Hi everyone!

Sorry for the delay this week! Enjoy the new update!

As always, don't forget to vote and comment! I'll have another update very soon!

Love,

Luckycharms! <3

--- 

Aaryan returned to our room very late that evening. By the time he had returned, my maid friends and Lady Suhanya had already set up Aathavan's crib and brought back all of his things too. We had also eaten dinner, taken a bath and after putting Aathavan to sleep, I was ready to go to sleep myself.

I couldn't explain the joy I felt to have my son back. I felt whole again,

My only regret was that Aayu had taken the fall for my sake.

When Aaryan finally did walk in, I was sitting next to Aathavan's crib, rocking it slowly.

I looked over at him with a little bit of caution and watched as he tossed his shawl aside. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it all back and tying whatever he could keep together into a short, stubby ponytail at the back of his head, hair from the front slipping away instantly because it was too short.

He looked exhausted.

I could only imagine how much work it would have taken to clear up the throne room of all those people without causing some chaos. I could also only imagine how draining it would be to have to deal with your father punishing your brother for doing something to help your wife.

I frowned at the thought.

When he looked over at me, I surprised myself by looking away quickly, a nervousness rushing through me.

I was instantly embarrassed, feeling like a child who had knowingly done something wrong.

Though I did not do anything wrong.

Why did I feel so guilty?

I heard Aaryan sigh before walking over to the balcony and vanishing behind the curtains.

My brows rose as I looked in that direction, and then I frowned.

I looked back at Aathavan, thinking back to everything that happened in the throne room. I wondered if there was anything that I needed to apologize for. Did I really cross any lines?

Maybe he had hoped that I would not oppose his father's wishes. But if that were the case, that would mean that he had hoped I would not have taken Aathavan back. Would he have really wanted that?

How could he have wanted that?

I laid down on the bed, still rocking Aathavan. I thought of sleeping, feeling too strange to talk to him now.

Of course Aaryan and I had fought before in the past, but I had never felt this way afterwards. I had never felt so guilty. I did not like feeling like he was disappointed in me for doing something that I thought was right.

Usually we always agreed in the end... we just went about doing things in different ways.

I stayed like that for quite some time, wondering what to do... and maybe also hoping that Aaryan would get over what he was upset about and come join me in bed... but what felt like hours passed, and he stayed confined to that space on the balcony.

Finally, I sat up, frowning.

I wasn't going to figure out what he wanted by just sitting here thinking about it. I would have to go talk to him.

I got up, looking down at Aathavan, who was fast asleep. Then, I took a deep breath and made my way to the balcony.

I didn't walk right to him. Instead, I pushed the curtain aside and peeked over in his direction, to where he usually sat on that cushioned bench. Of course, he was there.

He was looking off into the town in the distance, looking a little absent minded... or maybe deep in thought. In fact, it seemed like he didn't even notice my presence, which was odd. Aaryan always seemed to be aware of my presence.

"Why aren't you coming to bed?" I simply asked, trying to pretend nothing was wrong.

My voice seemed to surprise him, causing him to blink out of his thoughts and turn to look at me. "What?"

"Why are you sitting here instead of sleeping?" I tried again. "I know you have to wake up early."

My husband let out a breath. "What difference does it make? I'll be lying awake in bed as well anyways, so might as well enjoy the good weather."

The weather was nice today... but I could hear the hint of sarcasm in his voice, which upset me a little. "Why can't you sleep?"

He looked at me rather incredulously. "Why can't I sleep?" He repeated. "Do you want me to make a list of today's events-"

"We got our son back," I snapped.

"He was never gone Seetha-"

"But now he is where he belongs!" I felt a lump form up in my throat. So he was upset. He was upset with my decision to take Aathavan back. I hated the way that made me feel. I felt... betrayed. Worse... I felt alone.

Aaryan seemed to notice the look on his face, seeing as he hesitated, but that did not stop him from continuing. "And for what cost, Seetha?" He asked. "For our happiness, the only brother of mine who had the capacity within him to be a good and loved leader has been granted the punishment of exile."

My brows rose. "What?" It came out as a whisper.

Aaryan's face softened. "Did you think my father would go easy on him? Because he is his son?"

"Exile?" My throat went dry.

"They're sending him far North to an estate that belongs to my mother's family. It is isolated, cold, and he goes there with nothing to his name now except two titles. The first being the son of the King, and the second being a harborer of treason. There, he has been ordered to marry some lowly noble girl whose family is so greedy for power that they would be happy to let their daughter marry him, even if he comes with some newly formed baggage. And he is not allowed to set foot in the capital until the King decides he has served out his punishment, and usually that means never."

I shook my head.

