Chapter 22

I was back in my penthouse, lying down on the couch after having watered all of my plants.

I had neglected them a little in the last couple of weeks, so it had meant more job for me today.

It was fine though. It was good. It had kept my mind occupied so I didn't think about what my apparent best friends had been saying.

Vanessa and Tyler were idiots for thinking that Esther were anything other than friends.

I wasn't sure what it was about Esther that made me want to always spend more time with her.

Maybe it was because she didn't assume things about me.

Esther was my friend. I wasn't some kind of trash guy that couldn't be friends with girls without needing to sleep with them or whatever.

I let out an exasperated breath, covering my eyes with my arm. I was going to get a headache at this rate.

Before I could mull over this nonsense some more though, there was sound coming from my front door, and I just had time to sit up on the couch to see my uncle Trey walk in the room.

He kind of froze on the spot when he saw me. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his hands stretched beside him, his leg sort of halfway up, like he was playing some freeze game.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I should be the one asking you that, Dick. You do remember this is my place, right?"

Trey looked around him, like he could find the answer there. "But, you should be at your dorm right now."

I tilted my head a bit, still glaring. "So you decided to what? Break and enter?"

"Breaking and entering implies I don't have the key to come here," my uncle whined.

"And why exactly do you have the key?"

"I may, or may not have made of copy of yours. Maybe not. Jury's still out."

"What are you even doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be at your dorms?"

"Tyler and Vanessa are being idiots. They kept implying..." Implying what exactly? I wasn't totally sure to be honest. They hadn't outright told me what they thought Esther meant to me. They'd just given me weird looks and implied stuff. I had assumed though. I could assume. "Implying that I wanted to sleep with my friend Esther."

"And they're absolutely wrong."

"Absolutely."

"Because you don't want to bone girls since you're gay."

I let out an exasperated whine, letting myself fall back on the couch. "Ohmygod, I'm not gay."

Trey came in the room, setting his bag on the ground, and sat on the sturdy coffee table in front of the couch. "Are you suuuure? I really think you should give it a go. Let's go to a gay bar. Let yourself be wooed. Kiss a guy or twelve. See how that feels. Bet it's gonna feel riiiiiight."

"Jesus Christ, you're an idiot."

"You're not saying you won't do it though," Trey continued, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

I let out an exasperated sigh this time, and didn't say anything else. There was no point. Everyone around me was an idiot.

Clearly the reason why I enjoyed spending time with Esther was because she wasn't an idiot. Not, whatever else Tyler and Vanessa had been saying.

And even if I did... I don't know, like Esther that way, there was no way in hell she would ever be interested in me. She had no interest in me aside from being my project partner, and maybe study buddy. That was all.

Our relationship was strictly academical. And maybe a little but friendly too. But nothing else. Nothing carnal.

There was no point in entertaining this ludicrous idea any longer, so I changed the subject. "How long are you planning on staying here?"

My uncle sighed, stretching his arms over his head. "No specific plans."

I sat up again, frowning while looking at him. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"I took time off," he said with a shrug that was lil bit too nonchalent for my liking.

Thsi family only needed one bum that had partly dropped out. Not two. And that was my role. "Are you dropping out of college?" I asked, a little bit worried now.

"Nooooooo."

Yeah, that didn't sound convincing, at all. "Dick."

"Maaaaaybe."

I let out yet another exasperated breath. "Why?"

And Trey shrugged again. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I should become a laywer."

I scoffed. "If you want that inheritance monaaaay, don't. Grandpa hates lawyers."

My uncle looks appalled. I can't believe I'm the only one the old shark said that too. I can't be. "But... that's the whole family schnit!" Trey whined.

"That's exactly what I told him," I nodded, glad to know we were of same mind. "Still hates them."

"It would be nice sometimes, to have a normal father," Trey said, rolling his eyes. 

"Sure, but hey, it's goddamn entertaining," I said with a chuckle.

"I used to say he was my grandfather to other people at school when I was younger," Trey replied.

That was understandable. It was probably weird to be in kindergarden with a dad in his sixties. Trey only ever knew his father with grey hair. "I get it. He's definitely not the most normal dad candidate."

"Sometimes it feels like he's been pretty selfish to have had me when he was so old. Sure, he's still in fairly good shape, but he's eighty-two. Realistically, he doesn't have that many years left," Trey suddenly admitted, like it was something he needed to get off his chest for a while. I could see it in his face, he felt relieved somehow, to have admitted this outloud. 

