WARNING: weight loss, grief and eating disorders.
NOTES: apologies for any spelling mistakes, I am dyslexic plus this chapter is unedited!

"Antoine, are you having affair?"

Aleksandra was in the bathroom so she couldn't see her husband face but there was a sound of shock that passed his lips. Out of the two, it was Antoine who always had this fear but that changed tonight for Aleksandra. It was a stupid reason but the couple just had their second round of sex that evening but it felt different. Normally, it would start slow then build up to become more intense but it started slow and only build up a tiny bit.

"Mon beau, why would you think such a thing? Of course I am not. Why would I when I married to the girl of my dreams."

"I know and your going to laugh at me. I read this article and it said a way to know if your partner is cheating is apparently they change the way they have sex with it. And them two rounds just felt different." Aleksandra said. She had walked round to where Antoine was, who is now sat up and Aleksandra placed herself on his lap sideways.

Antoine moved a bit of her hair that had fallen over her face and tucked it behind her hear with his hand softly under her chin. "I didn't want to hurt you. Mon beau, every time I see you, you seem to lost more and more weight and I am worried about you."

"I know but I promise you that I trying really hard to bit it back on. For some time, I liked being this size because all the kind comments people was saying but then it soon make me uncomfortable at how much I lost.... Plus, my body has become a lot more weaker and I am currently out of football on health issues. It is why I have been allowed to come to World Cup." Aleksandra said.

Why had Aleksandra lost so much weight in the year? In April, Aleksandra lost her Nan. Everyone knew how hard this death would effort Aleksandra but she completely lost her want to eat food. People, would say it was the grief but she want to start to eat again. But she didn't. Then the Woman Euro was happening and everyone was saying how good Aleksandra was looking and how much weight she lost. Aleksandra, had always struggled with losing her baby fat so after every one of her children, she would put on a bit more. Over the years and the help with Antoine she grow to love self. Antoine was always her biggest cheerleader when it came to her body and even said that he though she was sexiest when she was pregnant. But sadly, people saying how good she looked, felt good to Aleksandra because it was something she never expected. She was always beautiful but never skinny enough. So she cut down her meals. But it didn't take long for her to realise her mistake to this and how weak her body has become but how she hates herself even more now then she never did before.

(Antoine was aware of Aleksandra going into hospital and the conversation when he said 'how your injury' was because that is what the public believed why Aleksandra wasn't currently playing football)

"I know, mon beau but remember that I will always love you doesn't matter what you weight is. I just want you to happy and healthy in your body that I adore so much." Antoine said.

"How comes that you always now the right thing to say?" Aleksandra said.

"I only ever say what I think. You are always telling me to not listen to what other people are saying so I'm just giving you your own advice." Antoine said.

"I love you, you know that."

"I too with my whole heart."

Once again, Antoine pulled on Aleksandra chin so it brought her face closer to his before kissing her lips. It was a soft and gentle kiss. The couple pulled away and put their forehead together again than Aleksandra placed her lips back to Antoine. Afterwards she gave him a kiss on the check then pulled him into a hug. The couple should really trying to get to sleep as it was passed midnight but they enjoyed (missed) being in each other company. There didn't need to be no conversation between them. Just holding each other was enough.

"Mon beau." Antoine said and Aleksandra felt out a soft humming sound as her way to saying yes, I am listening. The two of them still hugging each other. "You think I Will be good enough for the World Cup."

"That is a hard question to answer but my answer is yes. And before you saying that I am being biased. I am saying this from a football perspective and not a wife opinion. I think you are of the best player because of you ability to change moves and change positions. So many players can only seem to play in one position but that doesn't matter to you because you can play in them all. It is a fantastic talent to have. I also think that you have been highly miss treated and it angry me now thinking about it. People Will be sorry for the way they treated you. But not only that but I am proud of you and to us, to me and your children we will still love and they will still think you are the best footballer whatever happens in the tournament." Aleksandra explained to her husband. Everything she said was true.

She hates the way Antoine now always puts himself down when it comes to football. One mistake and he so cruel to himself. He never was cocky but she does miss the belief he once had in himself. But they are both missing a small part of the other person that has changed.

"They really said that I am the world class football player?" Antoine asked.

"Of course they do. Yes, a big factor of it is that you are their dad but doesn't change the fact in their eyes that you are the best. Roman really doesn't like enjoy watching football but he always asks 'Mama when can we watch Papa play?' Or 'Papa on telly?'." Aleksandra said.

"I feel so nervous about it. You know how I wanted to leave the French team and I don't want to let anyone down. Not my team or my manager. Exactly not Didier, who seems to be the only person apart from you who still believes in my ability as a football player." Antoine said.

"Maybe, you should use that fear to prove to yourself that you still a good football player. You need to believe in yourself again and you are already halfway there. But Antoine you also need to remember that a big reason why you wasn't a good as normally was you had a bad injury and you keep on getting injured but how mistreated you was by the staff and the fan and the new paperwork. Everyone was bring you down so it's only natural for you to lose that self confidence." Aleksandra said and Antoine stayed silent, thinking over everything had said.

A small sigh came from Antoine because this wasn't the first time he had this conversation with Aleksandra about his feelings about his football abilities. A part of him wished that she would just say he shit like everyone else but every time she is always able to see the best. But never blames Antoine in how he has done down in football skill.

"I haven't told you but FIFA is playing me to do some interviews and reporting. Don't worry, they have put me down to interview the France games so I never miss them." Aleksandra told Antoine.

"I best be on my best behaviour then." Antoine said and gave Aleksandra a wink.

It wasn't the first time Aleksandra has done football interviews for big tournament. She first did it in Russia, World Cup 2018. She was interviewing Antoine and that the end of the interview, he gave her a kiss on the lips. However there was so much backlash from it. Which both Aleksandra and Antoine though was so silly because it was a peck. It wasn't like they fully make out.

"No kissing for you." Aleksandra joking said.

"I think the whole thing is unfair. I can't help it if my wife is the most beautiful woman and I want to kiss her. Plus, I wasn't a fan at how some plays was flirting with her." Antoine said. She hates it when he says comments like this.

She knew what he was talking about as well. It was the famous interview with her and Neymar. She was interviewing Neymar and it is no super that he was flirting with her, it's  Neymar. But at the end of the interview he gave her a wink before walking away. Afterwards there was even a new paper article about how Aleksandra was going to leave Antoine for Neymar.

"You promise that you will be able to see all my games." Antoine asked.

"I promise." Aleksandra said.

But it wasn't the first time that Aleksandra would break a promise that she was meant to keep. Let hope that she will able to keep this one and they won't be a repeat of Euro 2020, where she missed a France game and how upset Antoine was. The goal he scored was not only import to Antoine to France because it keep them in the tournament.

***

Happy Christmas Eve (if you celebrate)!!

I can't tell you how much that I adore
writing this book. I am so in love with Aleksandra and Antoine!!

I plan on doing a fun chapter where Aleksandra rates all of Antoine hairstyles!

Hope you are all staying safe and well!