The trio walked across hilly terrain.

"I don't mean to be a downer, but we have a lot to do. Find these other survivors hiding god knows where, force Cassandra to get us out of the Void, stop Paradox from destroying my world with his Time Ripper -- Rippa. It sounds better when you say it in an Australian accent. Yeah, got a nice little Time Rippa there. That's fun."

"It's not."

"And there was something else..."

"Fix the shit on my timeline."

"Good god, right. This plot refresher is exhausting. Rippa."

After a moment of quiet, Logan asked, "Was?"

"Huh?"

"Back in the diner you said, "was". Logan "was a hero." What happened?"

"He died."

Ape looked up at Wade like he was confused. Logan himself looked surprised. "How?"

"Well, technically, you were chestfucked by a tree. But really? Ya just ran outta batteries trying to save someone."

"Who?"

"The shitheels that grew her in a lab called her X-23."

Logan pointed his thumb towards Ape, "Him?"

"Not him. Another version of him. Her name was Laura. And her mother wasn't Miss Beast McCoy but some poor Mexican girl that was never seen again once Laura was born."

"Another kid."

"She was just a kid. A younger, daintier, somehow meaner version of you. You died trying to save her. It was beautiful."

Ape stopped walking, mind racing with thoughts. Logan saw this and stopped too. "You okay, kid?"

Ape slowly nodded but his big brown eyes were far away, filling with tears.

"Awe, Baby Beasty. What's with the water works, pal?" Wade said, kneeling down to him.

Ape sniffled, wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

Wolverine saw something in the kid and asked gently, "You miss ya mom and dad?"

Ape slowly nodded again.

Wade sighed, "Look, mijo, I know you're hurting. My blind elderly, African American roommate, Blind Al always says that pain teaches us who we are." He ruffled Ape's black hair. "And that sometimes we need to listen to that pain instead of running from it."

"Holy shit." Logan said.

"I know right! She's wise."

"No. That's her name? You call her 'Blind Al'?

"Well, she's blind. And her name is Al."

Suddenly, an ungodly high-pitched bark cut across the void. Deadpool and Wolvie, on high alert, turned towards the threat, both instinctually shielded Ape using their bodies.

Cresting the hill, bathed in a yellow glow and silhouetted, bounded an animal. Smallish, maybe 10 to 20 pounds. And what came into view was easily described as the ugliest dog on the planet. White hair on top of its head, the rest of its body was bald and brown. The biggest tongue dangling from its lips, almost tripping itself up on it. Wide bug eyes and wearing a mini Deadpool outfit.

Deadpool dropped to his knees, ripped off his mask and extended his arms for the dog. The dog came charging and lept into Wade's arms. She bathed Wade's face in a hideous cocktail of saliva from a cankerous tongue.

"Oh my heavens! Look at you. She's coming with us!"

"No, she's not." Logan's face was full of disgust.

"Oh yes, she is."

"Fuck no."

"Oh yes." Wade turned to Ape, "What about you, my mini Kong, wanna bring this shrivelled up testicle with us?"

Ape let out a little giggle and nodded.

"See, even Jr wants her-"

Just then a voice was heard from just over the hill.

"Sorry! Sorry 'bout that! Come here, girl."

They watched as a man crested the hill. He's immaculate. He wore a Deadpool suit with no mask. The suit looked like Yves Saint Laurent himself slummed it and designed a Marvel film. The man's about twenty-percent more muscular and after a pretty healthy session in Lola, looks like a younger Ryan Reynolds in his prime before his looks were ravaged by four children and ten side hustles. The man's a goddamn angel.

"Who the fuck are you?" Wade sneered.

"I'm Deadpool. And I guess you're Deadpool too? There's a few of us. But in here, everybody calls me Nicepool. Or Wendy. Oh my goodness, wait 'til you see LadyPool! She is gorgeous. She just had a baby too, and you can't even tell."

"I don't think you're supposed to say that."

