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A L I C E

ALICE DUNLAP DIDN'T KNOW how badly she'd needed a taste of the outside world, until she'd finally gotten it. The girl had been somewhat trapped inside of those fences for several months, not having been outside since her father went missing and the governor had taken her in.

With Elliot in quarantine and the community hanging on by a thread, the sound of the tree-leaves gently whirling in the damp wind was music to Alice's ears. But the girl wasn't alone. And, after a sudden change in heart, she didn't quite mind the company—Carl's company—either. The two were chaperoning Hershel together, from a distance, as he inspected his elderberry bush, relentlessly searching for anything ripened enough to pick.

When Carl had caught Hershel sneaking out of quarantine, he made the promise to help the man who'd been blatantly disobeying his father. But he didn't leave the safety of the fences before following through with another attempt to get the saddened girl to leave her cell. And because Alice was ready to begin forgetting about what was happening right in front of her eyes, once again, Carl's invitation was accepted.

What resonated with Alice wasn't just an opportunity to get some fresh air—it was who was presenting the opportunity to her. She'd been comforted that there was someone around, other than Elliot, who'd shown concern for her well-being. Of all the people who could've rolled that soccer ball underneath her curtain a few days ago, or come knocking on her cell wall that morning to retrieve her for a brief escape, she never would've guessed that it would've been Carl Grimes.

The two stood far away from Hershel and his bush, taking guard against the open forest. Carl had finally gotten his gun back, that of which Alice knew had been used to kill. And the boy just looked a little weird holding it. Similarly to Alice, it felt foreign for the girl to have to turn the safety off of hers, as the two were getting into position.

"Have you always had that?" Carl briefly looked over his shoulder, at the girl, before returning his stare back down the aim of his own gun.

"My gun?" Alice weakly nodded, knowing that she wasn't within the boy's line of sight. She turned the gun over, in her palm, and studied it for a few seconds. It was now heavier than before, carrying the weight of an entire chamber's-worth of bullets. "I never let it out of my sight."

The girl fastened her aim towards the trees, extending her arms out in front of her. Though her gaze was casted straight ahead, she could see the boy take a another glance at her, out of the corner of her eye. "Did you think you would still need it?"

"Didn't I?" Alice asked with a sarcastic chuckle, projecting her voice in the boy's direction.

She looked over her shoulder, holding her stare towards the boy, as he was already looking at her. The two looked at each other for a few moments, before she noticed Carl's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Need it." She enunciated. "I did need it in case I had to protect myself, when everything happened yesterday. Does it even matter what I thought?"

Alice Dunlap had always felt a sense of doom, especially about communities such as the one she was in. Good things like the prison never lasted, in this world. The girl'd always kept her gun tucked in the back of the waistband of her pants, underneath her shirt. It constantly dug into the skin of her back, but that pinching pain was worth the sense of security it provided.

Carl essentially begged the question of the faith that she had in the fences—in their own people. But the girl didn't know him very well. She didn't know what he'd have done, if he had the choice of having his own gun back, earlier. The girl had no idea whether or not Carl Grimes was naive enough to believe that he'd never need that kind of protection, again. She figured that the boy might have gone to such great lengths of stupidity, just to appease his father's farming mindset—as that happened to be a reoccurring motive of the boy's.

That was until she noticed a small smile spread across the boy's lips, at her unapologetic answer. With his slight expression, alone, he'd saved her the trouble of having to even ask him what he thought. Alice knew, by the pleasantly surprised look on his face, that the boy had expected less from her.

He seemed almost impressed. And she liked it. Alice Dunlap actually enjoyed the feeling of impressing Carl Grimes. Although, before yesterday she'd never even thought about his approval, the girl couldn't help but mirror his smile, at the similarity silently recognized between the two.

"How's Elliot doing?" Carl's words were what completely wiped the short-lived smile off of her face.

Alice had not seen her brother since it all went down in their cell block. She didn't even get to speak to him before she was told that he'd been moved to quarantine. For now, the girl was silently expecting the news of her brother's fate through another random outbreak of gunshots, inside the prison.

"Don't know," The girl shrugged, pulling her eyes back towards the trees. Her mumbled words echoed within the small clearing. "They won't let me visit him until further notice—whatever that means."

Alice looked over her shoulder, after a few seconds without a response from Carl. She figured that her frustration made the boy uncomfortable, from the way his stare dropped to the ground, in thought. Something was stirring around behind those eyes, but the girl never expected to find out what.

