I really need to get a life. Like seriously. The power of my glasses is increasing day by day (It's not some magical power kids. It means my eyesight is getting poor by each second.) and my grades is decreasing day by day - wait, moment by moment.

Anyways - so here we are! TADA! *does a lame pose*

Ahem, so...what was I supposed to do again?

Oh, right! Talk about my love life!

*cue simultaneous groans from who knows how many people*

Don't be scared. I've grown up from that stage.

BTW, OH EM GEE THERE'S THIS REALLY CUTE GUY-

😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm just too awesome, right?

39. The short story cliche

Since I just started a short story (Why? Didn't I just say I need to get a life? Well, because my Wattpad crush is also a short story writer/lover and I really REALLY REALLY want him to read mine one day) I was researching into the short story genre. Which means I was reading the featured, What's Hot and undiscovered all kinds of short stories on Wattpad. I was a sucker for short stories since forever and thus it was a pleasurable - well, kinda, I think an author called me a condescending bitch - experience.

Well, I did find some AMAZING ones. Like Letters To No One, Cinderelliot (WHAT?!) 00.00 and many, many others. But after a while, I started noticing a very similar pattern in them.

Let's start the trashing now, shall we?

1. Description.

It seems most short stories don't have a description - specially the undiscovered ones. And you wonder why you're undiscovered?

In reality, it doesn't matter if it's a short story, poem or full blown romance book, a book always ALWAYS needs a description. For short stories and poems, it could be one or two excerpts from the story/poem that really catches ones attention-

*yawn*

WHERE'S THE TRASHING ZARIN?! WHY SO MUCH ADVICE?

Relax, Jeez, I'm-

*starts chanting* WE WANT TRASHING! WE WANT TRASHING! ADVICE IS FOR LOSERS!

Fuck you. This is why people never bother doing good deeds nowadyas. Here is it-

"Hello!! Thank you for clicking on my book, it's called a Potatoes Adventure to Cathood and Other Stories! Hope you enjoy it! Extended summary inside!!!!!! VOTE. COMMENT. MEOW."

"IF YOU LIKE THIS STORY REMEMBER TO GIVE IT A RATING AT www.giantboobies.com. I REPEAT GIVE IT A RATING THERE OR I SWEAR I'LL HAUNT YOUR ASS DOWN TO HELL AND KILL YOU. I'LL CASTRATE YOU AND IF YOU'RE A WOMAN I'LL SLICE OFF YOUR BOOBS AND FEED THEM TO-"

Okay, visuals aside, I've been seeing this everywhere. From good books to horrible ones. Listen, sweetie, if you don't attract readers with a stunning summary, how are you hoping them to vote on your book here, much less on another site?

"Damn daddy got some buns 💧 🔥 🍑 🍌 👉 👌"

I can't even...and no, I didn't just make it up. I legit saw this somewhere.

"So this is just a story where this girl fell in love and she writes to the guy but never sends them. Enjoy."

Okay, maybe the last one isn't THAT horrible, but it's a complete ripoff. I've been seeing this everywhere!

Girl loves guy.

Guy doesn't like her.

Girl writes letter.

But never sends them.

Or,

Girl is bullied.

She writes letter to her bully.

She keeps going and on about what the bully is doing to her.

The book is called 'Dear Bully'

Now, I'm a strong, if not one of the strongest, supporter of No More Bullying. Hell, even the new short story I'm writing 'Harmless' *cue spotlight and shameless promotion 😂* is an officially dedicated No More Bullying story, but the 'Letter writing it bully' plotline is getting REALLY REALLY REALLY overused. It's everywhere. A book with this idea got famous and now everyone's writing books with the exact story line. Just change the names a bit and add some more creative torture methods.

It needs to stop. You can write better and more creative, heart touching stories on your own. I get it. You're looking to express your opinions on the No More Bullying campaign as well and I support that. But PLEASE stop ripping off pieces from famous works and make your own one goddammit.

Now, another cliche other than the 'letter writing thing to who-the-fuck-knows' aside is the 'phone-calls-to-who-the-fuck-knows'

There are HUNDREDS of books like this in the short story genre. Seriously. HUNDREDS.

Girl or guy calls girl or guy from hospital/WalMart/McDonalds/Starbucks/Period Managing Center (?)/Boob Job Center (??)/ Blow Job Center (??!!) and then they have long, long, dragging conversation.

(And yes, I got the inspiration for this idea from my crush's rants *mumbles* *blushes* *dies*)

Hi!

Hmm, who?

Tomato!

Huh?

Wonder woman.

Oh.

Whatcha doing?

Eating, you?

Breathing, you?

There are no narrative description, detailing, prose - basically nothing that really makes it a story. And most of these books have either 'Line' or 'Phone Calls' in the title.

I'm not saying these are horrendous and horrible - I certainly did enjoy some because they were awesome like Hot Line, Hate Line (SHUT UP!) and The Pizza Girl and others but this idea is getting overused. Now everyone seems to think - 'Writing books?! That's easy! I can do it! I need no detailing, description of scenery or characterization after all! Just some funny jokes I copied off Google!'

But one phone call based story that I really liked is The Cell Phone Swap. It was amazing.

Anyways, that's it for today! I need to get a life or something honestly.

Oh and on an important note, I'm thinking about ending this book.

*cue Apocalypse*

WAIT WAIT JEEZ! That was a typo, it's supposed to be *chapater! Don't kill me!

😂😂😂

Till we meet again.

- Zarin

P. S - FAST! SUGGEST SOME CLICHES! I'm running out!

P. P. S - Random question. What's your most embarrassing moment on Wattpad?

Mine? Once I commented - 'Oh my god! Your artistic sense of words is STINKING!' instead of 'Stunning' on MY CRUSH'S BOOK.

And worse - He replied, 'Thanks love... I guess?'

Let me go and die.