Hi, CreativeDelinquents ! The Pinot Noir you requested is finally ready. Without further ado, let's get this show on the road.

First Impressions...

I like the dark and grave mood your cover brings out. The white border around your title is, in my opinion, unnecessary. Not only does it take up space on your cover, but it also restricts your options on where you can place your graphic. That might be the reason why the hands are so high up, making the overall appearance seem awkward. Now, I'm not an expert on graphic design, so if you're comfortable with the way your cover looks, then fine. If not, then perhaps you can try to play around with the font style, background colors, and graphics until you find a way to balance everything.

Your summary is informative and... that's about it. Unfortunately, it's not attention-grabbing enough to make your book stand out. It's not easy to write a good summary that can balance between attracting readers without giving too many details about your book. The good thing about your summary is that you already have an outline of what your story is about, so try to see if you can build on that to make it more appealing.

About your story...

The story begins in a café where Mason frequents, told from the view of a female observer by the name of Valerie. The descriptions in the prologue are beautifully written. I can imagine myself sitting in that very café and watching them meet. The only thing I'd critique is the repeated shifts in POV between Mason and Valerie, which caused some confusion.

Flash forward to five years later, where Mason is struggling with suicidal tendencies, engaging in self-harm, and possibly suffering from depression and hallucinations. Making it through the day is almost mission impossible for Mason, as he seems to be haunted by a tragedy that took the lives of four people he once knew. While Mason's pain and internal struggled is poignantly written, the sluggish pace makes it difficult to engage in the story. The slow pace is understandable, given readers need time to understand Mason's world. However, progress on plot development is essential, so make sure to strike a balance between plot and character development.

The first two chapters are practically devoted to Mason's head, which is both good and bad. Good because it gives readers a thorough insight into Mason's life, but bad because plot development is all but abandoned. There are some repetitions in detailing Mason's emotional and psychological state, which might not necessarily be a good thing, as the overdose of negativity can be a turn-off for some readers.

Thankfully, the pace, along with the plot, did pick up in chapter three when Mason runs into Mia, someone from Mason's past. Here, we learn more about the tragedy that may have cause Mason's mental state to deteriorate and triggered his suicidal and self-harm tendencies. The sudden rush in pace might seem overwhelming, but given how slow the story pace was in the previous two chapters, I'm glad things finally picked up.

One final thought about your plot: if I weren't reviewing your book, I would've stopped reading by chapter two. That is how slow and depressing your story has gotten at that point. While I understand the need for readers to get to know Mason, don't neglect your plot. It is okay to start things slow, but you need to pick things up by chapter two.

On to the characters...

Mason is such an incredible character. I've read stories with a similar theme as yours where writers tend to only skim the surface because they want to get on with the plot, but you put in a lot of effort into creating this particular character. What I especially love about Mason is how you went in-depth with his feelings, emotions, struggles and most importantly, his pain. Everything is so raw and hard-hitting that I can feel everything.

However, while you've done a fantastic job getting inside Mason's head, you failed to give him a background. There is hardly anything about his appearance, his age, or his family and friends. As a result, I know Mason, but at the same time, I don't know Mason.

In addition to Mason, there are three other characters presented in the story: Valerie, Mia, and a mysterious unnamed girl (Raven?).

There's not much to tell about Valerie other than the fact that she has brown hair and blue eyes. Her only appearance (so far) is in the prologue, so there's no telling how important her role is in the story. However, I'd give her props for taking the initiative to get to know Mason after watching him for goodness knows how long in the café.

Like Valerie, there's not a lot of information about Mia either. The conversation between her and Mason implied that he might be responsible for her family's death, but I have to say that scene is confusing. I can't tell if she did guilt-trip Mason into attempting suicide, or if it's all in Mason's head. After all, you wouldn't say such horrible things to a person and then ask him 'are you okay' while giving him sympathetic looks. The whole thing feels out of place to me.

Finally, we have the girl who stopped Mason from committing suicide. Again, not much to tell about her, but her sudden appearance foreshadows that Mason's life is about to transform.

About your grammar/spelling...

There are a few things you need to be aware of. First, I found quite a bit of punctuation mistakes in your story. Second, there are some run-on sentences in your story, which sometimes disrupts the flow of your story. Third, be careful with your tenses, as I found some grammatical mistakes. I suggest you find an editor to help you or download an editing app to help you with those mistakes.

One final thought...

Suicide and mental illness are tricky subjects. Given the numerous stereotypes and misconceptions that are floating around in society nowadays, you need to be careful about how you present them in your story. If you haven't done it already, I suggest you speak to psychology professionals and people suffering from depression. If you truly wish to delve into these topics, volunteer for a suicide or crisis prevention hotline. It will provide you with a deeper understanding of what these people go through on a daily basis, as well as an idea of the resources (or lack of) available to help those in need.

If you have any questions about this review, feel free to leave a comment or PM me.

Good luck with your story! :)