Hi there, prntai ! The Pinot Noir you ordered is finally ready. 

To start things off...

Your cover is adequate for a fanfiction. It's not eye-catching, nor does it reflect your story. Given the cover is the first thing readers come across, you may want to put in more effort into creating one that would grab reader's attention.

Unfortunately, there's hardly a summary to comment on. There doesn't seem to be an attempt made on writing one. One thing to consider is whether you just wish to limit your readership to only BTS fans or expand to a broader audience. If it's the latter, you need to come up with a more detailed summary and not just sum it up with a single sentence and a 'not a smut' warning.

Now on to your story...

Set in an unnamed school, 18-year-old Kim Ivy (or if you're from the west, Ivy Kim) meet BTS, a gang of popular idols, on her first day of school. From that point on, her life has been turned upside down.

Basically, this is a typical idol-drama style of fanfiction. Not the most creative, especially if you've seen Asian dramas such as Taiwan's Miss in Kiss or South Korea's Boys Over Flowers, but this type of concept is quite popular, so BTS fans may find it to be a fun read.

Now, the one good thing about having an almost non-existent summary is that I had no expectations when I started reading your story. After all, I don't know what it is about, so I'm basically going in with a blank slate.

Stripped away the BTS hype, I find a few issues with your story. 

One of the major concerns lies in the lack of structure. You may have stirred up some interest in chapter one with the part where Suga told Ivy "you owe me a kiss" bit, but other than that, I'm at a loss as to what you want to present to your readers.

Another point is there's a severe case of white room syndrome, or better known as insufficient setting details, in the chapters I've read. I couldn't quite visualize the setting and the characters because there is nothing for me to go on. Every now and then, there are some descriptions of what Ivy is wearing, or what a few major/minor characters look like, but that's about it.

Based on the eight chapters I've read, I have to say it's hard to engage in your story. The pace feels dragged. The dialogue is choppy, the interaction between characters feels awkward, and any attempts to create tension or chemistry between Ivy and the BTS members feel cringe-worthy. When you're writing a chapter, you need to think about its purpose, and what it signifies in relations to plot development. Otherwise, you're just taking readers on an aimless ride.

About the characters...

The characters in your story are the typical idol-drama characters. The naïve girl with a secret, the spoiled, seemingly cold-hearted male lead, his group of eccentric best friends (one of which happens to be quite kind-hearted to the female main character), the group of girls who may turn out to be either Ivy's friends or enemies. Are they realistic? Maybe, if you're thinking along the lines of an idol drama.

You have a chapter that details each character and their personalities. I skipped it because again, I wanted to read your story without any expectations and bias. That being said, I am a little disappointed with how over-reliant you are with that particular chapter. It seems like you made that chapter just so you won't have to make an effort to describe your characters in your story. There's not much I can comment about character development, except to say perhaps you should consider getting rid of that chapter and be more detailed with the descriptions in your story.

Grammar

Your grammar is a serious concern here. Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, misuse of punctuation marks, horrible sentence structures, presentation-wise, your story does not look organized. There are also several occasions where I found some odd word choices that don't fit with what you're trying to express. I understand that writing in English is a challenge if it isn't your native or primary language, but given you're 10 chapters out, now would be a good time to do some editing. You said you've edited it many times already, but I still find numerous mistakes in your story. I suggest you get an editor to help you or use an editing app (e.g., Grammarly). If you're serious about wanting to make improvements on your story, then you need to take time to correct those mistakes.

Some final thoughts...

As a whole, I think BTS fans will enjoy your story. If you would like to attract non-k-pop fanfic readers, then you definitely have your work cut out for you. In the end, it all comes down to how you look at your stories, and what you hope to gain from your writing.

If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment or send me a PM.

Good luck with your writing! :)