september 2018 : 2 years ago

"Can I walk you to class?" Lily asked him, peering over the rim of her travel mug as they got up from their table at Starbucks. They were back in their routine of meeting up there in the mornings now that school had started again. "I wanna say hi to Izzy."

Although Liam wasn't obligated to stay in this music ensemble class this semester, he didn't see any real reason not to. It was enjoyable, gave him a chance to see the friends he'd made, and didn't actually require much more piano practice outside of school than he was already doing.

Lils probably thought that she was being sneakier than she was, but he knew her well. He was attuned to all her various tones by now, so it didn't slip past him that she was purposefully keeping her voice neutral. On top of all of this, he was aware of what kinds of things Izzy liked to chat about. She wasn't the most well-versed in the art of subtlety.

"Are you sure you don't have any ulterior motives?" he teased.

Lily admitted defeat with a small yet overly dramatic huff. "Fine. It is possible that I'm curious to see if the so-called hot professor is as easy on the eyes as his Instagram would make him out to be. Sue me."

Liam took the last sip of his overpriced coffee and wrinkled his nose. "...His Instagram?"

"It's not my fault he's not on private," Lily defended herself but was already starting to grin at her own ridiculousness. "Blame Izzy, she showed me."

They were met by unseasonably cool air when they stepped outside to walk to the music building. That wasn't to say it was anywhere near cold – sometimes it stayed consistently warm all the way through October – but summer was flirting with the idea of fall today. Low-hanging clouds blanketed the sky like a smoke sheen, hovering menacingly and taunting the earth with the possibility of downpour later, but for now it was that pleasant variety of breezy weather that made you want to stay outside instead of going to class.

He looked over at her when she reached for his hand and tangled her fingers between his. Lily had an infectious vibrancy to her when in a cheery mood and well-caffeinated (the former not usually achievable without the latter) and seeing her happy made him happy, too. Engulfed in an oversized cocoa-colored cardigan that matched her eyes, she looked so comfy that he was almost jealous. A section of her hair was pinned back with a little diamond barrette he had never seen before. She claimed she didn't like how her hair looked pulled up, but ever since he attempted to braid it for her he watched her slowly find the confidence to at least clip it out of her face if it was being an inconvenience so that she wasn't constantly reaching to tuck it behind her ear.

"Maybe I would stare at your Instagram pictures if you would get one," she smiled at him, her eyes twinkling with a playful spark, and then giggled. "Actually, I feel like you would act like a middle-aged dad on there. Post something once a year with no caption and the rest of the time be commenting stuff like 'great picture' on photos of people you met once. No offense."

Liam refused to believe he was that cringy. "Offense taken."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm so truly, very, deeply sorry," she said somberly.

The corner of his mouth twitched up into the first trace of a grin. "I can tell you feel really bad."

"I can tell you feel really offended."

She lifted her coffee cup to her lips and when his eyes briefly drifted off onto the people passing by, he almost stopped right there in the middle of the sidewalk. An icy core of dread formed in his chest and tensed all the muscles around it as he spotted none other than Jessica, his ex-friend and Caroline's equally-demonic sidekick, only fifty feet or so away and walking this direction.

He held Lils' hand a little tighter, resisting the nervous instincts that pried at the wounded parts of his mind and told him to let go. He wasn't going to be scared of being seen with his girlfriend. He wasn't.

Even if word got back to Caroline and she was still hung up enough on him to spread more pointless gossip, so be it. It didn't matter. He had what he wanted and what he needed. And there were people who would stand up for him this time if they had to.

Besides, he had an inkling she thought a lot less about him than his anxiety forced him to think about her. He doubted she would even care to give him a second glance if they ever crossed paths again.

Jessica's eyes landed on his for only a second. He had half the mind to send his regards via middle finger, but he took a slow breath and made the conscious decision to ignore her.

She walked past and that was that. The world didn't spontaneously combust. Everything was okay.

Lily thankfully never had the misfortune of meeting Jess and was therefore completely oblivious to what just transpired. Her thoughts had floated off elsewhere.

"Do you wanna watch a movie or something after your appointment later?" she asked in a murmur. "Or do you think you'll want some space?"

