As they drove, Deadpool began playing around in the car, shooting fake webs from his hands.

"Stop it." Logan growled, turning off the radio.

"I love that song."

"I love this song." Referring to the silence.

"Been a while since somebody's had a drink, huh? Feelings can swim, you know. You can't drown them, no matter how hard you try."

"You hold their head under long enough...they'll stop squirming."

Not wanting to talk, Logan put the radio back on but Wade had other ideas, turning it back off.

"Here's the thing. I get that you're trying to forget everything, but what's with the suit? The first thing I did when I flamed out...I took mine off."

"Drop it."

"It's not that ugly..."

"Stop talking about my suit." He was getting angry.

"Did you make it yourself? Been there."

Wolverine was getting seriously pissed off. "Quit. Now."

"Did the X-Men make you wear it? Those sons of fucking bitches. They are not your friends, I'll tell you that. Friends don't let friends leave the house looking like they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams."

"Shut the fuck up about the suit."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch your frown lines, angel baby. I'm just trying to bond a little bit."

"Then talk about something else."

"FINE!" He took a deep breath, looking in the backseat to where Ape was looking out the window, watching the clouds. He leaned towards Logan, voice low. "What are you gonna do about the kid? Drop him off at the fire station?"

Logan just sneered at him.

Wade surrendered, then asked, "So... If they can fix your world what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get out of here? Some rubbing alcohol shots, maybe a wiper fluid chaser?"

"What'd you say?"

"I said when you get back, what's the first thing you're gonna do?"

"No, no, no. Before that."

Realizing he's in for it now, Wade reluctantly said, "If...If...they can fix your world?"

Wolverine jammed the brakes and Ape went flying into Logan's seat with a yelp of surprise.

"Whaddya mean, "if"?" Logan's eyes were full of rage as he stared Wade down.

"I mean..."

"You lied to me. You don't have a fucking clue if they can help me fix things, do you?"

"No. I...I mean..."

Wolverine stabbed his claws into Deadpool's thigh.

"OWWWWW. Fuck!? FUCK. I DIDN'T LIE!"

"YOU LIED!"

"No, I made an educated wish!" He sounded desperate. "Because I need you!"

Deadpool whipped out something from his pouch, and showed it to Logan. It's the photo from his birthday party cake, a picture of all his friends.

"This. This is why. Right here. Because if we don't do something, they die. I don't know anything about saving worlds. Why would I even care because MY entire world is right here in this picture. It's only nine people and I have no idea how to save it alone. I know how to

fuck people up for money. But you. YOU know how to save 'em. At least the other Wolverine did. I guess I'm stuck with the worst one."

A pause. Silence.

"Did you say you made an EDUCATED. FUCKING. WISH?!"

"They call me the 'Merc With The Mouth'. They don't call me, 'Truthful Timmy, the blowjob queen of Saskatoon'."

Wolvie stared at Deadpool. Pulled his claw out of Deadpool's thigh and raised his fist. Scary. The words barely find their way through his rage and gritted teeth.

"One more word. Please, give me one."

A second of consideration then Wade spoke, "Gubernatorial."

Wolverine almost lunged at Deadpool. Almost. But he stopped. Suddenly revelling in the chance to be even more hurtful.

"You know what?" He said, darkly, "You are a fucking JOKE. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you. Or the X-Men-- and they'll take fucking anyone. I mean, you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering little

prick in my entire life and that says a lot because I've been alive for more than TWO HUNDRED FUCKING YEARS. And I'll tell ya, that bald chick was right about one thing... You will never save the world. You couldn't even save a relationship with a GODDAMN STRIPPER. And motherfucker, I WISH I could say you'd die alone-- but it's one of god's best jokes that you can't die. Except it's on all of us!"

Deadpool was stunned. He looked hurt. Really hurt.

Logan huffed, "You got nuthin' to say, mouth?!"

Glancing behind his shoulder towards Ape, Wade said, "Kid, get out of the car. Mommy and daddy need to have a little alone time."

Sensing the tension, Ape quickly got out of the car and climbed a nearby tree.

Wade then turned to Logan and said quietly, "I'm going to fight you now."

The other man started laughing. "Oh.... are you--"

BAM. Deadpool's closed fist bounced off Logan's face. Wolvie's face filled with shock, then... RAGE.

Ape watched the vehicle rock with the violence inside. Suddenly, SMASH! Wolverine launched out the front window. He picked himself up then dived back through the window with his claws ready.

More rocking, pitching, smashing.

Relentless violence. Wolverine slammed his claws into Deadpool's chest below his sternum.

Wolverine started rotating his fist back and forth, cracking and popping Wade's ribs. Wade produced a knife and went to work on Logan, jackhammering the blade into his flesh over and over. Logan then smashed Wade through the front window before breaking his arm, making him scream.

"No, no, no, AHHH! SON OF A--"

The jaw-dropping symphony of carnage continued as every inch and accessory of the minivan got deployed. Deadpool used a seatbelt to choke Logan.

Wade then stabbed Wolverine in the leg. "Baby knife!"

Logan used his claws to escape the choking hazard and then flung himself at Wade, slashing any flesh he could find.

They paused to catch their breath.

"I take it all back. The Honda Odyssey fucks hard. Too bad you don't, needle dick." He taunted, giving a 'come here' gesture with his two fingers.

"Oh we're just getting started, bub." Logan announced then slammed his claws into each side of Deadpool's head at his ears.

As he started to lose consciousness, Wade retrieved his knife and went back to stabbing.

The Odyssey continued to rock and shake.

Ape watched with concern for a few minutes then he grew bored and decided to lay back against the tree's stump, closing his eyes until he fell asleep.

The fighting lasted into the night, only for it to stop when exhaustion peeked. Logan had to use all the seatbelts in the car to tie down Wade for himself to be able to sleep.

As the night grew cold and dark, silence rained down.

Then a set of boots came onto the scene.

A stranger had entered the shitshow.