"Why in the fuck did you drag me here?!" The shoggoth-turned-human shouted at the crumbling ceiling. "I was in the middle of something important! Something you ordered me to do!" The redhead screamed in frustration, his eyes momentarily transitioning to the glowing, purple orbs that the viscous blobs often spawned. "What did those fish-lipped bimbos screw up again?! 'Cause I can smell their rotting shrimp, skank asses!"

Percy kept one wary eye on the ranting man as he offered what assistance he could to his husband. He couldn't put into words how worried he was that Nico had become violently ill the moment the redhead appeared; dropping to his knees and emptying his stomach all over the already ruined carpet. There was always some concern of contracting a disease unique to the given world they were in, but the timing was just too perfect to be a coincidence. Though what would I give for that to be the case just once...

"Do you know how much it hurts to be shoved through a hole smaller than a photon?!" The redheaded stranger continued to roar into the darkness.

Gods, Hazel and Bianca would faint if they heard this guy, he thought as he draped Nico's arm over his shoulders. Although he was curious about the stranger, his concern for Nico's well-being was far greater. And if the guy turned out to be hostile (which was growing likelier with each profanity-ridden exclamation), he would be at a severe disadvantage by having to defend the two of them. So, he believed his best course of action was to get Nico as far away as possible and hope he recovered. "Neeks, think you can hop on my back?" Percy asked as he crouched lower and tugged on the son of Hades' arm.

Still panting, and as pale as death, Nico looked up and nodded slightly. He started to climb on Percy's back, only to suddenly halt and heave what little contents remained in his stomach. After a moment though, the lightning wielding demigod took a series of short and rapid breaths and managed to crawl onto the son of Poseidon's back with a little assistance from some small geysers.

"That's my man," Percy whispered as Nico wrapped his arms around his neck, passing him the Master Bolt in the process. With hardly a thought, water pooled beneath the soles of his shoes, setting up for a trick he learned back before they learned about the cosmic horrors that surrounded them and when their greatest threat was a group of mortals seeking to topple the gods. I even figured this out carrying Nico. He shook his head to clear his mind of the past and focus on the present. With another thought, the water began to roll beneath his feet, propelling him forward-

"And where the fuck do you think you're going?!" The nasally man cried. Bringing Percy to sudden stop.

Shit... He looked over his shoulder and gave the shoggoth-man-thing a sheepish grin. "Oh, my husband's not feeling good, so I thought I'd take him out for some fresh air. That, and it sounds like you could use a minute to yourself, sooooo..." He turned back and skated forward-

Only to see the redhead now standing at the end of the hall.

He quickly glanced over his shoulder and saw that there was in fact only one of the creature. That's quite the trick. Some form of shadow travel?

"You ain't go'n anywhere with that book, Percy," the redhead growled as he raised his hand. The gray flesh of his hand stretched and warped, the fingers losing their features and reverting to the inky flesh of a shoggoth. A tubular growth rose from the center of his palm until the skin ripped, revealing a silver-colored rectangle, which Percy was quick to realize was a phone of all things. The man's hand snapped back to normal like a rubber band, and a malicious grin ripped his right cheek open as he unlocked the phone. "Neither is Nico," the man laughed as he tapped on the screen once more.

"How do you know our names?" He asked, taking a step back and activating the Master Bolt. The powers of cyclops-forged divine weapons creating what felt like strong magnetic field as their Celestial Bronze components touched.

"What?!" The monstrous stranger cried, frantically tapping on the phone's screen. His thumb splitting into a twisting bundle of tentacles for unparalleled button mashing.

"I said how do you know our names?!" Percy demanded as electricity arced across the body of the Master Bolt and up his arm.

A third eye replaced the redhead's right ear such that he could observe both the phone and Percy and Nico. "You two should be falling over dead!" The monster in human skin shrieked in rage as the phone's screen began to crack from the rapid barrage. "The boss' signal can't be-" All three of stranger's eyes snapped wide open, followed by dozens more across the entirety of his body. And all of the glowing orbs swelled to the verge of bursting when their pupils landed on the demigods' wrists.

At the same time, a chill ran down Percy's spine. Not out of fear or even from being disturbed by the grotesque sight of flesh bubbling and tearing itself apart, but from an eons old name brought to the forefront of his mind by the stranger's actions and the utterance of a single word. He looked down at the white, nondescript bracelet on his remaining arm and uttered, "Avalon..."

