[ roselin/auburn ]

the wind chimes hanging from
the i·v·ylined library windows
c l i n k like tinkling china
  l
    i
     n
       k
{of the i=n=k engraved in the
scent of vintage and old books}

the    wind    chimes   blow
these bookshelves glow
as autumn dies
            i fade
   beige p'o'e't'r'y in the s'k'y
the leaves wither and sigh
as   autumn   dies   i   jade

my fingers sprout iced vertigo
 over the pristine gloss of the
h
    o
          n
        e
                   y
              s
       u
   c
           k
              l   
        e
co[lo]red paper pa[nel] cover of
       this poetr[y] collection   

[ roselin/auburn ]

i smile when your eyes w i d e n
just looking at you makes me
less
   e  m  p  t  y
"hello," i say
leaning against the bookshelf
      your face only 2 ft away
on the other side

the song of the w i n  d chimes
cur/l/s through your charc/o/al
hair dissol/v/ing
        soaking
               into your
h/e/ather gray dark  
academia sweater         oh,
              you're perfect

your smile is  imbued with the
tender e f
      f l
       o r e s c e n c e
of forget-me-nots by a river of
 tender insomnia and suicide

a million supernovas 3XP10D3
in my soul,       "would you   
                 like to
{comets of        walk
ecstasy}           with me?

your smile is a slice of pale blue
moon: we didn't need words, we
just smiled and
            the message was
co nv ey ed

[ roselin/auburn ]

"where are we going?" i ask,
the brown, rusted november
l + e + a + v + e + s ( = i'll fall
from the tree one day)
d
  ang
      l
       ing
from your fervent eyes filled to
the brim with
          the epitome of
     empty

"i don't really know..."

"okay,      
let's just see where our minds
                  lead
               us,"
           the
late-autumn    
          b r e e z e   
           j a d e s
        my
  faded
       mind
       but your empty eyes
are what keeps me from fading
a   w      a           y

"why do you want to walk with
me?"     i ask, with curiosity

"because i'm lonely," you say so
    with light-heartedness
        but we both
           heard
       the hollowness
        in your words

my    veins are scribbled with
shrunken i   k   i   g   a   i
and swirling syllables engraved
in my red blood cells that
r e a r r a n g e
         a r r r n g e a e
themselves to spell,
                so am i

[ roselin/auburn ]

"autumn is the death of summer,"
i whisper softly
my words
        d i s s o l v i n g
and s c a  t    t   e  r  i n g
in the cool breeze

"so am i..."      you murmur
absentmindedly / oh autumn girl
you are so b-l-u-e
     your skin tells the remains
                  of a story
mixed with tender wisps of
             insomnia and the
    fragments of an arcadia lost
oh, autumn girl
           you are a lost town.

but that is why you are beautiful;
you fall with deadly grace
             instead of
s h r e d d i n g
      at the seams into a horrid
catastrophe, but even then
        you would be beautiful

the satin silence pulls between us
before i speak, "what do you
believe is the most beautiful
           thing in the world?"

you gaze at me softly, your eyes
crinkled with feverish warmth
b l u e 
       £I3 u t t e r f l i e s
dancing over an inky embrace
of homemade
d-d-d-dynamite
            &
              painless dark

"hmmm... it's the small things
that make a difference. like the
first leaf that
  a
    l
in     l       or the way a
autumn   s    kitten blinking
           at a dragonfly on
        a warm april morning
or
the way a waved line in the
c o n c r e t e can
make you feel so me
              l a
              n c
              h o
              l y       
how about you?          ,"

you lick your lips and   smile
your eyes searching mine for a
s       i  g    n  
that im not an empty hollow of
a human
       but i know that you'll
find none

"the most beautiful in the world
is someone's humanity (and that
is  why everyone
   i
   t
   h
   e
   r             when they
   s           see my soul)"

we've reached the school gates t
                         h
                         e
park is just a
                 road away
          the wind
          b l o w s
           autumn
a   w       a           y

you look at me   carefully and
for a fleeting moment i
             feelasif
you can see through me and
into everythingiam
         (everything i hated)
and that almost scares me for
a nanosecond
   becauesidontwannaloseyou

" do you believe that you are
beautiful?" you ask    quietly
your eyes hazed with
      ivylined f a c a d e s

we reach the beginning of the
road to somewhere
leading into the park
    painted with the scent of  
                     a
                   l
                 l 
               i
             n
           g
the wind rises and i
imagine me      n a field
               of
          totoros and a
graveyard of fireflies and little
kodama lighting like lanterns in
the darkness of the winter that   
            is yet to come

"no, (i am not human i lost my
humanity an illenium a g o )"

you stop then. we are under an
elm tree engraved with scars of
       t r a  g  e   d    y
willow trees enshroud the
nearby pond in which your
hair glowed bronze as you
              sketched alice
              into our world

the wavering sunlight holds the
tender bliss of autumn heartbreak
as fall
   e
    l
     l
                for winter

"no,"   you    say   sharply,
then your voice melts like
tender butter under
the sweet july sun and
i melt along with it because it's
so tender that it breaks my
aching frozen december heart.
      "no, you are beautiful,"

"listen to me, auburn," you look
into my eyes and it makes me
feel so desperately hollow that
i just want you to complete me
(but i am so incompleted that
          o
          t
          h
           ing
can ever fill the cracks of my
sharded mind), "they call you
weak, heartless, insane. then
you start to believe them. and
in the end we are all monsters,"

[ roselin/auburn ]

your eyes darken into gaping
v o 
i d s
of deep auburn whiskey and
they are so empty
           that i wonder
           if you are blind

i touch your face ; your skin
feels like gravel and dusty
leaves
    red roses growing
    white petals
roses and thorns mixing into
your beige gold cheeks and
i feel so close to you, close
to you closetoyou

"i'm a monster," (and i want
to save you because that is
the only way to save myself)

you  kissed me then, by the
pond that collected all the
t
  e
a
  r
s      that the rain washed
away, all the tears i want
you to cry because
you don't seem
like you ever let
the tears in your
     chest          go
         all the tears
        i want to wipe
       a   w   a   y

you kissed me then, and the
wind could have risen and
blown the upcoming snow
into our hearts but the
 seeds of the tender fever &
  love would have bloomed
  spring into the minds that
             enslaved us

you taste my tears before i
know that they'd stained my
cheeks, and for a very very
long moment i could believe
that we were the only people
in the universe; and we stay
there, behind the dying tree,
your heart in my mouth and
        my tears in yours

a/n

*cringes at the last part* *yeets*

*comes back to ask:*

what do you believe is the most
beautiful thing in the world?

*yeets again*