Jakoby

Well, I don't know much but I know that I have to see that girl again.

   Her name is Ruby, which is interesting considering her non-natural hair color is very dark red. She's petite and yet strong willed and stubborn, from what I could tell. I did in fact stare at her while I was on a date at the museum, but I knew from the first minute that date began, it was going no where. Jenn - the date - is a friend of my roommates'. Johnny, one of my three roommates, set us up, saying he thought we'd get along well. Johnny obviously doesn't know me at all. Jenn talked for an hour about her self and her job at the model agency. I pretended to care. After two hours at the museum - where she picked for our date - I was ready to say goodnight to her. I think she was stunned that I wasn't interested in taking her home with me. But I'd already laid my eyes on Ruby.

   Maybe I was too forward with her. I told her she is beautiful - or gorgeous. I forget what I said to her, but her eyes were mesmerizing. I asked for her number. Or I requested it. She turned me down. But I saw the look in her eyes when they met mine. There was a spark. A light that set off the next series of events for us. I'll see her again, I know it. I believe in fate and destiny and that things happen for a reason. I believe these things because my own mother believed in it.

   In the mean time, I need to make some money. My "job" is interning with Doc Marlo, an indie record label exec. I went in and applied for the job on a whim about six months ago, and surprisingly got it. Doc is brilliant, but mean, and he doesn't pay me. He says I'll earn enough knowledge and life skills that money isn't important right now. But I still have to pay my part of the rent. And I have to eat.

   Today's my third day in a row playing guitar downtown, outside the mall. It's a good spot with a lot of foot traffic, and I'm not above playing on the street for money. I'd do real gigs if I could book any. I've been trying, but besides a few coffee shop gigs - that also don't pay - I haven't booked a thing. 

  Today's also my twenty-third birthday.

  It's been a week since I saw Ruby.

  I play for an hour, singing songs most people know. Lots of people stop and listen, clap and drop money into my guitar case. I'm a good singer, if I'm being honest. I learned to play guitar when I was ten, when my dad left one of his guitars in my bedroom before he, well, left. My mom told me then that he had big dreams and needed to be somewhere else to make them come true. I taught myself to sing and play guitar so I could prove to my mom that I was enough for her.

   When I'm done playing, I pack up without counting the money. It's really hot outside today, even though it's September, and I need some lunch. There's no food at the apartment. There never is. Johnny is working a double shift today. He's a nurse at the hospital and we've been friends for a couple years. We moved in together, along with his other friends, David and Topher, about a year ago, when I had to leave my mom's house. You'd think with four guys in their twenties, someone could manage to buy groceries. But no.

   Inside the mall, it's air conditioned and it smells so good. The food court is my first stop. Tossing my guitar on my back, I grab five bucks from my pocket and order a hot dog. Perfect birthday lunch, I just wish I wasn't alone.

   The food court is busy and loud and I don't really pay attention to anything else while I eat. I definitely didn't eat breakfast.  When I stand up from the table that I was sitting at and spin around, I come face to face with someone.

   She backs up quickly, already apologizing for crashing into me, but I'm frozen in time. Is this really possible?

   "You," I say, without thinking.

   It's Ruby, the museum girl. But her hair is dark brown now, with pink ends. I know it's her. I remember her eyes. She doesn't seem like she recognizes me, which stings a bit.

   "Oh, hi," she mumbles. Maybe she does remember me, but she doesn't look happy about it.

   "This has to be fate," I say quickly.

   She scoffs and is looking around, like she's trying to find some reason to get away from me.

   "You don't think it's fate?" I ask her anyway.

   "Don't believe in fate." Her answer comes fast and though she's finally looking at me, it's not a pleasant look.

   "You don't date. You don't trust people. And you don't believe in fate," I recall.

   "All correct." She just nods, and then is looking around again.

   "Hmm. Well, I think it's fate. A week ago we met at the museum. Today you literally run into me in the mall food court," I go on.

   Ruby still does not look amused. "It's a coincidence. I have to go. I'm meeting someone."

   Instinctively, I reach out and grab her arm. "How about if we ever see each other again, you have to give me your number?"

   For a split second, I'm sure she's going to argue. But then she nods, without a word. I'm still holding her arm and she hasn't pulled away, and I need to know if she feels what I feel. It's too soon to ask that, though.

   "Yes?" I ask, wanting verbal confirmation.

   "Fine. But it's can't be here, or the museum," she spits out.

   "Of course not," I agree.

   "And you can't, like, stalk me or anything," Ruby adds. Her expression is so serious.