"You're surprised?" He asks. "Consider this a blessing. If Aayu let General Sivakasi take the blame, the man would have been executed, along with anyone else who chose to stay in that throneroom any longer."

I bit the inside of my cheek, my eyes watering.

Aaryan looked away. "He has thoroughly lost everything. His family, his friends, his riches and his freedom. And for what?"

For the lives of all those people in the throne room. I thought. And for me to be able to mother my child.

"Even if I am to do what I am meant to do and forget that he is my brother, I still needed him," he continued. "He is a superior advisor, an excellent mind and has the ability to think of hundreds of outcomes to a problem before picking the best solution. There would have been nobody better to sit in my court then-"

"Can't you... bring him back... when you are King?"

He let out a short laugh which had no humor in it. "That is not how it works, Seetha," he said. "No noble... no court member would want to see a man charged with rallying up a protest working with them. Especially not one who was able to gather the support of all the warriors and all the servants-"

"But he didn't!"

"And only you and I know that," Aaryan said.

"We can tell your father the truth-"

"And have all those people punished-"

"But your father-"

"Is a king before he is a father!" He said, sounding frustrated. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

I was holding both my breath and my tears.

For the first time since I got here, all I could think of was how much I hated this. I hated all of this. I hated everything about this whole world that I found myself mixed up in.

And I wondered, for the first time since I had fallen in love with Aaryan, how simpler everything could have been if I had just married a normal man. The pain of hunger, or labour, or injury or any of that was nothing compared to the pain that I was feeling in my heart.

I would trade all the luxuries and silks and titles and servants and everything just to live in a tiny little home in the middle of a village with my husband and our child.

I wanted none of it. I wanted none of this nonsense. I asked for none of it.

All I wanted was Aaryan.

If he would one day come to me after losing all of what made him a Prince... everything... even if he came to me naked, with even the clothes stripped off of his back, I would love him more.

I wanted none of this.

Aaryan watched my face, and after a moment a flash of realization seemed to pass across his. I watched as he leaned forward, putting his face in his hands, his elbows on his legs.

I watched him, trying to come up with words to say.

Finally, I heard him let out a breath. He turned his head and looked at me with a sad smile. "I can't keep you happy... can I?"

I blinked. The question surprised me, and all I wanted to do was tell him that he was not the problem, but I was afraid to speak... afraid that if I said anything, I would burst into tears.

So instead, I watched him carefully as he leaned back and a look of defeat washed up on his face.

I wondered if Aaryaraavanan of the Rudrarajah clan had ever worn a look of defeat. Had he ever been defeated? Never... if what they say is true.

Not until now.

"Before we got married," he continued. "A priest told me that I would not be able to keep you happy."

My eyes widened.

"I never imagined he would be right."

"No," I choked on the word, and as expected I started to cry. "That's not true."

He didn't look at me. "Do you remember what General Sivakasi said... about names?"

Of course I remembered it, so I nodded, wiping away my tears, knowing they were useless.

"It seems I have been aptly named. Raavanan," he turned and looked at me, "the demon who snatched Seetha from the ones who could keep her happy, and then proceeded to ruin her life-"

I slapped him.

I cut him off by slapping him.

I didn't know what happened.

I didn't know what came through me.

One second I was crying, and the next, I was enraged.

Is this what Aaryan felt when he was angry? Was this what he meant when he said he had no control? Because that was how I felt at that moment.

He looked at me, shocked, and I looked back at him, enraged. "Don't you ever speak like that," I hissed at him. "Don't you ever!"

Aaryan seemed to not know how to feel. He seemed to be shocked and angry and sad all at the same time. I could not exactly blame him for that though. I couldn't blame him because he probably never, in his life, imagined being slapped by a woman... let alone me.

"You have not ruined my life," I continued. I said it firmly, maybe as an attempt to convince myself of the same thing. "I don't stay with you because I need to or I must, I stay because I love you and I want you. To suggest that you have snatched me and ruined my life would be to suggest that I am weak. That I am letting you continue to do so and I am sitting here taking it. I am not. I was not raised to let a man hurt me. If you did, then I would not be here right now."

He didn't say anything.

And I noticed, at that moment, that I had the answers to my own questions.

"It is not your job to keep me happy," I said. "Just be here. Just trust me. Just love me. Just love me and our children. I can work out the rest."

He seemed unconvinced.

"Do you not believe that I can keep myself happy?" I asked. "Do you think that I need a man to keep me happy."

"This is not your village-"

"I'll figure it out!" I said. "I've been trying to figure it out! I've stumbled... a lot... but I'll figure it out."

He shook his head, in disbelief.

"Fine, do you want me to be honest?" I asked him.

"I always want you to be honest-"

"I hate it here."

He looked at me, eyes widening.

