Ruby

I'm definitely surprised that I don't hear from Jakoby for almost a week.

   There might be some disappointment mixed in there, too. Besides a text saying hello and another asking how my day was earlier that week, he doesn't seem all that interested in me. I mean, something happened between us that evening in front of the grocery store. There was this feeling, like something big was going to happen. But then he said he was planning to let things happen naturally, which I still don't exactly understand.

   What has progressed, though, is my relationship with Ryan and Kaylee. Somehow, we have already entwined into each other's lives like we've always been there. We text daily and we've hung out three times since I met up with Ryan at the mall - once at their house in Canton and twice at my apartment.

   Now it's Saturday, and I'm hanging out with Garrett, Ryan and Kaylee once again. We are at our apartment and Garrett made a cherry pie - he loves to bake - and wanted their opinion of it. He says mine doesn't count because I always tell him it's good.

   My phone buzzes from across the room, where I left it on the table. My half eaten piece of pie is on the coffee table in front of me, but I don't have the heart to tell Garrett it's not my favourite. I usually end up lying and saying it was delicious. Thankfully, Ryan seems to love it.

   "So?" Garrett begins, coming back into the living room, from the kitchen. He has this big smile on his face and his tall, muscular frame is almost bouncing with excitement.

   "Dude, it's so good," Ryan says quickly, looking at his girlfriend.

   Her mouth is full but she nods. Still excited, Garrett looks at me.

   "G, sorry, I don't love cherries," I say and hope he's not offended. "But it's really good otherwise."

   He just furrows his brow and shakes his head. "Damnit, I forgot."

"Well I love cherries," Ryan butts in and then laughs.

   My phone buzzes again.

   "Someone's popular tonight," Kaylee says as I stand up to go over to retrieve it.

   I read the two texts on the screen in my head twice.

Jakoby: I'm playing a show at a little bar tonight, if you want to come.

   Jakoby: I'd love to see a familiar face in the crowd.

   I sigh and start typing back right away. No, thanks.

   "Who are you texting?" Garrett asked, always interested in my personal life. Not that I really have one, outside of him, and now Ryan and Kaylee.

   "Nothing. Nobody," I say quickly.

   Buzz.

Jakoby: Ok. Well, here's the address just in case you change your mind.

   Jakoby: 490 Albert Way Drive, it's across from the gas station

   This guy is something. Persistent. Stubborn. And yet he thinks I'll just drop everything and go watch him play some music at a bar?  We barely know each other.

   I'm still staring at my phone when Garrett laughs. "Jakoby texting again?"

Garrett knows he's texted me exactly twice in the last week, since I gave him my phone number. Why do I tell Garrett everything? I should have known he'd make this a big deal.

   "Jakoby?" Ryan asks interested, dropping his fork onto his now empty plate.

   Ryan's only been back in my life for less than two weeks and yet it's like we're comfortable as ever around each other. I really like that.

   "Her crush," Garrett says, then grins.

   "He's not my crush," I argue quickly.

   "Why haven't we heard about this guy?" Kaylee wants to know.

  "It's nothing. He's just... a guy I've ran into a couple times," I say, hoping they believe me.

   "Three times. All random. So, she gave him her number." Garrett is still laughing as he explains my weird situation to my brother and his girlfriend.

  "Stop," I tell him, shaking my head.

   "Sounds like fate," Ryan says, then shrugs.

   "Not you too," I snap.

  "Ruby doesn't believe things happen for a reason," Garrett says, picking up the plates to take back to the kitchen.

   "What about me bringing my nephew to your museum?" Kaylee suggests. She's got me there.

   I stare at her and say nothing. I can't explain that, because to me it was random. It was amazing and it turned into something so good, but it wasn't fate.

   Ryan laughs now. "I get why Ruby's the way she is. Trust me," he says to Garrett, then turns to me. "But you have to admit that Kaylee going to that museum that day meant something. She could have taken him anywhere in the city, but she went there and met you."

   "Yes, well, I'm glad it worked out that way, Ryan, but it's not fate," I say easily.

   "Rube, you have to let yourself have some happiness, eventually." Ryan's being too serious all of a sudden. I don't like it.

   "I'm happy enough," I spit out.

  "Really?" Kaylee asks, suddenly serious too. "You're not very convincing."

   "Please, let's stop talking about this," I beg.

   I drink half a bottle of water and watch as Garrett drinks his beer, a few minutes later. He's smirking at me. I know he was just teasing me but I'm not ready to branch out yet. Garrett's my best friend. Yes, we were more than that at one point. He let me indulge in what I thought I wanted but in the end, we ended up roommates and best friends. That was almost two years ago. I know he just wants me to be happy. But he needs to let this go.

   "So... what's Jakoby saying tonight?" Garrett asks a few minutes later, after he's back from the kitchen again.

   I sigh. He's not dropping the topic and it's getting annoying. "He invited me to a bar, to watch his gig."

   "Oh my god," Garrett says loudly, an expression I can't read on his face. "That's big, Ruby."

"Gig? Does he play music?" Ryan asks.

"Yeah, he's a musician. He literally plays on street corners. And I'm not going," I answer, shaking my head.

   "You should. Even for a bit," Kaylee tells me, then adds, "He invited you."

  "Yeah. I guess. I don't even really know him." Saying this out loud sounds wrong. I feel like I know him, but really I've only ran into him randomly three times, in public.

   "That's how you get to know people. By getting together with them," Ryan says, then shrugs. "I think you should go."

  "I'm hanging out with you guys," I answer, really grasping at straws to get out of this.

    "I'm going to bed by eight," Garrett laughs. "I have to get up at 5A.M. for my boot camp class."

  "We have to drive back to Canton for dinner with Kaylee's parents," Ryan says to me. "You have no reason not to go."

   Except that I'm terrified. Isn't that a good enough reason not to do something? I'm afraid of a lot of things, but getting close with someone new tops the list. With Ryan and Kaylee, it's been easy. Simple. We're family there's no pressure. I've been perfectly happy with Garrett and Bet and Wally, and working at the museum. I don't need some guy in my life who plays guitar and believes in fate.

   Except, I'm curious. That scares me, too. I'd rather keep myself safe and have an easy, boring life than risk inviting anything into my life that could hurt me again. I've been hurt enough.

   Two hours later, the apartment is too quiet.

   Garrett went to bed and Ryan and Kaylee left to drive back to Canton. Usually on Saturday nights I'd have no problem cuddling up with a book for an hour or two and going to bed early. I work tomorrow but only noon to 6P.M, as usual on Sundays. I am happy with my life. I'm not just trying to convince myself that. I am happy that I'm safe and can make my own decisions and I don't exactly have to rely on anyone. Those are the things I didn't have growing up.

   And yet this decision seems to still be weighing on me. I could go and listen to a few songs. Technically I don't even have to talk to Jakoby at all. And the way I've been feeling about him this past week makes me want to go, despite what I said tonight.

   Finally, a bit after 8P.M., I text Garrett.

   Taking your car. I'll be back in a couple hours

   I don't expect a reply, but as I'm getting into his car, down in the lot a few minutes later, my phone buzzes.

   Have fun, be safe.

   My heart is beating too fast as I follow the GPS and drive down towards the bar. It's street parking and it's pretty much a hole in the wall, but it's not in a bad area, at least. I don't do stuff like this, especially on my own. I have a lot of worries surrounding situations like this one. But I'm trying to push all of that down because my heart feels different since I've met Jakoby. I don't know what it is, but for some reason I want to find out.