note: I've been waiting to write and post this chapter for so long. I can't wait to see your reactions. Comment your thoughts/feedback and do vote if you liked this chapter. Enjoy! <3 

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London did not look forward to Andrew returning home.

That was not something she expected herself to feel but if he came home she'd have to go through with the confrontation. They were going to talk things out tonight but in the back of her mind, she knew that tonight would not end well and the dread of facing him was eating at her. She wished they could somehow erase the last few days, take back the words they said that questioned their relationship, but she couldn't do that to herself.

She deserved an honest, two-way relationship and if she did not get what she deserved she should do something about it.

There was a knock on her apartment door and soon after her phone buzzed with a message. Her nerves spiked as she took a look at her phone to see that Andrew had texted her, letting her know that he was right outside her door.

Breathing in and out, she collected herself, smoothened a hand down the red dress she took almost an hour to pick out, and walked to her door. Putting on a smile, she opened the door to find Andrew, a bottle of wine in hand and a box of chocolates in the other.

He smiled and she almost forgot why she was angry at him. "I was going to get you flowers but I knew you would love it if I got you chocolates instead."

"And expensive wine," she chuckled nervously, looking up at him through her lashes. Tentatively, they both closed the distance between them. She kissed him, softly — slowly. He tasted of mint, like he had a stick of chewing gum before. He smelled like him. He felt warm. She wanted to sink into him, to drag her hands through his hair and get lost into him but she resisted, kissing him one last time before pulling back.

"I missed you," she whispered, her fingers brushing against his grown stubble, that almost looked like a beard. There was no denying that the beard made him look even sexier, making her hands itch for more.

"Me too," he replied hoarsely, dipping his head for more.

She shifted her head. His lips brushed against her cheek. Her heart dropped when she looked back at him to see his surprised and heavy-hearted face.

"Let's have dinner."

Dinner went by faster than she'd anticipated but with conversation scarce — the tension in the room was so thick anybody would be able to notice it — they spent most of the dinner eating rather than talking, which was not how most of their dinners went. They had never been awkward with each other and this unwelcome tension was making her stomach riot with uncontrollable nerves.

"Andrew," she said, when dinner was over and they each had a glass of that expensive wine he'd bought over. "We need to talk."

He huffed, placing down his glass on the coaster on her coffee table. "All right," he said, then gave London a half-smile. "I've been nervous for this."

"Me too," she agreed, letting herself smile too.

She took a moment to take in his face. His smile was lovely as always, making her own lips reflect his. His eyes were warm pools of brown that she could get lost in. His kindness made her heart soft. The way he was with his daughter made her admire him even more. He was strong-willed and his determination to fight for what he wanted made her love him all the more. She loved him not despite, but in spite of, the fact that he hated to cook, something she could not survive without doing. She loved him even when he was making her heart ache. She loved him even when he refused to part ways with that ugly wedding ring. She loved him.

She loved Andrew.

I love you, she wanted to say right there and then.

"How was Ipswich?" she asked, her hand sliding over his. "Really. Not the bullshit version."

He swallowed. His eyes zeroed on their hands as he adjusted their hands so his thumb could stroke the back of her hand. "It made me feel so lost."

His words felt raw and honest with how throaty his voice was. The tension that hung heavily in the room cleared slightly to give way to something even sadder. Her heart broke looking at him like this, but her heart had been breaking ever since Talia moved and took Aurora with her.

It had affected Andrew more than either of them imagined it would, ergo affecting London.

"Are you ready to talk about Talia, our relationship and your old ring?" London asked, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

He nodded.

"Okay then," she breathed, "Talk."

"I know you're frustrated with me extending my stay with Talia and Simon and I do feel like my vacation days were used up in vain because I got nowhere with Talia. You were right. She's frustrating me and I hate that she has the most control in all this. I loved seeing Aurora and spending time with her. I can't describe what it meant seeing her after a whole week and having her in my arms. Her little hugs are the best. She sends you one and says hi."

