Chapter 6

Blue

Malakas ang tunog ng pagsabog fireworks pero dinig ko naman ang malakas na kabog sa dibdib ko. Alec was staring at me intently, as if waiting for my response. Wala na ang paglalaro sa mga mata niya.

"Uhm..." Sinubukan kong pakalmahin ang sariling nararamdaman. "Bakit gusto mo ng date?"

"Because I'm interested in having a relationship with you," he said it as a matter of factly.

Tinakpan ko ng pagtawa ang kaba. "Alam kong playboy ka kaya hindi gagana ang linyahan mong 'yan sa 'kin. And besides, your family already rejected me as your match for marriage."

He did not even blink. "I'm not gonna date you for a marriage match."

Now, I felt very offended by what he just said. Marahas akong napasinghap at halos pinandilatan na siya. "Eh, kung gano'n naman pala bakit gusto mo ng isa pang date at relationship with me? Wala ka naman pa lang balak na pakasalan ako!"

His brows twitched na parang may nakakatawa pa sa sinabi ko.  "Why? Do you have any plans in marrying me?"he asked as if challenging me. "Akala ko ba you don't compete with other girls just for a lousy man?"

Para akong napaso sa apoy na ako rin naman ang nagsindi. At sinasabi ko na nga ba,  narinig njya talaga ang sinabi ko kay Kuya Lee kanina.

"Well..." I tried to look anywhere but him. I suddenly felt guilty about what i just said. I could not handle his teasing eyes because admittedly, it did something with my nerves. I paused to clear my throat. "My family is very conservative. Kapag boyfriend, 'yon na dapat ang pakakasalan."

Kung narinig lang ni Cora Chen ang sinabi ko, she'd probably faint in shock.

Alec looked at me intently. Nawala na ang humor sa mga niya. 

"Pakakasal ka sa'kin?" aniya sa seryosong tono.  He slowly licked his lips. He smirked playfully but his eyes remained serious. "Just tell me so and I'll change my family's decision."

Mariin ko na rin siyang tiningnan. He's so tall that he was towering me.  He looked so expensive in his suit. Tindig at hitsura palang, alam mo nang malakas ang kumpiyansa sa sarili dahil may ibubuga nga naman. But as for me, I still stood my ground.

"Babalik na ako sa sasakyan," sabi ko na lang para makaiwas sa usapan. I looked at my very feminine shoes still on his masculine hand. The contrast suddenly made me feel hot and bothered.

"You should really hand me back my shoes," ulit ko.

I heard his deep sigh.  Some minutes later, he finally handed me my shoes. "Ihahatid na kita," he offered.

"Uh no," mabilis na pagtanggi ko sabay abala sa sarili sa pagsusuot ng sapatos. I was not even looking at him.  "If people see us together,  they'll talk."

Tumayo na ako nang maayos at tinanggal ang kanyang coat na nakapatong sa magkabilang balikat. I looked at him again and handed him his coat. He accepted it.

"Thanks for that, "  sabi ko at naglakad na para lagpasan siya.

I never wanted to look back but I was too curious not to.  Nakita ko na nakatayo pa rin siya at hindi gumalaw.  Nasa kamay niya pa rin ang coat na ibinalik ko. He was looking at me with a shadow of smirk on his mouth.

"I'll be seeing you around, Jia Chen!" he called after me.

Umirap lang ako at hindi na siya sinagot pa.

Sa sasakyan na ako naghintay kay Mama. She interrogated me once again about my whereabouts earlier during the fireworks show.  Sinabi kong pagod ako at naidlip na lang sa loob ng sasakyan. She did not believe me but was too tired to prove otherwise.

I had no plans of telling her about my encounter with Alec that night at baka magdelulu pa siya. 

My days went on.  My conversation with Alec lingered on my mind.  Hindi ko alam kung ano talaga ang trip niya. He said he's interested in having a relationship with me. Hindi rin naman ako sigurado kung seryoso ba siya sa pagpapakasal. All I ever thought was that he's a playboy at siguro laro lang ang lahat sa kanya. At ako? Hindi rin naman ako handa sa pagpapakasal.  And he may be right,  nasa isang circle of communty lang kami, the probability of us seeing each other once again is not meek.

