Deadpool and Logan emerged from the destroyed building they had landed in. Logan spotted Laura stumble out from a hole in another building. She had a cut on her forehead that was healing.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. You?"

Wade stretched his broken fingers, fixing them. "That was not fun." He then noticed someone missing. "Where's Donkey Kong?"

Laura caught Dean's eye from where he was dangling from the fire escape. She pointed. They followed her guide and Wade hissed through his teeth.

"Hey, Curious George?! You good?!"

Dean groaned but gave a thumbs up.

The portal started to expand and gave an impending doom to whoever would come wandering through.

"Stop." He stopped Logan and Laura from stepping forward. "Give a moment for the extras to get out of frame. Go. Go. Go."

People from the nearby building ran away from the scene.

Dean suddenly jumped down from above, landing on all fours with a snarl.

Laura smirked at him. "Superhero landing."

"Oh, my God!" Wade exclaimed when seeing who came running in through the portal. "OH MY GOD!"

And then, in the delicate silence came a dog's barking.

"It's her! Come on, girl! Come on, girl!"

Dogpool ran through the street and happily jumped into Wade's waiting arms.

Deadpool grabbed Dogpool, cuddling her and letting the mutt lick him all over. Logan watched with a grimace while Laura and Dean chuckled at the ridiculousness.

"My girl! We don't have to be apart, ever ever again! Never ever--"

"Sorry!" It was Nicepool.

"FUCK!"

Nicepool jogged up.

"What's top-knot doing here?"

"Sorry about that."

"Tremble not, sweet Mary Puppins." Wade whispered to the dog, stroking her fuzzy hair. "I'll handle him."

"Come here, girl. Papa's here."

Wade batted his hands away. "Do not insult this animal's autonomy. She can decide who her papa is." He held up the dog. "What's it gonna be, girl, huh? The original recipe or Van Milder here."

"Ah, that's funny. I can gently tap the fourth wall too." He turned to the audience and winked. "The Proposal."

Wade was insulted. "What the fuck was that? Bitch, you think that's what I do?"

"Both of you shut up." Logan growled, then paused and sniffed the air.

"You smell something, Cujo?"

Laura and Dean followed suit, noses wrinkling.

"Yeah, you." He answered.

"A lot of you." Laura polished.

From within the sparkle circle down the block, now an oval shape, dozens of Deadpool variants emerge. It was a total freakshow. Variant after variant of Deadpools with the supermodel Ladypool at the front and centre. Punkpool, Samurai Deadpool, Cowboypool, Zenpool, Welshpool, ect, ect, ect.

"I told you there were a lot of Deadpools over there." Nicepool said.

"Holy shit."

Logan narrowed his eyes at them, "I take it they're not friendly?"

"No no no. Cassandra brought them here. Their only job is to make sure that nobody gets anywhere near her."

"Fantastic." Laura commented.

Deadpool kissed Dogpool and passed her to Wolverine. "Hold please."

"Oh, god." Logan's nose wrinkled when getting the dog, her long tongue grazing his arm.

Wade stepped up to announce the Deadpool crowd. "Alright, look! Guys! Deadpool Prime here. Our fight isn't with you!"

A child in a Deadpool suit called out after him, "Hey! When we want your opinion I'll

take Wolverine's dick out of your mouth!"

Dean started laughing, Laura holding in her own chuckles.

"That's Kidpool. She's the dirtiest." Nicepool explained.

"Can we just be done?!" Wade asked, frustrated.

It was Ladypool who answered. "Ah ha ha, we are JUST getting started."

"No no no with the whole multiverse thing. It's not great. It's just been miss after miss after miss. Look, the Wizard of Oz did the multiverse first and they did it best. The gays knew it...but we didn't listen. Let's just take the L and move on."

"Wait... you're not one of the gays?" Laura teased.

Wade gasped out dramatically, hand over his chest, "How dare you?! I am a Pansexual Switch. I love all bodies. Every shape, shade and genitalia."

"You're not the only one." Said Nicepool. "All Deadpools are Pansexual."

They watched as every single Deadpool variant nodded and shrugged in agreement.

"And the multiverse is over." Added Ladypool.

"Cassandi gonna destroy the fuck out of every timeline. And you all can't do shit about it." Said Cowboypool.

Wade huffed, "Do you not get it? If we don't go down to the subway and stop her we all die."

"The boss lady don't want no disturbances."

"You wanna get down to the subway," Said Headpool, floating on his helicopter hat, "you gotta go through us." He turned to Ladypool. "Uzi time, baby."

"Uzi time, baby." She repeated, pulling out her guns.