He looked at London, a breathy laugh passing his lips as his eyes glossed over. "I know I can't go over every weekend and that makes me so angry. I tried talking about it with Talia, trying to make her understand that I can't make it there every weekend, that the travel is unreasonable but I'd do it anyway if it was the only way to see my daughter. She understands. I know she does, but they're in a whole other town now. There's nothing I can do. I mentioned spending the summer with me and said I could spend a few days with Aurora but she had plans with Aurora in the summer too and it wasn't fair if I got all the other days. But how does that make sense when she gets to have Aurora almost all the time? I made no progress with her."

He looked back down at their hands and he brushed his thumb over the back of her hand again, the feathersoft touch sending tingles through her body. "Is this the part where I say I told you so?" she teased, getting out a somewhat strangled laugh from him.

Catching her eyes again, he leaned forward and she accepted the kiss, angling her head so his lips slid over hers. He kissed one corner of her mouth and then the other. Pecking her lips one last time he pulled back. She wanted to tell him to continue, to spend their night kissing every inch of each other but that was not right — not when there was a giant elephant that took up room between them; not when she knew she was going to end this night sooner than he'd hoped.

"I never intended to put Talia before you," he apologised. "I didn't think that was what I was doing but I do realise that I spend a lot of time arguing with her and trying to make my relationship with her work more than I focus on our relationship. I knew it would be worthless to use up those vacation days but I had to try. Talia refuses to see reason and I truly think she just wants to separate me from my daughter. We signed on joint custody. But this is not what I signed up for."

"Andrew, baby" London whispered, removing her hand from his and cupping one side of his face. "Talia sees you as competition. It's what I think. And I don't think she's fit to raise Aurora at this point. I, of course, don't know much on the matter but from that dinner weeks ago, when she announced her engagement — she seems to be dealing with her own problems and I do understand why she'd want to move away from all of this but she made everything much more complicated. You deserve your daughter and right now I think you'd be the perfect parent for Aurora."

Andrew stared at her, thinking over his words. "What are you trying to say?" he asked, fully aware of what she was getting at.

Clarification was what he needed so she smiled softly, letting him lean further into her touch, "You're not fighting hard enough."

His eyes flashed. Her hand dropped as he moved away. "You more than anyone know I am giving my all," he rushed in defensively.

"You aren't," she disagreed, standing her ground.

"Are you shitting me? Why did you think I stayed in Ipswich this long? It wasn't just to see my daughter. It was because I was trying to—"

"Yeah, you've said it a hundred times now," London cut in, her patience thinning. "You want to work things out with Talia. You have this notion that if you get Talia to understand, to admit she understands, and to work things out, you three would have a perfectly healthy relationship. You're blind to the actual truth, Andrew. Talia is stubborn. You know that. So when the fuck are you going to wake up and accept that you won't have your past life anymore?"

All he could do was stare at her, angry, but she could tell that the reason he wasn't defending himself or trying to argue back was because she made sense. She spoke the truth, and hearing it was painful.

"And I'm still not fighting hard enough?" he croaked out and when his voice broke London felt guilty but she was done. She was done standing by and watching him ruin his life. She knew he deserved more. She knew she deserved more as well.

"All you do is complain and I understand how much this is all paining you but if you don't do anything you're just a man of words, not actions. You deserve your daughter so why aren't you fighting harder?" She swallowed. "Sole custody, Andrew. Don't you think it's time to think about that?"

His fingers began to fidget with his ring, a sign that he was nervous. Anger and disappointment only filled her when she caught sight of his ring. It sat heavily on his finger, worn for years, and it upset her that he couldn't part with it, that it held more sentiment to him, that it mattered more than her feelings did.

She did not like feeling this way. No, not one bit, and it was about time she put her foot down.

"Do you ever think you could take off that ring?" she asked. Her voice sounded gentle but there was a raging storm inside of her. She was certain Andrew could see it reflected in her eyes.

"London..."

"Just answer the damn question, Andrew."