I was back to being an obedient daughter. Gustuhin ko man na maging kampante, on the back of my mind,  there was still this nagging feeling that the topic about marriage would resurface once again.

Sinamahan ko si mama na ihatid sa papa sa airport para sa business meeting niya abroad. He wanted to attend it personally as a chairman of a big company. Kasama rin niya ang dalawang sekretarya niya.

Nang nasa loob na kami ng sasakyan ni mama habang bumibiyahe pauwi ay binuksan na naman niya ang usapan tungkol sa marriage match.

"What do you think about Mrs. Cojuangco's son?" she asked. "You two are in the same circle, right?  Do you talk to him?"

"He's gay, Ma," sagot ko habang deretso lang ang tingin sa daan. Well, 'yon ang usap-usapan ng mga kaibigan ko.

"Oh... well, people change."

Lumipad agad ang tingin ko sa kanya. I looked at her ridiculously. 

"What?" kibit niya habang tinitingnan ako with her fake innocent eyes.

"Hindi ako mamamatay bukas para maging ganyan ka desperada na kahit bakla eh papatulan na," I told her patiently. "And no, people don't change. We have papa and kuya as proof of that."

Hindi siya nagprotesta sa sinabi ko kaya siguro ay alam niya rin na totoo naman 'to.

"I can't believe the Uys snatched him away from us," she continued, not leaving the topic alone. "We were almost there but..."

It made me quiet and got a little bit lost in thoughts. "Confirmed na ba na uh...  engaged na sila?"

"That was the talk that night," she answered. "Pero ewan, it's too quiet now. Well, ganyan naman ang galawan ng mga Cua. They don't want to publicize things not unless it has been agreed upon. Including marriage."

"They looked good together," sabi ko, though it did not sit well with my pride.

"You two would look better together," pamimilit na naman niya sa ideya. "If only you'd... "

I threw her a look, challenging her to continue.

She shook her head in disappointment. "Minsan, napapatanong na lang ako kung saan mo nakuha ang katigasan ng ulo."

"Why is it my fault that he rejected the idea of me marrying him?" hindi ko na napigilan pa pagkatapos ng ilang minuto. Kasi simula ng tumanggi ang Cuas, ako na ang sinisisi ng pamilya.

"You must have done something to threw him off.  He was smitten at you during your dates. Kaya hindi ko mainitindihan kung bakit bigla ka na lang inayawan."She threw a suspicious look my way.

Duwag akong nag-iwas ng tingin. I was afraid that she would see the truth in my eyes.

"Maybe it's our family he didn't like," I tried to reason.

"That is nonsense," pagmamatigas niya. "We are a powerful family as well."

The heated topic was temporarily cut off since she had to dropped me off at my Art class where I would be spending my two-hour honing of my feminine skills.

At sa halos dalawang oras na pamamalagi ko rito, bundok at tatlong ulap lang ang naipinta ko. I was reminded that she told us earlier that the subject of our painting should be on how we wanted to be loved.

Iginala ko ang tingin sa mga kasamahan.  Apat lang kami na naroon kasama na ang art teacher namin. Sinilip ko ang canvas ng katabi.  I was amazed with her painting of a woman being hugged from the back by what seemed to be a silhouette of a man.

"We're going to wrap your canvas later," anunsiyo ng art teacher namin sa malumanay na boses. "You can give them to your special someone." Huminto siya sa paglalakad at binalingan ng tingin ang canvas ko.

"I was thinking about adding a sun," sabi kong habang kunwaring nag-iisip.

She grimaced but quickly hid it with an understanding smile when she turned to look at me. "That's fine. I'm sure you can do better at the next session."

I nodded and swallowed the lie on my throat. I've been coming here for weeks already,  pero parang wala pa rin akong improvement and she knows it. Sadyang malaki lang talaga ang ibinabayad ng family ko sa academy para palayasin ako ng art teacher.

Despite na palpak ang canvas ko,  binalot pa rin 'to ni Mrs. Tiu.

"I'm sure your special someone will appreciate the effort that you've exerted on your painting," patiuna niya bago pa ako makakontra.

