Dalia opened the letter she received from Tom. She closed her eyes and wished he was with her, sharing his experience and taking her for long walks. Above all, she wished she could be with him to see what he was seeing and the joy that filled his heart. She opened the letter:

"Dear Dalia,
I write this letter from the joy that has filled my heart. I wish you were here to see the beautiful places in Spain. I have travelled to every state I can think of and believe me when I say that they are wonderful people here.
How is your family? I often think about you Dalia and all the wonderful things you have taught me. I can't wait to be back home with more news of my amazing adventures. Until then, be safe.
Tom Mihls

Dalia folded the letter. She took in a deep breath of fresh air and walked into her room. She pulled the little box she always saved Tom's letters and placed the recent one on top of the other pile. She pulled out the other box that contained her mother's letters to her. She turned the contents on the rug of her room and picked the letter dated for her thirteenth birthday. She sat by the edge of her bed and read the letter.

"My dear Dalia,
Happy thirteenth birthday. I don't think words will justify how much I'm proud of your growth, though I'm not here to witness it. I can imagine the joy you have given my papa, Leah and your father.
Enclosed inside this envelope is a locket with memories I want you to have; beautiful, graceful and full of smiles. May each birthday after now be as wonderful as the lady you've grown up to be.
I love you my princess, always have and always will.

She turned the envelope over and the locket fell. On the left side of the locket was a picture of her papa and mama laughing and on the right was a baby photo of her. She held the locket to her chest and smiled. She wished her mother was there to see her achievements and her devoted love of God.

**********
Collonie

Then

Grace sat down by the window of the house she shared with Victor, quill in her hand and the little box of ink she had preserved over the months. She thought for a while and then began writing:

"Dear brother,
I hope this message finds you well. This is the fourth letter I have sent you with no response.
I need your help. I know that I said things I can't take back and I can't change the past either.You can be angry with me forever but I have a daughter who is three years old and I was hoping you will take her in for now until the dust settles with my husband and I.
My strength fails me daily and I do not want her to see me break down. If you still have compassion for your little sister, you will help me."
Grace.

Grace folded the letter, dressed up and went to Leah. "Is she asleep?" she asked. Leah nodded.

"That's good. I need to deliver this to Thomas before he goes to town, then I'll see Father Walsh before I head back home. Do you think you can manage without me for a few hours? I promise not to stay too long before Victor comes home."

Leah patted the back of her palm, "Go. I'll look after her. Be safe and God's speed." Grace smiled again and walked away.

"Do you need a glass of water?" Father Walsh asked and handed her a pack of tissue.

Grace nodded a yes and sniffed into the tissue. "I know this is between me and my husband Father but I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like a prisoner in my home and I need to get away but I can't," she dropped the tissue in the basket.

Father Walsh pulled his seat closer to his table and folded his palm on it. "My dear Grace, with everything you have said, you are a strong lady. I haven't seen your family in church since your mother died and it saddens me to see you like this. Your father is a dear friend of mine. Surely you must have discussed this with him too."

Grace withdrew her hands from the table and looked down, "I haven't spoken to my father since I married Victor. My family and I are estranged, especially with my brother Luke who probably hates me."

"Hate is a strong word Grace. He _"

"You don't understand Father. I said things to Luke I can't take back and I wish I could."

Father Walsh sighed. "Let's start from the beginning of your first meeting with Victor."
Grace sipped the water and smiled, "I was young then Father, barely twenty when I saw him," She paused and sipped the water again as Father Walsh listened, "I was head over heels in love with him and Victor knew this, for he had come a month after to marry me. Everyone was against it except me. I stood my ground and two weeks later, I married Victor and left with him. I was stubborn back then and it's too late for me now Father. We have a daughter together and she is the reason my heart is filled with love for Victor. She needs both her parents and what kind of a mother will I be if I deprived her of her father?"

"The type that is willing to protect her,"Father Walsh added.

