note: surprise! Bringing the weekend to an end with a third update whooo! I wasn't going to update this chapter until Thursday but I've finally gotten back to the groove of writing this story (after being stuck on it ever since nano ended) and my flow is going great. I couldn't help but post this chapter. 

This chapter is important, to London's relationship with her sister and her issues with her mum. I'd love to hear your thoughts so please do drop them in the comments! 

*new note: I spotted a plot hole and so this chapter had to go under a little reconstruction. This is the revised version of the chapter. 

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Clutching the food parcel, London took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. She half expected for the door to open, for Gwen to hug her instantly and thank her for being there but instead, Inesh stood in her sister's place, a welcoming smile on his lips.

"London," he said, his face brightening at the sight of her. Inesh's voice was accented, only having moved from Sri Lanka a few years ago for work.

"Inesh," she greeted, "I brought these." She handed him the food parcel as he opened the door for her. "Do you mind warming them up?"

"No problem. Gwen said you were bringing food over. I love it when you bring food from Tollerz, that place is expensive," Inesh laughed, closing the door behind her. Then smiling softly, "I'll get the food and the wine. You know where to find Gwen."

On Gwen's low and moody days, she could be found in the guest bedroom, a room that Mum used when she came over to Porte Orlands to visit London and Gwen. Gwen and London moved to Porte Orlands for university since it was considerably cheaper and the education was good at the same time. Mum would visit them every so often and stay in the guest room. It was during Christmas break, when Gwen was in her last year and London in her second year, that life changed. The sisters had gone back to London to stay with their parents for a week, to enjoy Christmas and New Year's with them, but instead they'd had to live the horror that followed Christmas day.

When London returned back to Porte Orlands, keeping up with semester had proven to be arduous and when exams rolled around, the breakdowns doubled. Eleven months had passed since their mother's first suicide attempt that Christmas day and tragedy struck again, ten times worse. Her mother had attempted again, and succeeded. The breakdowns London had were unbearable then, and soon after she dropped out of university. The breakdowns rarely happened these days but London couldn't say that her life had improved over the span of the four years following her mother's death.

"Gwen," London said quietly, entering the room.

She hadn't been over to Gwen's place in a couple of weeks but noticed that the furniture had changed up on the way to the guest bedroom. Gwen loved change. She couldn't live without change — life was too bleak then, she'd told London once when London told her it was hard keeping up with her constant changes to her house.

"Hey," Gwen said, no trace of a smile. She was huddled in blankets and London felt cold too. When it was winter the guest bedroom always seemed to get colder than the rest of the house.

"Scoot over," London said, plopping down on the bed. "It's cold."

They sat there for a while, close together, warming each other up as they let the silence speak for them. It was only after Inesh popped into the room, lay down the reheated food, two wine glasses and what looked to be a pricey bottle of wine, plus two boxes of tissues, did the silence break.

"I've been shitting myself for the last four years," Gwen confessed the instant Inesh exited the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

London didn't even pretend to not know what Gwen was talking about. Instead of offering Gwen comfort, telling her that it was all right and it wasn't as bad as it seems, she sat quietly, looking at her sister like she felt a similar pain. The same pain. The truth was that it was not all right, it hadn't been for quite some time now, and it was as bad as it seemed. There was no use lying to her older sister.

"Which part?" London prodded finally when neither spoke for one long minute.

"About Mum's death. About her being suicidal. You and Dad accepted it. She got help and for a while, it helped but I didn't want to believe she was suicidal even after the first accident. I was... stupid and nothing can excuse what I thought back then. I couldn't stop thinking about what you said at lunch the other day. I mean, you always hinted at it, saying that Mum's accident was not an accident without having to exactly say those words and I always brushed them aside because I wanted to believe that everything was okay, that she died because it was her time and it was the way God wished her to go but—"

Gwen stopped, a sob catching in her throat. London reached for the tissue box and handed it to her sister. Gwen grabbed a tissue, pressing it to her eyes.

"But it was Mum's own doing," London finished for her sister as her sister choked on a sob, new tears running down her pretty fair face.

"I wish we could have helped her more" Gwen said, the distraught so clear in her face but London knew that it was not yet time to embrace her sister. She still had to get it all out of her system.

"Mum was pretty out of it when we went to visit her. She barely called us and we didn't get much time to call her. It was December! I was busy studying and having exams and so were you. I was looking so much towards Christmas break so that we could crash at our parents and just chill. It would have been the perfect way to unwind from such a hectic time. It was my final year too and while I had fewer lectures to go to I had so many more notes and so much of individual study to cover up for. I was stressed."

Gwen looked down at her hands clutching the soft blanket. "We got home, she smiled, Dad smiled. Everything seemed the same. But it wasn't. Dad and Mum were fighting. Mum was acting a bit off. None of us had asked if she was taking her depression medication anymore, none of us asked how her session went when she went out to what we all assumed was her therapist's office. We noticed but we didn't speak up sooner."