"Right," I answered as I accepted the already covered canvas.  Hindi naman ito mabigat dahil maliit lang ang size ng canvas board. I was planning to just throw it outside once I'd be finally out of my art teacher's vision.

Pagkatapos ng class ay lumabas kaagad ako at dumeretso na sa naghihintay na sasakyan.  I told the driver kung saan ako ihahatid. Tumulak agad ako sa Binondo para tumambay na naman sa restaurant ni Feng.  I was craving for some lomi. Masyadong naging draining ang araw para sa akin at sa tuwing ganoon ang araw ko,  kina Feng ang nagiging takbuhan ko.

Once we've reached the area, umekis ang kilay ko habang pinapasadahan ng tingin ang gusaling pinapatayo ng mga Cua. They completely demolished the old building. At sa tayog ng scaffolding ng ipinapatayong high-rise building, agaw pansin naman talaga. I wondered if restaurant lang talaga ang ipapatayo nila.

"They work real fast, huh?" I murmured.

"Po, Miss Jia?"

I cleared my throat. Naisatinig ko pala ang naiisip kanina kaya tuloy akala ng driver kinakausap ko siya.

"Kina Feng lang tayo, Kuya," nasabi ko na lang kahit alam niya naman na.

Nang huminto na ang sasakyan sa gilid ng maliit na restaurant nina Feng, I felt that something was terribly off. It was too quiet and I did not see any people going inside gayong kalimitan naman ay madami silang customers.

Sa pagtataka ay hindi ko na hinintay pa na pagbuksan ng driver. Bumaba ako ng sasakyan at bago pa ako makalapit nang tuluyan ay narinig ko ang pagtawag ng driver sa akin.

I looked at him and saw him looking at somebody from the building construction across.

I squinted because of the heat of the sun. Alas dos na kasi ng hapon. Nakita ko ang isa sa mga construction worker na may suot na hardhat na nakatingin sa akin.

"Dinala sa ospital 'yong anak ng may-ari diyan, ma'am,  kaya walang tao!" he shouted for me to hear.

"Oh, my God..." I panicked. Kahit na nagpa-panic na ako,  nakuha ko pa rin siyang tanungin kung saang ospital dinala si Feng.

I asked him what had happened and why was my bestfriend brought to the hospital and of course he had no answer. Ang tanging alam niya lang ay dinala si Feng sa ospital. It just made me panicked even more for my best friend.

I was so glad that my driver was quick. He knew the urgency of the matter. Pinaharurot niya kaagad ang sasakyan papunta sa pinakamalapit na ospital kung saan dinala si Feng.  On our way there,  I tried calling her on her cellphone,  hindi siya sumasagot kaya mas lumala lang ang kaba ko.

It was just a short drive to the hospital. When the driver finally parked the car,  I opened the car door and went out right away.

Kabado akong naglakad papasok ng ospital. Sa pagiging aligaga ay hindi ko man lang namamalayan na bitbit ko pa rin pala ang nakabalot na canvas.

I had no time to look for a trash bin para itapon to kaya mistulang niyakap ko na lang.  Tinanong ko agad ang Information kung saang kuwarto si Feng. With the information given,  I went directly to the emergency room. I stopped on my tracks when I saw a very familiar face standing next to the green curtain.

Alec had his arms crossed as he listened to the doctor talking beside him. He was just in a simple gray shirt, maong jeans and brown expensive boots but his fashion still screamed masculine attractiveness that I had to shake my head a little.

He was still crossing his arms when he turned his head and saw me. A suprised look was etched on his face.

Sumugod kaagad ako at nawala ang kaba para mapalitan lang ng galit na emosyon.

"What did you do?" I accused him and then turned to look at the inclined bed where Feng was laying unconscious. Tiningnan ko ulit si Alec. "Ang sabi ko, anong ginawa mo sa kaibigan ko?"

Bumuka-sara ang bibig niya habang nakatitig sa akin.

"I didn't..."

I ignored him when I heard Feng moaned. Lumapit kaagad ako sa kanya.

"Feng..." I whispered worriedly. Tinitigan ko ang mukha niya at nakita ang pagod at pamumutla dito.