The multi-eyed monstrosity's eyes widened, some even ripping causing a foul purple and black mixture to gush from the damaged sockets. It took a step back, only for its right leg to collapse on itself- sending the Argus-like humanoid falling to the floor. In mid-fall, its flesh shifted once more, flipping vertically so that its head replaced its legs so that it landed on its feet. "Where did you two get those bracelets?" The redhead snarled as dagger-like tusks erupted from its jaw.

Percy narrowed his eyes and studied the human features of the creature; growing more certain by the moment that this was not the first time they had met. "A prick that called himself Merlin," he stated in an emotionless, even tone. "Who I'm going to bet was your boss," he added, raising a brow.

The redhead clenched its jaw so tight that the flesh melded together, as the blood vessels in eyes burst. Its jaw moved as if to speak, but whatever it tried to say was muffled by the gray skin that had replaced its lips. The inability to speak only enraged it further, and it transformed the entirety of its right hand into a chunk of razor-sharp bone. In one fluid motion, it sliced its mouth open with the makeshift blade. "You- THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" It roared, black ooze pouring down its face.

"I have a hard time believing that," Percy shot back, skating back a couple feet. "I mean, I don't even know who you-"

The redhead's bladed-limb shot forward, the shoggoth flesh having an unparalleled elasticity that allowed it cross the distance between them, but Percy dashed backwards as fast as the water would carry him and at the same time struck the oncoming limb with a bolt of lightning. The world exploded in a blinding, white light, followed by the nauseating stench of burnt rubber and ozone filling the air.

"Sorry, Neeks," he mumbled as rapidly blinked to clear the spots from his eyes. Once his vision cleared, he was rewarded with the sight of the charred remains of the shoggoth-man's arm lying lifeless (though are shoggoths technically alive?) on the floor. However, his relief faded immediately when he realized that there was no body attached to the severed limb. "Shi-" The only warning Percy received was a flicker in the shadows to his right, causing him to raise his prosthetic arm up just in time to block the lash from a clawed tentacle.

"My name is Brian Bender!" The redhead screamed as his new limb latched onto Celestial Bronze. The razor-sharp tips of the black claws causing the plates of divine metal to buckle and bend under the intense pressure. "And you're going to be screaming it until the end of time!"

Percy froze the water beneath his feet as he struggled to free his arm from the psychotic redhead's grasp. "Sorry, but I'm happily married," he shot back through clenched teeth, his shoulder plate pulling away from his body and revealing the golden threads that connected the arm to his nerves. "Plus, tentacle monsters are not my type!"

"Not your-" The former Avalon stooge repeated before scores of black, bony spine exploded from his back as he unleashed a primal scream. "FUCKING FAGGOTS!" The furious Brian bellowed as the spines elongated and lost their rigidness; becoming another set of barbed limbs not unlike the tail of a scorpion.

"Ah, shit..." He groaned as the newly grown appendages flexed in preparation to strike. It seemed like most of the members of Avalon, Brian was not a fan of sass. And if he didn't do something quick he wasn't going to walk away with a limp and the inability to write in cursive. "Neeks, I REALLY need you to pull yourself together right now!" He pleaded as he dropped the son of Hades to the ground. At the same time, a wall of ice rose between them and Brian. The barrier was hardly more than a few millimeters thick and stood no chance in blocking the deadly assault, let alone damage the black mass crushing his arm. But that wasn't the wall's purpose. He just needed a single moment hidden from sight. "Neeks!"

Percy releases his hold on the Master Bolt and his heart stopped as the bronze cylinder fell through the pulsating tentacles that were destroying his arm. If an eye spouted on the limb or the divine weapon touched the Stygian flesh his hastily formed plan would fail, as there wasn't a doubt in his mind that Brian wouldn't snatch the weapon out of the air.

The cylinder cleared the last of the redhead's monstrous limbs just as the lance-like protrusions exploded through the wall of ice; shattering it to a million pieces.

Fu- His own thoughts were drowned out by an explosion of white light and deafening thunder, and he knew that his gamble had paid off. An arm wrapped around his waist, and pushed him into the familiar coolness of the shadows; a half-mad grin forming before they reemerged into the real world. Gods, I love you, Nico!

Still blinded by the blast of lightning, Percy jumped to his feet and quickly pulled Nico upright. To his relief, the son of Hades was still breathing (though still labored), and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

"Per- Percy," Nico choked out. "That g-guy-" he retched and would have collapsed if Percy didn't hold him. "He's-"

"MOTHER FUCKER!"

"Still alive," he sighed, wondering what it was going to take to send the shoggoth-hybrid back to the void. "Got it..."