"Look alive!" Wade warned.

Ladypool opened fire at Wade, making the others around her do the same. Bullets flying from every angle. Logan wrapped his arm around both X-23 variants and dived with them behind a car. Wade himself grabbed hold of Nicepool and used him as a human shield, riddling him with bullets.

Wade then joined Logan, Dean and Laura, putting Nicepool to the floor.

"I think I'm hit." Nicepool said, coughing up blood but still smiling.

"Oh shit."

"You did that on purpose." Logan snarled.

"I did no such thing!" He looked to his variant. "Listen to me, gorgeous. How long

does it take for you to regenerate?"

"Regenerate?"

Awkward. A very awkward silence. Deadpool scratched his chin.

Wolverine sighed heavily, "You really are God's perfect idiot, aren't you?"

"How dare you? I should be ashamed of yourself. How was I supposed to know he doesn't regenerate?! I'm not a medicine woman!"

"He's going to fucking die!" Laura growled.

"I'm okay." Nicepool said, lying.

Wade spotted a donut stand. "Look, a donut cart. They're practically hospitals! They sell portable triage units."

Logan shook his head at a confused Dean. "They don't."

"I'm gonna get you to safety."

"He's not."

"Deep breath." Deadpool crossed the line of fire once more with Nicepool held in front of him. It's clear he's using Nicepool as a human shield, AGAIN. He stopped in the middle of the fire, panting.

"Hey. Why are we stopping?"

"I'm just catching my breath. What? Are your legs on vacation? You're dead weight."

"That's because I'm paralyzed."

"We all have problems." Wade turned to see all three Howletts watching him with shock horror expressions. He ignored them and said to Nicepool, "Listen to me. You're going to live. Look at me, Nicepool. You're going to live. Say it!"

"I'm going to live."

"Say it with me. You're going to live!"

"I'm going to live!"

"SAY IT LOUDER!"

"I'm going to--" BLAM! Nicepool's head was blown clean off.

Wade let out a high pitched scream then ducked behind the donut stand with Nicepool's body.

Laura rolled her eyes and took Dogpool into her hands and held her up in the air. Seeing the dog, all the Deadpool's change their minds.

"Hold your fire!" Ordered Ladypool.

The Deadpool Corps hold their fire, not wanting to injure the dog.

Laura stood with the dog in her arms and Logan stood behind her, shielding Dean with his own body. The three cross over to where Deadpool was performing chest compressions on Nicepool's decapitated body, which just produced intermittent blood-gushes out of the neck stump. Wade's face was covered in brain parts. All the Wolvies stared at him with disgust.

"GODDAMNIT! I don't think he's going to make it." He tilted his head at Logan, "Do I have anything on my face?"

"You have a whole face on your face."

"God, I can taste his final thought." He wiped his face to get all the brain off. "He was so afraid. But he died a hero."

"He died from murder, you dumb fuck!"

Ape reached up to pick off Nicepool's ear that was on Wade's shoulder only to fling it away with a disgusted flap of his hands.

"Estúpido." Laura muttered.

"Hey! I know what you said!"

"Good for you."

"He died for us, for our mission... and all I have to remember him by are" He lifted up Nicepool's golden guns, "these two gold-plated .50 caliber desert eagle pistoleros." He smiled so big they could all see it behind the mask. "This is for him, are you badgers ready?"

"I'm in." Said Laura.

"Me too." Ape announced.

"I get to kill a hundred yous. Fuck yeah I'm ready." Logan said but took Dogpool from Laura, placing her down on the ground, "You don't want to see this, bub."

Wade stroked her before she ran off. "That's a good girl."

The four of them stepped out from cover and crossed into the middle of the street. Wolverine reached back behind his collar and pulled on his classic mask, glorious signature wings and all. He looked terrifyingly good.

"Holy shit!" Wade exclaimed with joy, "You save the good stuff for special occasions?"

"Killing, mostly."

"And sex?"

Logan growled.

"Not even for Valentine's day?"

"Shut up."

"What's the wind resistance on those blowjob handles?"

Wolverine gritted his teeth.

"Can you two flirt later?" Laura hissed, "This isn't the time."

"I don't know, I like that they've kept their spark alive after all these years." Dean muttered.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a catty bitch when I'm horny." Wade gleamed, winking to Logan and whispered, "We'll celebrate later."

SNIKT! Both Logan's and Laura's claws came bursting out their knuckles while Dean's nails grew in length. His teeth a thunderous snarl as he bared them. All three Howletts did the same pose, ready and threatening.

Wade clicked the safety off his new golden guns. "Alright, let's do this. MAXIMUM EFFORT."