Jakoby

We are getting somewhere.

   Not only did I get to see Ruby three times this past week at the coffee shop - our spot - but she's here, at the bar, to watch my set tonight.

   She said she was bringing her brother and his girlfriend, so that's who I'm assuming are with her. They are about half way to the stage, standing around a table. Her brother looks so similar to her, now that I look at him. The other girl is a pretty red-head. She's wearing a long tight sweater. Ruby's wearing a black dress and leggings.

   I'm walking out onto the stage as Gabe - the bar owner - announces who I am, and I meet her eyes. She's smiling so big and clapping and my heart squeezes tightly. It feels like I can't breathe for a second and then finally I'm at the mic and I thank Gabe and then start talking to the crowd.

   I play six songs tonight, but I save Ruby's song for last. I introduce it this time, and I say that I wrote it for a special person in my life who has really changed me.

   I don't keep my eyes on Ruby while I sing it, but I glance at her a few times. She's smiling at the girl she's with, who obviously knows I wrote this song for her. It's starting to become my favourite song to sing.

   "And you make me smile, no matter what you do,
Because I didn't know that I was missing you."

   "Thank you so much, I'm Jakoby Ward," I say to the crowd, as the applause settles. "Rotten Clue will be coming out in a few minutes. Have a great night!"

   I pass the band as I slip backstage again and they all pat my back and tell me what a great set it was. It feels good, but still surreal. A few minutes later I'm packing up my guitar and then I check my phone, which I left in one of the back rooms. Grinning, I see a text from Ruby, already.

Come out and meet my brother and his girlfriend when you can?

   The text only just came in a minute ago, so I text back be out in a minute and then go down to the bathroom, check myself out, and head back out, down the side stairs and over towards the bar. I'm sweaty and high on adrenaline but I'm feeling good as I come up behind her.

"Hey," she says, turning towards me. "You were amazing!"

"Thanks," I reply, keeping my eyes on hers. I love how she's looking at me now. It's familiar, and exciting.

"Oh, so this is my brother, Ryan, and Kaylee, his girlfriend," she goes on, and points to each of them. Ryan has a beer in his hand and nods at me.

  "Nice to meet you. You were really good up there."

  "Thanks, man," I answer, holding out my hand to shake his.

  "Excuse me, I need to ask about that last song," Kaylee says to me, a huge smile on her face. Ruby looks embarrassed. "You totally wrote it for Ruby, right?"

"Yes, that's her song," I say easily.

"He had only met me twice when he wrote it," Ruby speaks up, shaking her head.

"That's so sweet," Kaylee coos, glancing at Ruby and then back to me.

"So, you two are together now?" Ryan asks, bringing his beer to his lips.

   I look at Ruby right away. I still don't know what we are. I wish I knew, but we haven't talked about it. I want to be together, with her. It feels like we are. But this is her question to answer, so I stay quiet.

"We're taking it slow," she finally says, smiling at me.

   Well, that's not exactly what I hoped she'd say. I nod anyway and then ask them if they want to go sit in a booth. Ryan and Kaylee agree and head over, while I stay at the bar and order a beer for myself. Ruby is still right beside me, a glass of water in her hand.

"You want something else?" I ask her.

  She shrugs. "I don't really drink."

   "Alright. Well if you want anything, let me now."

  She nods sweetly and keeps her eyes on me as I thank the bartender and grab my beer, then she stands and follows me toward the booth against the wall. Kaylee and Ryan are on one side, sitting close, so I slide in across from them, excited to have Ruby beside me. She slides in and leaves a bit of space between us.

"Seriously, thanks for the invite, Ruby. This is cool little place," Kaylee begins, looking around the bar again.

  I don't think it's a 'cool little place'. It's kind of dump, but now it's where I work, twice a month. The fact that I get paid to play music here is mind blowing, still. I think Kaylee's just being nice, but I smile at her anyway.

"I'm glad you guys could come," I say to them both.

"Well, we've heard so much about you so we had to come and see you for ourselves," Kaylee goes on, then giggles.

  I glance at Ruby and she smiles at me, biting her bottom lip. Man, this girl does something to me. This is so different from our last two "dates" at the coffee shop. This is so different from our texting conversations, where we say anything we want to each other. This is new, and she's so close to me, and its loud and dark. I love it.

"I have to go use the washroom," Kaylee says a few minutes later, "C'mon, Ry."