She hiccupped, more tears streaming down her face. "And then, Christmas night, everything almost ended. Eleven months later, one late November night, Dad calls us crying because Mum got into an accident. You and Dad kept saying it was suicide because she left a... goodbye note behind but I refused to believe it. You guys knew I was sensitive about the subject so you kept hinting it but we never really spoke about it. I don't know why I was in denial all these years. I—"

London inched closer, wrapping her arms around her sister, hugging her close. Gwen was beautiful, once hating her own ethnicity and skin, but growing to love it and herself for who she was over the years. Gwen was strong willed. She stood her ground. There was a reason why no one bothered to bully her during their secondary years. London was nothing like Gwen. She was quite the opposite of her sister and while her sister's hot-headedness did get on her nerves they were close to each other — when they were younger. Now there was a wedge between them, ever since the passing of their mother.

This felt like that wedge was dissolving, that there was no longer a space between them.

"I miss her," London confessed as if she were telling a secret. It was something that she said often, that she missed her mother, but something about this situation and telling it to Gwen made it different. It made her want to cry.

Gwen squeezed her. "Me too, London."

London pulled away and reached for the bottle. Inesh was kind enough to have it opened for them and plucking the two wine glasses from the tray, she asked Gwen to help her pour the drinks. When that was settled and they each had a glass in their hands, Gwen confided in London how guilty she felt.

"It makes me feel like a terrible daughter," Gwen sighed, dabbing the underside of her eyes. "I should have said something. Seriously, it wasn't so hard to ask Mum if she was doing all right, if her medication was good or if it had switched in the last couple of months. I should have asked how her sessions were going, if she ever had that feeling from December but..."

London didn't tell her otherwise. That was exactly how she had felt. She asked herself those questions almost on a daily basis. Why didn't she prod Mum when she noticed there was something off? Why did she have to be so invested in relaxing by herself in the comfort of her parent's house without having the courtesy of asking her mother how she was doing. Why didn't she call her mother more often after the first incident? She saw the fake smile and yet dismissed it. Exam stress had taken away all her energy and she couldn't be bothered. And November, during her second year, when exam time was near yet again and her mother's second attempt was successful... she should have said something, done something. Maybe that would change where they were today but at that time she couldn't be bothered with her mother because university was taking up a large portion of her time and it was extremely taxing. 

She should have been very bothered.

Because one late November night, eleven months after her first attempt, their mother ended up dead. Not accidentally. Voluntarily. And in the most gruesome of ways.

Gwen didn't have to ask London if she felt the same things as she did. London's silence could be precisely interpreted as that — they felt the same way.

"I'm sorry," Gwen apologised, taking a sip of her wine before setting it aside on the bedside table. "That day I should have been more understanding. It's was Mum's death anniversary and we usually go visit her grave together but — I know it's no excuse but I'm tired of having Mum's death always have this great heavy cloud following us. For me, it was easier to ignore but London, I've seen you, and you let it affect everything in yourself. It hurts watching you being stuck."

London frowned, not expecting this to land on her, though she should have known. With Gwen the discussion would always direct back to how lonely and how crappy London's life was — how bleak and uneventful. Gwen had tried to take London out on numerous of occasions, tried to lift her sister's spirit but London, who had guilt weighing heavily down on her shoulders, didn't feel like she was privy to such benefits and she silently watched her sister enjoy her life. She thought it was unfair how easily her sister had moved on and there she was, stuck in the past, but it turned out that her sister hadn't moved on. She'd merely bottled it all up and London thought that was much worse. Gwen's next few days were not going to be chipper at all.

"Gwen," she started, looking back at her wine glass and taking a huge gulp. "I didn't come here to talk about me—"

"I get why you're stuck, London," Gwen said. "Sis, I get it now. I didn't before but after finally accepting Mum's death for what it really is, I understand why you feel like you don't quite have the right to enjoy life and make the best of it."

"Gwen," she sighed, jumping in before her sister's mouth carried her elsewhere, "I'm trying to but it's hard. I dropped out of uni, I have no degree and I'm trying to pursue my dream. It's not so profitable now and yes, I work in Tollerz which is a huge restaurant that only have a few chains around England but fancy enough that it has to be my only job to make a living. I'm barely scraping through. I want more. But I can't do that if I can't pay for culinary school. I'm saving up for it but it's going really, really slowly. And those men I meet in the pub — I know it's not a bad place to mingle. I know it isn't. But I'd rather get drunk in the quiet comfort of my flat. I don't want something fast. I want something slow, something meaningful."

Gwen nodded, giving her sister time to breathe after going off like that. "I get that, I totally do," she said after a pause, "but babe, life isn't going to get better if you don't do anything. You think you have bad luck. That you make the wrong choices. Well, make them and try to make the fucking most out of it when they do happen."

London was quiet, circling the edge of her glass with her finger. "There's this man that asked me out." Her voice was so quiet that if Gwen wasn't giving her sister her undivided attention she might have missed it.

