Allison

My mind was in the fucking haze. I didn't know what to do or where I was going. I was fucking lost. I looked at my own deshellved reflection in the elevator. My head ached too badly beside the pain I felt in my heart. I had pushed the button like a maniac because I needed to be away from him or any memory of him. I can't believe I had fucked him. Every time my eyes met the deformed me I hated myself. I wanted to burn every inch of me that he had touched. Hatred pours out of every pore of my skin. How could I have not seen what he was fucking thinking?

"What a fool I'm" I sobbed out in the lift. Wiping away the tears I tried to look decent but every fucking moment I looked at myself fresh tears escaped my eyes. What had happened to me? How could he have done this to me? How? How could I have let this happen to myself? I didn't deserve this. I didn't in any fucking condition. I met that man only once. Never before. I was no fucking rat. All I was helping my fucking boss and that is how I was repaid. What had I done to deserve it? I was battered feeling like a beaten dog.  as the doors opened I walked out of the building without fucking looking anywhere or at anyone. I needed to get out of there it was so fucking hard to even breathe fucking in here. Everything reminded me of him. I wanted to wipe him out of my life for well and for good. Hell with my job, I would kill him if I even saw him again or had a glimpse of him.

 I inhaled the fresh air in huge gulps as soon as I was out. I didn't look back and walked far away from the streets with no idea when the hell I was going. I just didn't care. I needed to forget about what he did to me, who he was. Wipe out his name from my life. Tears never stopped. They never did. I had never been so humiliated ever in my life. How could he just sleep this with me just for the sake of some fucking revenge, to teach my a lesson? He was a fucking monster. He deluded me into thinking that he was liking me. He made a fool of me in my eyes. When the hell did I became so easy, let him inside me? How could I have not seen the devil behind those eyes? 

You are just a class A hooker

His voice echoed in my mind.

"Allison," I could hear someone call me but Noel's word drowns me in pain that nothing mattered to me. 

You are one of the biggest slut in the world who goes around enjoying men and kissing them.

I was none of those things. I was just a girl who was doing her work. I was bold but not a slut, not a hooker. I cried silently. It hurt, it really did. It felt like high school over again. Being bullied and called a slut being a virgin. I had hated that it that time but right now I hated it more than ever. I couldn't fucking take it now. I had been hurt back then, pushed to the edge to take away my life. Why did it feel that the cycle will repeat all over gain? I was not a  hooker. Not a rat. I was loyal. I would never do what he accused me off.

"Allison," a hand on my shoulder snapped me out of misery. As I turned around with my teary hooded eyes I came face to face with the man who had been the key ingredient of what I suffered today. Helloked the same as I had seen the last time.

"Are you all right?" Adam's concerned voice made me cry more. He stepped towards me while I took one back. I didn't know what his and Noel's story was but I shouldn't have been dragged into this. I was no part of it and still had been humiliated in the worst possible way. It fucking hurt thinking that I had let someone fuck me just because he wanted to humiliate me take a revenge. 

"Allison," He called making me look straight in his gray eyes filled with concern and worry. Did he have any idea about what I went through just from one of his act that day? Did he had ever thought about the consequences that I was bound to suffer because of his one act, desire and lust? Was this what he had done to Christine? Her scared face flashed right in front of my eyes and enraged me. He was the root of all our problems. I was mad, sad, in pain and fucking angry at him. Without thinking I slapped him in the middle of the street with too many eyes watching.

"What the fuck had I ever did to you?" I raged at him.

"Allison, what the hell?" He whisper screamed at me after looking around. He was stunned but still calm. He took my hand and tugged me towards him. I wanted to slap him again but his hands in mine stopped me.

"I don't know what the hell happened but it's alright. Everything is fine or else it is going to be." I didn't know what the hell to do, to say. He acted so calm like I hadn't slapped him with a force that left marks over his face and it made me cry more. I didn't know what the hell was I doing.

"It's alright," he wiped away my tears. How could he have been evil Noel portrayed? He hugged me and rubbed my back trying to calm me. I was tired, devastated and hurt and I let myself fall in his arms without a struggle while my tears soaked his shirt. 

"Shhh, I'm here. Come on let's go," I let him pull me towards wherever he was taking me. There could happen nothing worse than what Noel did. It just couldn't. I didn't look around where I was going. I just felt safe for a moment and it was bliss for what Noel did to me. 

Only when I was seated did I took in my surroundings. We were in the central park. Adam was gone and when he returned back he had a water bottle in his hand. He offered me that with a smile and I just took it. Was he devil or an angel? It was so hard to understand.

"You feel better?" He asked sitting beside me making sure to give me enough space. I nodded to him as my cries came to an end. 

"Want to share what happened?" he asked and I just couldn't tell it to him. I might have but I needed to know more before I could say something. I didn't want to start a war between anyone and what I had went through was one of the most insulting and insulting experience I went through. I just couldn't say about it like that.