She slowly opened her eyes.  At first she was looking at me pero parang hindi ako ang tinitingnan niya kundi ang kuwarto kung nasaan siya.

"Feng, it's me, Jia,"  subok ko ulit.

Lumapit na rin ang doktor sa kanya at nagtawag na rin ito ng iilang nurses. I had no choice but to step back to let them do their jobs. They did some quick tests on her.

"Ayos lang ako...  Chill, guys." Narinig ko na reklamo ni Feng sa malat na boses. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag sa sinabi ng kaibigan.

"Anyare ba?" she asked and found my eyes. She tried to sit.  Inalalayan siya ng isang nurse habang ang doktor ay umalis lang saglit.

Imbes na sagutin siya ay napatingin na rin ako kay Alec. Nahuli ko siyang sa akin naman nakatitig. I gave him a questioning look.

He did not even look guilty when I caught him looking at me.  I wondered kung kanina pa ba siya nakatitig lang sa akin?

He cleared his throat. Inilipat niya na ang tingin kay Feng para makasagot.

"You suddenly fainted while we were talking," he answered in a deep voice.

Napabaling na rin ako sa kaibigan. Kumunot ang noo niya at halatang inaalala na ang nangyari.

"Ah," she nodded as if she finally remembered. "Ang huli ko lang naalala ay 'yong tinatanong mo 'ko kung may jowa na ba si Jia."

Umawang ang labi ko sa narinig.

Tiningnan ako ni Feng at nagngising aso na siya. "Nandito na rin naman siya kaya siya na lang ang tanungin mo?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "I was so worried about you!" sabi ko at lumapit ulit sa kanya. Gusto ko siyang yugyugin pero baka makasama pa 'yon sa kanya. "You did not even call me!"

"Pasensiya na at hindi ko naman kasi alam kung kailan ako hihimatayin."

"Feng, naman," I lamented but laughed a little.

She sighed. "Thankful nga ako at wala si tatay dahil nasa Cebu, pero ikaw naman ang pinag-alala ko."

"Of course, I'd be worried," sabi ko. "You're my best friend!"

"Jia, ako lang naman ang kaibigan mo," seryosong paalala niya na nagpatawa ulit sa'kin.

The doctor told us na hindi naman seryoso ang lagay ng kaibigan ko. She just needed some rest dahil over fatigue lang and that she was also dehydrated. Feng needed to spend one more day in the hospital kaya naman kumuha na ako ng isang kuwarto para sa kanya para maging komportable siya.

Halos madilim na sa labas nang nagpaalam ako sa kanya para makapagpahinga siya. I offered to stay with her but she was adamant against it. She reassured me that she was really fine at na huwag na rin daw akong maging praning. Before I left her,  she told me about this bizarre dream of hers.

"Alam mo bang noong unconscious ako, nakatulog lang ako no'n," she told me. "Nanaginip pa ako na nakasuot ka ng wedding gown—" I rolled my eyes at this point and she shushed me, "tapos sa tabi mo si Alec Von Cua."

"That's crazy, Feng." Umirap ulit ako.

Her brows furrowed. Nakatitig siya sa kawalan at ilang segundo pa ay tiningnan niya ulit ako. "Pero ang weird din kasi may nakita akong parang mantsa ng dugo sa white wedding gown mo."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Maybe because in the end hindi magkakatoo?"

She shook her head as if she was trying to erase the bad memory. "Ah, basta..." Napatingin siya sa hawak ko.  "Ano ba 'yan at kanina mo pa hawak?"

"It's from my Art class."

Tumango siya at nilinga niya ang pintuan sa kuwarto. "Umuwi na ba siya?"

Alam kong si Alec ang tinutukoy niya. "For sure kanina pa 'yon nakauwi."

"Ay, sayang nakalimutan kong magpasalamat," dismayadong saad ni Feng. "Ang bait niya pala, ano? Dinala niya pa ako sa ospital tapos kanina, puwede niya naman akong iwanan lang bago ka dumating. Pasalamatan mo siya para sa'kin."

I looked away. "Puwede mo naman siyang pasalamatan nang personal kapag bumisita siya ulit sa restaurant ninyo."

