"JONAH! JONAH!" Yelled Adam Murray as both of them walked through the generic white void. The blonde guy looked really pissed off as usual. As he looked around the bland white background they called home now. "Jonah, where the honest hell are we? And why is our van out of gas? We gotta get going to that woman's house."

Jonah Marshall, the silver-haired guy who looked like emo Baijeet turned to Adam with a smile as he ate the chips he had brought with him.

"First off, where in the void. A place where nothing exists except us, our van, and COCAINER!" Jonah said as he shamelessly devoured the Doritos. "And second, I think we forgot to get gas while we were in the regular place with actual life and trees because the author was too lazy to make the setting. So yeah, we're kinda screwed."

Adam sighed as he rubbed his face with his hands. Jonah was quite delusional when he made such a preposterous proclamation. "Damn it, Jonah! I thought I told you to remind me to get gas and snacks! And what's 'cocainer?"" He walked around, bags under his eyes as he looked up at the plain white sky. He sounded more pissed than usual now. "Now we're stuck in the void, nowhere else to go! And my mom is missing and we're going to lose a bunch of money because we didn't show up at her house! DAMN IT!"

Jonah simply laughed, "Not my fault Evelin left yo- OW! OH GOD IT HURTS! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

Adam slapped the back of Jonah's head as hard as he could. The blonde sounded even MORE pissed as he did it. A loud thwack echoed across the room. Adam didn't hesitate, he just SLAPPED THE SH#T out of Jonah!

"That's for being a little sh#t for no reason!" Adam yelled as he groaned. He couldn't believe that his best friend would go that low for no reason! He knew he was a no-nonsense type of guy while Jonah's... Well, Jonah. But he couldn't let such d#ckishness to even manifest. Especially from Jonah. "Not cool Jonah! Not cool at all! I won't insult you for your failed relationships! So why are you doing that to me? I don't get it."

"Skill issue," Jonah mumbled as they looked at each other. Jonah looked like he got bummed out. He thought he was making a good joke! Sarah did that joke ALL the time! Why can't he?! "You know, I'm gonna get into the van. I want to listen to some freakin' Weezer. You do you Adam."

Adam sighed as he nodded. "Whatever Jonah, you do you." He said back, he sat down on the floor and pulled out some whiskey to drink. He was tired, really tired. He was still thinking and thinking about Evelin. Why? Why did Adam leave her out? Why did he decide to be such a d#ck? Adam didn't know, no matter how many times he thought it was right

Adam just started chugging the whiskey while the house-building song played in the background. He ignored everything. Just chug the alcohol, Adam thought. Chug it down so you can stop thinking about her. There's totally no way something bad is going to happen whatsoever. Totally no way some random people he never knew are gonna show up a-

"おい！ あなたは誰ですか?" Yelled out some weird distant figure、 he sounded terrifying、 his annoying child-like voice making things worse. His straw hat was giving Adam PTSD.

Adam immediately jumped up in a sudden feeling of shock as he threw the bottle of Dollar Store Jack Daniels at the figure.

"Bro go away!" Adam yelled, he felt tipsy, but not completely drunk. He sounded enraged, his face turning into a fearful scowl. Oh God no, it was real. The worst thing to ever happen to him was finally here... It's the thing Adam dreaded, more than anything else. It was the worst thing known to man: ANIME?!

The certain figure right in front of poor Adam was Monkey D. Luffy (THAT'S RACIST!) The main awful and poorly written protagonist of the long abomination known as One Piece. Who was a filthy pirate who wanted to be king or something?!

Adam started shaking in his boots. Knowing that he's now looking at his nightmare. He always hated anime. It looked like degenerate cartoons for people who were freaks to watch. Adam narrowed his eyes, feeling like he was going to throw up.

"Oh GOD NO! Leave me alone! I F#CKING CAN'T DO THIS NOW!" Adam yelled, his voice increasing into shouting as he quickly backed off. "You suck! Everyone from your anime sucks! Everything about you sucks! Why won't you leave me alone?!"

Luffy laughed his classic annoying laugh. It hurts Adam's ear as he continues to cackle.

"ああ、本当にアダム？残念な！お腹が空きました！たべものをください!" Luffy yelled out. His voice booming as he looked... pissed?

"Speak ENGLISH DAMN IT! I DON'T UNDERSTAND JAPANESE!" Adam yelled, he never felt this pissed in his life. He couldn't believe it. As Luffy tried to do anything to make him watch his bullsh#t show! The weird dances of the rubber man pissed Adam off even more.

"Dude f#cking quit!" Adam said out of an autistic rage. He felt his mind almost breaking as he heard the stupid sh#t Luffy was telling him. "I ALREADY TOLD YOU! I don't watch anime! I never f#cking will! Shut up!"

