❛ As weak as your wording. You told me you're leaving like you don't have feelings. ❜

SEASON 1, EPISODE 11
formality

AFTER THE INCIDENT at the hospital, Willow hadn't talked to Stiles at all. She wasn't so much avoiding him as she was acting like he wasn't even there. Willow had been okay during their time together. They tried to figure out who had sent the text to Allison during their time trapped in school. She was able to get them out alive when they went to the hospital to learn that Peter Hale, presumed brain dead, was the Alpha. She even made it through the suffocating car ride back to her house and the talk of what she and Stiles were.

⠀⠀⠀Now, she just wanted to go back to how she had been living before Scott turned into a werewolf.

⠀⠀⠀Although as Laurel pulled into the mall parking lot, Willow realized she needed to get her head out of her problems and enjoy dress shopping for the formal.

⠀⠀⠀Willow and Bridgette had dates to the winter formal dance while Laurel was going to third-wheel along with Blair's step-brother. Laurel had never been a relationship person in any capacity so being on the outside was her preference. She had been knocking out invitations to go to the dance with classmates left and right.

⠀⠀⠀"I want to get a coffee first, then we can check out Macy's," Bridgette told her sisters as they walked into the mall. She held the door open for them and pushed her sunglasses up into her hair.

⠀⠀⠀"I think Macy's is having a sale, too," Willow commented, adjusting her purse on her shoulder.

⠀⠀⠀The mall was crowded as per usual for a Saturday afternoon. The sisters walked together as close as possible without losing each other in the crowd and made it to Starbucks, standing at the end of the long line.

⠀⠀⠀"Blair said her step-brother can pick us up from the house," Willow told her sisters. "So, if Marisol wants to meet us there, he has a van that can fit all of us."

⠀⠀⠀"I'll text her now," Bridgette nodded, turning to look at her phone.

⠀⠀⠀Willow may have been upset with Bridgette just a couple of days before. However, the sisters were good at one thing: avoiding the topic until it went away. Willow still held resentment toward her sister, and Bridgette still felt guilty for what they did, but the less they talked about it, the better it seemed to be.

⠀⠀⠀At least, that's how Willow felt. She never liked talking about her feelings or how other people's actions hurt her. It was just something she'd rather move on from.

⠀⠀⠀"How old is her step-brother?" Laurel asked curiously, raising an eyebrow.

⠀⠀⠀"He's a year above us. So, seventeen, I think," Willow said.

⠀⠀⠀The three took a step forward as the line moved.

⠀⠀⠀Bridgette pulled out a couple of papers from her purse and filtered through them as she pursed her lips. Willow rose an eyebrow when she noticed the odd behavior and tried to glance at them to see what was on them.

⠀⠀⠀"What are you looking at?" Willow asked.

⠀⠀⠀Bridgette snapped the pages back into her chest and smiled.

⠀⠀⠀"Our dresses," Bridgette explained, pulling the pages back out and handing one stack to Willow, one to Laurel, and kept the other to herself. "I've picked out a couple I think will work in our respective colors. Laurel's being purple because she's like royalty. Willow is teal because she's the most connected with the elements and nature. And, I'm pink because it's my favorite."

⠀⠀⠀Laurel raised an eyebrow.

⠀⠀⠀"And you've already picked everything?" Laurel asked. "Why are we here? We could've just sent you to pick them up."

⠀⠀⠀"No," Bridgette frowned, turning to look at Laurel with her puppy eyes. "I wanted to be sure that the style fits us all and even the colors. Maybe instead of jewel tones, we go for pastels or—"

⠀⠀⠀"This is making my head spin," Willow muttered, pressing her hand to the side of her face.

⠀⠀⠀"Don't we have dresses like this at home?" Laurel asked, turning the magazine clipping to show Bridgette. "We could've just worn those."

⠀⠀⠀Bridgette rolled her eyes.

⠀⠀⠀"Those are cocktail dresses, first of all. Second, they're not in dress code," Bridgette explained, her frown pulling down her features as she looked between her sisters. "And, third, why are you guys such party poopers?"

