It was already raining when Mona reached the place. It was a good thing that she had a sense to come back for an umbrella. Dahil malayo ang lugar, nag-tricycle siya hanggang sa bungad ng property nila kung saan nakalagay ang koprahan. Saka siya nagpahatid sa caretaker papunta sa kinaroroonan ni Felix. Nagulat pa nga ang matanda dahil hindi nito alam na may naiwan.

Pinabalik na niya ang matanda nang malapit na siya sa kubo.

My gasera na nakasabit sa kahoy na nasa gitna ng kubo. Iyon ang nagsisilbing ilaw. May lamesa lamang sa gitna noon. Nakaupo si Felix sa upuang kawayan na bahagi ng kubo. Mukhang nabasa ito ng ulan. He's drying himself with a face towel. Saka nito tinatampal-tampal ang sarili. Malamok yata.

Nang mapagod sa katatampal ay itinukod nito ang dalawang kamay sa tigkabilang tabi at saka tumitig sa gasera na nasa lamesa. He's in deep thought. Ni hindi nito napansing nakatayo na siya sa bukana ng kubo.

She was still hesitant to go in. Ngayon lang uli siya nakaramdam ng ganoong klaseng kaba. Nanghihina ang mga tuhod niya. So she just stood there for a while and watched him. Iba't ibang klaseng emosyon ang nararamdaman niya nang mga oras na 'yon. Gulong-gulo siya sa sarili. She was happy to see him but sad to see him in this state. He looks tired and defeated.

Nang makaipon ng kaunting lakas ng loob, tumikhim siya. Agad itong napatingin sa gawi niya at mukhang nagulat nang makita siya. Humigpit ang pagkakakapit niya sa tangkay ng payong nang bigla itong tumayo.

"M-Mona..."

She went inside the hut and closed her umbrella. Doon siya sa kabilang side ng table pumunta. Ipinatong niya ang dalang jacket sa lamesa.

"Isuot mo. Malamig na."

Tumango ito at ginawa ang sinabi niya. Then he sat down again. Naupo rin siya.

Matagal silang nanahimik na dalawa. She was thankful for the rain, for somehow filling in for the silence. It wasn't too awkward, though. Pakiramdam lamang niya ay naghihintayan silang dalawa. It felt like he has so much to say but isn't sure if he should say them. Maybe he's not sure if she'll allow him to or if she would listen.

"Sana hindi ka nagpaiwan," sabi niya rito nang hindi na niya kinaya ang katahimikan.

"Sabi ng daddy mo kailangan na raw bukas. I just want to help."

"You know they just want you to work overtime."

He gave her a tight smile. "Okay lang naman."

"No. It's not okay. Hindi ka pa ba napapagod?"

"I told you, when I love someone, I can't stop. I can't stop until they love me back or break my heart."

Hindi na siya nakapagsalita pa. Ramdam niya ang pag-init ng sulok ng mga mata niya. Baka kapag nagsalita siya, bigla siyang umiyak.

"I know it's been almost a year since I left, but I feel like there is still a chance for us. So I'm taking that chance."

She looked outside and blinked off the tears. The drizzle became a downpour. Parang umiiyak ang langit para sa kanya. When she spoke, she could hear her voice breaking, like pain pounding on fragile glass. "B-Bakit ka ba kasi umalis?"

Bumuntong-hininga ito. "Things got complicated."

"Kaya umalis ka agad? We could've worked it out! Understanding naman ako. Whatever it is you're going through, iniintindi ko naman, di ba?"

He looked at her intently. "You broke up with me."

"You let me break up with you," she replied with spite.

"Kasi alam kong hindi ka na masaya."

She felt something grip at her heart. Yes, she wasn't exactly happy, but she's willing to suffer as long as he's with her. Pero hindi rin niya ito masisi. If the situation was reversed and he's the one suffering, like right now, she'd probably let him go too. Kung gusto nitong bumitaw, baka hahayaan niya. Kahit masakit.

Just thinking about it hurts.

Pinahid niya ang nangingilid na luha. "So, bakit ka bumalik? Wala ka nang problema?"

Umiling ito. "I went away because I wanted to fix everything on my side first. I wanted to be with you, but they were hurting you. Gusto ko munang matanggap ka ng pamilya ko. Gusto kong mahalin nila 'yong mahal ko. Para kahit magkasama tayo, hindi ka na masasaktan."

She looked up and exhaled. The grip on her heart was getting tighter.

"Sana sinabi mo. Iintindihin naman kita. Hindi 'yong basta-basta ka na lang umalis." She swallowed the lump in her throat, but her eyes started welling up. "I-I hated you for leaving."

"I'm sorry," he said, and then, looked down. "I tried to tell you but you didn't want to listen to me."

Naalala niya noong nagpunta sila kina Fresia. It was before he disappeared without saying goodbye. She remembered him asking if they could talk and she told him no. Kung hinayaan ba niya itong magsalita, hindi kaya ito aalis? At kung hindi ito umalis, ano na kaya sila ngayon?

They could have been together, but she felt that their relationship was too fragile, it wouldn't have lasted. Lalo na't ayaw sa kanya ng pamilya nito at umaasa pa rin si Andrea kay Felix. Plus, there's still Angela.

"I'm sorry too," she told him, "for not giving you the chance to explain yourself."

He nodded. She wiped her tears with the sleeves of the jacket she's wearing.

