The brightly lit hall is filled with people, all dressed in their expensive best. The aroma of food, the lilt of music, hearty laughter and babbling voices, wafts through the air filling the hall and the lawn outside.

Padmini is bound to a chair seated in a dishevelled state, her presence overlooked by everyone. Her skin crawled in shame, like being stripped and exposed to the whole world to see.

There in the middle of the room right under an ornamental chandelier on a raised dais stood Chandrakanth beside Kayla both of them dressed in rich ethnic attire. Someone spoke in a muffled voice, which was followed by sounds of approval from the guests.

Chandrakanth and Kayla exchange rings as everyone applauds and cheers. Paarth and Aparna walk up the dais with garlands and hand them to Chandra and Kayla. They exchange the garlands and then Sneha hands a box to Chandrakanth who proceeds to tie the Mangalsutra around Kayla's neck. Padmini is kicking and screaming in protest but in vain. Celebratory music is played, cheers and wishes for the newlywed ring in so loud that Padmini's wails are muffled.

Padmini breaks free from the restraints, stumbles up to Aparna, Paarth and Sneha who disregard her and walk away behind  Chandrakanth and Kayla. She is pushed and jostled aside by the crowd like an urchin. Her children ignoring her, hurts more than she could endure.

The hall is now empty like her life, echoing her sobs and the glass walls mirroring her shattered self-respect! She falls to the ground, twisted under the weight of deceit and shame like a crushed flower.

Anger, pain and bitterness fill her heart, rising to the surface like a great tide; but she feels weak unable to rise with it, manoeuvre it to her advantage and destroy all that hurt her. She did what she always had, drown under the weight of the overwhelming emotions and sink into the deep, dark abyss of despondency where everything was still and numb; where she watched herself being carried away in the ebb and flow of life like driftwood. 'What more can a weak person like me do? Weak and pathetic!' She hated herself for being so vulnerable.

Suddenly there was a lot of commotion and few security guards walk in yell at her, and drag her and throw her outside the gates of Kanth Manor. While Chandrakanth, Kayla and all the guests laugh and jeer at her. She felt her body burn in humiliation, she sat up and let out a heart chilling cry, screaming "Appu, Paartha..." anxiously searching for them one last time!

Confused, Padmini frantically looks around to find herself in the bedroom at Meera's house.

Another torturous nightmare!

"You are safe Padmini, nobody can harm you here." Kabeer spoke in a calm reassuring voice as he walked up to her bed and placed a bottle of water near her pillow "drink this".

She was shaking, still reeling from the impact of the dream, hugged herself, furiously wiping away the tears on her dress sleeves. He pulled a chair and sat near foot of the bed while respecting her personal space, observing her for a few minutes.

"You know my dreams are always in black and white".

"Huh..?" Padmini seemed confused.

"My dreams.." he made sure he caught her attention, "they are never in colour, it's always been black and white. You know like the old Awara and Boot Polish movies? It's a fact! You know about 12% of people experience dreams in black and white. Especially older people like 55 plus. What about you? Colour or black and white? Bright picture quality like HD tv?"   

He spoke with such a solemn expression that Padmini began wondering if her dream was colour or black and white and then realised his gimmick and scowled at him.

He chuckled and gestured at the bottle.
"I do have nightmares too." She darted up at him surprised, closing the bottle cap.

"What? Are you the uncrowned queen of horror land and nightmares are your loyal subjects? It's the gift of a shitty life and we all have our fair share too!" he shrugged his shoulders as a matter of factly.

His lips twisted up in a faint smile and Padmini tried to suppress hers. "There aren't any thieves around here, so feel free."

Her eyebrows knit in confusion.
"Huh?"

"Poets have always compared the teeth of a woman to pearls, so I thought you are hesitant to show your pearly whites... so assuring you there aren't any thieves around here."

Pulling her lips to a thin line in an attempt to conceal a smile, she gave him an annoying glare instead.

He stood up, wearing a smug grin, "Well done, Kabeera!" He pat himself on his back "Twice! two God damn times I made you say 'Huh' in the past five minutes.  Next class we can try more three letter words."

He turned around and left the room. Padmini sat there comparing his attempt to humor her with Parul, 'her Pagal Pari'.

Kabeer came back after knocking the bedroom door, he held a small carton which he placed near the bed. He gestured at them, "these belonged to my parents" he pulled a couple of books. "Hindi and English books, there are more in the other room. My father was crazy about collecting author signed books" he flipped open a book and showed. "You can borrow any book anytime you want to".

