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Denial


Benár approached the bed slowly, watching as one female healer wiped a cloth over Taú's forehead.

He looked horrible, for his hair had been plaited back into one dirty braid, his nose was already bruised from their brawl with the Noldorin warriors and now, the entire left side of his forehead had turned the same colour.

Through the open shirt, Benár could see the bandages that covered his shoulder and midsection, the dried blood stains still upon his skin.

"I can do that," he said quietly to the healer who looked up as if noticing the warrior for the first time.

She smiled placidly and nodded, leaving to attend the other warriors in need.

Benár sat and squeezed out the herb-infused cloth, and then began to clean away the blood from his friend's chest. Once he had finished, he took the captain's hands and washed them too. His movements were slow and thorough, his face set in introspective concentration.

"Ai Taú – here we are again. Shall we ever see peaceful times?" he murmured softly as he worked.


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"What happened?" asked Elrond as he sat and took a long drink from his well-deserved glass of wine.

Glorfindel stood first, giving his lord the overview. However, when he got to the part when the enemy changed course, he faltered and Elrond held up his hand for clarification.

"And why was that?" he asked, his eyes straying to his sons. "Were you not ordered to report to Lorien and guide them back to Glorfindel?" he asked sarcastically.

Elladan made to stand, but Elrohir stayed him with a hand on his forearm, rising himself instead.

"Father, the fault was mine. I acted rashly and headed towards the enemy, expecting Haldir and his men to follow, but it was not to be. As I approached the oncoming hoard, I was able to collect myself and rectify my error, seeking concealment in a nearby bush."

"Go on," said Elrond, his face serious as he stared at his son.

"Elladan had followed me and, as we turned to backtrack, March Warden Haldir and his warriors galloped towards us, thinking I had confronted the enemy single-handedly..."

"He alerted the enemy to your presence..." finished Elrond.

"Yes, Sir," said Elrohir sorrowfully, dropping his eyes, but not before catching Glorfindel's disappointed gaze.

"And Haldir left Arwen alone in the woods?" asked Elrond after a moment, his quiet ire more than obvious to them all.

"Nay," said Glorfindel. "He left warriors with her. His decision was not easy to take, my Lord. He was to choose between the defence of your sons, or your daughter. He could do naught else but divide his forces – I would have done likewise."

Elrond's hard eyes held Glorfindel's gaze for a moment, before finally nodding and turning back to Elrohir.

"How does it end, Elrohir?" he asked softly as he walked around his son.

"We neutralised the enemy and then were alerted to Arwen's distress. We followed, and found four slaughtered orcs and a fifth with his back to us. I killed it – only then did we realise that Captain Taú had been on the verge of being skewered."

"You saved him then," said Elrond.

"Inadvertently, yes – for we could not see him behind the orc."

"So, you are saying that captain Tau defended your sister, slaughtering four before you arrived."

"Yes, my Lord, that is correct," said Glorfindel, for Elrohir suddenly could not speak. Hearing it from his father's mouth had obviously brought it all a little further home for his young lord, and Glorfindel felt a pang of sorrow for the morose elf.

There was only silence as Elrond sat, and drank once more.

"When will it end?" Elrond finally asked, startling them all.

Elrohir's sparkling eyes fell upon his father's. "Until they are all gone; dead, slaughtered and thrice-cursed," he snarled, and there was silence once more.

"And does that include your sister, Elrohir? Your brother, your family – all that you hold dear? Would you sacrifice them in the process of assuaging your own, ill-directed wrath over the fate of your mother?"

Again, the youngest brother could not answer and Elrond turned his back on him.

"Elrohir, you are relieved of duty until further notice. You are dismissed. I have a brave Silvan general to tend to."


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Elrond looked down upon the Silvan who lay atop the sheets in light clothing, his chest bared save for the bandages, still unconscious after the hours they had been back.

He looked better, thought the Lord. He had been cleaned, save for his hair, for the head injury would not allow for that just yet.

He was still deathly pale, and his eyes remained worryingly shut. He looked up as Halú emerged with a bowl of clean water and cloths. The warrior startled, and then nodded as he sat and began his work once more.

Elrond watched the young warrior in fascination as he tended to his captain, nay general, with the cool cloth and the fragrant water. The three Silvans had obviously taken it upon themselves to set up guard duty and care for Taú personally.

"You hold much respect for your general, warrior," said Elrond quietly as he lifted one of Tau's eyelids.

"He has earned it many times over, my Lord," said Halú, equally softly, as he fussed with the thin sheet he had pulled up to Tau's chest.

"He is the best warrior I know, the best elf I know," he said almost to himself, "he is of the Mirkwood but he is the Greenwood," said the warrior intently as he turned to gaze upon the Lord of Imladris, as if willing him to understand the sentiment behind his words.

Elrond thought on the heart-felt words and realised he understood what the young warrior had wanted to convey to him. This injured elf was their hope, it seemed. For Imladris, it was his daughter, his sons, Glorfindel. For Thranduil it seemed his iconic leader was his general, this young, brash Silvan had won the hearts of the wood-elves, and Elrond was struck once more with that strange feeling....