"What did you do to Christine?" I asked looking at the sky that had turned dark.

"What?" Suprise marked his voice.

"That night Christine paled as she looked at your table. Why? What made her want to rush out of there like a coward?" I wanted to know what had happened in the past that connected him to Christine and Noel because even unwillingly I was dragged into it. I heard him sigh and from the corner of my eyes, I looked at him. He closed his eyes like he was remembering things.

"My friend Jayce and she have a history. I have no idea about what happened between them but it was too bad to make her fear him. He is my best friend he denies to share what catastrophe passed between them. Even Jayce's brother doesn't know anything. I have tried to reason with Christine to tell me something but hse refuses to talk about it like he does. Christine is my friend too and it hurts just to think that my best friend made her cower away from him and the rest of her friends. The worst part is to know what she doesn't want any help and I have to see her like that." The concern and pain that filled his voice made me feel that he wasn't the devil that Noel was trying to portray him. He had still told me about Christine and Jayce even if it wasn't his place to tell me. How could he be the devil?

"Why did you trapped me with you that day?" I wanted to know that whether he was playing me too like Noel had done.

"You want like what I say and I'm really sorry for it in advance." Those words made my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. Maybe he was just like Noel.

"I'm a man who gets everything he wants. A bed charmer and handsome enough to make any girl to let me in her life just from a glance enough. I know it's me being cocky, arrogant and what not but being the son of the previous senator and a rich businessman boosted my ego and made it big as the sun. Every woman had become easy and approached me. When I looked at you I wanted you, needed you and it was hard to stare at you and not touch you. you had captivated me from one look with that angry face and fiery eyes. I didn't know how to talk to you or I even make the first move. Girls and ladies always approached and I had been the one to decline them. I stared at you as if I could consume you in." He rubbed his face and sighed like it was a very difficult thing to tell. I really hated him for how he thought so highly of him and women. It annoyed me.

 "So when you didn't come to me I walked away in hopes that you would follow me. My ego was hurt and I'm really sorry for the animalistic way in which I behaved. Seeing you there coming for me I thought you desired me, wanted me like everyone did and was just trying hard to get but then I realized my mistake when you bit my lip. I didn't want to admit my mistake. It was hard too so I acted like a cocky bastard that I'm. I wish would have talked to you rather than going animal in heat on you. I'm really sorry. When I saw you on the street my only intention was to say sorry to you and walk away because I really didn't deserve you after what I did. However' seeing how you were I couldn't stop myself ." 

"I deserved the slap you gave me. Maybe I deserve more just so I could look you in the eyes once again and gain your forgiveness." His words filled with sorrow and sadness and that tugged my heart. I didn't look at him and just closed my eyes while breathing in the air like it was my only escape. How did my life turn into something so complicated and difficult one?

"I'm sorry Allison," I could feel him close to me and his eyes looking at me. 

"Can you forgive me?" His voice pleading.

"And let me make it right this time?" I didn't know what to say. After what Noel did to me I just wanted to stay far away from men. Not even be close to them but Adam was Noel. Adam was trying to be a man and accepting his mistake. He was apologizing. Trying to be a man. I was not a forgiving person but the sincerity in Adam's voice made me want to forgive him. He was not Noel. But was he worth forgiving it?

"Can you drop me home?" I asked without looking. I could feel his disappointment but yet he said nothing.

"Yes," He stood up waiting for me to grab my things. As I opened my eyes I found his staring into mine filled. They were filled with regret and sadness. I couldn't be wrong because I had seen that emotion so many times in the eyes of my friends. We stared at each other for minutes without saying anything. His feelings were deep and true. His eyes sucked me into the depth of his soul andI had to look away. I was too emotional today.

"Let's go," I stood up and waited for him to walk. I followed him out of the park and down the street. We walked for minutes in silence before we stopped by his Audi. He opened the door for me trying to be gentlemen but I could feel that it was new for him. As soon as I was in he rushed towards the driver seat while I just looked forward.

"Where is home?" his words made me really think where my home was. The lonely house I lived in wasn't home. I recited the address for my building and the car roared to life. In silence, we took in the journey back to my building. Reaching my building the car slowed down and came to a halt. I didn't rush away from it but waited for a home to say something and when he didn't I made my way out.

"I'm sorry for what I did Allison. Please forgive me if you can."  His words put a halt to my step. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. I wasn't cruel like Noel. Without looking at him I recited my number twice. 

"Just don't call me tomorrow." I needed time and space after what I went through. I couldn't easily forget what that has been done to me by a monster like Noel. Without waiting for his reply I walked into my building with my head held high until I reached the safety of my house before letting the pain and humiliation consume me. I  could forgive Adam but not right now only in time.

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