"This is all I've got, for now." Hershel walked between the two kids, lowering his metal bucket and allowing the two of them to look at the scarcity of elderberries circling around its rusty bottom. The man had taken a long enough time searching for any ripened berries on the bush, that Alice and Carl had almost forgotten about the purpose of their excursion. "I'll have to come back in a couple of days."

Hershel began walking, with his usual hobble, in front of Carl and Alice, shaking his head in disappointment, and leading the way back to the prison fence. The girl followed, thinking nothing of the boy lagging far behind. She assumed that Carl still wanted to stay distanced from the two people who'd been around the infected more than him.

"Hey!" The girl turned her head around, facing the boy who still kept his distance from her. He waited a few seconds for Hershel to walk out of earshot, before, once again, raising his hushed voice. "Meet me at the entrance to the tombs in half an hour. I have an idea."

☆

"Where are we going?" Alice whispered, leaning towards the boy. Her voice was muffled by the bandana that was draped just below her eyes. She and Carl both wore one, allowing the two a little more wiggle room with not keeping their distance as they maneuvered through the tight tombs.

Carl didn't answer her question, as he was too focused on being stealthy to form a response. He crept alongside Alice, who was not nearly as alert as him. The girl stood tall, walking at a normal pace, looking over at Carl with furrowed eyebrows.

The two kept on their path until they saw a beam of light coming from one of the halls. It was an open door. And a shadow broke its way through the ray of brightness, as someone whose body was overcome with coughs quickly crossed along the distant doorway.

"Okay," Carl muttered, ushering the both of them back behind the corner that they'd just come from, scanning his eyes over what seemed like every crevice of the surrounding tombs. "Stay here. I'll come back to get you."

"Wh—" The girl raised her pointer finger, in response. But it had already been too late. Carl walked, with a crouch, right up to the dimly lit doorway. Alice watched as he stuck his head in the room, looking both ways before entering.

The girl rolled her eyes and began checking over her shoulder. Everything about Carl's behavior screamed that the two weren't supposed to be in there. Alice's mind first assumed that they were traveling in a part of the tombs that was connected to the damaged part of the prison. Checking for the dead was the only thing on her mind.

Another shadow cut through the beam of light illuminating the hallway. Alice whipped her head towards it, intending to reach around to her lower back and take aim with her gun, until she realized that it was Carl. He was back, and he was waving her over.

She bounced on her feet to catch up with the boy, as he crept back through the door. When she stepped through the doorway, she studied the unfamiliar hallway that Carl was leading her deeper into. There were almost pairs of rooms connected to one another, however none of their doors were open. They only had thin, elongated windows that barely showcased the inside.

Carl was quickly looking into every single one of those windows as he rushed down the hall. That was until he breathed out a sigh of relief, upon glancing into the third-to-last window. The boy turned to Alice, frantically waving her towards him, as she'd unknowingly lagged behind. "In here."

With furrowed eyebrows and a surplus of confusion, the girl hesitantly allowed Carl to usher her towards the door. He quickly looked both ways before turning the knob and opening the door, waving the girl inside. She was the first to enter the room that was illuminated only by a flickering, candle-lit lantern in the corner of the room. "What are we doing in h—"

The girl's feet came to halt as she spotted a big pane of glass separating their room from another. More importantly, Alice's face softened at who was sitting on the other side of the glass, with baggy eyes and glistening skin, waiting for his sister to notice him.

Her feet took off towards the other side of the small room, as she got as close as she could to the glass. "Elliot?"

"Hey," He groaned, with a forced smile. "You made it."

"You knew I was going to be here?" Alice gawked down at her brother, who could only see her watering eyes above her bandana. Her eyebrows furrowed upon realizing that her brother was not surprised by her presence. "I didn't even know that I was going to be h—"

Her words came to a sudden end when she remembered why she was there, how she got there and who brought her there. She'd become so engulfed in who was waiting for her, behind the glass, that she'd forgotten who made their reunion possible.

She slowly turned her head, almost not even wanting to have to look away from her brother, to face Carl. He sheepishly stood by the closed door, in the corner of the room, with his hands shoved into his pockets. His promising eyes studied the pair of siblings.

Carl couldn't exactly see the way that Alice was looking at him in the dim light, and it was made evident by his nervous hand immediately fumbling around for the doorknob, behind him. "I'll—Uh—I'll get out of your way."

For so long, Alice thought of the boy as someone who did everything in his power to live up to expectations that didn't even exist. She'd dismissed him as nothing but a hardened appearance—a failed one at that. She barely knew the boy before and she barely knew him now.