"Taú?" whispered Halú and Elrond's head whipped down to his patient. There had been a flicker of an eyelid, and then the twitch of a hand.

"Halú, leave now, let us tend to him," said Elrond, knowing full well what would follow.

"My Lord ..."

"Please," said Elrond kindly. "We will call you soon enough," he assured. Halú nodded respectfully, and reluctantly left the bedside, as other healers joined Elrond.

"Taú..." called Elrond, patting the warrior's cheek softly.

Moments later, a pitiful groan escaped the Silvan, and one healer placed a hand upon his brow to stop any movement that would aggravate his undoubtedly monumental headache.

"Taú, waken," called Elrond once more, touching his patient here and there in order to stimulate a response.

The blond elf's face screwed up into a grimace of pain and tried to move his head to the side.

"Hold him still," said Elrond, unnecessarily, to his helper.

"Open your eyes, Taú," he said.

But the green eyes remained stubbornly shut, moving rhythmically beneath the lids. Elrond could well imagine the nausea that was plaguing the wood-elf, but awaken he must, despite the unpleasant consequences it would bring...


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"Are you not yet satisfied, Elrohir? You have upset your father once more, frightened your twin to death – once more – and you have defied me..."

"...once more... yes, Glorfindel, I have understood your speech; heard it many times over."

"And are you deaf?" raged Glorfindel, and for a moment Elrohir was frightened. "Or is it that you disagree? You did not upset your grieving father, you did not..."

"No!" shouted Elrohir – "I do not disagree, I simply ... cannot rid myself of this anger," he hissed as he swivelled towards Glorfindel, his eyes swimming. "And no amount of wise words from you or anyone else can change that. I have tried and I have failed – this is what I am," he moaned hopelessly now.

"And I like it not," said Glorfindel emphatically, before turning and walking away from the glaring Noldo, oblivious to the tears of utter frustration that toppled from the trembling grey eyes.


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Elladan leaned against the wall next to the door to the ward, watching discreetly as Halú, Dorán and Benár talked quietly. They had sat themselves around their captain's bed and were now immersed in conversation that Elladan could only partially hear.

"He is a brash fool. He would not last five minutes in the Greenwood. He would either be eaten by a spider, or set upon by our own warriors."

"He is good with a sword," said Halú.

"And what good is that if you disobey your commanding officer's orders?"

"None, I know. He cannot be trusted..."

"He is a fool!" spat Benár.

"Stop."

"Taú?"

"Just ... Benár?"

"Yes, I am here," said the warrior, his voice now quieter, concern colouring his tone.

"Benár – since when did you become so judgmental? Your mouth runs away with your mind..." whispered the captain.

"You do not agree?" said Benár, his face pulled into an expression of puzzlement.

Taú took a steadying breath, for dizziness was beginning to take him once more.

"He acted rashly, aye, but those actions are not random – they do not come naturally to him. There is a reason for it, my friend."

"What do I care for his reasons? He could have caused your death!"

"But he did not – I understand your anger, Benár but not your reasoning..."

"Excuse me, my friends. You should leave for a while," began Elladan as he emerged from his quiet corner. "Your captain needs to rest...."

Benár looked up at him, angry at first, but then his face softened and he nodded silently, turning to leave with a last squeeze to his friend's hand.

Once the three warriors had left, Elladan approached the bed, his eyes fixed upon Taú's paling face.

"Dizzy?"

"A little," replied the captain.

Elladan simply nodded, knowing what he was feeling all too well. And so he sat where Benár had just moments before.

"You are right, you know," he said, as he wetted another cloth and placed it upon the warrior's brow, smiling lightly as the cool liquid elicited a quiet sigh from his patient.

"He does have his reasons. Reasons only few can conceive."

"Why is he so angry that he loses his sense of measure?" asked Taú quietly.

"Our mother. The way she was taken from us..."

"In that he is not alone, Elladan."

"It was so – cruel," said Elladan, turning introspective. "To see the face of evil, see its very essence in the suffering of your mother..." he said, his desperate eyes falling on Taú's half-lidded green irises.

"I know..."

"Do you? No one, Taú, no one has been able to reach him in this. My father, Glorfindel, even myself. It serves no purpose and every day that passes he becomes less responsive, more – uncaring."

"I do know, Elladan. Trust me in this if in nothing else," he said, his words trailing off as his eyes closed in pained fatigue.

Elladan cursed himself as he stood and placed a hand over the Silvan's heated forehead.

"Forgive me," he murmured. "I came to thank you."

"No need..." muttered Taú.

"'Tis not about need but desire. I wish to thank you. Had it not been for you, it could have happened again. You fought valiantly, or so my sister says, albeit you scared her half out of her wits, it seems."

"I am sorry."

"Nay – do not be. I am sorry – for thinking you were inferior, brash, ignorant – wild..."

"'Tis nothing my father does not already think..." whispered Taú, and Elladan actually chuckled.

"You have my respect, and my friendship, should you want it," said Elladan sincerely.

Taú simply smiled fleetingly, before a grimace took over and Elladan sighed as he straightened the sheet, giving the Silvan's arm a final squeeze before leaving him to rest.

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