She began looking through the neatly stacked books eagerly, satisfied that her mind was occupied with something better he left her.

~~~~~~~

Padmini's POV

It's been a week since I was discharged, Meera took me to her house, it's a small two-bedroom stand-alone house, somewhere in Bengaluru. I do not know how I can thank them both for all their help. The nurse said the hospital bills were reduced to half since Meera who is a senior staff nurse there, claimed that I was her relative.

Well, I'm not an alien and am aware that hospital bills could burn your pockets. Why am I always a burden to everybody? They rescued me, treated me, paid my bills and now hosting me at their house... food, clothes, etc.
I felt guilty for imposing on them.

Meera works in shifts at the hospital where I was treated. Kabeer is at home since he quit work recently according to Meera. He keeps working on his laptop most of the time. The days go by somewhat quiet, and it is the night that I dread. Ever since I woke up from the short period of coma that I had slipped into, nightmares have been my constant companion. Nightmares of the nightmare I survived in the name of marriage.

Most of the nights I wake up screaming in agony and fear, crying uncontrollably. It all feels so real as though I was enduring them right at that moment. Chandra hurting me physically, with some sort of weapon hurting until I bleed and nearly die, I scream in agony and wake up.

Somedays I see him as a bloodthirsty monster who sexually abuses me and sucks my blood until I wake up gasping for breath. At times I see us both in a room full of people where he talks to me abusively and all the onlookers snickering and poking fun at me. He then strips me bit by bit despite me begging him and trying to save my modesty; while all of them watch. I wake up crying and screaming covering myself desperately with every possible garment around me hysterically.

There are the ones where he ties me holds me captive and make me watch him indulge in sex with various women, and ridicule me in front of them. Recent ones have been his marriage with Kayla, where my children stand by him and scorn me. These leave me drained of all energy; physically and mentally and these thoughts linger on for the rest of the day.

Meera and Kabeer have been very patient with me, putting up with all the trouble and pain I'm inflicting them, taking care of me day and night. Meera keeps talking to me about her work to distract me while she sits by my side and holds my hand, assuring that I'm safe. Kabeer just stands outside the room with an unreadable expression on his face.

Past two days Meera has been on the night shift, I helped her do some cleaning around the house hoping the physical exertion would cause sound sleep. It worked, but not for long. Here I'am, after that dream which shook me and woke up Kabeer also. He tried to pull my mind off the lingering fragments of the dream by talking some random stuff and it did work. I glance at the books in the carton and the one in my hand, he was kind enough to loan me his parents' collection. I gently run my fingers on the spine of the book I held, it was a collection of Rabindranth Tagore's poetry.

~~~~~~~

Next day I was engrossed in the book when the main door of the house flies open breaking the silence that fills the house until Meera returns from work.
I'm pleasantly surprised when I hear boisterous laughter amidst childish giggles and pitter-patter of tiny feet around the house. Suddenly someone dashes into the room I shared with Meera. A little boy of around 4 or 5 ran in and stood frozen at my sight, nervously assessing me. Carrying a remarkable resemblance to Meera except for the soft brown mop of hair, while hers is jet black and curly. He was followed by Kabeer who hurriedly pulled away a mickey mouse mask realising my presence.

He slowly knelt to the boy's level, "Maamu" (maternal uncle) the little one whispered timidly burying his face into Kabeer's nape, fisting his shirt in his tiny chubby fingers. They both whispered something to each other and Kabeer lifted him in his arms and turning around, angeled the boy towards me. He slowly glanced up, half hiding his face on Kabeer's shoulders peeked one eye at me and when he realised I was looking at him, he shied away, giggling, kicking his feet in glee. Kabeer let out hearty laughter and my heart melted at the sight of this 'miniature Meera' reminding me of my children.

"Abhimanyu, Meera's son." Kabeer looked like a different person around his nephew, "Abhi say Namaste to Padmini aunty". I heard more muffled giggles from the little one and an unsteady "Nai" (No). 

"Don't force him he will warm up in some time" I did not want to restrict my smile brought on by Abhi's arrival.

Kabeer spun around quickly to make sure I actually spoke and nodded his head in agreement and left. I do not blame him, it feels strange to hear myself after nearly three weeks.

Abhi kept a distance from me but was curious enough to steal a glance at me now and then or let out a sheepish chuckle when I took an interest in him. He was energetic and playful like all toddlers, taking a toll on Meera who was exhausted after long shifts at the hospital.

I began helping her with chores at home at first both of them protested, but when I said it helps me stay calm and keeps me mentally occupied they agreed.
I fondly rub a sleeping Abhi's head who has a silent agreement with me, I'm his official story teller. He would sleep near Meera but I was the one to narrate a story to lull him to sleep. I was reliving my motherhood with the longing to meet Paarth, Aparna, Sneha and my unborn grandchild growing steadily in me.

Abhi became the bonding point and everything in the house revolved around him. He was helping me heal and I wanted to help him.

Author's note:
Greetings and apologies my dear friends!
No justification for the delay, just sincere apologies. 🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤

Hope all of you are doing well and taking good care of yourselves!

Thank you for giving me and my work some consideration. October is the month of Domestic violence awareness (marked by a purple ribbon).

Has anyone here witnessed domestic abuse/ violence in personal life?
Among family/ friends or in your neighborhood?

If you are comfortable sharing them please do in the comment section, while keeping the identity of the said individual anonymous, respecting their rights and privacy🙏

September 22nd 2021