"N-No!" The son of Hades protested, only to start gagging once more.

Percy blinked twice and his vision cleared (definitely going to need some Lasik after today). He fully expected to see the survivor of their world poised for another attack, but instead was greeted with a welcome sight: Brian melded to the floor, his limbs ash, and much of his pseudo-clothing falling from his body like chunks of dead tree bark. "This will be just another moment," he smirked as he raised his Celestial Bronze hand (with some alarming creaks, pops, and groans).

"YOU THINK YOU CAN KILL ME?!" Brian screamed as his amorphous flesh began to shed his destroyed flesh and reform. "BECAUSE THIS IS NOTH-" A torrent of swirling water shot down his throat.

"Would you just shut up?" He sighed as he willed the water within Brian to rapidly expand by opening his palm.

Brian's throat, cheeks, and terrified eyes bulged as the water tried to force its way out through the limited routes Percy allowed. The Avalon stooge (who he swore was looking more familiar by the second) twisted and morphed his flesh in a vain attempt to dispel the water, even going as far as creating another mouth on his neck, but Percy countered every change. A mixture of blood, mucus, and water began to seep from his eye sockets. His jaw unhinged like a serpent, which the son of Poseidon used to his advantage by blasting it off with a sudden increase in pressure. The back of his head swelled up until it took on Cephalopod-like proportions. Then Percy made a fist, and Brian's eyes were blasted from their sockets by two jets of water while his swollen head exploded like an overinflated balloon. The former human slouched forward, and collapsed into a puddle of black ooze.

"What were you saying about killing you?" Percy huffed as he surveyed the gelatinous mess with disgust. "Because-"

"You think that was enough to kill me?" A nasally voice scoffed from behind.

"Wow... Death by pressure," another sighed. "Haven't done that a million times already."

"And a head explosion," a third identical voice tsked.

"Somebody watched Scanners," another chuckled humorlessly.

From the shadows of the ruined pharaoh's tomb, four identical copies of the void-corrupted human emerged. All with their hands in their pockets and a bored expression on their faces. Three of them casually strolled across the hall towards the demigods while the remaining redhead approached the black puddle that had been him.

"Nico, you need to get us the fuck out of here," Percy hissed as he launched a lance of ice at the approaching Brians. The projectile impaled the chest of the centermost redhead, but to his horror, snake-like growths sprung from Brian and pushed the lance completely though without him breaking stride. "We need to get the fuck out of here NOW!" He cried, blindly firing a barrage of lances.

"Impalement," the leftmost Brian yawned.

"I'll just have to see how he likes it," the Brian on the right cackled.

"Just as soon as I figure out how you two are still alive," the center redhead sneered, as its hands turned into a pair of Stygian scythes. "And then I'm going to rip every ounce of moisture from your bodies in the slowest, most agonizing way I can before I-" Its jaw turned to ooze, falling to the floor with the rest of its body immediately following.

"Or not..." Percy gulped as the left and right Brians followed suit. What the Hades is this guy doing?

"What the fuck did you just do?!" The final Brian called out, fear creeping into his voice.

"Uh... That wasn't me," he responded, though he wished it was. "Neeks, did you-"

Nico fervently shook his head. His hands firmly clasped against his mouth.

"Don't fuck with me!" Brian screamed, his face turning as red as his hair. "I know you- AHH!" The former human's rants gave way to horrified screams as his body began to tear itself in two from just below his right shoulder all the way down to his hips. His screams grew louder as jagged fangs sprouted along the length of the growing gap, forcing the redhead to stagger about.

No clue what's happening, but I'm taking this opportunity! In one fluid motion, he scooped Nico up bridal-style and sprinted down the corridor as fast as his legs could carry him. The familiar pain in his right leg nonexistent thanks to the adrenaline coursing through his veins. "Feel free to shadow travel any time, Nico!" He cried as they entered the Lotus' main hall. "I-" He tripped over the air, and just barely managed to stop himself from falling- only to realize he was back in Ramses' Tomb at the bottom of ruined stairs. The remaining Brian standing frozen above them, his face twisted in terror and pain. "What the..."

"Oh, JuSt A sImPlE pArLoR tRiCk," the fanged maw that divided Brian said with a malicious chuckle that made Percy tremble. "BuT I cOuLn'T hAvE yOu LeAvInG jUsT yEt. NoT wHeN I wEnT tHrOuGh AlL tHiS wOrK tO sEt ThIs AlL uP..."