But what she did know was that he'd repeatedly gone out of his way to repair the damage done to her by the loss of a friend. A friend that the two shared. No one was providing him comfort for the same loss. His only crowd, now that Elliot and Patrick were abruptly removed from the circle, was filled with adults. And the adults were too busy dealing with all of this mess to provide him the same comfort that he was providing Alice. She'd become the only person truly in Carl's circle, by circumstance. And now it was her turn to be there for him.

"Carl!" She hurriedly said, before he could completely twist open the doorknob to the room. He switched his glance from the door to the girl, and his eyelashes bounced around, illuminated by the dancing candle-light casted just above his bandana. She caught a glimpse of the shadowy crinkles surrounding his outer eyes as his cheeks subtly rose beneath the fabric. The girl matched his glance with a reassuring smile—one that he also could not see. "You're not in the way."

☆

This was how grieving was supposed to feel.

For the past few days, Alice had struggled with coming to terms with her first loss. She'd never allowed herself to accept anything that she'd lost, as long as she could help it. Patrick's death was unavoidable in almost every sense. Elliot being put in quarantine right after didn't help much, either. Just after the sickness had taken one from her flock, it seemed to have already lined up its next victim.

Her brother obviously wasn't doing very well, but Alice and Carl's presence managed to spread a smile across his fatigued, sweaty cheeks. All the three did, for several minutes, was share memories of Patrick. Every now and again, silence would consume the small room, upon the realization that no more memories would get to be constructed with him. But they'd always find something else about Patrick to bring up.

Alice didn't know if getting to see her brother smile—to see her brother alive—was what made her feel so rejuvenated, but something about the grieving being split three ways made her feel less alone.

The three shared some muted laughs about Patrick's first day at the prison, and how he'd demanded a tour of each of the cell blocks, from Carl. Of course, after only a moment, the laughter died down, and Elliot broke the silence. "I always thought that Patrick would meet dad, one day. Like dad would somehow find us and he'd get to see where we've been all this time."

Alice became tense, as she took a secretive glance over at Carl. It'd have been fine for Elliot to bring up their father had the two been alone, but the siblings had company. She knew that Carl knew about what happened to their father. She just didn't know the detail to which Elliot had painted the picture of the Dunlaps' past, for the boy.

Although it was her private business, too, it wasn't liked she'd tell Elliot something about it. If talking about their father would help her brother feel better about all of this, then so be it.

The girl offered her brother a smile, and let out an elongated sigh through her nostrils. "I think he would've liked that."

"Patrick or your dad?" Carl asked.

Before this conversation, she'd never heard so many words from the boy. She'd figured that Elliot's presence was what made him feel welcomed enough to chime in. After all, they all lost Patrick. And although Alice and Elliot were brother and sister, the boy deserved not to be treated as an outsider, just this once.

Alice took a few moments to develop her response, as Carl's question made her think about it, realistically. Although nothing about the thought of the girl ever getting to see her father again seemed realistic, in the slightest.

"Our dad." She started, with a shrug. "He'd have gotten a kick out of the way Patrick acts when adults are around."

Both of the boys chuckled at her answer, but it was Carl who continued the conversation, as he came to Patrick's defense. "Hey—he only ever acted like that when he was nervous."

"Oh," Elliot playfully scoffed, shuffling around in his bed. "Patrick definitely would've been pissing his pants."

"Yeah," Alice started, wanting to piggyback off of her brother's point.

She wanted to argue the point that very few people wouldn't have been nervous while meeting their boyfriend's parent. But the girl didn't know if Carl knew the truth about Patrick and Elliot's relationship. There was a good chance that he did know, considering Elliot had already easily opened up to the boy about their father.

Alice, however, decided not to take that risk. She looked over to Carl, offering him an exaggerated shrug. "Our dad was pretty intimidating."

"Is," Elliot corrected his sister. "He is pretty intimidating."

The girl couldn't help but think about her last few seconds with her father, when he'd frantically run off and left the two stranded, just for a chance at delivering his children to safety. His final moments—or what Alice always considered to have been his final moments—were spent under the premise of nothing intimidating.

"Sorry," She forced a tight-lipped smile across her lips and shot it in her brother's direction. "He is pretty intimidating."

It was pretty obvious to the girl, by an awkward glance shot in her direction, that Carl had noticed the discrepancy between the two siblings. The boy's uncomfortable silence demonstrated his will to restrain himself from furthering the conversation.