After being inconsistent with it for a long time – too inconsistent, evidently – Liam was taking himself back to therapy. The need was unavoidable following that episode a few weeks ago—nothing had triggered him like that before and it scared him immensely, so much so that he wanted to avoid thinking about it altogether and just hope it wouldn't happen again. But that wouldn't be fair to himself or to Lils. If nothing else, he wanted to protect her from getting stuck in that crossfire again. And she was incredibly supportive when he told her that he was thinking about starting back up with it, so he bit the bullet and scheduled the appointment.

"You can come over."

He infinitely appreciated that she was encouraging him to do whatever was best for him, but he was surely going to want a hug after that even if he wasn't up for very much talking.

They got to the classroom five minutes before class was due to start. Izzy and Ezra were already there, the latter's eyebrows shooting up when Lily and Liam walked in still holding hands.

"The elusive Lily finally makes an appearance," he grinned.

Izzy rolled her eyes. "She's not elusive. People just avoid you," she countered while getting up from her seat to come over to Lily (and Liam by proximity).

She lowered the volume of her voice. "You guys, I have a question. Do you think Bennett and Katie would work?"

What? "Do they even know each other?" Liam asked confusedly.

Ezra was fortunately distracted from butting into the conversation by Adam's entrance. The two of them started chatting, giving Izzy the liberty to talk a little louder.

"I mean, not really," she conceded. "But that could change."

In Liam's mind, the real source of debate should have been if they actually seemed compatible or if Izzy just liked playing matchmaker, but he didn't say this out loud.

Lily, meanwhile, seemed intrigued. He could see the gears in her head turning. "I can see it," she nodded. "But are they too similar? You know, opposites attract and all that."

Izzy didn't appear very convinced by this point. "Oh yeah, because you two are most definitely total opposites."

He couldn't really argue with that. Lils was more extroverted and generally more easygoing and spontaneous than he was, but their relationship wouldn't work as well as it did without their abundance of shared interests – coffee, naps, pushing down emotional trauma. All the typical makings of a good relationship.

He wasn't prepared for the response that came out of Lily's mouth and nearly laughed at it as a result. "I'll have you know that one of us is much more annoying than the other."

"Oh yeah?" Izzy smirked. "Which one?"

Lils pressed her lips together. "I can't disclose that information."

"I'm really flattered," he deadpanned.

A smile formed on her lips as she glanced over at him. "One of us also knows how to give good compliments and the other one doesn't," she added.

Their deliberation of Izzy's scheme was interrupted by Professor Sullivan's arrival. Liam had totally forgotten about Ezra's suggestion that he sing something for Lily at last semester's concert until he saw something unexpected – amusement? – wash over their professor's features for a millisecond as he pieced together who she must be.

She must have caught it, too, because her gaze shot back to Liam. "Did you say something?" she interrogated under her breath.

He wasn't letting himself get thrown under the bus for this. "I said nothing." He looked pointedly at Ezra. "He, on the other hand..."

Lily let go of his hand to cross her arms and narrow her eyes at Ezra. "I will fight you," she muttered stubbornly.

Was it bad to want to see your girlfriend try to fight your classmate? Probably. Did that stop the thought from entering Liam's head? Not at all. But what Lily didn't know was that Ezra was Ezra and took great joy in people's annoyance with him.

"I already know I have a talent for pissing people off," he grinned impishly. "You don't have to tell me."

She just huffed and turned away, fixating her attention back on Liam. "See you later," she mumbled.

Were they not in class he would have kissed her goodbye, but as it was he had to settle for telling her instead.

The TV screen cast a dim fluorescent glow in his otherwise-dark room like a neon sign, its hue subtly morphing as the screensaver pictures cycled through. Angry ashen clouds had invaded the sky a few hours ago and in their conquest snuffed daylight out early. Rain battered ceaselessly against the windows like lines of soldiers and thunder rumbled in the distance, but it had gradually become nothing more than white noise.

Liam made it back from therapy just before the rain started. Lily showed up at his door shortly thereafter carrying a stack of boxes from the local pizza shop, her hair and clothes damp from the drizzle that luckily hadn't turned into a fully-fledged downpour yet. She had gone all out and bought them a pepperoni pizza, breadsticks, and an order of cinnamon bread for dessert. They talked a little bit about his appointment over dinner and then came upstairs to burrow under a thick layer of blankets and watch a movie.