"Don't tell me nagseselos ka?" tukso ni Feng habang natatawa. "Galit ka ba dahil siguro kinarga niya ako no'ng nahimatay ako?"

"Excuse me!" Tumaas ang boses ko.

Mas natawa lang siya. "Huwag kang mag-alala hindi ko na siya crush dahil obvious na obvious naman na ikaw ang gusto niya. And for sure mabait lang siya sa'kin kasi alam niyang magkaibigan tayo."

I shook my head when I remembered that last thing she told me. Bumukas ang elevator at lumabas na ako.  Napahinto ako sa paglalakad sa lobby ng ospital dahil sa gulat nang makita si Alec na nakaupo sa lounge.

He stood when he saw me. I calmed my nerves and made my way towards him.

"Uh... Akala ko nakauwi ka na," patiuna ko. "Sabi ni Feng salamat daw sa pagdala sa kanya rito. Bakit nga pala nandito ka pa?"

"Hinihintay kita."

"Oh, what for?" kalmado kong sinabi kahit na ramdam ang pagdoble ng tibok ng puso dahil sa naging sagot niya. "Hindi ka ba hinihintay ngayon ng fiancee mo?"

From my hands, umangat ang tingin niya sa mukha ko. Nakita ko ang kalituhan sa mga mata niya.

"Fiancée? "

I confidently nodded. "Usap-usapan na engaged ka na.  You know, with that Uy. Congratulations."

"No, I am still a bachelor. I am not engaged," he emphasized the last word and he gave me a smoldering look before he continued, "Well, not yet."

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at pinigilan ang sariling huwag paypayan. It was suddenly getting hot in the lobby!

I heard him sighed. "What's that?"

Napabaling ulit ako sa kanya dahil sa tanong niya. I found him curiously looking at the canvas board still on my hands.

"My painting," I answered nonchalantly. "Itatapon ko na sana kaso wala akong makitang basurahan."

"Why would you throw it away?"

"I don't like it that much. I'm making another one."

He still looked curious. "May I see?"

"It's not finished yet." I hugged it as if he was going to snatch it away from me. Nahiya rin ako nang maalala ang gawa ko.

"Akala ko ba itatapon mo?" he asked with a raised brow. He raised his hand mid air and opened his palm. "I'll do the honor of throwing it for you."

Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi. I gave in and finally handed it to him. Naisip ko rin na siya na ang magtatapon kaya wala na akong problema.

He accepted it eagerly. The color suddenly left my face when he carefully tore the paper cover off the canvas.

I gasped. "Anong ginagawa mo?"

Umangat ang sulok ng labi niya at tiningnan nang maayos ang painting na gawa ko. My mind was telling me to snatch it away from him but for some reason my body decided to just freeze.

Ipinasa-ere niya ang canvas at kunot noong tinitigan na para bang hinuhusgahan niya.

"I told you, it's not done yet!" I said defensively.

"Looks pretty done to me." He cocked an eyebrow while still looking at my painting. "Aren't clouds supposed to be white?"

I grimaced when I remembered mine were painted blue.

"Pakialam mo ba kung blue 'yong sa'kin?  And an art is supposed to be about self-expression so I just expressed myself that way! At gaya nga ng sabi ko, hindi pa tapos 'yan," pagmamatigas ko. "You see,  I was about to add a sun on top of the clouds but..." Huminto ako sa pagsasalita ng walang kabuluhan dahil sa nakitang sumilay na multo ng ngiti sa mga labi niya.

I've never felt so insulted and at the same time humiliated in my entire life!

"I am not perfect, okay," malamyang pag-amin ko sa huli. "Art is my weakness and I'm still trying to learn it but it's just so hard." Mahina akong napabuntonghininga. "Akin na, Alec."

"No."He slightly shook his head. "Itatapon mo rin naman 'to kaya kukunin ko na."

I looked at him ridiculously. "What are you gonna do with it?"

"You really wanna know?" Nasa akin na ang buong atensiyon niya.

I nodded like an eager puppy.

Matagal at seryoso niya akong tiningnan. "Agree to have dinner with me right now, and I'll tell you."