He looked conflicted himself but she needed an answer from him. "Maybe. I don't know right now," he truthfully replied, reaching for her hand but she dodged it. "I don't know what to say. I don't know when I'll take it off. I know I can't do it now. I just can't let it go."

"Because you can't get over that notion of perfection," she told him, shaking her head. Her eyes prickled with tears and she did her best to keep them at bay. "Change is good. But you're not ready to move on and I don't know when you'll be. Do you think I'm comfortable with that? I know you don't love Talia. I know that but you wearing that ring — don't you realise what that represents, symbolises? Don't you understand how that makes me feel?"

"London," he pleaded, his voice hoarse as he reached for her again. This time she did not dodge his touch. "Don't do it."

Tears gathered in her eyes. "Andrew," she breathed, laughing but she didn't have the energy to keep up the smile. It quickly withered, and she tried her very best to stop her lips from wobbling and to get the words out. "After your failed marriage you wanted to take things slow because you need certainty. But I need certainty too and this — arguments that centre around your ex — is not what I want my relationship to be filled with. I want a solid relationship. I want that steadiness. I can't deal with this drama. I knew getting involved with you came with complications because you were just divorced and you had a kid and all these custody issues. But I got my heart involved anyway because something about you just drew me in."

London hiccuped. The tears had escaped her eyes and were now flowing down her face. "I want a life with you, Andrew Cai. But I'm not going to chase after a man who is not as committed to a relationship as I am. I've got better and bigger things to chase, like my dream of becoming a head chef, of running my own kitchen."

"London," he whispered, and she felt his breath on her face. His lips met hers and she kissed him hard and long, because she knew she wasn't going to get the chance to do it again. Her hands slithered into his hair and she gripped it, pulling him closer, urging him further. His tongue swiped the corner of her mouth, leaving her skin tingling. His arms held her, strong and firm, so unlike their relationship which was coming undone at the very seams. She tasted the salt in her mouth as they kissed and wondered if it was only her tears.

Panting, gasping for air, they leaned their foreheads against each others, eyes closed, savouring the moment, trying to make it stretch for however long they could. When his lips met hers again in a shorter but equally head-spinning, heart-wrenching kiss, more tears escaped her eyes.

"I love you, Andrew Cai."

She pulled back, eyes opening to see his eyes were glassy, a tear on his cheek. She hadn't ever seen him looking this conflicted before. Understanding dawned her when he couldn't say it back.

She nodded, giving him a tight-lipped smile that was supposed to show that she was all right but she knew he saw right through it. It was time to close this chapter in her life.

"Don't," he whispered, his voice breaking.

She wiped the stray tear off his face. "It's time we figured things out by ourselves and went our own ways."

"You deserve more than me," he agreed though his expression protested her very words as a shaky laugh passed his lips and kissed her open skin.

"I don't know," she shrugged, somewhat in disagreement. "Maybe I deserve you but I know I deserve more than you can give me right now."

The distinction didn't make it any easier.

She leaned in forward for one last kiss and he gave her one to remember. When she pulled away, she was smiling, no longer crying, but inside her heart was crushed. He saw right through her expression. He laughed, kissed her between her eyebrows and whispered, "You broke your promise."

His joking eyes met hers again. He was referring to the promise she'd made in bed, when she was cocooned against him. She promised she wouldn't leave, but here she was, doing exactly that.

"Promises are meant to be broken babe," she smiled but her lips wobbled instantly, the lie too over the line to handle.

"I admire that," he said instead, looking at her like she was the bravest, most selfless person when she was doing something so selfish right now. "You're putting yourself first. For you."

His arms came around her and she looped her arms around his neck, hugging her tight to him. There was so much said in that embrace. She didn't want to let go but she had to.

"Goodbye, Andrew Cai," she said.

She watched him walk away and once he turned down the corner of the corridor and she shut the door, she leaned against the door, all support over her legs lost as she fell to the ground, heart breaking as ugly silent sobs ripped through her.

Love always hurt.