The pastor stood in the dappled afternoon sun and began. "Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of..."

Brian and Beth were the ideal couple, good looking, successful, the envy of family and friends. They met interning at a non-profit agency dedicated to protecting the environment. It took Brian three months to work up the nerve to ask her out. The whole time Beth, infatuated with Brian, thought he didn't like her because he always seemed to avoid eye contact, mumble something incoherent and walk away. They laughed about it on their first date to the San Diego zoo and talk for hours about their love of animals and the planet. They adopted a penguin together.

Soon Beth moved into Brian's green-built condo and went back to school to get a teaching degree so she could dedicate her career to helping autistic children. Brian became the director of a privately funded agency fighting climate change. They engaged in eco-friendly travel, became vegan while training for a marathon, and paid for a recycling service that would take items not accepted by the city.

Brian called Beth his cuddly cat, and Beth called Brian her carebear. Beth looked smokin' in a bikini and Brian buffed up more than ever after trying CrossFit. He proposed at sunset on the beach with a conflict-free diamond, ethically mined and sold.

They stood now at the alter at Beth's father's country club with the Pacific ocean lolling lazily in the distance. The sun shone brightly on a gorgeous seventy-five degree June day. Beth's veil fluttered in the light breeze. She looked radiant. Brian steadied his nerves and glanced to his right at Beth. She gave him a soft smile but remained attentive to the sermon. Brian glanced to his left at Rus, his best man. Rus flashed a confidant smile at Brian and briefly put his and on Brian's shoulder.

"If anyone knows any reason why this couple should not be joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace." The pastor paused and the guests seated white chairs arranged in prim rows remained silent. The only sound heard was the rippling of the wind in the trees above them and the faint tweet of a bird.

The groom turned and faced the audience. "Does anyone have a problem with us getting married he asked?" A polite twitter rose from the well-dressed crowd. Brian turned to his best man. "Do you have a problem with us getting married?"

Now the deafening silence became uncomfortable. Rus shifted his weight from one foot to the next. "No man, you guys are meant to be."

Then Brian turned to the bride. "Do you see any reason why we shouldn't get married." His voice had risen to a hysterical pitch. The jaws of those sitting in the lovely rows of chairs dropped, as did that of the pastor.

"What are you doing Brian?" asked Beth in a loud whisper, glancing nervously at her parents sitting just three feet from her in the front row.

"Well I do!" continued Brian now yelling. "Because you," he stabbed an accusing finger into the middle of the best man's tuxedo-clad chest, "have been sleeping with you," he swung a hundred and eighty degrees and pushed his index finger into the bride's forehead with enough force to make her take a step back, "for the last three months."

Even the scenic ocean view felt awkward as Brian took off his jacket, threw it on the ground, and ripped off his bow tie and shirt revealing a baseball jersey underneath. Pushing past the pastor, he reached into a nearby bush and pulled out a baseball bat.

"I'll be leaving now because I have a game," said Brian as he sauntered down the aisle.