--

Magkatapat sila ng upuan. Parehong nakaupo. Nakatingin lang sa isa't isa. Para itong ibang tao ngayon. Something changed in him and she felt like something changed in her too. They were eons away from their old selves, one year ago.

If there's one thing that absolutely remained resilient, it's her heart and her love for him. Ganoon siguro kapag nakita mo na 'yong taong gusto mong makasama hanggang pagtanda. Wala ka nang nakikitang iba at wala ka na ring ganang maghanap pa.

The tight grip she was feeling moved from her heart to her lungs, making every breath a painful experience. She didn't know why it felt that way. Nakatingin lang naman sila sa isa't isa.

The rain outside pours down harder than ever.

"Do you still love me?"

It was almost inaudible; she almost didn't hear it.

As response, she whispered, "I wouldn't be here if I don't."

Nakita niya itong ngumiti nang bahagya. Nagiging iyakin na yata siya. That simple action brought tears to her eyes again. Tumayo siya at lumapit dito. She stood in front of him, her tears trickled down on his face.

He looked up and wiped her cheek with his thumb.

"Palagi na lang kitang pinapaiyak."

Ngumiti siya at hinawakan ito sa tigkabilang pisngi. His own eyes are already moist with tears. It was heartbreaking. When she was younger, she dreamed of guys who don't cry, who portray coldness and apathy. Kasi ganoon ang cool sa mga movies at pocketbooks. But his tears tugged at her heart. It made her feel more attached to him.

She closed the gap between them and placed her lips on his. It was just a soft kiss. Both of them didn't move, as if they would break if they did.

Yumakap ito sa kanya. She placed her chin on top of his head. She felt his fatigue, his longing... his misery.

--

Nang mahimasmasan sila pareho, naupo siya sa tabi nito. He placed his arm on her shoulder and pulled her close. Hinalikan nito ang sintido niya.

"Am I forgiven?" he asked.

Tumango siya. Saka yumakap dito. "What about Andrea and Angela? Are they okay with you being here?"

"Yes."

Kumunot ang noo niya dahil hindi siya makapaniwala sa sagot nito. "Talaga?"

"I stayed with them for a year in another country. Andrea wanted us to get back together. I proved to her that it wouldn't work out."

"Buti nakumbinsi mo sya."

"Siguro kasi nakita nyang hindi na talaga ako masaya sa kanya. I can be a good dad to Angela, pero sa kanya... wala na talaga akong nararamdaman. When she realized that I couldn't feel the same way I've felt for her before, she decided to stop forcing me."

"And Angela?"

"We made her understand."

She sighed in relief. "Pero naaawa pa rin ako sa bata. Her family won't be whole again."

"At least Andrea and I are in good terms now and we can still be good parents even though we're not together. Kesa naman magtitiis kaming dalawang magkasama para lang sa image ng buong pamilya, di ba?"

Tumango siya at saka ito tiningala.

"I just don't understand something. Andrea had threatened you before that she'll take Angela away if you won't get back together with her, but why did you give in this time?"

Felix averted his gaze. "She saw something that made her snap."

She frowned. "What?"

"Something that I couldn't give her," he answered. Tumingin ito sa kanya. "A ring."

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. Humiwalay siya rito. "Y-You bought a ring?"

He nodded. "When you broke up with me, I thought that maybe if I asked you to marry me, you'd know that I'm serious about you, that it would take all your doubts away, and that you'd reconsider. Pero nang malaman ni Andrea, it made me realize that I couldn't marry you just yet, not with all these problems surrounding us."

"B-But you want to marry me?"

"Oo naman. Siguro kaya rin sumabog si Andrea. She's been waiting for it for so many years and you're someone I just met, but I was willing to marry you while she waited for nothing."

She felt sorry for Andrea. Naiintindihan niya kung bakit ito nasasaktan. If she could give Felix up, she'd hope for them to be together again. For Andrea and for Angela. Ang problema, hindi rin niya kayang pakawalan ang lalaki.

Love is cruel. It wrecks havoc and leaves casualties along the way. Ang hinihiniling na lamang niya, sumaya na rin sana si Andrea.

--

Still, Mona was ecstatic to know that he intends to marry her. Akalain mo nga namang sa dulo ng istorya nilang dalawa, 'yong ending na gusto niya ang masusunod. Probably the only thing left it to ask for her family's blessing.

Tiningala niya si Felix na kanina pa natutulog. He's leaning on the corner of the bamboo bench, embracing her while he sleeps. Pumayat talaga ito. The contours of his face became more define. Napansin din niya ang mga kamay nito. Puro sugat.

She told him to eat his food earlier, pero siya ang pinakain nito. She knew he was hungry because he wasn't eating right, pero siya ang inuna nito.

"Nangangayayat ka rin naman," sabi pa nito sa kanya kanina. "Why aren't you eating right?"

"Diet ako," she joked.

"Well, stop dieting."

She traced his jawline. She missed him so much. She wanted to keep on kissing him, but she had to let him rest. Bukas, sabay nilang haharapin ang mga magulang niya. Bukas, kukumbinsihin niya ang mga itong tanggapin na si Felix, kagaya ng pagkumbinsi nito sa mga magulang nito na tanggapin siya.

But for that night, she will also rest. Pumikit siya at pinakinggan ang malakas na pagpatak ng ulan hanggang sa makatulog siya.