Lilly was very aware that she and Max were breaking one of the ground rules of Elliott Way, and she was also very aware of how little she cared. Sneaking around was something she did a lot in Eldnac, so breaking this ground rule did not give her a jarring sense of condemnation but rather a pang of nostalgia and comfort. When they exited the facility through the service door in Treasurer's Place without getting seen by anyone who did not look kindly on sneaking out, Lilly's gut filled with familiar exhilaration. By the determined set of his mouth and the glitter in his eyes, she could tell Max felt the same way. 

There was a path that wound down a slope to the city. The city could not directly be seen from Elliott Way because it was tucked into the folds of a humble little valley and was framed by woods on three sides, but now Lilly could see the lopsided rises of chimneys and roofs down below through a thin layer of fog as she staggered alongside Max with her newly bandaged leg.

What were the Board Members doing now, she wondered? Stevia would find Lydia dead by a fatal dose of solar wind, knowing full-well that Lilly was a magical something in need of taming. Were they on the hunt for her? Were they questioning the Privates about her? She was lucky they didn't run into any instructors or Board Members on her way out of Elliott Way. 

She was so screwed. How would she ever be able to show her face in the facility again? 

"Why the change of mind?" Lilly asked when she and Max were safely around a hilly wooded bend and under the cover of summer-bright leaves weighed down by water. Elliott Way was temporarily out of view. "Yesterday you were all, we can never ever go see the grumpy old hag because we're just kids and it's the adults's job to handle the world." 

Max shrugged. "First of all, my voice is not that deep or obnoxious-sounding. Second of all, if you think about it, we're completely out of options. It's not like you can go to the Board Members now without getting arrested, and Zander, Kaitlynn, Wyx, and I could try talking to them again, but I bet they're too busy to jump on the word of a snack-sized three-legged dragon and a bunch of Privates. I doubt the Board Members would want to try the psychic again anyway, even if we got on our faces and kissed their boots. Kamaria asked like whatever Desidonna wanted from them was something that could cause the end of humanity." 

"Thanks for coming, then. You know, you're not that—" 

"If you say bad I'll slap you and kick your wounded thigh." Max quickened his pace so that he was half-jogging. Lilly threw up her arms, knowing he was just trying to get under her skin because she couldn't walk as fast with her hurt leg. 

Moments later, they wound around another bend in the path and were met with the entrance gate of the city. From the emerald-colored iron of this gate hung at least forty clocks; each timepiece was a different size and color...some were ancient, some were missing hands, one had ten hands spinning around its face. They hung from the open gate like a curtain, and beyond that, Lilly could see a bustling town stirring with early morning happenings. 

They walked through the gate. 

The town itself was very crooked; even though it was situated in a level-grounded valley, the eastern half of the town looked as if it had decided to sit down, for many of the buildings on that side were sunken, their top halves and polychromatic roofs peeking out of the ground. Through the entrance gate, Lilly saw lopsided Christmas-like lights draped from the frame of nearly every buildings. Candles flickered through the windows of small, brightly painted stores. There was a large steeple from deep within the city that cast a triangular shadow across pastel-purple cobblestones. People scattered through the crowded streets, hurrying along back to cottages and stone apartments that were lodged between colorful shops and bakeries. Store names appeared in big, haphazardly placed letters: THE GENIUS JOKE SHOP, OLLIE VOLLEY'S BABY DOLLIES (For every little girl and boy!), THE FAIRY TALE POP SHOP, ALL THE LITTLE KNICK-KNACKS FOR YOUR KNICKERS. Lilly smelled mints and pastries and herbal teas, scents so alive they seemed to send her nose into a dance. Butterflies swirled around chimneys that pumped out blue smoke. On the opposite side of the street stood a grove of trees, their trunks sculpted to look like seven-foot-tall mermaids. There were giant mushrooms the size of shops and houses, and...with a shock and a tug on Max's arm, Lilly realized the mushrooms had faces on them. Deep-set eyes, noses, glowering mouths carved into the fiber of their bell-shaped tops...actual human-like faces!

The people in this city did not look like people.

Stout men and women with thick tufts of hair and thin lips stretched across their mouths tucked oboes and clarinets under their arms. There were plump humanoid creatures with green skin and a hungry glitter in their eyes who lurked in alleys and slunk beside pastry stands. Little girls had horns and wings and eyes that took up a third of their face.

One woman dressed in a gown that had to be at least three layers thick stopped in front of Lilly and Max, curtseyed, and said in a thick accent, "Good'day t'you, lad and lady. Aren't you both glad the beasts haven't stolen the color from our precious Faevil yet?"

Lilly didn't have the slightest idea what that meant and didn't know whether she was supposed to curtsy back or not. Just to be safe, she curtseyed anyway. The woman giggled behind a gloved hand and pranced past them. Max threw his head back and roared with laughter.

Do not curtsey back. Well noted.

Max paused at the door of a bakery with a crooked triangular roof and a bright blue door frame. The sign on the door read in swooping calligraphy BLUE ANKLES CAFE. He said, "You're going to ask about where the grumpy old hag lives while I get you breakfast."