   I smile. "No stalking. Got it."

   "Okay." I drop my hand off her arm as she steps back. "Bye."

   She's already walking away before I can answer so I just watch her go, and then pick up my garbage and head towards the garbage can.

   While I'm walking back to the apartment, I replay the whole conversation in my head. It was too short. All I know now is that I have to change her mind about us.

*   

The apartment on the third floor of this small building isn't big enough for four guys to live in. There's two bedrooms and a living room, bathroom and tiny kitchen. We have two mattresses on the floor in the corner of the dining room, where David and I sleep. It's not ideal, but the rent is cheap because we split it four ways, and I have no money saved after I had to pay for my mom's funeral last year. I will be paying off the credit cards from that for years, let alone the debt she also left me.

   I know I should get a conventional job, but somehow I still believe in destiny. Things happen in life for a reason. My dad left when I was a kid because he believed it, too. Even though I haven't figured it out yet, I know there's a reason why my mom died at forty-five and left me with pretty much nothing.  I was lucky to land the job with Doc Marlo, so I refuse to mess that up by trying to get a "real" job. Things will work out. They have to.

   David gets home two hours later, cake in one hand and a giant balloon bouquet in the other. I'm on the couch, trying to write a new song, and my jaw falls open when I see him.

   "Damnit. You weren't supposed to see this til later," David says, shaking his head.

   "See what?" I ask, pretending to look away.

  David laughs his loud, annoyingly contagious laugh. He's like six foot five and we jokingly call him the gentle giant. He's a mechanic and works weird hours. I actually probably see him the most out of my three roommates.

   "Johnny thought you'd be working today?" David goes on, rushing into one of the bedrooms to drop off the birthday stuff.

   "My boss gave me the day off... but I went down to the mall to play for a bit," I answer, looking back down at my paper. There's only two words written. Your eyes.

   "I can't believe you work for Doc Marlo but you 're still playing outside stores for money." David laughs again and comes back over to sit beside me.

   So much for writing.

   "Well, money doesn't grow on trees, as they say." I shrug.

   "True. How much did you make playing today?" David wants to know.

   For some reason, it's intriguing to my roommates to hear how much I make each day that I go out and sing for the public.

  "I didn't count it yet," I admit, and then stand up and go over to where I left my guitar the door.

   I open the case and take the guitar out, then take the next two minutes to count the bills and change. "Fifty-two dollars."

  "For an hour! Not bad!" David announces.

   I fist all the money and walk across the room to where my "bed" is, and open up the shoe box beside it. After dropping in the cash, I shove the lid back on and sigh. I probably have enough for rent next month, but barely. I don't have much extra for my share of the groceries, which the guys have been covering for months. I try not to eat a lot. They treat me like their poor friend who needs charity and I'm sick of it, but also... it's true. I need a damn break.

*  

"Happy birthday buddy!" Johnny yells, barging into the apartment around 8P.M. that night. 

  I know he's already worked sixteen hours and I know he's exhausted, but he's a good friend. David and Topher are on the couch, watching baseball, and both jump when Johnny comes in.

  There's some hushed conversation and then they start singing happy birthday at full volume, heading towards me with the balloons and the cake, complete with three lit candles. After I laugh and blow them out, Johnny puts the cake on the counter in the kitchen and starts cutting it up.

  "Three candles because you're twenty three," he tells me, then hands me a paper plate with a giant piece of chocolate cake.

  "Thank you, honestly," I reply, and nod at the cake.

  "Of course," he says with a smile. "You're like our little brother."

  I am the youngest of the four of us. Johnny is twenty-six and the other two are twenty-five. They've all known each other since high school, but I met Johnny at the hospital. He was one of my mom's nurses during one of her hospital stays.

  "Well, now you have to go get some sleep," I tell him, once we've all eaten large slices of cake.

  "You're right, I do," Johnny answers, yawning as if on cue. "See you fools tomorrow. Happy birthday again, Jak."

  I nod and watch him head off towards his bedroom. He's the only person who calls me Jak and while I hated it at first, now it's totally grown on me.

  I can hear the TV on just around the corner from where I'm laying on my makeshift bed, but I'm used to it. I have so many lyrics running through my head on a daily basic, but it's so hard to get them out and into song form. All I want is to be able to write great songs and have people enjoy them. That's my destiny. But first I have to get them written, and I have to convince Doc to listen to them.

  Falling asleep that night, I can't get Ruby out of my head. We met again for a reason. I could have bumped into anyone, but it was her. Now I have to hope that fate does it thing and brings us together once again.