Adam immediately stopped as he quickly turned his head around to see what was happening. He jumped back in surprise as he found out that several weird and disgusting anime characters surrounded him.

Deku, Jotaro Kujo, Naruto, a bunch of disgusting anime femboys, Sasuke, as well all the annoying Evas. And the worst of all, GOKU surrounded him. All with creepy smiles and saying random Japanese words Adam didn't understand. He felt his stomach rising from the pizza he ate for lunch.

But then Jotaro and Goku, as well as everyone else began to say The same thing repeatedly "ほら、肉をh#ntaiに叩きましょう!" They kept saying that same damn thing over and over again. Causing Adam to lose it.

He started sweating, his eyes darting around everywhere. Oh God he's also surrounded like he was in one of those gay anime videos.

He had no choice... He didn't want to do this. But he had no other choice. He had to depend on the closest person he had left...

"JONAH! JONAH HELP! I'M SURROUNDED BY STUPID ANIME CHARACTERS WHO WANT ME TO WATCH P#RN! HELP! PLEASE JONAH I NEED HELP! OH GOD NO!"

Adam continued to scream as loud as he could. Feeling super pissed as he calmly said "All of you inhuman freaks are the God damn same. You're just so annoying!"

"Oh really?" Luffy said, (OH GOD HE SPEAKS ENGLISH NOW!) "Please join us, Adam... Anime is great! It's people's childhood!"

That made Adam's mind, heart, and soul break. He felt like the world would snap in two like America under current-day politics.

He remembered everything. His mother, and his father. He squinted his eyes as he lost it. The blonde Twinkie showed his true gay boy rage with the power of an alternate on ketamine!

"GET THE F#CK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Adam yelled as loudly as he could. Not caring that this was not his house. The anger sounds destructive. The secret alternates M.A.D causing all the anime characters to scream in terror and unalive themselves.

Naruto died of a heart attack. Deku passed out due to the dehydration he got from crying. Superman and Hulk came out of nowhere and murdered Goku. All the femboys spontaneously combusted after hearing Adam accidentally mumble rapping Bible quotes. And Luffy got sent to hell to watch the long awful show he was in.

The Evas tried to kill Adam, only for the jester audiobook to play. Causing them to implode because they were no longer heroes of the story. Sasuke tried to use his ninja powers but instead, he tripped and died because of how stupid he ran. (Humans were not made to naruto run, a caveman could run better than Naruto characters!)

The white background that the animators were too lazy to get done turned into blood as Adam's rage turned the cringe Anime characters into blood stains. And the worst thing is that Adam lost his only bottle of whiskey... Adam continued to scream incoherently as he heard another stupid anime song.

Adam stood there, roasting himself. Telling himself this: "NO ONE LOVES YOU! UR DAD SAID BYE-BYE WITH THE MILK AND UR MOM LTGED HERSELF LMAO!"

Adam just collapsed on the floor, the blonde crying himself out. His face scrunched up as he cradled himself into the fetal position.

"Jonah! JONAH!" Adam said, screaming out for help. "Please, Jonah! Come out of the damn van! I need you to hug me or something!"

Sadly, Jonah wouldn't come back for a while. Adam continued to cuddle himself like a stupid goofy ahh Quandale Dingle lore video. Just scolding himself as he didn't know... Jonah was busy... with someone else.

If you thought Jonah didn't have problems of his own. You were so, so wrong. At the same time, Adam was confronting his unlikely demons. Jonah was in the van. He was sitting in the back of the equipment, eating chips and listening to Weezer. It was a peaceful poggers thing to spend your lifetime.

He continued to eat chips as he leaned back on the side of the van. He was scrolling on the Internet in his sh#tty little Gameboy. Apparently, everyone was talking about how gay anime is or something. Jonah didn't know, he was drinking cocainer so he didn't care.

Until he heard the radio crackle to life, that is. It sounded like a loud jerk as it made a big boom like a Michael Bay movie. Its voice gives Jonah M.AD every time it speaks.

"YOU THOUGHT IT WAS THE GUY YOU LEFT BEHIND, BUT IT WAS ME DIO!"

Jonah jumped out of his seat. His whole entire demeanor changed as he looked at the radio. His eyes widened in terror, his body shaking like you after eating a Popeyes biscuit with no drink. The silver-haired boy looked around the van. His breath is heavier than Nickacado Avocado and EDP445 at the same time.

"Uhh, who is that?" Jonah asked, shaking a little bit. He felt intimidated by this, his face turned white as he stared into the radio. "Why do you sound like Dio Brando from JoJo?"

"BECAUSE I AM DIO BRANDO FROM THE HIT ANIME ABOUT GAY BUFF PEOPLE JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE!" DIO yelled as he jumped off the radio! He has been sneaking into random people's radios ever since he found out about Thomas and Friends [Redacted] exists as he jumped above Jonah.