Lilly rolled her eyes and grinned. "Are you scared to ask about the big bad witch?"

Max shoved her on their way inside. The café was the perfect embodiment of Shifters: bizarre and colorful. Some tables only had one chair, and some had no chairs at all. Stacked crates along either wall read in large bold letters MUSHROOM TEA. The café housed crooked sofas and armchairs (Lilly found crooked to be a motif in this city). A fast flute-and-drum tune played overhead. The place was smug and busy and everything smelled like fresh honey-glazed bread. 

"Mushroom tea," Lilly mused as she and Max walked up to the counter. "That's awful."

"You lobster-smelling abomination!" Max exclaimed. "It's the best drink there is! I'll buy you a cup."

"Who brings money when they go off to boot camp?"

"I do," Max replied. "You should always have money on you. You never know when you're gonna have to bribe someone. Anyway, you haven't lived until you've tasted mushroom tea." Max led Lilly over to the front counter and asked the woman standing behind it, "Two cups of mushroom tea and a slice of honey bread."

The barista was green-haired and blue-skinned, with webbing between her fingers. Lilly wondered if she was half-fish. The barista replied, "Sure. Half or whole cups for you?"

"Half." Max pulled four bronze chain links from his pocket. "Keep the change." 

Seriously, who brought money to a training facility?

Lilly leaned forward on the counter as the barista pulled out mugs and mushrooms. "Um, we're a little lost. Could you please help us?"

"Depends on where you need to go." The barista didn't look up as she brought water from a kettle to a boil and pulled out a loaf of glistening golden bread to slice. 

"There's a psychic who lives here. The crazy one. Do you know where she is?"

"Can't help you." The barista's hands hovered above the mugs, her eyebrows narrowing to slits. "Desidonna is more than a psychic or a witch. She's demonic. Kids like you shouldn't be looking for her."

"But we—"

"Are you two soldiers from Elliott Way?" She reached over the counter to set the mugs of tea and a thick slice of bread on the counter. The mugs, which were filled to the top, looked as though the barista had taken a full mug and sliced it down the middle. Lilly picked it up from the counter and examined it; where the other half of the mug should have been was a piece of square glass.

It was literally half of a mug. 

"Are you two looking for a scare or something?" asked the barista. 

"Not exactly," Lilly replied. 

"Well, stop looking. That woman will bite your arm off before you even get a scream out."

Sighing, Lilly and Max moved off to an empty table so a man clutching a toddler to his chest could order.

"What's in your hand?" Lilly asked as they sat down. She caught the sheen of light on glass in his hand; she craned her neck to look and saw a small vial no larger than her thumb filled with bright purple liquid. Max stuffed it in his pocket.

"Oh, that," he said, expression growing serious. "Can you keep a secret?"

Lilly nodded.

"My dad sucks." 

"Ah." 

Lilly shrugged. His secrets were his business, she supposed. She lifted the mug to her nose and sniffed it...she'd never actually smelled mushrooms before and didn't know what to expect. The tea had a sweet, sugary scent, unlike what she'd expect any type of fungi to smell like. The tea didn't look like it had mushrooms in it. She sipped. And it was...good. Delicious, actually—it tasted flowery, like the lavender and coconut teas Melissa made in the summertime, and it had a strong maple-flavored aftertaste to it.

"I'm assuming there must be coconut mushrooms in the Shifter World?" Lilly asked, and Max laughed.

"It's made of maple-coconut mushrooms and lavender flowers. It's good, isn't it?"

Lilly nodded, tearing off a piece of bread. It shone with a honey-glaze to it and was soft and warm when she put it in her mouth. "It's really good. Thanks."

"You're welcome, you lobster-smelling abomination."

"Now you're just being annoying." 

Max snorted. "You're just mad because I'm winning our insult war." He paused, opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, then snapped it shut. He lifted his mug to his lips and seemed to finally decide to say whatever he wanted to say. He blurted, "Have you ever had a panic attack before?" 

Lilly shook her head. Now that she was feeling less scared and she knew for certain her lungs weren't collapsing, she was able to realize that Melissa had panic attacks often. Sometimes, her cousin would come home from work out of breath and clutching her chest. She'd disappear into her room, preferring to battle the suffocating terror alone. And because Melissa disappeared before the brunt of the attack hit, Lilly never realized how bad they were before now. How could anyone isolate themselves when they felt like they were dying? 

"When you have them, do you feel like you're breathing through a straw?" 

"And your head feels like there's all this pressure—"

"—and your fingers and toes tingle—" 

"—and you're so sure you're about to die?" 

"Exactly. It's like this awful monster is—" 

The words died on Lilly's lips when the café doors swung open.

There is a difference between opening a door and making a door swing, an unexplainable phenomenon that is wrought with a feeling of accomplishment: People who swing doors open stand with authority upon entering, and the man who made the doors to the café swing open stood precisely in perfect authority. He spread his arms wide...and he didn't just walk into the café, either. He stood in the doorway, beaming, nostrils flaring, three seconds after he'd entered.

People turned to look.

