[Preface: All texts that are bold and italicized are Orion. Regular italicized are whoever he's texting with.]

The next day, home safe and sound, I was still feeling good about myself. It was...foreign. Weird. Truthfully a little unsettling, perhaps because I couldn't remember the last time I felt like this.

I was thinking about the Japanese proverb again. As such, I pulled out my phone and began to scroll through all my random interactions. Most were funny; some were heartfelt. I started with old conversations between Jake and myself.

8:45PM

Yo.

Hey

Wanna hang out?

Sure

Okay, lemme in, I'm on your porch already.

3PM

I feel so smart now! Like a person who does complicated math!

I'm a Goddamn mather!

...wait

Shit

Mathematician, even? 👀

Fuck off

I scroll back even farther. When nothing strikes me, I pull up my photos. I know I had a habit of taking screen shots of really funny exchanges. Sure enough, I find my treasure trove.

4:02AM

Jake

Jake

Jakey Wakey

Jacob

JAKE!!!

WHAT?!?!?!

Hi. :)

Why are you awake at 4AM?!

I thought I'd start reading a book before bed. I accidently finished it. 👀

Why are you texting me at 4AM?!

Why are you answering me @4AM???

Bc my phone buzzed!

Sounds like a you problem for not setting your phone to silent

Why am I friends with you?

Because I made pancakes. Want some?

I'll be right there

ISTG tho, if there's no food imma murder you

JACOB!

I'm coming, I'm coming

Ew, TMI

ORION!!!

I laugh, knowing how we drive each other equally crazy. Then I find two that, admittedly, make me a little sad. One was from a long, long time ago, before I went to rehab, before my life fell apart. Long before people thought I was actually suicidal.

4PM

If I die, you can have all of my guitars

...that's seriously the sweetest fucking thing anyone has ever said to me

But please don't die 👀

Wait, why are we talking about you dying?! Do I need to call someone?

JACOB!!!

This one hurts, for pretty obvious reasons.

1:23PM

I HATE MEN

THEY'RE INCONSIDERATE

AND MEAN

AND SELF CENTERED

Tristan not answering?

AND SELFISH

Isn't that the same as being self-centered?

SHHH! I'M IN CRISIS HERE

Dude, he's probably busy, yaknow, being in Texas, hiding from the stalker and all.

YEAH, BUSY IGNORING ME!

Wait, nvm

He just texted, we're good :)

Thank God, that means you'll leave me the fuck alone now...

Then I find one that I totally forgot about, and it makes me crack up. It was the first conversation I had ever taken a screen shot of. It was back when Saturn Mutants was in its infancy. We had been practicing.

2:39PM

Shouldn't you be practicing and not staring at your phone?

...I'm sitting right next to you, with my guitar. You're the one that texted me, you absolute dork.

I remember after that exchange we had looked at one another and busted out laughing.

After that, I start scrolling through conversations Jake had started with me.

3:38PM

I'm so triggered rn

You're ugly face triggers me daily

Could this be...real affection?! GASP!

(yes I'm quoting FJM)

Shut UP!!!

7:30AM

So we had sex, but it wasn't that good bc I was super distracted

Why?

Bc I left half a burger in my car

And he was tryin' to be sexy

He was all, "Tell me what you want, babe"

And all I could think of was, "I want to get my damn burger so it doesn't stink up my car!" 👀🍔☠️

Dude.

This is why you're single.

You do get that, right?

Ouch. My feels.

10:52PM

I'm drunk

Oh boy, this should be interesting!

Did it hurt?

Did what hurt, Jake?

When you fell from Heaven ;)

Oh Lord, you ARE drunk

And no, it hurt when I smashed my face against the earth's crust as I came flying out of Hell

WELL THAT BACKFIRED

2:37AM

Guess who's bored

Guess.

C'mon.

🙃

It's me. I'm bored.

Answer meeee!

Go the fuck to sleep, Jacke

*Jake

WOW

I mean, thanks for thinking I'm jacked, but that's not my name

Typo was cause you woke me up, ass

🎶THAT'S NOT MY NAME, THAT'S NOT MY NAME 🎶

Goooooo to sleeeeeeeep Jacob

Ha-ha! How do you like a taste of your own medicine, Orion Bauwens?!

I'd prefer sour milk. Goodnight, Jacob.

3:59PM

Dude

Dude-bro

Shamalama dude-bro

S'up?

you'd marry me if I asked you to?

Are you drunk?

Maybe

Possibly

There's actually a high probability of me being intoxicated rn 🤔

I'd marry the fuck out of you in an instant, Jake

Awww, thanks shamalama dude-bro

JACOB, IT'S THE AFTERNOON ON A TUESDAY. STOP. DRINKING.