⠀⠀⠀Willow noticed the register open up for them, and she quickly darted to greet the cashier. She ordered her drink, Bridgette and Laurel following. They waited until their drinks were made and headed toward Macy's.

⠀⠀⠀"Okay, so we should start upstairs," Bridgette muttered to herself as she led the way to the escalators. "In the upper right corner because that's where the long dresses are, and then we'll move left with each dress we don't like."

⠀⠀⠀Willow looked to Laurel behind Bridgette's back, her eyes wide at their sister's attitude toward dress shopping. Laurel looked to Willow, rolled her eyes in response, and waved her hand dismissively.

⠀⠀⠀Bridgette went through the racks getting dresses and handing them off to Willow and Laurel. Once she had a set for all three of them, they'd go into the dressing room, change and stand in front of the mirror. Willow and Laurel were often happy with how the dresses looked, but Bridgette was never appeased. She'd be disconcerted by the hem or the sleeves or the neckline, and they'd have to find something else.

⠀⠀⠀It was exhausting until they finally, finally! Found dresses Bridgette was content with and in their price. Which finding dresses out of their price range had happened a few times that she'd get excited before being shot down when Laurel pointed out the cost.

⠀⠀⠀The dresses were just above the knee, with an inch-long sheer fabric peeking out beneath the skirt. They had a deep v-neck with straps and chiffon in the back. The colors were pastel and looked flattering on each of the girls.

⠀⠀⠀Willow handed her dress to Bridgette.

⠀⠀⠀"I have to run to the bathroom," Willow explained. "I'll meet you guys at the registers."

⠀⠀⠀Bridgette nodded, and she and Laurel walked ahead while Willow turned around toward the bathrooms through the perfume department.

⠀⠀⠀Willow noticed him before he noticed her. Stiles was standing at one of the perfume kiosks, fiddling with a sample bottle in his hand. Willow wanted to try and get around him without him noticing, but when he suddenly sprayed the perfume into his open mouth, she couldn't help but let out a laugh.

⠀⠀⠀Stiles fumbled for a second, shaking his head in disgust, and stuck his tongue out as he shook his head to try and rid himself of both the taste and the smell. He squinted his eyes, rubbing them with his thumbs before blearily turning to look at her.

⠀⠀⠀"Willow!" he suddenly exclaimed, and Willow forgot she had been trying to avoid him, now trapped in a conversation with him. "Hey, um, hey, I need to ask you something, and don't worry!" Stiles said quickly. He walked to stand in front of her but kept a distance about a foot apart from them. "I heard you the other night, and I want to respect your boundaries, but it's about Scott—well, werewolves—well, Derek."

⠀⠀⠀"What about him?" Willow asked.

⠀⠀⠀"He's missing," Stiles told her, and she frowned.

⠀⠀⠀The last Willow had seen of him was at the hospital where both she and Stiles had been put in the middle of his and Peter's fight. They left him there, and Willow thought he was okay, but it didn't seem like it.

⠀⠀⠀"After we left the hospital, I guess Peter convinced Derek that he was a good guy?" Stiles continued to explain. Willow was reassured, somewhat, that she hadn't just left him for dead. "I don't really get it, but, y'know, it doesn't really matter right now. Derek's missing, and Scott can't find his phone, and we were wondering if you think Laurel world be able to do that rock thing to try and find him again?"

⠀⠀⠀"It's a pendulum," Willow told him.

⠀⠀⠀"Pendulum," Stiles repeated after her to try and lock it in his head.

⠀⠀⠀"And I'm not sure, but I'll ask—"

⠀⠀⠀"Excuse me, Weird Sister," Lydia suddenly said, appearing behind Willow.

⠀⠀⠀Willow turned to look at Lydia, eyes wide from her interruption of their serious conversation without a care in the world. Her nose was up-turned, and she smirked in her direction. Her green eyes trailed from her and then to Stiles, smoothing her smirk into a flirtatious grin.

⠀⠀⠀"You and me are going to the dance," Lydia told Stiles point-blank. "Wear something nice...r than what you're wearing now. Pick me up at seven."