Finally, he sauntered in. Two other men trailed behind him; all three of them wore red overcoats with gold buttons, boots that seemed slightly too large for their feet, and thick ropes of jewels around their necks.

The café had gone quiet—the three men were quite attention-grabbing, after all.

Max pressed a hand to his forehead.

"Three mushroom teas," one of the men called to the barista. The barista rolled her eyes and began pulling out mugs.

"Wow," Lilly whispered.

"I've seen them with my dad at the Bloom Congregation Center," said Max. "Everyone knows them. They think they're...high up in the Bloom government."

"Are they?"

"They clean up poop in the dragon stables."

"They think that's a big role in the Bloom?"

Max bent his face lower into his mug, his hand never leaving his forehead. A red flush crept up his cheeks, and his eyes were wide with exasperation. "Yes. The one in the middle's name is Jippity. He's the ringleader of those two other guys. He goes around to cafés and diners in Bria Hungary and—"

"Goblins!" cried the one in the middle—Jippity—to a group of flat-faced goblins cleaning their oboes, flutes, and clarinets on a nearby sofa.

"What does he do?" Lilly whispered.

"It's terrible. He—"

"Trolls!" Jippity demanded in a high-pitched cry. With large heads and fat green bodies, trolls were grumpy looking beings to begin with, but upon reaction to Jippity's cry their lips lifted from their teeth in a predatory snarl. If it was possible, they looked even more irritated than their resting faces. "Drum me a beat with those fat fingers of yours on the table!"

Lilly gasped an "Oh no" under her breath, and Jippity started singing:

"There once was a dragon slayer,

By the eyes of the onlookers, his companions were slightly grayer

And the dragons got their claws out,

But the dragon slayer was a-ready, 'cause his glorious soul had no doubts!"

By now the goblins had started playing their oboes, flutes, and clarinets, and the trolls slapped their hands on the table to make a rhythm. None of them looked particularly obliging. Jippity's song was bright, a hilarious contrast to the agitated, frowning people of the café. Lilly slapped a hand to her mouth to keep from laughing in the middle of his song.

"His companions, in all their grayness, slouched down below boulders,

Those cowards!

The dragon slayer rose tall and proud, his sword a-glitter and a-gleam,

Dragons closed in upon him like a nightmare, like expanding lungs,

So the slayer thrust his sword up,

There was something 'bout being with the slayer that people loved,

His courage, thick as porridge, makes the land zizzle!

He killed those dragons with his sword and a small green wagon,

That he got from the storage house down on street Flagon,

This dragon slayer is the best, and his name is JIPITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY—"

"Mushroom tea for three!" shouted the barista. Jippity's last note ended in a fraying squawk. The goblins heaved relieved breaths. The trolls growled. Everyone else held in their laughter. 

Jippity's chin lifted as he walked by Lilly and Max to claim his three mugs (half, because the barista didn't want to keep him there longer than he had to be). When he passed them, he said, "Good day, gentekids."

Lilly smiled at him. "Actually, could you please help us?"

Max hissed, "Lilly!"

Jippity beamed. "Suredy-sure! What can the great Jippity do for you?"

"Do you know where the crazy psychic lives in this city? My...um, fellow gentlekid and I are looking for her."

Max gave her a wide-eyed look that said I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you.

"Desidonna? Why would you need to talk to her? She's not very nice at all. You could talk to me instead."

"Well, I'm not a very nice person either," Lilly replied. "I think we'll be fine. You're a big part of the Bloom, so I just thought you could point us down to where she lives. You're very knowledgeable."

Jippity's smile widened, and Lilly worried that if it got any wider, his cheeks would melt off his face. He glanced back at his companions, who were engaging with a fairy who was looking just as disgruntled as the goblins who had been tasked with playing their oboes for Jippity's song. "I like you," he said.

Lilly smiled the sweet get-out-of-jail-free smile that she saved for Headmistress Vatakai when she was in trouble (it did nothing to get her out of trouble, but it did feel perfectly convincing nonetheless on Lilly's face, so she slapped it on whenever she needed it.) "I like you, too." 

Max grumbled, "I don't."

Jippity ignored him. "Well...since I am very knowledgeable about this type of thing, I'll let you in on a little secret. Desidonna lives at the end of the main road. You'll come to an intersection of the main road and a back road that leads back to Elliott Way. Branch off both paths and go left through the woods. You'll come to a gate. Desidonna lives in the scary house with all the feather-feather jingly bells. You gentlepeoples trying to get a scare out of looking at the witch?"

"Something like that," Lilly replied. "Thanks so much. You truly are the greatest, most knowledgeable worker in all the Bloom."

Jippity nodded. "Finally. You're the first person to ever acknowledge it."

"I don't doubt it," said Max.

Lilly stomped on his foot.

"Ouch!" 

"He's kidding," Lilly said. "Anyway, thanks again." 

"Yeppity-yep!" Jippity nodded goodbye, and he and his companions turned to sit down at an empty table. As soon as he was out of earshot, Max wagged an accusing finger at her. "You just boosted his ego a million miles past the top of the ego-meter."

"Can't be any farther up there than yours."

Max rolled his eyes.