The credits finished rolling a few minutes ago, but Liam and Lily were a tangle of legs and blankets with no desire to unravel themselves. He was on his side, facing her. His eyes were closed, but he could feel her still nuzzled up to him, her little puffs of breath fanning against his neck. The fabric that he felt under his fingertips as they aimlessly stroked along the top of her back was his own shirt—he had given her a tee and some sweatpants to change into when she got here since she got caught in the rain. They were loose on her, but she looked cute and was hopefully more comfortable than she would have been in the jeans she had on before.

He closed the inch of space between them to press another light kiss against her forehead, aware that his ease of doing so in their current position was precisely why Lils liked to nestle up to him at an eye level lower than his.

A small, content sigh left her body. "Don't tell me to leave," she whispered.

"I'm not," he promised just as quietly, longing just as much as she was for her to stay right there and let him hold her all night. "But you should tell Katie so she doesn't worry about you."

Lily reluctantly rolled over to grab her phone. "Why do you have to be so responsible?" she mumbled while typing out her message.

She plopped her phone back on the nightstand and returned to where she was before. He welcomed her back with a kiss.

"So that you don't have to be."

A little hum of agreement left her lips and he closed his eyes again. He could feel her gradually give in to the temptation of sleep, her breaths slowing to a steady lull and her body becoming still. The shampoo scent that always lingered on her hair mingled with the faint remnants of the citrusy perfume she put on this morning and the trace of his own cologne embedded in the clothes that she was wearing.

Lils was so wonderful, so beautiful. Even in his old tee shirt and sweats. Especially in his old tee shirt and sweats, happily inhaling cinnamon bread and making sure he got his fair share of the icing because the comfort food was for him in the first place. He didn't find her to be any less stunning in a ballgown, but this perhaps felt the most real. The most honest. It felt perfect precisely because it wasn't perfect. Liam definitely wasn't perfect. But she was the first person that looked at him and saw all the bad parts and still wanted him more than she wanted perfect.

His mind was clouded in a peaceful haze. Going to sleep knowing that she'd be there when he woke up felt so right. They felt so right.

But he knew something had changed recently. Newness and familiarity had mingled and found their rhythm, slow dancing to a tune he realized he now understood. Because his heart stopped racing when he was around her and instead began to calm when he knew she was nearby. Because he didn't get nervous around her anymore, because he started reaching for her hand when she wasn't there.

He didn't want to do anything that would disturb her peaceful sleep. Drowsiness was tugging at the edges of his own mind, at the verge of pulling him under, so he opened his eyes to look at her one more time before it could. And it left his lips as barely a murmur, a sliver of a whisper.

A little "I love you."

He let his eyes close.

And, almost imperceptible, he heard, "I love you, too."

His breath caught for a second before resuming its normal pace. Lily noticed, shifting in his arms ever-so-slightly. "Did you think I was asleep?" she mumbled.

He nodded.

"Will you say it again now that you know I'm awake?" she requested softly.

Pleasant warmth spread throughout his veins, the words coming out even more effortlessly now that she had spoken them back. "I love you, Lils," he confessed, kissing her on the forehead once again and letting his lips linger there. "I knew I was gonna fall in love with you the day we met."

Her fingers reached up and brushed against his jaw, tilting it down so that she could mold her lips back against his in the slowest, gentlest, sleepiest, best kiss ever.

Their heavy eyelids opened when all was said and done. Liam watched her lips curve into a smile after she observed him for a moment.

"Cool," she said.

His lips, too, threatened to grin. "Cool," he agreed.

"Nice talk," she noted as she cuddled right back into her original spot. "I'm going to sleep."

This time, the quiet laugh actually did escape him. "'Night, Lils."

He felt her reach for his hand and wrap her fingers between his. "Goodnight."

____________________

*throws confetti* *infinite heart emojis*

How are we feeling? Thoughts? Reactions?

Sorry if this felt like it came soon after they started dating—writing a relationship when you need to cover a few months in a few chapters can get kind of tricky! But I don't think Liam would have made it much longer without saying it anyway :)

We're covering 2 more years in the last 15 chapters, so there's lots of cuteness and twists and turns to come! Any predictions? Thanks for reading and don't forget to vote if you enjoyed <3