⠀⠀⠀"U-Uh, what?" Stiles asked, wide-eyed and confused, staring at Lydia like he had misheard her.

⠀⠀⠀Lydia suddenly scowled, narrowing her eyebrows to show her annoyance from having to repeat herself to him. She let out a sigh, rolling her eyes to the back of her head, and slumped her shoulders before perking up again.

⠀⠀⠀"Will you go to the Winter Formal with me?" Lydia asked him, smiling again, her eyes sparkling in the LED lights.

⠀⠀⠀"Y-Yes, I'd love to, yes, yes," Stiles exclaimed, grinning ear to ear.

⠀⠀⠀"Great," Lydia concluded. "Help me pick a dress?" she asked, turning away before she could even get a response.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, I'll, um, I'll be right there," Stiles assured her.

⠀⠀⠀Stiles turned to Willow with a cocky little expression on his face. He looked at Willow, his expression saying, 'I also got a date to the formal.' However, Willow's jealousy (the one she still blamed on lingering effects of the sachet) grappled with her heart and ripped it out of her chest. It sat between them as Stiles kept pressing his foot into it without realizing it.

⠀⠀⠀Willow took a step back, Stiles talking, but she wasn't listening. Didn't want to listen. She didn't want to hear how he finally managed to get his dream girl, that she had always been his second choice. She already knew it. She just never wanted to see it come to fruition.

⠀⠀⠀Willow could feel the tears in her eyes, the lack of anything in her chest, and she pulled in a small breath to try and keep herself in the present. She reminded herself that this shouldn't even matter anymore. She and a pretty girl who actually liked her were going on a date together. She was tired of feeling like this. Jealous, upset, angry. She was tired of it. All of it.

⠀⠀⠀Willow pressed her thumb into the corner of her eye to try and make it not evident that she was near tears and said, "I have to pee."

⠀⠀⠀She ran off, able to make it into the women's restroom. No one was inside as she turned the corner from the small resting area to the stalls. The door behind her opened, and she took in a deep breath as she looked in the mirror. It had been noticeable.

⠀⠀⠀"Willow!" Stiles called, jogging into the bathroom. He stood at one end of the mirror while Willow stood at the other. They could both see each other in the mirror, but Willow wasn't willing to turn to look at him. "What's—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude about it."

⠀⠀⠀Willow let out a small chuckle, rolling her eyes as she turned to look at him. She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the tile and letting her head hit the tile as well, so she was looking down her nose at him. For a moment, she wished Peter would come barreling out of the ceiling tiles to get her out of this conversation.

⠀⠀⠀"You don't ever mean it," Willow told him, a small smirk coming to her lips.

⠀⠀⠀"What is—What is that supposed to mean?" Stiles asked, taking a few steps toward her.

⠀⠀⠀Willow rolled her eyes, standing straight as her face relaxed into annoyance.

⠀⠀⠀"Are you really that dense?" she asked him.

⠀⠀⠀"Wha—?"

⠀⠀⠀"Stiles," Willow said, stressing his name for him to realize how stupid and idiotic she thought all of this was. Having to explain this to him felt like she was ripping out a piece of herself to show him what he had done. "You and Lydia."

⠀⠀⠀"What about me and Lydia?" Stiles asked, furrowing his brows. "She asked me to formal. Can't you be happy for me? I'm happy for you."

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, my God," Willow muttered, running her hands down her face and began pacing the small space between the sink and the closest stall. "Oh, my God. I really have to explain this to you," she sighed.

⠀⠀⠀"Explain what?"

⠀⠀⠀"You have always been in love with Lydia!" Willow exclaimed, throwing her hand toward the door.

⠀⠀⠀"That's not really something new," Stiles said under his breath.

⠀⠀⠀Willow's eyes widened, pulling her lips into her mouth to keep herself from screaming, but a small, strangled sound still escaped. Stiles looked at her like she had just started break dancing in the middle of their argument, and she felt like her head was going to explode.

