So I was browsing through the old comments - cause you know, I have no life - and I noticed that there was one comment about me making a cliche about vampires but then I totally forgot - like the airhead I am - So here's it! Its bit late but not as late as my period at least.

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Okay you did not need to know that.

But hey! It's a serious problem, right? I'm not Mother Mary so I don't think I'm getting pregnant without having sex. So dear monthly lady, where are you?! My mom is seriously gonna set up an appointment with the pregnancy doctor if you don't come!

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Again, you didn't need to know that. Man I sure hope there aren't any guys reading this thing.

Oh wait, there are.

Damn.

Anyways, let's get back on topic.

1. The names -

Damn you Stephanie Meyer for starting this trend that all vampires need to have British or Roman/German names or something.

William.

Vincent.

Edward (Yes we still haven't escaped Twilight)

Henry.

Vladimir. (That name just screams pervert to me.)

Dimitri.

Carlos.

Sebastian

2. They drink blood -

Sorry I just had to do that 😂

3. They kidnap the MC because she find out about them being vampires.

Honestly guys. Kidnapping is getting old. It's like everywhere I go, the solution is always kidnapping!

Didn't eat her breakfast? Kidnap her.

Didn't pass her test? Kidnap her.

Didn't lose weight? Kidnap her.

Is pretty? Kidnap her.

Is ugly? Kidnap her.

Looks like a hobo? Hell just kidnap her!!

4. The two minute Maggie noodles -erm, I mean, the two minute love cliche. What? I'm hungry.

The vampire dude that's also the king who has been wondering the streets for thousand years finds the MC and suddenly wants her as her bride for no particular reason. He just looked at her and BAM 'Here's the girl I've been trying to find for my entire life.'

Sure. I mean that's EXACTLY how love happens. Whoever invented dates and the term 'Getting to know each other' should just go to hell.

5. The titles -

I'm the bad boy billionaire vampire king's mate but he rejected me and then I came back all hot and sexy and now he wants me back and I'm like, okay, cool, oh and FYI I have this little kid too!!!! And yeah, my entire story just got told in the title!!! Yipee!!!!

*Stares at the thing in front of her blankly*

*Stomach grublems but she doesn't eat in case she pukes and she really isn't in the mood to clean that up*

6. The description -

Random person - Um, didn't you just tell the entire story in the title? Why the fuck does it need a description?

Author - *flips hair* Coz I'm just, like, totes fab! And whatever I ryte is FAB!!!

Random person - uh huh *skeptical stare* Well, um, it's spelled 'Write' not 'Ryte' but oh what the hell. Let's just get on with it, I have better things to do.

Meet William Fernandez British. The bad boy billionaire!!! Every girl falls head over hills for him and every guy envies him!!! But, wait for it, he's also a vampire!! The vampire king to be exact! And then, he's hosting this masquerade ball! And Skylar, the most awkward, shy, sarcastic, introvert and badass girl in the entire school goes there! She's always bullied because she has this huge pimples and she's, like, SO fat.

But William sees her and he knows it. She's the one! The one for whom he's been waiting for a thousand of years!!! His savlaviotion-

Random person - Ahem it's salvation. Also, can I go now?

His salvation! The one he has been waiting for! But then the head cheerleader stomps in and drags her by her hair and starts bullying her even more because William is HER man!!!

William slept with her before many times but oh what the hell. He's found his mate!! The most beautiful girl in the entire planet! The one with the most angelic face and perfect hourglass body!

Random person - Ahem, are we still taking about Skylar? The one who had pimples and was fat like, I don't know, a normal girl?

But their parents don't agree!! What's gonna happen next!? Read on to find out!

Ranked #1 in Vampire!!!!!! Winner of Shakalaka Boom Boom Awards!!!

VOTE AND COMMENT PLEASE! I PROMISE I'LL VOTE ON YOUR STORIES TOO!!

-By @Someone-Who-Doesn't-Give-A-Fuck-About-Wattpad's-Laws-Against-Vote-Exchange

Random person - OI ZARIN LET ME OUT FROM THIS CELL WITH THIS CRAZY 10 YEAR OLD BITCH!!!

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*a while later*

Erm. Please ignore the last part.

Okay, that's it for today! The longest chapter in a while! So you know what that means. That there won't be an update in a long while! Sorry, but life's getting a little busy!

Anyways, I noticed some of you want to know more about my life rants so here is it -
Remember the guy I told you about? Yeah well, he's like the most notorious playboy in our college.

But he's just so KIND! He even gave me CHOCOLATE!! I repeat. He. Gave. Me. Chocolate.

Damn I'm too easy.

He's always so friendly and nice with the everyone! Whenever he talks to me, he acts like we've been best friends till birth and I'm just standing there gaping like a fish.

But all my friends are absolutely angry with me because they know what kind of a playboy he is. So they want to protect me. Furthermore, he changes girlfriends more than he changes his underwear. On that note, he also has a girlfriend.

All things considered, I know it's better for me to give up.

But...you know...It's been so long since my heart beat for a guy. After my previous disastrous relationship, I've almost given up on love.

So...just for a little while, just a little while longer...I want to cherish this feeling.

Just for a little while.

Then I'll let go.

- Zarin ♥

Edit from the me three years later:

I don't even remember his name tf did I sound so sentimental back then? Oh, and thank you so much for 120K reads ffffffuck.