Ruby

"So, did you end up going to Jakoby's gig?"  Kaylee asks me the next day, when she calls in the morning. Kaylee hates texting so she just calls when she wants to talk.

  I'm kind of obsessed with how Kaylee and I became instant friends. It's new and different and awesome. I've never had a real girl friend, and she's pretty amazing. Also, she loves my brother.

   "I did," I answer, unsure of what her reaction to this will be.

  She squeals and I have to pull my phone away from my ear for a second. "Yay! And? What happened?"

  I will not tell her about the bad parts about that evening. I really don't know how much Kaylee knows about my past, but there's no point in bringing up the asshole who made me cry at the bar. "It was pretty good."

  "That's it? Good?"

   "Yeah. It was a little bar and I just stayed in the back and watched him play-"

  "Like a stalker?" Kaylee laughs.

   "No. He knew I was there."

    "Ohh, and then what happened?" she wants to know.

  Right now, I can't go into details. Maybe I'll tell her more when I see her next. I hate talking on the phone, honestly.

   "Not much," I say plainly.

    "When are you going to see him again?" she asks right away, like she's planned out what to say next.

  "Not sure."

   "Boo. Well, keep me updated. Oh, you're off on Wednesday, yeah? Dinner here, bring Garrett if you want," Kaylee goes on.

  "Okay, sounds good." I smile.

  I'm glad she called to ask if I ended up going, even though I would have preferred a text. Honestly, I'm glad she cares enough to call me at all. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I have her and Ryan in my life now. There has been very little conversation between us, so far, about our past. There's a lot that still has to be spoken of, between Ryan and I, but for now I like that we're pretending everything is just fine.

  I've been thinking about Jakoby almost constantly since I dropped him off at his apartment Saturday night. The way he looked at me in the alley, when I was crying. How he left his gig to come find out if I was okay. The way he smiled and thanked me for the ride home, a perfect gentleman.

  Still, though, he hasn't texted me.

  I know I should be happy because I am confused enough about how I feel about him. It would probably be better if I let whatever it is fizzle out. But still I wonder if he's waiting for me to text him first? I'm new to this and I don't know the rules. Before I saw him in front of the grocery store that evening, before I gave him my number, I was sure this was all nothing. There was no way anything was going to happen between us. I would never see  him again. And even though pushing him away  now feels like the right move, I can't.

  Finally, when I'm at work that afternoon, I pull out my phone and send him a text.

  So... about that song.

  He doesn't reply until I'm home again, later that evening. My shift is done at 7P.M. and I walk home, even though it's getting colder each and every day. Our apartment is only three blocks from the museum. I'm in pajamas and sipping coffee on the couch when my phone buzzes next to me.

  Which song? :)

  Me: Seriously? You know which song.

  Jakoby: I'm glad you were there to hear it, Ruby. That was the first time I played it for anyone.

  Me: Well, do you want the truth?

  Him: Of course

  Me: I was about to leave about half way through that song. Then that asshole grabbed me.

  Jakoby: Shit. Why were you leaving? Actually, can I just call you?

  Call me? Besides at work where I answer the phones at the desk, I do not talk on the phone. I text with Garrett, Bet (sometimes) and now Kaylee and Ryan. Kaylee has just started calling me, but I'm okay with that, for some reason. When I was young, nothing good every happened with a phone call. I was nine when my mom made that call that changed everything. We were in our real home, before our lives were destroyed. Well, mine was bad before that. But my mom had had enough and did something bad - then she made that call. The same evening, Ryan and I were ripped from our mom and tossed into the system. Only three years later, we were torn apart after a phone call that told us Ryan was being adopted.

  Jakoby: Why were you leaving?

  I didn't answer about him calling so he took that as a no. Good.

  Me: Your song. It made me feel things I didn't know how to deal with.

  Why the hell am I telling him this?

  Jakoby: You want to talk about that?

  Me: No. Did you get in trouble for leaving early?

  Jakoby: Not really. My boss called and asked where I went, but I was pretty much done anyway.

  Me: Your boss? I thought you don't believe in conventional jobs?

  I don't know why I'm so comfortable talking to him through texts like this. It's like we're friends and we do this all the time, when this is really the first time - besides when he invited me to his gig. I swallow hard and remind myself that I barely know him.

  Jakoby: That was half true. I'll explain sometime, maybe in person

  Me: Sure.

  A few minutes pass and he doesn't text back. My heart is racing with anticipation, for some reason. This can't be it for tonight. I'm aching to keep talking to him.

  Finally, my phone lights up again.

  Jakoby: I wrote that song for you, Ruby. After you bumped into me in the mall food court.

  He wrote a song for me. We'd only seen each other two times, ever. He didn't know a single thing about me, he still doesn't. But he wrote a song about me?

  Me: That's why you asked me to go to the gig? To hear the song?

  Jakoby: I guess so. I'm better with songs than words.

  Me: It was a sweet song. But I don't know how true it could be. You don't even know me.

  Jakoby: I feel like I do. And we met for a reason.

  Me: You're so sure about that.

 Jakoby: I am. Can't we be friends?

  He wants to be my friend? He wrote a song about how I took his breath away and that he fell for me so hard he broke. It's so confusing. How could we be friends? I would never admit it but I've thought about him more than once in a more-than-friends type of way, since we met. I know the way he looks at me is not as a friend. But somehow I know he'll respect me enough to be friends, if I can handle it. At the moment, I'm not so sure.

  Me: What does that entail?

  Jakoby: Did you just ask me what friendship entails?

  Me: Yes. With you.

  Jakoby: We could meet for coffee. You could intentionally come and hear me play outside the mall, sometime?

  So it seems like being friends with him would mean seeing him on purpose. I mean, that makes sense. I do spend a lot of time at the apartment by myself. Even with Kaylee and Ryan in my life now, I am still alone a lot. And no, I don't believe Jakoby and I met for any specific reason, but I do feel comfortable enough around him to maybe, possibly, become friends.

  Me: Okay

  Jakoby: Yeah? So what are you doing tomorrow?

  Tomorrow? That's fast. But I still don't hesitate to reply.

  Me: I work until 7

  Jakoby: There's a coffee shop across from the museum, no?

  Me: There is.

  Jakoby: I could be there at 7:15

  Me: Fine

  My heart is racing, like it's slamming into my chest. I'm agreeing to meet him for coffee after work. I'm really doing this? Maybe I can still back out? Maybe in the morning I'll come to my senses and realize this is a bad idea.

  Then his last text of the evening comes in.

  Fine. See you then, Ruby.