It was never great around this time of the year but when Gwenyth Xing Liang wanted to have lunch with her, there was no way she could decline her sister. Not when her sister barely ever gave her the time of the day anymore. 

Gwen and London had been inseparable when they were little children and when high school came their closeness was not on the same level but they were still good friends. The sisters may work on each other's last nerve but they loved each other and they eventually got along. There was nothing London kept secret from Gwen and there was nothing Gwen kept secret from London. They were the best of friends.

Everything changed when their mother died.

Her death was sudden, so unexpected that it took more than a couple of days for the news to sink into both the sisters. But it was enough to draw a wedge in between them. Death was said to bring people closer together but for the sisters, who had been close to begin with, the death of their mother only managed to drive them apart.

Today, out of all days, was not a good day, but London was not willing to sacrifice her chance at lunch with her sister just because of that. No matter how valid today was, perhaps it was better to spend it with her sister. After all, who better else to understand her pain and grief other than her mother's oldest daughter?

Gwen had always gotten the special treatment, was always treated the better of the two sisters. At home and even when they both went to school. But it wasn't something London actually minded. She didn't live in her sister's shadow. The two sister were far from being alike and London often preferred being the less noticable of the two. She didn't crave attention like Gwen did. She couldn't be happier that the spotlight fell onto Gwen.

"London!"

She whirled in her seat when the sound of her name caught her ear. There was no way anyone was going to miss that loud voice and she smiled when she saw her sister walking towards her.

Gwenyth Liang wore a red short plaid dress, her lips coated in bright red lipstick and with her dark black hair flying with the light breeze, London had to admit that her sister looked amazing.

"Damn girl," London exclaimed, her eyebrows raised at her sister. "You're all dolled up. And you're looking really chirpy today. Did I miss something?"

Today was no day to smile but it wasn't something that could be helped when she saw her sister, especially if her sister seemed to be this happy.

"I've got exciting news," Gwen said, her grin wide and uncontrollable.

"On a day like this?" London questioned, eyebrows furrowed. She was never the one to call out Gwen but her sister was always straightforward and while that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, sometimes it made her seem insensitive.

"Yes!" Gwen didn't even know what London had meant by that question.

"Well," London said, wearily now, "What's the exciting news?"

Gwen squealed, thrusting her hand in front of London's view. "I got engaged!"

London stared at the delicate diamond ring that sat on her finger, a mixture of happiness, guilt and jealousy evident on her features but in all of Gwen's enthusiasm, her sister failed to catch London's mixed feelings. "Inesh finally popped the question?"

"More like I popped the question," Gwen giggled. "I told you that we talked about marriage before and with his mother pressuring Inesh to marry the perfect Sri Lankan girl, Inesh couldn't break it to her that his relationship with me was serious. I doubt his mother wants him to get married to a Chinese woman but I mean, he loves me and I love him, so I told him I wanted to get married and I'll wait until he's ready. He said he needs time to think of a way to make his parents give us their blessings but he'll definitely put a ring on it." She wiggled her finger, the light bouncing off that beautiful diamond ring.

"That's great. I'm glad everything's working out for you," London told Gwen.

"Yeah? Why don't you look it then?" So, Gwen had noticed.

London wanted to be happy for her older sister. She really did. But how was she to do that when her mind kept circling to that rainy evening, four years ago.

"Gwen," London sighed. "This is an amazing moment for you and I totally appreciate you wanting me to be one of the first ones to know. You wouldn't have done it today otherwise—"

"Today?" Gwen echoed. "Why do you keep mentioning today?"

London paused, her eyes catching her sister's. In disbelief London could only stare and when Gwen raised her eyebrows at her, questioning what the whole fuss was about, London laughed breathily but it was far from happiness or amusement.

"Really, Gwen?" London prodded. "Have you forgotten, on this day, four years ago, Mum died. Have you forgotten how she died?"

Any light that was in Gwen's eyes were snuffed out by her younger sister's comment. It took her a few moments to reply and London knew why she was quiet — Gwen didn't know how to reply without making herself sound like an inconsiderate, insensitive bitch.

"No," said at last, settling for one obvious word.

"You sure as hell act like it."

"I could never forget that night, London," Gwen said, a frown pulling on her lips as she sat forward. "I remember it. I remember coming home and finding Dad having a breakdown and you just rocking on the chair, your eyes vacant as if you were far far away. Dad and you reaction scared me and when you finally managed to pull you out of your daze you broke the news to me about the accident. I remember getting Dad on his feet, getting him into the car and driving us to the scene. I remember — I remember her bloody body. How ugly and mutilated and violated it looked. I cannot forget. I want to and it kills me that I can't forget."

London's eyes burned, Gwen's words causing a quick reaction within her. She agreed to lunch because she barely ever saw Gwen and she didn't want to be alone today. Gwen would understand why today was so hard. But here she was, gushing about her engagement.

"You never even made plans to go to the cemetery," London muttered, her words accusatory, "We do that every year."

Gwen sighed, drawing back and leaning on her chair. "I want to live a normal life, London," she confessed and while the sadness in her eyes did make London feel sad herself, she was still angry at her sister. How did Gwen have it so easy and she didn't?

"So do I, but I can't keep thinking that it was just an accident—"

"I'm going to stop you there," Gwen cut off London sternly. "It was just an accident—"

"There was no other car!" London exclaimed, fisting her hands under the table. "It was dark, yes, but she couldn't have just drove off that road and hit a tree. She would have to be driving at full speed if she wanted the impact to injure her in anyway and it killed her. Mum never drives above the speed limit—"

"She did not want to commit suicide!"

London, the one who usually cared about prying eyes, was not bothered when a few heads turned at Gwen's controversial acclamation. Instead she sighed and whispered, "Mum had depression and she wasn't right those last couple of weeks. We kept telling her off, to stop being so paranoid and annoying and to just take her damn meds. But she needed us. She stopped therapy and none of us knew, not even Dad. Dad and Mum haven't been happy all the time but Mum's tried so hard and we both know Dad didn't want to break her heart. He feels guilty. I feel so fucking guilty. Why don't you feel anything, Gwen?"

London was crying now. It could not be helped. Throughout her short speech her eyes burned with an intense heat as her older sat there, listening to her go on. Gwen's stony face had not once twitched.

"It was an accident," Gwen whispered, her voice throaty this time.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

Gwen looked at her younger sister, her steely gaze gave nothing away and it only managed to make London feel guilty for bringing up the topic. She should have known better. "London, can we please just have a civil lunch for once?"

London laughed, soft but it lacked context and the laugh only made it all the more heartbreaking. "Thanks for inviting me for lunch," she began as she rose to her feet. "I bet it would have been lovely if we actually got to it. And congratulations on getting engaged. Groom is a very lucky man. I'm happy for you. Really, I am," she added when she caught the dismayed but also sceptical look on her sister's face. "But I can't do this right now. I don't have the energy. Not on a day like this."

She waited for Gwen to say something, to stop her from leaving but when no words of resistance came her way, when Gwen didn't beg — had she ever? — London sighed and smiled rightly, her eyes missing out the light. "Call me later?"

Gwen nodded and London smiled, more sincere this time before she bid adieu. She wasn't in the mood for an argument, especially when her emotions were extremely fragile. Not today. So she looked forward to Gwen's call. But it never came.