"I hate it here. I hate the rules, I hate the traditions, I hate all the people who I shouldn't hate if I want things to be easy. I hate it all," I said, firmly. "But I love you. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

"I'm still here because I love you. If I didn't, I would have left a long time ago," I said. "And so long as you love me then that is enough to keep me here... and happy. If there is anything that you need to do to help me stay happy is to love me. Your love is what keeps me happy. Nothing else. I care for nothing else and want nothing else here in this palace."

I realized why I felt so nervous around him since the turmoil in the throne room. I realized why he acted the same way too.

We were both worried that we had disappointed the other... that we had failed the other. Me by not doing what was expected of me, and him by not doing what would keep me happy.

That we had done something the other would not like.

And we both thought we were doing the right thing.

We were both fools.

And I was realizing that maybe he didn't belong here just as much as I did.

I remembered what Saumiya had said to me when I first met her... how she, Aaryan and Lakshmanan got along well because they were all different.

How Aaryan was a free thinker of sorts.

A man who did whatever he wanted.

It seemed Aaryan had gotten used to doing whatever he wanted... and maybe he couldn't handle this new found pressure of doing what he's supposed to do, just as I couldn't handle the new found pressure of living in this world of his.

Maybe this was as new for him as it was for me.

I reached out and hugged him tightly.

He hugged me back, silently at first, but then he spoke up. "I don't know how many more times I can be forced to make a decision between you and my throne without losing my sanity-"

"Then don't," I said, still hugging him. "You won't need to. Not anymore." I remembered what I said to him before we left my village... how I said that I wouldn't make him have to make such tough choices.

I hadn't lived by that.

Mostly because I did not know what that even really meant at the time.

I knew it now.

I saw it with my own eyes.

I saw him hesitate as he questioned whether to punish the general that was defending me, or oppose the king who ruled over us all.

Aaryan always wanted to do what was right, and it seemed like 'what is right' had become so much more complicated now that we had a family... now that we were together.

But it wouldn't happen again.

I had my son back, I wanted nothing more than that, so I would never make him feel the need to make any more complicated decisions. I would handle my problems myself. I would deal with them myself, I was entirely capable of doing so... and it seemed like all the warriors and servants believed in that fact as well.

"Just let me handle myself. Just love me and be here."

"Loving you means worrying about you-"

"No, it means trusting me," I said, pulling away and looking at him. "Don't you trust me?"

He watched me carefully.

The hesitation was a little longer than I would have liked.

Finally, he spoke again. "Did you have anything to do with it?"

"What?"

"With the men and women who rallied against the throne... did you have anything to do with the planning of it?"

We stared at each other, and I could tell that his question did not come from the fact that he thought I did it. He looked serious, nervous ever, as if he needed me to answer him, to say it outloud. I think... maybe he just wanted to hear me say it myself. "No," I said. "I had no idea."

He let out a breath, looking away for a moment.

"Did you think I did?"

"No," he said."I just... needed to be sure. My father is ordering an investigation... I wanted to be sure that you would not get caught up in that."

I frowned at him. "You still didn't answer me," I said. "Do you trust me?"

He looked at me again. "Of course I trust you. If I did not trust you then I would not have made you the future Queen of Chandraba."

"Then trust me to handle my own issues, and stop working so hard to try and keep me happy."

He sighed, as if that seemed like an onerous task... like minding his own business was such a hard thing for him to do.

I touched the cheek that I had hit and suddenly, his serious expression was replaced with one that was amused. "You hit me," he said, a small smile on his face.

"If you say such stupid things again then I will do worst next time."

He leaned forward and kissed my lips, and I kissed him back, my hands on his face. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against mine and after a moment of keeping his eyes closed, he spoke up again. "We can leave... not far.... But we can leave the palace."

My heart skipped a beat. "What?"

"A short horse ride away from here, I'm having an estate built," he said. "Lakshmanan suggested it some time ago, and I decided to go through with it. It won't be much different from here, but it'll make things easier." He opened his eyes and smiled at me. "You could make me tea in the morning, for starters."

I looked at him with shock. "We... can do that?"

"There's no law against it."

"People won't get mad?"

"They will," he said. "But they're already mad, so why does it matter?"

I was lost for words.

"It won't be complete for another few months," he said. "I wasn't going to tell you because from now and then anything can happen... but I suppose, if you want to be making your own decisions, then you should know."

I smiled widely. I guess this was a good start.

---

Aaryan and I did not sleep that night. We spent most of it talking about what was going to happen to Aayu. What did it really mean? Why was the king being so harsh?

The King had chosen to send Aayu away as soon as the sun began to rise the next morning, as an attempt to not call too much attention to it. Of course, that was useless.

