I don't think people realize how traumatic simple things can be. I remember telling an online friend about what was going on in my life and she fucking congratulated me. Like it was a great thing. Like it was something I wanted.

People don't ever go up to the new kid wondering what they lost, they only see what they don't have. Sure, they know they don't have friends but people don't think about the friends they've lost. I think it's the same way with a lot of things. People don't take time to realize what you've lost, what you're grieving, they only want to fix what you don't have.

Aileen blocks out everything around her except for the tears cutting pathways down Neo's face. She knows that her cheeks match the wet ones that Neo bears, but she pays no notice to them, she just wants Neo to be okay. She knows that isn't possible.

"Neo," Aileen says, voice surrounded by mucus and tears.

"You can't go," Neo chokes out. Aileen looks down at her feet, her entire body shaking both with sobs and fear. She feels a hand on her shoulder.

"We have get on the road soon," Aileen's mother says gently. Aileen nods, shivering violently like a leaf in a thunderstorm. "I'll leave you two alone so you can say goodbye." Aileen nods again, crying harder at the word goodbye.

Once Aileen's mom leaves, she looks up at Neo again and the sight breaks her heart to the point of no return. "I love you so much," Aileen sobs, barely able to get the words out of her mouth. Neo squeezes his eyes shut, trying to block the water behind them. Aileen throws her arms around Neo's neck and buries her head in her friend's shoulder. Neo's arms immediately fly up to Aileen's back as she grips her tightly.

"I love you too," he says through tears.

"Guys, I'm really sorry but we have to go." Aileen squeezes Neo closer to her.

"I'm not letting go," she says forcefully. "I'm never letting you go."

"Aileen! We have to go! Your brother is in the car crying and he's not going to stop until we start driving! Come on!"

Aileen pulls back from Neo and shakes her head so hard that it might as well have detached itself from her body. "I can't leave you."

"I don't want you to go. Please don't go."

"Aileen!"

"I can't go!"

Aileen's mom takes her by the hand and leads her to the car. Aileen stops fighting, all willpower in her broken. Every part of her, broken.

She ducks inside the car and her mom closes the door, climbing into shotgun. Aileen presses her hand to the window as Neo does the same from the outside. Aileen's dad starts the engine of the car and puts his foot to the gas. Aileen watches Neo chase after the car as it takes off after the moving truck bound for the other side of the country.

"I'm never letting you go," Aileen whispers.

Sometimes I feel like everybody's moving forward except for me. Like we're all running this race of life, but I never trained for it. I never even tied my shoes- I just keep tripping. Falling down- down- down- but never once able to hit the ground. Because no matter how far I fall, it seems that I can always fall farther.

How can I fall farther than this? How can I be any more broken? I'm shattered! I'm useless! Hear this tribute to my broken! My broken love, my broken relationships, my broken life, my broken self.

But life will always find a way. To knock you down. To push you farther into the ground. So hear this tribute to my broken but know, the worst is yet to come. 

***

A/N: And that's it! That's the last chapter! I hope you liked it, I almost cried writing this chapter. I want to say that this is no way to live your life. Always believing that things will just get worse. Things can always get better. Always. There is always hope and always light, no matter how small the glimmer may be. 

Love,
Sunny <3