The vampire looked big, and buff. He was wearing a very unstraight outfit with weird black nails. The vampire cackled, licking his lips at Jonah as he walked closer to him. Jonah didn't know what to do. He started shaking in his boots like a little b#tch or Digbar after looking at four big guys.

"Uhh, what do you want from me anyway?" Jonah asked as he snatched some of his leftover cocainer. He looked in the van for anything. Anything to beat up DIO with, mainly an instrument

"Please don't kill me! I didn't do anything wrong! Sure, I hacked a person's computer, filled their hard drive with anime CP (Cheese Pizza), And called them Cyraxx, but I am TOTALLY 42069% honest here! I didn't do anything wrong! Trust me, dude!"

DIO laughed the laugh of villains. The buff vampire cackled to himself as he walked closer to Jonah. His stand, The World got summoned as he spoke, licking his tongue WAY too much to be considered normal.

"Oh REALLY NOW JONAH? I heard otherwise!" DIO yelled, the vampire showed his fangs. "I SAW YOUR INTERNET HISTORY! WHY WAS IT FILLED WITH WEEZER MEMES?"

Jonah widens his eyes as the Weezer guitar riff plays. His eyes turned all big and stressed out in a cartoonish way.

"How did you FIND OUT ABOUT MY INTERNET HISTORY?!" Jonah said he used NORDVPN! How did DIO know his Internet history? "I used EVERY VPN in existence! How did you break in?"

"BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS NORDVPN, BUT IT WAS ME, DIOVPN!"

"Bro, that's not funny!" Jonah said he seemed pissed as he almost snapped like Adam. "That meme is as dead as Adam's mom! You really ARE stupid! You have fewer brain cells than Patrick Star! You look like a preteen girl's simp bait, your father enjoys watching the show 'Mark and Cesar's Yaoi Fusion' and your mother is a f#cking optical illusion. You're jacket looked like the sniper from TF2 pissed on it, 'OI MATE! HERE'S MY JARARTE!' Like nah nah bro you can't be judging my internet history when you be out here looking a s#xual devient."

DIO widens his eyes, Wait he found out WHAT?! DIO thought, as his stand, The World showed up out of nowhere to torture Jonah or something. DIO looked all red like the Soviet Union's flag. His hands were clenched as he yelled.

"Dude, what you say? That ain't family-friendly! You really shouldn't be like that Jonah 'emo Baijeet' Marshall!"

"Oh come on! That's not funn-" Jonah immediately got interrupted by DIO freezing time itself using ZA WARDO! Or something like that. Time itself froze within minutes. Causing Jonah to stop and cease. DIO cackled as he approached Jonah. He moved the chairs, he kicked all the misc objects, and he even said he was gonna do the unfunny dance from hell!

DIO laughed as he went closer to the silver-haired boy in front of him. Jonah looked like he had just seen the first episode of One Piece. All the color out of his skin, his hands were shaking as he stared at the suspicious vampire guy. DIO went closer to muda the sh#t out of Jonah, only for him to stop as he heard a familiar voice out from the radio...

"You reached the Bythorne Paranormal Society, how may I help you?" said... Adam Murray?! ADAM MURRAY? But Adam was dead! DIO thought, how is that possible? Adam was being dealt with by the other characters in the D.A.D (Devious Anime D#ckheads) organization. Not to on the radio roasting DIO!

"WHAT? NANI!" DIO said as he looked over, only to see Jonah wearing sunglasses. And playing GUITAR?! HOW IS JONAH PLAYING GUITAR IN TIME STOP?! DIO got confused, his whole well-being went downhill as he heard Jonah playing the SICKEST guitar riff?! His fingers were like gold as he maneuvered through the strings of the guitar. His riff was sick as DIO just paused... Jonah continued to rip the whole van using the guitar music. DIO tried to attack, only for his bad leg to get hit by a more powerful stand: Dollar Store Jack Daniels!

DIO yelled in pain, oh the PAIN! He stopped as he turned to... ADAM?! Adam stood there, depressed apparently, the alternate chuckled like a maniac as Jonah's guitar continued to play.

"It's over weeb scum!" Adam yelled as he pulled out the shotgun, Adam had lost it. "I will destroy all of you! For the crimes you've committed in this world! You will perish!"

DIO tries to kill Adam, as he madly laughs. His stand tries to hit the blonde dude. Only for Adam to pump the 10. Gauge and put DIO out of his misery. The gun exploded DIO, to bits. The sound of his screaming is still in the BPS's ears to this day.

"NOOOOOO!" DIO yelled as his bits disappeared. "HOW DARE YOOOOUUUUUUU DO THAT TO ME?!"