Gwen squealed. "Tell me more. I demand to know the details."

"Here's the thing," London dragged out, "He's recently divorced. As in he just signed his papers yesterday morning."

"Holy shit."

She laughed. "That's one way to put it."

"Is he bitter about the divorce?" Gwen questioned, the curiosity not bothering to shy from her beautiful features.

"A little, yeah. It's because of his daughter—"

"Holy shit, there's a kid involved."

London frowned. "And?" She daringly looked at her sister.

Gwen shrugged. "I'm just saying," she defended, "For someone who says they'd rather be alone you seem to be into this guy."

"Well, I don't know if I fancy him exactly—"

"You do," Gwen finalised. "You wouldn't be bringing him up otherwise. My only advice would be to think of what you're getting to. This guy just got out of a divorce. He has a child and you said that he might be a little bitter about the divorce because of his daughter so I'm assuming the ex is not giving him as much freedom with his kid as he wants. He's probably emotional and going through a rough patch. You're going through your own stuff and you need to work through it. So think about that if you want to get involved." Gwen paused, pressing her lips together to try and think of a way to filter her thoughts. Her mouth often came without a filter. "If you think he's worth it, then go for it."

"Trust me," London said, finishing off her glass, "That's exactly what I've been thinking about. But I keep bumping into him and coincidence or not I feel something. I don't know what but it does funny things to my heart."

"There's your answer, London," Gwen said smilingly. "So what if this man is newly divorced and fresh out of a marriage? So what if he has a daughter? If he's bitter about the divorce because of his kid then honey, his kid must be really worth it and if you ever get to meet her you'll probably love her. You love kids anyway. Totally the opposite of me. If you feel it, stop second guessing and fucking act on it already."

London bit down on her lip, trying to conceal the giddy smile. "He asked me out on a date, right after he signed the papers."

Gwen squealed. London was glad she told her sister this. "And? What did you say?"

"I said yes."

Gwen squealed, laughing and hugging London.

"I had to cancel though."

Gwen stopped, pulling fully away to show her sister the disapproved frown on her face. "You chickened out?"

She hesitated before she spoke the truth. "We had plans tonight but you texted me and I couldn't ignore you."

Gwen was silent for a moment before she smiled. "London," she said, bringing her arms around her little sister, "I fucking love you. And I'm so glad you cancelled your plans for me."

London hugged her back tightly.

"But I swear to God," Gwen continued, "If you don't reschedule that date I'll do it for you."

London laughed, bumping her shoulder against her sister's.

"I'll keep you updated," London winked, but her smile quickly diminished when she spotted Gwen's bare ring finger.

"Gwen, where's your fancy ring?" London asked, picking up her sister's hand and fingering the bare place.

Gwen swallowed. "That afternoon wasn't so great," she said softly, "your words kept replaying in my head and even when you said congratulations I know you meant it but it felt like you were saying it just because that's the only thing you could say—"

"God, no," London said, feeling terrible instantly. Her intention was never to make her sister unhappy. "You know you have my blessing. Anyone that makes my sister smile and keep going has my respect. Inesh has my respect."

Gwen nodded, a small smile touching her lips. Though it was known it was always better to hear the words. "It's not just that. The major reason why I told Inesh no now was because he still needed to tell his mother. We've only met once and that was over a Skype call. They think he's not serious about me. They think marrying a Chinese woman is not the way it should be. They want him to marry a proper Lankan woman."

"Oh," London said, her mind blanking. She could not control the frown from showing on her lips.

"His parents are coming next week. He's flying them out for two weeks in England. He's going to meet them in London and show them around England, as fast as he can anyway, and the last day he's coming back here. And I'll have dinner with his family. I'll get to officially meet them and then we'll pop the question."

London smiled in encouragement. "They'll love you."

"What if they don't?"

"They will."

She sighed. "I really love him, you know."

"I know," London smiled back, giving her sister a side hug. "Now how about some food."

Gwen cast her gaze to the delicious food that London had brought from work. Leftover from Tellorz always tasted good. "It's cold," she said and then without any forewarning she screamed — "INESH!"

Two seconds later the door burst open and a panic-stricken man looked at them, worry written all over his face. When he saw that nothing had happened to the two women except that they looked somewhat lighter despite the redness under their eyes, his worry lessened and he looked confused.

"Do you mind reheating the food again, darling?"

He threw her an incredulous look before he looked at London and said, "You're sister never fails to give me near heart attacks."

"That's Gwenyth for you," London said, tipping her empty wine glass in his direction.

He chuckled, picking up the trays, calling out, "I'll be back in ten minutes," before closing the door behind him.

"And he," London started, cuddling up with her sister, "loves you."

Gwen blushed like she was new to this even though Inesh and her have been going strong for a year. "Oh, enough about me," she waved off, settling in with her sister after pouring another glass of the rich wine for the both of them. "Tell me more about this man you've met."

So London told her sister all about Andrew Cai — from how they met to how she landed a date with him.

Through it all, she could not stop smiling.