Grace looked up in surprise. "Father, are you saying_"

"I'm not saying anything Grace. I am simply saying I care about my flock and if a shepherd is cruel to his flock, he is not fit to herd them, lest he feeds them to the beast one by one. It's up to you Grace what you make of my illustration but be careful and wise in your dealings. You have a daughter. Always put her first before making decisions." He got up, "I have to prepare for evening service. Would you like to stay?"

Grace smiled. "No Father, not today but thank you for your wise counsel." She got up.

"Grace," he called, "God has a plan for each of us. He doesn't forget His children"

"And what is His plan for me Father?" she asked.

"You must discover what yours is."

"God has forgotten me but I pray He doesn't forget my little girl. She doesn't deserve to carry my sin."

**************

The night was pitch black as the wind blew violently indicating the sign of a storm. Grace covered her daughter Dalia with the woolly blanket on the wooden chair in the room. The light burned steady inside the lantern, unmoved by the gush of wind that blew open the window made of wood. Grace walked to the window and forced it shut. Lightening brightened the sky, followed by the loud rumble of thunder and the rains began to drop heavily on the roofs. Dalia laid still, hands outside the blanket, staring at the lantern.

"Why is the sky angry?" She asked her mother who sat beside her with a book, ready to read her a bedtime story.

"She is crying sweetheart," she responded with a smile and pulled the blanket up to her neck. She pulled the chair closer to the wooden bed and brought the light closer.

"Why is she crying? Did she get hurt?" She curiously asked again, listening to the thunder rumble louder.

"I don't know my dear. I believe she is crying tears of joy. She is watering the Earth so that I can make you breakfast tomorrow," she tickled her daughter and she giggled. Grace opened the book and began reading the story to Dalia. Looking at the little girl slowly drift to sleep made her smile, admist the tears gathering in her eyes.

Grace closed the book and stared at Dalia as she slept soundly, forgetting the rain that was pouring loudly on the roof. She buried her head in her arms and wept. Her life was miserable as it was but putting Dalia in danger wasn't part of what she'd planned for her child.

"If you choose to have this baby Grace, then it'll be your fault what happens to her," he'd told her and walked out. Grace sat on the floor of the little cabin and cried, her stomach too protruded to hide. She stayed withdrawn from the rest of her family who'd kept their distance since she married Victor.

She could hear her father's voice in her head You're too stubborn for your own good Gracey, he had said when she came to pack her bags to leave with Victor. She had heard those words before. Too stubborn for your own good.
Her baby's birth hadn't come easy. She felt life draining from her as the nurse told her to push. She was certain she won't live to see her baby or both of them won't live to see the next day. In her pain, she pictured her family waiting in the hallway to welcome her baby but she knew the lies the images brought and tears fell from the corner of her eyes as she pushed harder.

"Congratulations Grace. It's a baby girl," she said and smiled.

"Thank God," she heaved a sigh of relief.

"Would you like to hold her?" she asked again, turning with the baby to hand her over.

Grace held her and cried. Her baby had Victor's gray eyes. "He'll love you baby," she kissed her forehead. She was wrong. Victor was furious.

"I told you Grace. I told you," he rambled on in anger, pacing the room as she watched in horror. She had no doubt in her heart that he wasn't the man she fell in love with. This man was cold and heartless.

"Babies can hear, you know," Leah, the woman living next door said as she had listened to them arguing loudly. She walked into their room and went to Grace. "Let me hold her," she offered and Grace obliged. Victor walked out of the room, banging the door almost off its hinges. Grace bowed her head as she was too weak to argue or refuse aid. Leah sang songs to the baby as Grace watched with a smile on her face. "Does she have a name?"
She nodded and laid down on the bed.

"Her name's Dalia."

