Chapter 26

Since my grandfather had woken me up with his phone call, and since I was aware that I had very little in my fridge back at my apartment that constituted breakfast, I decided to go for a quick grocery run.

An hour and six bags of grocery later, I was standing in the elevator going up.

I might have a bit overdone it.

But I didn't want Esther to be needing anything that wasn't there.

Now that I was thinking about that though, I frowned alone.

Should I buy her stuff? What did girls need? I didn't have sisters. I barely had a mother. I should probably buy her sanitary pads or tampons, right? Those were expensive and she would need some. But then stacking up the bathrooms with them would make me feel like the NASA that sent a hundred tampons for a week-long trip to space.

She had only been carrying her bag, so did she need clothes? Were there clothes in there?

Did I need to get her underwear?

I definitely couldn't be the one to do that.

Should I ask one of my girl friends to come and check on Esther? Maybe Esther would be more comfortable speaking with a girl, and asking her for stuff she might need.

But at the same time, she trusted me. Not Vanessa or Lexi or Daphnee. Me.

She'd opened up with me. It would be kind of a coward move to just dump her to someone else.

This would probably be so much easier to navigate if I wasn't so socially inept.

But now I was really spiraling. Did she need her school books? Did she need me to go to her grandmother's place and pick up more of her stuff? Pick up all her stuff? Because frankly, I would be a lot more comfortable if she just lived her for now on.

And now that I was on my way up, should I have called before dropping in? Maybe she wasn't okay to see people right now? Maybe she was still sleeping.

Hopefully, she would still be sleeping and I could just drop everything off and run away so I wouldn't have to explain any of this or make her feel uncomfortable.

It was too late for that now, because I was on the top floor.

Unfortunately for me, once I walked in the apartment, I found Esther sitting in the living room, curled up on my couch, reading what appeared to be one of my books—I assumed she wasn't carrying around a copy of Percy Jackson in her bags—wearing one of my hoodies.

"Oh." She kind of jumped, looking like I'd caught her doing something wrong. "Hi! Sorry," she said, waving at me.

She looked really adorable, sitting there, kinda lost in my big hoodie.

I probably shouldn't tell her that though.

"Hi." I replied back and went to drop the grocery bags in the kitchen. "What's wrong?" I asked loud enough for her to hear in the other room.

"Nothing, I just... I'm so sorry. I didn't have any clothes and... I'm sorry," she replied back. I heard her shuffling, and the sound of her feet on the floor.

Oh. The hoodie. Like I cared. If I hadn't brought it with me at my dorms, it wasn't one of my favourite ones anyway.

"Don't be. I should be the one that's sorry. I actually hadn't been thinking about clothes," I called back.

"I'm gonna change, I'm really sorry," she said, ignoring me, and she had to walk by the kitchen to get back to her room, and I saw a glimpse of her as she walked, and her legs.

She'd only been wearing my hoodie. And an old pair of fuzzy Christmas socks.

I kind of froze in the kitchen. It was a good thing she hadn't stopped in the room.

I was thinking about the fact that I had never seen her legs, and then thinking about the fact that I should not be thinking about having never seen her legs, and what was wrong with me?

But the thought was in my head now, and my face was probably crimson red.

Really, really a good thing she wasn't in the room.

I hid my face in the fridge to cool it down and called back, "You can take all the stuff in my room. Honestly, I have no secrets hidden in my drawers."

"Not even a birth certificate?"

"Not even that."

It was nice, mentioning this guessing my name little game of ours. It made things feel normal between us again.

Not that things weren't normal!

But. Well. Okay, I was feeling a little weird around her. I wasn't judging her or seeing her differently... Well, yeah, I was seeing her differently. I kinda just wanted to hug her now. Like comfort her somehow even if she looked fairly okay today. At least, what I had seen of her so far.

And now legs. I hadn't thought about the fact she had legs before.

Well, of course she had legs, but... AH. This was all too much for me in the morning.

"Honestly! Take all the clothes in my room, I don't care. I'd actually be happy of you did. I kind of feel bad about not thinking about this. And I have plenty more clothes at the dorms, so I don't need anything here," I rambled on.

"Are you sure? If it bothers you, I can really change," she called back again.

It was kind of funny, to sort of shout from one room to another. Esther never raised her voice.

"It's fine, really! I'm pretty sure you can find old jogging pants that might fit you."

I hadn't cleaned my drawers, ever, so I still had stuff from when I was younger and smaller.

She didn't say anything for ten seconds and then asked, "Are you really sure?"

"If you keep asking, I'm gonna come over there and put the clothes on you myself."

"Okay, okay! It's fine," she replied in a rush.

I grinned to myself, and started to put away the dry stuff.

Esther joined me in the kitchen a minute later, wearing pants now, which was definitely a good thing.

She headed for the other side of the island and sat on one of the stools.

I smiled at her, trying to be comforting.

She smiled back. It really lighted up her face with she did. 

I cleared my throat and looked away. "Do you want me to make you breakfast?"

"You don't have to do that. You've already done enough," she said in her small voice, but the way it sounded, I almost closed my eyes to hear better.

She really had a good voice.

"I'm happy to help, honestly. It makes me feel less useless."

"But I feel like I'm taking advantage here."

I shook my head. "You're not. Really. Don't worry."

"Did you eat?" she suddenly asked me.

"No, but I wasn't really hungry this morning." The phone call with my grandfather had kind of shaken me up.

"Can I make breakfast? For you. And me," she added quickly, "I'd feel less like I was taking advantage," she explained, and her cheeks kind of reddening.

It was nice to not be the only one uselessly blushing.

"But then I'd feel like a bad host if I let you make breakfast," I replied, "I just barged in here, unannounced. You definitely don't need to do anything for me," I rambled again.

"Nik, please, can I make you breakfast?" she asked, her tone serious, looking in my eyes.

I'd been wrong, I realized. She didn't have green eyes. She had pers eyes. Not quite green, not quite brown, not quite blue. I hadn't seen properly before.

It was distracting. I kinda wanted to stare longer now, to figure out which color she had the most.

But also. That was rude, right?

I just... I kinda had no idea how to act around her now.

Our relationship had definitely changed.

I knew things I hadn't known before. Things she hadn't actually told me too.

I just had this almost primal urge to squeeze her in my arms. It was taking all of my self control not to do it. She would freak out if I did. I probably needed the hug more than she did, if I was being honest.

It just felt... different now, to look at her, knowing what I knew. I was pretty sure this was the last thing she wanted, for me to see her differently, so I tried to reign it in.

I cleared my throat again. "Okay, you can make me breakfast," I replied softly.

And I was rewarded with a dazzling smile.

It felt like something squeeze in my chest.

Something was definitely wrong with me. 

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Hello hello! <3

I'm gonna be quick, but I just wanted you guys to know, if you didn't already, that I'm gonne be uploading this story weekly now. Every Tuesdays. And I'm gonna start putting chapters in advance for it on my Patreon too (patreon.com/kariannegiard). 

The goal is to finish this story this year! :D

Hope you're as happy as I am to see more of Nik and Esther! See you guys next week!