As Aaryan always said, rumours passed around the palace like wildfire, and when Aaryan and I arrived with Aathavan to the main courtyard where the carriage was ready and waiting for Aayu, the premises were already crowded with a mass of servants and warriors, here to see him off.

I knew that they all knew that he had taken the fall for them.

And if I knew anything about most of these men and women... it did not sit well with them.

When I saw Aayu, I rushed over to him as fast as I could, knowing full well that I would not have much time with him. He greeted me with a warm hug, trying hard not to squish Little Aathavan between us.

"Aayu-"

"Don't worry about me," he smiled.

I frowned at him. "How am I not supposed to-"

"Because you have more important things to worry about now," he said. "I already told you... I care not for riches and titles and this life. I never did. I grew up among the lower classed... that's why I get along with them so well. This exile isn't a punishment. It's more of a... nuisance. So don't worry."

I kept frowning.

Aayu was good at making things seem like they meant nothing. Like when he helped me become friends with my maids, or when he helped me master that traditional dance, or when he wiped my menstrual blood off the floor for me. He made everything seem like it was not a big deal.

That's why I liked him so much. He always made me feel better.

Aayu put a hand under my chin and lifted it so I would look at him. "Important things," he repeated, gesturing at my son.

I smiled, but frowned again. "You were my best friend here."

"I don't see why that needs to change, Seetha?"

"But... how? How do I keep in contact?"

"Write to me as often as you'd like."

I hesitated, looking over at Aaryan. Aaryan had mentioned that his father was not going to allow him to be in communication with anyone but he and Aaryan while he was gone.

"I'm sure my big brother wouldn't mind signing off on your notes to me," Aayu smiled. "He knows that I'm not at risk of making any more treasonous plans."

Aaryan nodded slowly, closing his eyes as he did it, making it seem like that would not at all be an issue.

"See?" Aayu said. "Write to me. Share your stories with me... I'll be bored up there... and cold."

I chuckled sadly.

"Though... might I ask... that you do one more thing for me?"

"Anything!" I said, quickly. After all he had done for me... I would do anything for him.

"I just want you to keep something in mind," he said. He looked at his brother, and then back at me. "I want you to keep in mind that though, technically, you can only really be queen when my brother becomes King..." he used his thumb to gesture at all the people who were standing around watching. "These folk have already decided that you are their queen."

I hesitated.

"They have chosen you, and all I ask is that you do not let them down," he said. "There is no one in this world who is more deserving of being a queen than a good mother, because what is a queen other than a mother to her people? And you have shown these people that you are just that. They want you. They have accepted you."

My eyes widened, but my heart skipped a beat.

"I asked you yesterday what kind of queen you wanted to be, and you chose to be the one who changes our world. So do that. In Chandraba, our kingdoms power and might are determined by their Maharajah... however our kingdoms success and prosperity is determined by our Maharani. Our warrior kings can win all the land and conquer as many nations as they want, but without the love of the people, it can come crumbling down as fast as the people realize how much power they really have. Why do you think we execute anyone who opposes the throne?"

"To keep the people thinking that they have no control," I said. I realized that yesterday.

"Yes," Aayu said, still smiling. "You need to make our kingdom prosper... not because that is your job, but because the people deserve just that."

I nodded, a little hesitantly.

"And know, Seetha," he continued, seeing my worry, probably, "that the air of our nation changed the moment you stepped into the palace. Your sheer presence has brought our people happiness. The number of warriors joining our force jumped multiple fold and productivity increased dramatically. Do you know that?"

I blinked, shaking my head slowly.

"Do you know why?"

I felt my eyes water.

Yes.

I could figure it out.

And though it seems like he knew that I knew, he continued. "Because the people love you. They don't know you but they loved you from the moment you arrived. Why? Because you are more like them than any other decision maker in this palace. You are the most like them... in fact, you are one of them. You know them. You see them. And you can be the one who makes the decisions that help save them."

I didn't know how he was doing this, but I felt incredibly motivated.

He was making me feel so... powerful.

Like I could change the world.

Like I had to change the world.

"Will you do that? WIll you be the Maharani who changes everything?"

I didn't hesitate now. I nodded. "I will."

Aayu smiled widely. He put a hand behind my head and pulled it forward, kissing my forehead. "Well then, sister-in-law, don't forget that I am always on your side. Any advice you need, reach out to me... I will always be willing to help you."

"Thank you, Aayu."

And that was it.

I watched with Aaryan and the rest of the palace folk as Aayu's carriage ride of to face the punishment that he did not deserve, for a foolish crime which he had not committed.

My best friend in the palace.

My greatest ally here.

He was gone.

And strangely... though I thought I would feel alone... I didn't.

I didn't feel alone.

Instead, I felt all fired up.

I knew what I was going to do... and I was excited.