Allison

I couldn't sleep the whole night or even half the day. I had turned and twisted in the bed with Adam on my mind. How could people lie about pregnancy? Was it really easy, just a few words because it didn't feel the same for me? From all that I thought it was really hard. It made me question myself, made me question my thoughts, upbringing, and conscience. Maybe all those people who could lie about such a thing were either desperate or lying was second nature to them. I wanted to go with the former one because I had been put in a place like that.

I wasn't desperate but I was put in a position where others desperation had me doing it. After speaking the lie I had walked out of there without a backward glance. I didn't want to talk to anybody and even though more than a day had passed since that I couldn't look at my phone at all. Somewhere it had been more than thirty-six hours since that, Adam hadn't called back at all but I was scared to see even a text from him. Even my phone was haunting me in a way. While everyone was waiting for Adam to show up at my door, I was dreading to face him.

Had they put someone on the lookout duty over at my door? I wondered.
It sounded crazy but it couldn't be ruled out.

All of them wanted me to sleep at Christa's house and I could understand why. Christa had approached me with the idea of Dolores just behind her. I had to turn down the idea on the spot. I knew deep down Dolores wanted to keep an eye on me, maybe they all did and they were right to because I had the inkling inside of me, to tell the truth to Adam, to just ask him and get this over with. However, there was a fear inside of me too that he could easily lie to me about it on the phone.

No one had an idea how difficult it was for me.

I was a big girl yet I wanted to cry over it like a baby, which I never did. Turning in my bed I looked up at the ceiling wondering how I became part of this mess or more like why. All I wanted to do was work, climb the corporate ladder, and date the bad boys. I was a badass bitch back in my town but Dolores made me feel like a child. Suddenly everything seemed lost to me.

The ringing of the doorbell had me shut my eyes. Not again. It might have been Dolores or Christa to know about whether Adam had called. I was so tired of this game we were playing. It was draining me out. The constant overthinking was pulling me deeper into a place where I had never been to. The bell rang once again making me move from my deep slumber of sheets and pillows to attend the door.

I was betting it to be Dolores. Last time it was Christa this time I had my bet it to be Dolores with Christa in tow. The constant ringing of the bell had me almost falling due to twisting my leg in the sheets. Didn't they know I had heard them the first time?

Yanking the door open I was looking nothing less of a short mess, ready to snap at Dolores or even Christa but I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw the disheveled black hair and piercing green eyes looking at me. With a traveling suitcase in his hand and a bag over his shoulder, I was sure that he was coming straight away from the airport.

"Adam," my voice barely a whisper but he just smiled looking at him. He looked tired, somehow a lot more than tired, but how he looked at me made me want to cry. My heart beat so rapidly against my rib cage that I was scared that I might pass out or even have a little heart attack. The way his eyes looked at me with so much concern and love was like someone hitting a hammer on my heart. It was a painful experience, to begin with.

"Allison," my name rolled out of his lips as if prayer and guilt seeped into my veins.

"I came as soon as I could," he said as he wet his lips and all I could do was follow the movements. The images of our night together flashed through my mind. The way he teased me, how he played with my body, and the bliss I felt in one night with him. The concern that followed, the intimacy that we were wrapped in was beautiful in its way but right now us standing here felt so wrong.

"Allison," he called out my name as I zoned out in my thoughts. Taking steps toward me, he wrapped his arms around my waist. His lips resting over my neck on the sweet spot, I felt relieved and worried at the same time. Calm and chaos were what I was feeling as he held me in his arms. His cologne was all that I could breathe in and my eyes shut in close as I wrapped my arms around him. It was scary but I didn't care, I just wanted to be in his arms, wanted his support to gain my strength. He will hate me after this, it was going to be more than hate and  I knew deep down it was going to hurt bad.

My hold on him tightened as his lips touched my skin. I didn't want to let go of him, didn't want to take a step back and welcome the reality we were supposed to be in.

"I'm here," he breathed against my skin and my eyes grew teary. "Don't worry about anything. I'm here for you and our child." His words pained me and there was nothing I could do about it.  I held onto him as long as I could till he had to detach himself from my hold. I felt like a leech sucking on his excellent emotions.

