I saw him today. The second I held his hand, a huge sigh of relief came from me. At first it was like a dream. I was numb to everything happening. Like if I closed my eyes, it was all going to disappear. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let him go. I still want to kiss him endlessly. He kissed my neck at lunch. I didn't want him to stop. It made my head go fuzzy and sent tingles throughout my body. I miss it so much. 

She told a lot more lies to my father. Now he's going to the school tomorrow. He's just going to make a fool out of himself. She conveniently told him not to go. She wouldn't have done that if it was true. She stole my original journal. In it, I had wrote that I am no longer a virgin. I'm going to have to make a plan to make it seem like I lied in it. So far, the plan is in motion.

I drew him a picture. We had been talking about the stars one night so I drew them for him. I was going to give it to him today, but I forgot it. I'll give it to him tomorrow. When he talked about the stars and space he talked about their beauty. I love hearing him talk about the things he loves. He gets this certain look in his eyes. His voice changes and is more relaxed. 

Sara doesn't support my relationship with Spencer. She keeps telling me to break up with him. She never really was a good friend to me. If something didn't go her way she would shut down and ignore me. I supported her relationship. The least she could do is support mine. I bet my mom is saying things to her. That's the only explanation I can think of other than she never supported me in the first place. 

I keep dreaming about him. In some, we're older and living together. The rest involve me sneaking out or him sneaking in. We would sneak out to a clearing and watch the stars. Or, he would spend the night. Some dreams involved sex, others didn't. All of them had us kissing, in more places than just the lips.