"At least he could still meet Carl, someday." Elliot started, trying to lighten the mood. Alice wanted nothing but to get out of this conversation, especially since Carl was sitting a few feet away from her. Her brother continued on, not being able to see the frown behind her bandana. "You never know, any day he could walk up to the front gates."

The girl nearly wanted to vomit at the reminder of their father, and the fantasy that her brother was clearly trying to indulge in. But she'd do anything to make him feel better, and unfortunately that meant entering the territory of a hopeful mind. "And he'd still be lugging around that camping bag—the one that he took everywhere, even before all of this."

"It'd take a whole lot more than just the end of the world to pry that thing out of his cold, dead hands." Elliot stared up at the ceiling, attempting to let out a sigh that was quickly overcome by a coughing fit. The girl grew concerned as she watched her brother's body jolt with each intake of breath. Once he could catch his breath and pull his arm away from his mouth, Alice spotted splatters of blood on his sleeve. "At least wherever he is, he has my sleeping bag."

Alice tried to mask her concerned stare and let out a chuckle. "Mine too."

A few moments of silence filled the room, as Alice stared at Elliot and Elliot stared at the ceiling. She was a few feet closer to the glass than Carl was. The boy awkwardly sat on a stool, next to the table that held the dying lantern.

"How did it happen?" Carl was the one to break the silence. "How did you guys get separated?"

Alice Dunlap had figured that the boy'd known the gist of the events surrounding her father's disappearance. She almost felt bad for being so upset at Elliot, that night that he admitted to telling Carl about what happened to their father.

It was the end of the world. Communication was either in the moment or never again. People got separated every single day. It was normal. But what Alice was ashamed of was not that she'd gotten separated from her father—it was how helpless he'd gotten, just before his children never saw him again. Her latest memory of him was an undignified version of the man who'd raised her.

She didn't know how to go about her side of the story, considering how vastly her perspective on her father's disappearance differed from her brother's. The girl discreetly looked towards Elliot, as if to give him the floor.

"We were all dehydrated—our dad, mostly." Her brother started. "He always gave us all of his water unless there was too much for us to carry, which didn't happen very often."

And so the pity party began. Elliot was describing a moment where the two felt as though they were on the brink of death. The girl almost preferred the thought of Carl already having known this information, several months ago, when the two were not yet on speaking terms.

"He started to lose it—seeing and hearing things. One day, we were sitting at our camp and out of nowhere, he started running around and packing up our things." Elliot shook his head, along with his pause. "He said that he was going to flag down a car—that help was finally on the way. That was the last time we ever saw him."

Alice's face was tightened into a prolonged wince. Having her vulnerability put on display in front of Carl was unnerving, considering that it contradicted the hardened appearance that she'd tried so hard to maintain, ever since her arrival at the prison.

"After that, we tried to travel along that long road out of the city." Elliot looked towards his sister, who had no desire to be included in the story-telling. "Where were we headed? Before the governor found us?"

She tightened her lips, nervously flicking her hair over her shoulder, in order to look at Carl, who awkwardly sat behind her. "King County."

The difficulty to decipher each other's facial expressions had been continuous throughout their time spent crashing quarantine. The room was dark and the two had been wearing bandanas to guard one another from sharing the same breath. But, from the few inches of Carl's exposed face that Alice could see, the girl sensed his growing discomfort. She didn't blame him, as she probably looked the same; tightly-wound and just a bit on edge.

She squinted her eyes in Carl's direction, waiting for the boy to continue prying, as he had undoubtedly been. But, with gaping eyes and a heavy breath flowing out from beneath his black bandana, Carl Grimes was silenced.

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3745 words
February 7, 2023
10:20 PM

A/N

omg hi guys!

first of all: thank you guys for enjoying my tiktoks!! I can't express how long I've been planning the tiktoks I've been posting and now that they're finally seeing the light of day, I'm so glad that you guys like them!! (fr I've had like 3 of them planned since April 2022, it's currently Feb 2023)

disturbedia life update: I have three exams next week but that's okay bc that's not my update week!! the week after that I have 4/5 days off, and I can write my heart out <3 also i've just been doing school and nothing interesting whatsoever besides making tiktoks and writing on wp

now that my life update is over, let's briefly discuss this chapter... Carl is gathering context clues and using critical thinking at the end of the last scene. who knew????

also get ready for chapter five because it's going to be... SOMETHING... :O

xoxo - disturbedia

☆vote for good grades ☆