"It's alright," he held my cheeks in his hands forcing me to look up at him. The tears made my vision a bit blurry but he was here. His thumbs wiped my tears away as he said soothing words to me but I couldn't stop myself. It had been almost three months since I had last seen him. He had just walked out in a hurry and I had let it slide. Maybe I was this emotional due to my hormonal cycle.

His lips touched mine and I was gone. I kissed him with all I had, for all th emotions that had been building inside of me for the last twenty-four hours and more. It was wrong but I just couldn't stop as his lips demanded mine for more. It was hard for me to stop as he held me closer to him with his arms wrapped around my waist. 

"God, I missed you so much," he said between our kisses.

"Allison," I heard my name but that didn't have me letting go of Adam.

"Allison," this time my name was called out louder making me snap out of my current state. I turned my head to see both Dolores and Christa both standing there. I had no idea which one of them was calling my name but I was amazed by their timing. Was this a coincidence or one of them was guarding my door? I wanted to ask but the presence of Adam's hand around my waist reminded me that I couldn't.

There was also the issue of me having to tell him the truth.

"Adam," Christa called out his name and he just gave back her a sheepish smile.

"Hey," he let go of one of his hands from my waist to say hello to her. His other hand on my waist somehow felt like burying me because of the lie I had dished out to him. I was so confused about my feelings that I had no idea what I was supposed to feel. The chemistry was there, the pull was there but the lie I had told was killing me. However, the thought that he had helped Jayce and Richard in hurting Christa made me want to puke my guts out.

"You told me you were not in the States," Christa spoke with an expression as she was surprised by this. Dolores just stared at me.

"Yeah I wasn't here at all but I had to come back for something important," he squeezed his arm around my waist and I was genuinely drowning in guilt.

"Well, I'm glad you are here there is something really important I want to talk to you about. Something that involves Jayce, Richard, and you," Christa's words had Adam grow stiff. I tried to have a good look at him but all I could get was the side view. He didn't reply anything but just stared at Christa who was staring at me.

The way he didn't say anything had me wondering if was there something he was hiding.

"Adam," I called him with a hand over his shoulder to have him zone out of from wherever he was lost.

"Are you alright?" I asked and as he turned to look at me I knew something was not right. The way he gave me a stiff reassuring smile which seemed fake, told me something was fishy.

Somehow I felt the guilt weighing me down in my stomach easing by a bit. It was as if my stomach was in a knot and the knot had been eased by a small amount to let me able to breathe with a little bit less pain.

"I'm fine," he replied as he let go of my waist. "What is it about Jayce?" He directed the question towards Christa taking the step away from me.

"Something that happened three years back and affects me at all levels," I looked at Christa and for the first time she looked angry. I could hear in her voice that she was pissed off and all of it was directed towards Adam.

"Affected you?" Adam's words had me perplexed. I looked at him and he was confused by the expressions he showed.

"Who else it would have affected?" Dolores who was just watching stepped in the conversation.

"Not someone Christa or you might know," he replied and it dawned on me that something had happened in the past three years back. Suddenly the day of our date flashed in my mind. There was a conversation where he mentioned something big happening three years back. Something that was life-altering for him and Jayce.

Jayce was nursing a black eye and some bruises. Richard has said that they were from messing up with Noel. Adam had warned them about something. As I looked more at Adam I realised that something was practically fucked up three years back. It was not my mess and I surely wanted to close the door and be happy in my little self.

If only I could ignore people and feelings I would have been a better person. I was sure that Lana would have some good piece of advice to give me. Most probably she would knock some sense into me for not poking my nose in other people's business but if I hadn't had that habit how would have Lana got that close.

"Maybe you all should talk in some place where everyone knows what happened three years back," I sighed because somewhere I felt exhausted by my thoughts. Everyone's eyes turned towards me.

"The only part I have about to complain is Noel drugging me and accusing me of being a rat sent by Adam and Richard to which I might add that I have had known none of them," I added.

"So please leave because my work here is done," suddenly I felt as if I should take a step back from all of this drama. I know that these people were going through something rough but when it took off my sanity I knew I had to double-check. The elevator chimed just in time as I said my piece. Noel and Alex stepped out of the elevator and just like that everything was in order my bet was on Dolores informing them.

I just turned around and locked myself in my bedroom. I was tired, exhausted, and in dire need of sleep. The anxiety that was eating me alive washed over me. The guilt I was feeling vanished because in the end there wasn't a single bone in any of their bones making them innocent.


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