"You want me to help you?" Ryan asks her with a laugh.

"No, just walk me down there and wait outside, dumbass," she tells them, then says to Ruby, "Be right back."

  Ryan nods towards us and gets out of the booth, slips his hand into hers as they walk towards the hallway where the washrooms are. Suddenly I'm alone with Ruby, though we're far from alone. The bar is packed and Rotten Clue just started playing. Ruby sips her water and doesn't look at me right away.

"I'm so glad you came tonight," I tell her, moving over a tiny bit towards her.

  Her eyes meet mine and she nods. "You really were amazing."

  "You don't have to keep complimenting me, I'm going to get a big head."

  She laughs and I'm so glad I could make her laugh. It's rare, she's mostly pretty serious, so even a big smile is a big deal to me. "I can't believe you wrote me a song."

   "I'll write you a hundred more," I say easily, but I'm holding my breath.

    She sighs and looks away and I can tell she's thinking about something. I just want her to look at me again, so I can ask her what she meant by we're taking it slow. Finally, after what feels like hours, she speaks, still not looking at me. "I don't know why, but it feels like we've known each other more than six weeks."

"I feel like I've always known you, somehow," I tell her right away.

"Jakoby... you believe we met for some bigger reason, right?" she asks, glancing my way again. I nod. "I kind of want to figure out what that is."

  I'm confused, so I just look down at her and wait.

"I feel things for you that I haven't felt in a long time. I look forward to talking to you, and seeing you, and... I know I've been mostly unsure about us... but I think I'm sure, now."

"You're sure... about what exactly?" I ask, my heart pounding.

"This band is awesome!" Kaylee is suddenly back at the end of the booth, her hands tapping on the table. "You guys should come dance!"

  The house band is playing now and it's loud and Kaylee is yelling but I just want to know what Ruby was going to say. When I look down at her again, her attention is on Kaylee.

"You guys go. I don't really dance," she says loudly.

"Ahh, c'mon!" Kaylee is swaying her hips to the music and I see Ryan just behind her.

"In a minute," Ruby says to Kaylee, who finally leaves, turning her attention back to her boyfriend.

"What are you sure about?" I ask Ruby again, right into her ear.

  She's smiling up at me and her eyes are looking right into my soul. "I'm sure that I really like being with you."

"I do, too. But you knew that already."

  "Yeah." She lets out a laugh and then leans in so her head is sort of on my shoulder "Just so you know, I still don't believe in fate."

"No?"

  "No. But I do believe in letting myself be happy, which I haven't done in a long time."

  Her voice is sort of vibrating off of my body and I have to strain to hear her because its so loud, all around us.

"Come outside with me," I say, and she lifts her head and nods.

  I hold her hand as we walk through the crowd and to the same door she slipped out of that first night here, two weeks ago. When I ended my song early and followed her. We are just outside and in the same spot as that night, when I lean against the building and look down at her. The alley street light is lighting up her face, just a little bit.

"I want to make you happy." I say, my ears still ringing from the loud music inside. "I want to be the one who makes you laugh, and who you want to tell your good news to. I want-"

   But I can't finish my sentence because she's kissing me. It's not a sweet, gentle kiss, which I assumed our first would be. It's filled with passion and she's leaning right against me and her hands are at my face, holding me, like she thinks I might run.

   I could never.

   I kiss her back and don't hesitate when I can tell she wants me to kiss her deeper. She parts her lips and I slip in my tongue to meet hers. It's like something out of a movie. This has been building for awhile and I've been trying to be good. Sitting across from her at that coffee shop, flirting, holding her hand when she lets me, it's been enough. But this? This is everything.

   When she pulls back, she's panting, holding my eye contact. She looks surprised.

"Oh my god," she breaths out, finally.

"Is that good oh my god, or...?" I ask, eyes wide.

   And she laughs, her sweet noise filling the quiet alley. "Yes. Good. I can't believe that just happened."

"Why?" I want to know.

"I wasn't sure I'd go through with it." She looks embarrassed as she tells me this.

"You were planning this?"

"Not exactly. I was hoping for it. You just know exactly what to say," she goes on.

"I only say what I mean, Ruby."

   She smiles and leans in, pressing her forehead into my chest. Finally. Finally, I have her. Finally, I can hold her and hug and kiss her, like I've wanted to for weeks. She still hasn't told me that we're official or anything, but I'm sure we're on our way.

   Now I have to figure out how to keep her here.