I wince, a flicker of guilt going through me. When Jake said stuff like that, I thought we were just messing around. I'm such an idiot. There's more like that.

1:33AM

Is your insomniatic fuck face awake?

Why, what a sweet greeting Jacob! And yes, I am, fuckboi. Tf do you want?

My head's kinda a mess, and I feel compelled to walk around outside to clear it.

But I don't wanna, you know, get murdered

You're so dramatic, Jacob 😑

Come with? Be my knight in shining armor?

I'll be there in an instant. 🤺💂‍♂️🤴

Wtf, we're not British, yo

I know, that was the closest I could get to a knight, okay?! 😤

You forgot being all sexy, riding in on a horse to save me 🏇

Whatever. I'll be right over.

Okay, more like ten instances, I gotta throw on some clothes

Don't 👀👀👀

JACOB!

LOL thx. <3

<3 Dork

5AM

Does time ever feel slow to you?

...fuck, Jake, I was just about to go to sleep

At 5 in the morning?

I don't sleep, remember?

Oh, right. Nvm

No, what's up, 4reel. You sound serious

My mind is just pulling a you and thinking too much

Hey--I'm here.

...never mind. Love you. Go to sleep.

Love you too Jakey Wakey.

🎶AND IIIIIIIIIII--WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOooOOOooOOU 🎶

LMFAO dude. Your nickname is Whitney now, forever and always

Fuck you.

7:34AM

What's up?

Abt 2 have a mental breakdown, u?

Currently having one.

I'll be right over

Don't forget the lube

JACOB!

I switch over to texts between Ben and myself. There aren't as many, but they're just as funny.

4:16PM

Hey, I need advice

Nvm, I already did the stupid thing

--sigh--

2:42PM

Knock knock

Where who?

Who's their?

They're

THERE

Fuck you, dude, you asshole! I don't even wanna tell you the joke now!!!

Aw c' mon

No

C'mon!

No!!! You ruined it, forever!

😑

FOREVEEEEEEEEER!!! *SCREECH*

Whatever, O

11:44AM

You're adorable

I AM NOT ADORABLE

I AM SOMETHING TO BE FEARED

I AM PURE EVIL

I MAKE LUCIFER HIMSELF QUAKE

...if by fear you mean you make people afraid they're going to die of cuteness, then yes, you're something to be feared

LMFAO fuck you, Ben

And if you mean, make Lucifer quiver because he's trying not to melt into a puddle of goo over you, then yes.

Shut up, Ben

And if

SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE DUDE

--cackle--

5:32PM

EAT DINNER ORI

I DID

COCOA PUFFS THAT YOU USED JACK DANIEL'S AS THE MILK FOR DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A DINNER, MR. BAUWENS, SIR.

Aw, you know me so well <3

I hate you. So Much.

😘

8AM

You're being so mean already today

I'm mean every day, Ben

Fuck, do we even know each other???

Hi, I'm Orion Bauwens, nice to meet you

Don't text me anymore, duffass

Dufis

Dufice

You spelling skills never cease to amaze me, doofus

YEAH THAT!!!

Thank God you're a phenomenal drummer, Ben

Aw, that's so nice

Hey, wait a minute 😒

12:25AM

But if I say pretty please, would you lick my boots?

Please stop drunk texting me, Orion

I'm not even drunk!

Why am I your friend?

You like pain. See! Now lick my boot.

EW! Goodnight, Orion.

2:30PM

Do you mean it?

No.

I'm lying.

Glitter and rainbows are going to come shooting out of my asshole instead

Why you gotta be so sarcastic 24/7?

Because I invented sarcasm, bitch

LMAO WOW, okay, that was good.

I shake my head, going back to the home screen of my phone. I'm lucky; I'm really, really lucky. To have friends like that, where I can be myself without judgement...Who, more importantly, stand by me through everything...

I pull up my messages again, grinning ear to ear.

Mutants Chat (Glo, Jake, Ben)

9:34AM

Moooooooorning all you beautiful people! 😘

Gloria: Beautiful people...?

Jake: Where is Orion, and what have you done with him?

Damn, guys! Harsh.

Gloria: What's up, 🎃? ;)

Ben: Hey! Surprised to see a text from you this early

Jokes on you, I'm sleep-texting

Ben: Whatdoyawant?

We should meet up at EMI tomorrow to discuss our tour. I'm excited! 😊😊😊🤟🎸

Jake: Okay seriously, whoever this is, give me my best friend back.

Fuck you, Jacob.

Gloria: LOL! Aye aye aye....

Jake: There we go, that's better.

Ben: --robot voice-- Authentication verified

LOL. Fuck off.