Victor walked into the room the next morning, a stem of daisy in his hand and stood by the door looking at Grace in her long sleeve blue shirt, two buttons were down from her neck exposing her cleavage, the shirt tucked into her brown floral skirt and sandals on her leg. Her hair was tied in a messy bun with few strands falling on her face. He stared at her beauty, the grip of the baby's hand round her finger and the smile she gave. The baby kicked and sucked at her other thumb. Grace looked at her and saw Victor. A tear dropped from her eyes onto the blanket in the crib and the baby stared in awe.

"She's beautiful," he interrupted the silence.
She turned and quickly wiped the corner of her eyes with the back of her palm. The baby jerked and started crying, stretching her hands for Grace to pick her up.

"May I?" he offered and she hesitated, then gave him room, her eyes following him to the baby. He looked at her and something inside him sparked for a bit. He was smiling, Grace noticed and it brought relief to her heart. He picked up the child and rocked her quietly in his arms.

"What's her name?" He turned to Grace.

"Dalia. Her name's Dalia."

"She is beautiful," he said and kissed her forehead. Dalia twirled a bit and slowly, her eyes drifted to sleep, hand gripping his finger tight. He walked to the crib and laid her down.

Turning to Grace, he looked at her for a while. She turned her back to walk out when he held and pulled her to himself.

"I'm sorry Grace. I shouldn't have gone that far. It's just," he paused and touched her face, shifting the strand of hair from her forehead, "I'm scared. Scared that I will be a terrible father, just like my father. I'm scared that I'm not good enough for you. I'm scared that you'll leave me."

Grace stared into his eyes and touched his face. "I won't leave you. I love you. You're nothing like your father. You'll be a better father to her," she kissed him and he kissed back. When he let go, he gave her the stem of daisy.

Grace knew at once that she was with child again. She panicked and looked in the mirror of the room. Victor was away on business. She looked at Dalia, now two years old, dragging her gown and stretching her hands for her mother to pick her up. She looked at the little girl and memories of her first pregnancy, Victor's reaction, the emptiness she felt and fear gripped her chest so hard, she thought she won't breathe. Dalia started crying and Grace was pulled from her dark thoughts. She lifted the young girl and threw her up. She laughed, wanting more.

"You're adding a lot of weight Dalia," she smiled at the girl.

"I love you mummy," she rambled in a child's words and held onto her neck tight in an embrace.

Grace sobbed quietly and wished she wasn't pregnant. She knew Victor's fear and how that fear brought his temper out. And she was right.

"You're doing this on purpose Grace. I see what you're doing," he yelled at her. Dalia stood behind the door and cried. Leah walked up to her and heard the yelling and argument.

"Come with Aunt Leah, Dalia," she stretched her hand and the little girl followed quietly.

"You think I did this on purpose? You think this is all my fault? You won't let me breathe in peace at the mention of children but you are always eager to lay with me, like it's the only thing I'm capable of doing." She sighed, 'I want children, playmates for our daughter and comfort in our old age" Grace said. She sat on the edge of the bed, holding her stomach and breathing pace by pace. Victor walked around the room, rubbing his head.

"I can't have another baby. I'm trying to be a good father to Dalia. I haven't mastered the art of fatherhood and you're about to give me another one. For Christ sakes Grace. Don't you understand?" He sat down far from her and looked out the window. For a while, Grace thought of laughing children around her just like her childhood and her determination to keep her baby grew stronger in her heart. Victor picked his hat and walked out. Doing what you do best, you run away. Coward! Grace looked through the window, watching him in the darkness of night until he blended with it. She turned and laid still, listening to the chirping of crickets, the frogs croaking and the wind whistling softly.

Grace miscarried her second baby. She felt pain surging through her abdomen and shooting round her body as she knelt down. She crawled with the blood stain on her dress till she got to the front door. She remembered an elderly woman running towards her and then nothing.

"Will she be alright?" Leah asked, mopping her forehead.

"She will be fine. She lost a lot of blood and she is very weak. She needs lots of rest. Is she married?"
The vein dog will be glad to hear this!