⠀⠀⠀"Do you not remember that we dated?" Willow asked him, standing toe to toe with him now. "Did you forget between now and the last time I told you we weren't dating anymore? Saying that doesn't take away the fact that we did, Stiles."

⠀⠀⠀"What? I, um... what?" Stiles asked, looking beyond confused as he held his hands up and took a step back. "I didn't forget."

⠀⠀⠀"Stiles, you've always been in love with Lydia. Ever since you were a kid, even when you were with me," Willow stated, her voice growing hoarse as she continued. "That's why I broke up with you."

⠀⠀⠀"That's not, that's not true. I liked you, I liked you a lot. When you dumped me, I didn't know—" Stiles said, his eyes getting glossy before they narrowed and he looked absolutely stunned by her response like he didn't fully believe it. "That was why? That was why you broke up with me?"

⠀⠀⠀"God, you act like this is something new! Like you've only developed this obsessive little crush in the past year since we broke up!" Willow exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "Stiles, I broke my heart loving you."

⠀⠀⠀"Will," Stiles muttered, reaching his hand to touch her, but she backed away. "Willow, please, let me—"

⠀⠀⠀"Stiles, I don't want you to explain what it was like for you. I don't want you to tell me that you liked me or even loved me. I don't want to hear that you've been crying every night since we broke up because I left you. All I want is some recognition on your part that you were the problem. Not me. Not my life, including the supernatural part of it. You. It's always been you."

⠀⠀⠀"Me?" Stiles replied, and Willow was a little shocked that he snapped back at her. "Willow, I get it. You're hurt, and I did a shitty thing that I never meant to do but Jesus, look at yourself."

⠀⠀⠀"Look at me?" Willow asked, holding her hand to her chest.

⠀⠀⠀"Well, shit, Willow, maybe if you told me how you were feeling instead of bottling it all up, we wouldn't be living in this constant back and forth of 'why'd we break up,'" Stiles explained, throwing his hands out to his sides.

⠀⠀⠀"Why do I have to let you know what was bothering me about Lydia?" Willow asked. "You—"

⠀⠀⠀"Willow, I'm not a mind reader!" Stiles shouted, pointing his hand up at his head. "I wouldn't just know that!"

⠀⠀⠀"You didn't know you had a crush on Lydia while we were dating?!"

⠀⠀⠀"No, I was too freaking busy worried about my girlfriend, who was the hottest person to even acknowledge me and wanted to date me, too! I thought we were doing good, but you started growing distant," Stiles replied, scowling.

⠀⠀⠀"Why didn't you ask?"

⠀⠀⠀"OH MY GOD!" Stiles exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "Willow, you never talked about your life! You never talked about your sisters outside of school, your parents, nothing! I'd been to your house a few times to study, and we somehow always missed your parents being home. How do I ask my girlfriend who can barely tell me on a good day how she's feeling or how her home life is why she's pulling away from me."

⠀⠀⠀"I can't do this anymore," Willow said, not even acknowledging his last statement, and started to walk out of the bathroom.

⠀⠀⠀"Because you know I'm right," Stiles told her, not turning around. "I'm more than happy to tell you I'm sorry. That I never wanted to hurt you and realize now that this petty little childhood crush I've had on Lydia might have poisoned it. But you let it taint the relationship. We might've been able to save it. Maybe we couldn't. But at least we wouldn't be here."

⠀⠀⠀Willow formed her hands into fists, nails digging into the palms of her hands. She stormed out, not giving him another chance to talk but a million thoughts inside of her head. And they were wondering if Stiles was right.

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

Hello, this is later than I normally post on Sundays but I was not feeling it earlier today. But I knew I wanted to post this today because the Tension and Angst please I've been waiting for this and the finale to be honest.

Guys, a week and a half and act one will be finished! We'll be in Act Two / Season Two where a lot happens. :) I'm excited but I don't think you should be. Especially for that finale tho... but I shouldn't hint too much!

SONG: Safe From Heartbreak (If I Never Fall in Love) by Wolf Alice

Thank you for reading! Leave comments telling me your thoughts on this chapter, but however you interact, know that I really appreciate you reading. I hope you enjoy, and until the next one.