Adam collapsed on the floor again, his hands trembling. He finally defeated DIO, found out he was not a human, but an alternate, and FINALLY canceled one piece. He won, I guess.

"Jonah... why didn't you come to save me?" Adam asked.

Jonah just put away the epic electric guitar and looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't come to help me when Luffy and his band of disgusting cronies made me snap," Adam stated bluntly. His voice cracked "Why dude? I was screaming your name and you were just... Just listening to WEEZER and getting scared of some stupid gay vampire!"

Jonah just sat down next to his blonde friend and wrapped an arm around him while doing the last of his COCAINER! A stupid smile on his face, he didn't care about the past. He only wanted to comfort his strange friend who may or may not be a psychopath who liked Dollar Tree booze.

"Well, WHO CARES?! What matters is that we're alive! We have Weezer and the power of friendship. And that's the only thing that matters!"

Adam sighed and shook his head, "Damn it, Jonah, you're one crazy person."

"HEY! At least I don't drink bootleg Jack Daniels!" Jonah, accused, as he pulled out some cherry Pepsi to drink. "Wait, where's Evelin and Sarah?"

What both of the BPS bois didn't know is that Sarah Heathcliff (the third member of the Bythorne Paranormal Society) and Evelin Miller (the girl who left Adam lmao) were dealing with their issues of their own. Big, big problems. And the animators didn't use a basic white background this time!

It's about 4:20 A.M. at Evelin's house, the outside of Mandela County looks dark and depressing like America under Woodrow Wilson's presidency. Both of them ate Jimmy John's sandwiches since it was the only sandwich shop open in this forsaken county. And not only that, but everyone was singing Digbar songs for some reason. Creeping both of them the hell off, but hey! At least they weren't a failure like Richard Nixon.

Sarah was sitting near the edge of the couch, eating a sub that tasted like mouthwash in your eyes and looking at her picture of her dead brother Mark Heathcliff. She felt tears in her eyes as she remembered, remembered the times of her brother not being dead for once. Today would've been his thirteenth birthday. He could have been happy and healthy, having a decent job and possibly a wife! But we can not have nice things, do we?

"You know," Evelin said, munching the sandwich in her mouth. A frown on her face. "This sandwich sucks! It tastes like sandpaper and Adam's dollar generic brand whiskey!"

Sarah looked at her with a stern look as she always did when Adam or Jonah said something stupid. "Uhh duh, what do you expect from Jimmy John's? I wish subway was open at 3 a.m." She mumbled, going back to looking at Mark's picture, rubbing the glass with her thumb as she continued to sob. "I wish he was still alive. Those absolute scumba-"

"Adam?" Evelin interrupted, she looked at pitch black darkness at the corner. Sarah looked at her, an eyebrow raised while 'Adam' spoke.

"老哥打開，電気をつける！ドアを開ける!" 'Adam' spoke, sounding different than normal.

Sarah raised both of her eyebrows as she got up. Mark's ghost must have been there because Sarah was using her Second Amendment rights as she pulled out her M1918 Browing Automatic Rifle (BAR) and aimed it at the source of the sound.

"What do you me-"

"打开灯!" 'Adam' shouted, rudely interrupting Evelin.

Evelin just obeyed, turning on the light. But she immediately regretted doing that afterward. She jumped away in horror as she looked at the most inferior thing ever.

"ADAM WHAT IS THAT?!" She yelled out in horror.

What stood there, cornering the two women (WOMEN REAL?! CHAT WHAT IS THIS?) Was three anime characters. All of them look straight at them. On the left side was Hol Horse, who was eating nothing but Swedish Fish because he's based (Hol Horse is the only good anime character besides Lupin III, trust me!) Next to him was Nami, the disgusting weirdo character from that hellspawn known as One Piece. Cackling at them with the malice of the wicked witch of the west or the mailman. The other one, the most evil of them all besides Monkey D. Luffy (again, RACIST!) Was Bakugo, an angry thing bootleg from the show My Internet hi- I mean MY HERO ACADEMIA!

They all stood there, torturing the two female homies of the BPS for a while. But not until Sarah, being the hardcore feminist that she was. Opened fire at all three of them, the bullets hitting them all in their heads. Nami died on impact and was forced to watch the abomination she came from in HELL! Hol Horse got shot but didn't die, he just chilled while Bakugo blew up into a million pieces as he suffered the might of true might of AMERICAN firepower!

As the dust settled, both of the women stared at the ceiling. Evelin cried her eyes out while Sarah silently enjoyed her victory over the filthy anime characters. Peace was in the world again. For now, that is, D.A.D (Devious Anime D#ckheads) were still going to go after them sure. But at least the Bythrone Paranormal Society will go after them. They always will, and hell HOL HORSE JOINED BPS! LET'S F@KING GO!

The End (Hol Horse based!)