary and just go with the part starting with "meet Monika Singha." Once you have your main points down, then you can begin to think about adding any details that will make your summary more interesting.

Plot development

Monika Singha returns to her home in India for the first time in four years to attend her sister's wedding. As she arrives in her hometown, she begins to reminisce about her harsh and bitter past.

From my understanding of the five chapters, this is a semi-autobiographical novel that's loosely based on your personal experience. Each chapter paints a specific point in Monika's life that shaped her into the woman she is today. Reading through your story, I see some moments that reflect my own life story, along with social issues that many people can relate to. 

That being said, there are a couple of things I'd like to address.

First, there is a severe lack of description in your story. The story takes place in India, a country not everyone is familiar with. Therefore, it is essential to show readers what India is like through Monika's eyes. The fact you have practically no description of the country, the region Monika is from, what her hometown or village looks like, or even a description of her house is unacceptable. It's a shame, really. This could have been your chance to show them a side of India only locals would know, or the India that hasn't been tainted by the media.

Your story is drama-packed, but due to the lack of descriptions, it is difficult to visualize your story. Also, the pace is too rushed, which doesn't give me much time to process what is happening in one chapter before I'm propelled to the next one. While it's fine have your own writing style, make sure to pace yourself, and put more thought into the point of view of your readers.

About Monika

To be honest, I'm not sure what to make of Monika Singha. From being cheated out of her chance of furthering her education to losing her father, one has to wonder how life can be so unfair to some people. However, while I empathize with her hardships, I do not see a purpose in her character. Perhaps it's too early in the story, but all I see is a lost girl whose only way in dealing with life is to cry, try not to cry and eventually fail, and retreat to a private area and cry. I'm not sure if this has to do with the Indian culture, but after reading five chapters about Monika, her tears, and the amount of stress her heart has endured (to the point where I'm surprised she hasn't had a heart attack), she's beginning to come across as annoyingly weak. I'm sure you don't mean to portray her that way, but it has to do with the way you describe her feelings and emotions.

Similar to the plot, description is an issue here. On the one hand, the description of Monika's emotional state is beautifully written. In fact, it's so detailed, that I wondered why you failed to do the same for your setting. However, as lovely as it is, you need to be careful not to over-emphasize on those negative emotions. Granted, if this is just a sob story about a girl whose life is fraught with hardships, then, by all means, keep bashing her heart. If you wish for this character to be an inspiration, someone who rises to the occasion, then you need to balance out the negativity with some positivity and optimism.

Grammar

There are some grammatical and spelling mistakes. You have some run-on sentences that should be rewritten into two sentences. Also, try to avoid using repetitive words in your narratives (e.g. familiar, heart). There are better ways to express your ideas, so this is an opportunity for you to broaden your vocabulary range. Given you have more than 20 chapters, perhaps you can think about taking some time to edit your story and correct those mistakes. 

Final thoughts

I see immense potential in your story. Autobiographical novels such as this can be an inspiration for readers and serve as a reminder that no matter how difficult life is, humanity does have what it takes to persevere and rise above the occasion. If you haven't done it already, I suggest you read some autobiographical novels. It will provide you with some insight on how to better craft your story and build your characters. 

If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me or leave a comment.

Good luck with your story. :)