The thing was, I wasn't really sure what to reply to that. What was I supposed to say to comfort him? So, I deflected with humor instead, because I wasn't mature enough to answer seriously. "I don't know, if he keeps on sucking the blood of virgins, he might have a thousand more years in him."

"You know what I mean."

I sighed, smiling kindly at him. "Yeah, I do. But hey, look at it this way, it doesn't matter the age your father is, you should always be prepare for him to die."

Trey's eyes widened. Suddenly he realized what he'd been saying and to he'd been saying it. It was fine, really. It wasn't like I would crumple any time someone mentioned dead fathers. "Oh, sorry, I wasn't thinking..." he replied automatically. 

"It's fine," I assured him, still giving him a little smile.

"It's really not." We both stayed silent for a few seconds. Trey was giving me weird looks. "It's in two weeks right?"

I knew what he was talking about without him having to say anything more. "Yeah."

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"It's been like what? Twelve years now?" I said, like I didn't know how long it had been since my mother had died. "I'm fine."

Not really died though. Killed herself. That part made a world of difference to me.

"I don't think this is the kind of stuff that time can heal," Trey said softly. 

I snorted. "That's a bleak thing to say."

"You know what I mean."

I tilted my head. "Do I?"

"I'm trying to be a supportive uncle here, gimme a break," Trey whined, making me chuckle.

I should be laughing. I shouldn't be crying. I should be strong. 

My mother was dead. She had killed herself. These were the simply facts.

The whole story was worst though. Because she had tried to kill me with her. She had drove her car right off an overpass and into a river. I was sitting in the back. The water got to me later. I had drown, but not fast enough. So, the EMTs that had gotten to us way too fast for my mother's plan had been able to revive me. Not her though.

I woke up and she was dead and my dad was miserable. 

And then we'd been miserable together. Without her. Stuck trying to mend the pieces of us she had broken. 

"Sometimes I think that the fact that I never talk about her makes it worst. Maybe if I talked more about her, it would hurt less every time I think about... well all of it," I admitted.

I never talked about what it did to me, knowing that my mother had killed herself and had wanted me dead with her. Becuase the issue was I would never know her true intentions. Had she brought me along because she loved me so much so she wanted us to go together. Or because she hated me so much she wanted me dead.

That was the kind of shit I had tried to deal with my first psychiatrist. I had long stopped trying to work through that traume though. It was useless. There was no answer for it. And either way, both answers hurt.

"How are the nightmare?" Trey asked.

Ah, yes, the last present my mother gave me. Nightmares to never truly forget what it felt like to drown, trapped in that car.

"Surprisingly, I'm okay. I thought they might get bad again when I stopped drinking, but it's... fine really."

Hopefully saying that wouldn't jinx it. 

Hopefully one day, I'd be able to have an actual conversation about my mother without dodging everything.

But today was not that day.

"Are you hungry? I'm hungry," I asked him.

Trey got up and clapped his hands together. "I'll make us dinner."

I raised an eyebrow at him, doubtful. "You can cook?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "Come on, give me a break, I'm not totally useless."

I shook my head. "You can't cook."

"I can"

"No, I mean, you literally can't," I pressed, laughing. "There's nothing in my fridge aside from a bottle of ketchup."

"That's sad."

I shrugged. "I don't really live here anymore."

Trey looked around himself, like he was apprasing my home. "You should rent the place. Make some money."

I didn't want strangers to live in this space. This was the last place where both of my parents had lived. 

Even if I was barely staying here anymore, I didn't want to lose it.

"I don't need money. You need money."

"I do need money." He grinned at me. I realized why he mentioned he wanted to make dinner.

Broke bitch. I rolled my eyes at him, and shooed him away. "Just order whatever you want. My credit card is in my wallet in the kitchen."

"You're really the best nephew in the world!" he shouted, and headed to the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I said, waving my hand in the air, but then suddenly sat up when I realized something. "HEY! YOU CAN'T STAY HERE! I'm not renting you this place!"

"Best nephew EVER!" Trey just yelled behind him, ignoring me.

I shook my head, and finally got up from my couch, following him into the kitchen. I was hungry after all.

Enough with the sappy stuff. 

I was never going to be fine if I kept wallowing in my own misery. 

I was the only one that could fix me. Whatever that meant.

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Hello hello! :D

Sorry it took so long to upload this chapter. I'm always so busy. But then, every time I get back to writing about Nik, I remember how much I love him and Esther and how much I miss them. So hopefully, and I know I always say this, but yeah, hopefully, I can start uploading this story a bit more regularly. 

Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Gotta ease Nik into his feelings. ;P 

Thanks for sticking around and coming back to this story. I LOVE YOU GUYS!