"That's okay. I identify as a feminist."

At that, Logan saw Ape roll his eyes, making him smirk slightly.

"Right." Wade said, unsure. "You look like a Lamborghini."

"Thank you." Nicepool smiled, flicking his long hair over his shoulder gracefully.

Then Wade spotted something and gasped. "Are those gold plated .50 calibre Desert Eagle pistoleros?"

"Of course. To match my ear huggie." He pointed to his clip-on ear piercing.

"Can I have them?"

"Ha! Over my dead body. You're fun." Nicepool gestured to the dog, "And I guess you've already met Mary Puppins. AKA: Dogpool. Careful where you put your hand, she's ninety percent g-spot, and she'll let you know it. You let this little flirt out of your sight for one second and she starts shopping for a new papa."

Dogpool had rested comfortably in Wade's arms. While Wade conversed, the dog intermittently licks the inside of his mouth. It's both horrifying and vaguely intimate. Everyone was uncomfortable watching. Especially Logan and Ape - who had twin expressions of revolution.

"If you can't be a responsible pet owner, then maybe you don't deserve this little unicorn."

"Guilty! On all charges, your honor!" Nicepool made his hands into prayer hands, "It shan't happen again."

"Why are you so nice?"

"It costs nothing to be kind."

Logan added, "Shutting the fuck up is also free."

That made Ape laugh, gaining Logan's proud look.

Nicepool said, "Caliente."

"This is Logan." Wade introduced. "He's usually shirtless but he's let himself go since the divorce."

"And the little one?"

"Ape. An X-23 variant we won in the divorce settlement."

"We're looking for a group of survivors." Logan interrupted, getting back to the point.

"Oh. Yeah. There's a bunch of us." Informed Nicepool. "Offshoots, Variants, castaways. The void is a kooky, kooky place. Cassandra likes to feed us to Alioth. Scary."

"We need to find this group hiding out in the borderlands. You know where that is?"

"Yeah, that's twelve clicks due west. I can lend you my ride if you'd like. It would be my honor."

Nicepool took the trio to a cornfield were his ride was waiting. The car itself... a beat- up 2011 Honda Odyssey Minivan.

"No. No, no, no. Absolutely not!" Wade complained.

Logan sighed. "Just get in the car."

"This isn't a car. This is a Honda fucking Odyssey. Throttle response sucks a cock. Dated infotainment system. When Honda saw that untreated chlamydia was making a comeback, they invented the Honda Odyssey to compete. Every time I talked a customer out of one of these and into a Kia, well goddamn it, an angel got its wings."

Logan looked so done. So exhausted. "You done?"

"Almost...yes."

"Yeah?"

"Okay. I'm done."

"Get. In the fucking. Car."

Nicepool patted the hood. "She'll getcha there safe and sound. Ol' Betsy always does." Deadpool snuggled into Dogpool. "But you're gonna have to give me my dog back though..."

"I know. Listen... Yes. If you ever wanna give her up... Or if she needs a new home, or, if, I dunno... something should happen to you... I'd love to be her papa."

Nicepool laughed, "What would ever happen to me?"

A long beat. Deadpool just stared as he stroked the dog cryptically. "Lots of stuff."

After an awkward moment, Logan tried to grab the dog from Wade - who tried to escape with the dog through the corn.

"No no! We're running away!"

Wolverine managed to grab Dogpool by the scruff and gave her back to Nicepool.

"The corn was too dense, girl." Wade watched as the dog reunited with her owner and felt so disappointed. "Fuck!"

"Hey. Loved meeting you!" Nicepool called as the three got inside the car. Logan behind the wheel, Wade in the passenger and Ape in the back. "Especially you." He said to Logan, "Your rage chakras are throbbing."

"Get your own Wolverine!" Wade yelled through the closed glass, "You already got the dog, what more do you want, you selfish prick!"

And with that, Logan started the car and began to drive.