Love is a funny thing.

When you're in it it's the most beautiful thing in the world. I think they call that infatuation. That time when nothing can go wrong and you're just constantly smiling so hard your face feels like it's going to crack in two. You're floating above everything because you have love in your heart, and much like hot air rises, you are on a hot air balloon- the fire, the fuel is your heart as it propels you upward- you will never hit the ground...until you do. Because love fucking hurts. It hurts more than anything will ever hurt you. It doesn't matter what kind of love you're in- romantic, platonic, or something that transcends time and space- it doesn't matter because you will get cut. You will get scarred.

I tell myself it's worth it, and I know I would do it all again just to love you, but there are times where I really don't fucking believe myself.

Aileen feels a smile overtake her face. She's no longer in control of what her body does. There's a string attached to her chest at all times- pulling, tugging, her towards the person at the other end, and that person is finally in sight.

Aileen sprints across the wet, grassy field, her hair chasing behind her, like a flame to gas, but this fire will never reach her. Nothing can reach her. She stops in front of the person who she hasn't stopped thinking about since last she saw them. Her best friend. Her favorite person. Her world.

"Hi," she says, bouncing on her feet, her heart racing.

"Hi," Neo replies, his own face breaking into a soft expression that makes Aileen's heart melt.

The two friends talk as they walk towards the small playground that is their destination. Aileen can't help but feel giddy every time Neo laughs, his entire face lighting up with joy. As the friends clamber up onto the structure, they sit down beside each other, two inches of space present between their bodies. They sit with their knees pulled up to their chests, and Aileen lets hers fall slightly to the side so that they're touching Neo's. Neo glances over at Aileen and brings his body closer so that every inch of their sides are touching. They have no barriers now. They can't afford any more barriers- flitting around each other and never saying what they really mean. They have nothing to lose except each other, and they both know that they're already going to lose that.

Bittersweet air envelopes the friends as they subtly lean into each other, both thinking the same thing but neither daring to say it out loud. It's too perfect right now. This wasn't a moment they wanted to ruin. Neo turns to look at Aileen, and Aileen can feel his eyes boring into her skin. She turns her head.

The golden sunlight dances in Neo's eyes- warm rays playing with his tangled hair. The trees reflect in his glasses and his cheeks fade into a soft red color, burning tiny embers onto the surface of her skin.

"You suck," Aileen breathes, words barely daring to exit her mouth.

"Why's that?" Neo asks, eyes trailing over Aileen's features. Aileen swallows, feeling her mouth get dry as letters stringing into the poetry she would write about the boy sitting in front of her got stuck in her throat.

"You look so amazing right now." Aileen can feel Neo's breathing against her as it gets nervous.

"Why does that mean I suck?" Neo asks quietly, trying to laugh but choking instead. Aileen bites her lip.

"I'm currently having to remember how to function." She pauses, telling air to enter her lungs. "I think I forgot how to breathe," she whispers. Red washes over Neo's face, like a tidal wave making its way towards land. They sit like that, staring at each other, neither of them being bold enough to move. They had never been bold enough to move. Would they ever be bold enough to move?

Aileen opens her mouth, a small, nervous laugh tumbling out of it. "I'm just going to quote you here because otherwise, I'll never be brave enough to do this," she pauses taking a deep shuddering breath. "I'm going to stop being a coward about this. Hi. I have a crush on you. Can I-" Breath. "Can I kiss you?" Neo smiles and nods gently. Aileen leans toward him, stopping with barely any space between their lips. She can feel her friend's breath on her face as she let her close the rest of the distance.

Aileen melts into Neo as they connect, feeling as though she had never known a lifetime without him in it. Feeling as if she was meant to be here in this moment, and even though she knew she would never go looking for love, she sure thought falling into it was beautiful. Feeling as though as long as Neo was with her she would be safe.

As the two friends pull apart, Aileen keeps her eyes closed for a moment, committing every sense to mind. Feeling the wind pass over her skin as her lips tingle from where warm rough ones had been situated just a moment before. Seeing the bright light just behind her eyelids and the memory of a person right in front of that as soon as she opens...Aileen takes in the sight of Neo. Neo, who is her best friend. Neo, who is the only person in the world who can somehow make her smile. Neo, who makes her feel like she matters- like she's enough. Neo.

Neo laughs slightly, never breaking eye contact. He had always been better at holding his gaze than Aileen had. "I believe I said something more to the effect of: 'I'm going to stop being a pussy about this. Hi. I have a crush on you. Do you want to hold hands and shit next time we see each other?" Aileen giggles, feeling her face flush.

"You know how I am with cussing."

"I know how you are with pretty much everything," Neo replies softly. "I know you."

I used to watch a show and it had a character in it who had awful social anxiety, she never really felt comfortable around people. That is until she met a boy who was just like she was. They just clicked. And it was beautiful. They became inseparable. They laughed together. They cried together. They shared everything until...

Until he died.

It was all over. Everything they had been through together- that was it. There wasn't going to be anymore laughing or crying or anything at all because he was gone.

I'll never understand how she didn't shed a tear. How that girl seemed so peaceful with the fact that her best friend, her crush, her first, the only person in this stupid shitty world who really understood her- was just...gone.

When asked about the nature of their relationship, specifically was it romantic, the girl shook her head slowly, pondering. "No," she had said, and I'll never forget the words she uttered next.

"It was kind of...immortal." 

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A/N: Hi there! I hope you liked this chapter, if you did please consider leaving a vote/comment!

This story is extremely close to my heart and I'm really enjoying writing it, so I really hope you enjoy it too.

Love,
Sunny