"She is but her husband is away on business," She answered.

"He needs to be here to care for her. She will need all the support and love." The doctor packed up his equipment into the worn out leather bag he brought and walked out.
He only loves her in bed, that wild animal she thought to herself.

"Think of Dalia, Grace. Think of your little girl and get better." Leah mopped her head more. Dalia peeped through the slightly opened door and watched Leah soaking towel into the bowl beside her and placing it on her mother's head. Leah caught sight of her.

"Come in little one. Mummy needs her sleep and when she wakes up, she wants to see you." She rubbed her black silk hair that was tied plaited into two pigtails and pink ribbons decorating the tip of the hair. Dalia sat close to her mother and held her hand, tracing the lines in her palm and trying to hold her tears so her mother won't wake up.

Victor walked into the room that night, dripping of water from the rain that had started on his way home. He pulled his black coat and hung his hat. The room was dark and the window was open. The breeze swept through the room, causing goosebumps to appear on his skin. Victor rushed to the window and closed it, cursing Grace under his breath. He lit the matchstick and the lantern began to burn. Turning to the bed, he saw Dalia sleeping close to Grace and Leah, face down on the bed. Grace lay still, like she was dead, blood stain on her leg. He rushed towards her and Leah woke up startled.

"What happened Leah?" He looked at Grace, "Why is she in this state?" He touched her forehead. "She is burning up."
Dalia woke up and started crying. Leah pulled the young child to her.

"She had a miscarriage. The doctor said she needed to rest as she lost a lot of blood."

"Oh Grace," he looked at her body on the bed. She had lost blood and her cheek bone stood out visibly. Her lips were almost without colour.

"She will be fine. Stay with her. I'll get water and a clean towel too. Her temperature has to be stable. I'll also get more herbs and water. She can't be dehydrated." Leah took Dalia along with her. Grace stirred on the bed and Victor held her hand tight.

"Oh Grace. I'm sorry Grace. This is all my fault."

"I'll be fine. I'm sorry too. I know how hard it must have been for you to learn of another baby," she held his hand. When will you learn to stop giving excuses for his sorry attitude?

"You have to get better Grace. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you," he sobbed. Tears flowed from the corner of her eyes into her brown hair. She smiled and closed her eyes again.

Morning mass gave Grace happiness. She hadn't been inside the church for months and needed the fellowship. Victor was the opposite. He hated Sundays. He thought people did wrong on weekdays, drank away their lives and ended up in church to pray on Sunday. He didn't want to be part of hypocrisy. Grace didn't try to convince him. This Sunday, she wasn't enthusiastic to go to mass but Dalia had caught a fever in the night and she had been up mumbling words she told herself were prayers for her child's health. She remembered her mother praying when she was sick while her father placed his hand on her shoulder and mouthed Amen. She dressed her in a deep pink gown with light pink net floral and walked out the door.Victor stopped her.

"Where are you taking her?" He asked, his brows raised in a frown. He saw the hymnal in her hands and laughed sarcastically. "She needs a doctor Grace."

"We can't afford one but we can afford the big man, free of charge." She turned her child to her other hand.

"God!" He smirked. "Where was God when we lost our child? Where was God when I almost lost you? Where was God when the man I call father beat my mother to death with a stool cause he couldn't pull me from under her. He never loved her or me and he killed her. He beat her up and left her helpless. Where was God then?"

"I don't know what to say Victor," she sounded defeated. His question made her wonder where God was when her mama died and her papa lost all purpose of living and she thought she would lose him too.

"Please Grace," he walked towards her, "don't be fooled. Stay. I'll get the doctor."

Author's Note
Thank you for starting this book with me and thank you for reading.
I'm sorry it's long... WPS has a way of making things look small or short so please bear with me.

Kindly drop your opinions please. If it is long, please let me know in the comment section and I'll work on it. Thank you.