The brisk night air chilled Nico's damp cheeks and his fingers, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He found himself pacing the empty lot behind the men's dormitory building, hidden by the darkness. From there, he eyed his window, but he knew he would not be able to face Leo after what he did. It would only increase his suspicion of him being different.

His throat felt dry as he slumped against the building, which was composed of old, mossy bricks. They felt coarse and cold against his body as he sat, considering hitting his head back onto the wall.

He definitely would know, Nico thought. He would know, and he would look at him with disgust every time he saw him. The rumors would spread, and he would be forced to move in with his sister, who lived across the country in Cambridge, Massachusetts. He would have to go somewhere where no one knew who he was, and no one cared, either.

The tears that left his eyes felt warm against his chilled skin. He held his coat closer to his body as he shivered, the dew on the grass cold beneath him and the wind bitter. He gazed up at the stars that speckled the dark sky like freckles on a beautiful girl's face. The moon cast a matriarchal glow upon him, as if it were trying to comfort him.

He sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his coat before reaching for a cigarette and placing it in his mouth. He struck a match and protected the golden flame from the slight breeze that threatened to extinguish its heat with the palm of his hand. He lit the roll of tobacco and, as he shook off the match and discarded it into the field of grass that surrounded him, he took a long drag. He released the thin wisp of smoke, expecting all the sadness to leave the pit of his stomach, but it lingered.

He fought to restrain his tears. Why did he have to be different? Why couldn't he live a normal life, fall in love with Ruth, and bring her home to the folks? Why did he find himself staring at attractive men instead of seeking beautiful women? He had the opportunity in the palm of his hand, but he threw it off to the side as if he had no use for it. Perhaps he should have sought out a doctor to cure him.

Nico shook his head resignedly, removing his glasses and rubbing the frustration from his eyes. He knew better than anyone else that it was not a possibility for him to be saved. He felt he was suspended over a cliff, hanging off a thin rope. His body ached, and his willpower was diminishing after every moment he spent trying to claw his way up. It would be so easy to release the rope and send himself plummeting to his ruin, but he sustained himself, hanging there. He was no longer climbing up or attempting to swing over the ledge. He lost all resolve to stand on solid ground again.

He took another drag of his cigarette like it was his sanctuary from the condemnatory eyes of the world.

The backs of his thighs began to numb, but he made no movements to stand. There was nowhere else he could flee. If he were to return to his room, Leo would find out and disown him. He didn't have any money to hire a cab to take him back to Los Angeles where he could surround himself with the comforting air of home. He remained on the ground, putting out his cigarette in the damp grass and staring off into the distance.

He heard quick footsteps on the pavement, hoping with all his being that they weren't Ruth's. They seemed heavier, more determined than hers, so that concern was quickly dismissed. He remained there for a little longer until he could hardly feel his legs. He stood, prepared to find somewhere he could stay for the night.

As he turned the corner, his chilled hands shoved in his pockets in an attempt to warm them, he nearly ran into someone, sending all the air out of his lungs. Startled, he looked up at the tall figure that stood before him. In the pale moonlight, he could see familiar features. The warm green eyes he became acquainted with over the past week appeared troubled and curious.

"Nico?" the man asked. "What are you doing out here?"

He shrugged despondently, avoiding Percy's concerned eyes.

"Nothing. I just needed some fresh air," he lied.

By the look on his newfound friend's face, he knew he could see right through him.

"I saw you in the girl's dormitory," he confessed. "I suppose the date with Ruth didn't go well?"

He shook his head. "No, I... I messed that up."

"What happened?" he queried.

"I don't even know, myself. One moment, we were talking about professions and studying and childhood, the next she had me on her bed, trying to undress me. It happened so fast..." he trailed off.

Percy raised his eyebrows in a mixture of surprise and anticipation.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this," he confessed. "I don't know you, you don't know me."

"We're friends, Nico," Percy said, a welcoming smile blessing his features. "You can tell me."

"I can't, Percy."

"Why not?"

"Then you would think I'm... I like you, Percy. You're pleasant to talk to, and I'm glad to have you as a friend. I just can't tell you."

"So I would think you're weird?" Percy asked, a curious eyebrow raised. "Is that what you're worried about?"

Nico shook his head. "No, that's... I don't want you to look at me as if I were horrible."

"You're not horrible," Percy told him. "Why would I think that? When I look at you, I see a person trying to make his way through life, trying to finish school, find a decent job, and live life normally."

Nico scoffed. "I'm anything but normal."

"So are you worried I will think you're a freak, or are you scared because you think you're a freak?"

"I... I don't know!" he exclaimed. "I don't know, Percy."

"What do you think is wrong with you, then?"

"It's none of your concern."

He looked at him skeptically. "It became my concern when you came barreling down the hallway, looking like you were about to cry when you pushed past me. I'm your friend, and I came with all the requirements. I'm just looking for an honest answer."

"Why do you need one?"

"Why do I need one," he repeated under his breath annoyedly. "Because I want to listen to you. Yell at me, punch me in the arm, get angry. I think it will make you feel better if you tell someone what's wrong with you. I'm not trying to pressure you, but I think it will really help."

Nico sighed resignedly as his gaze shifted to the ground. He couldn't look Percy in the eye. He was too sincere, too sweet. But he didn't want anyone to know, even if this man was claiming to be his friend. Even if he was showing his unadulterated benevolence by trying to help.

"Just tell me," he said, obdurately. "I promise I won't tell anyone else. I'm a trustworthy person. You can rely on me."

Nico thought of a way to escape this situation, but he couldn't think of anything. Leo finally met his match in terms of stubbornness, he thought. Was he majoring in psychology? He sighed once again, finally looking Percy in his eyes.

Percy looked down at him patiently, waiting for his response. He knew he could trust him. After all, he was his voluntary responsibility when he passed out on him mere days ago.

"Was it really that recent?" Nico thought. "It seems like weeks ago."

He shook his head as a dismissal to his transient stupor before the words spilled out of his lips against his own volition. It seemed his mouth had a mind of its own.

"I'm a homosexual."

Nico clasped his hands over his mouth like a child that spoke a dirty word. Immediately, he repented that he told him, someone who he hardly knew, and so casually that it sounded normal. He flinched, prepared for an onslaught of disgust and abhorrence from the lips that cast him friendly smiles occasionally. He braced for impact of any kind, may it be words or physical harm, but nothing came. He figured he must have been so utterly shocked he could not find the words to respond.

When he finally mustered the temerity to look at him, he beheld his nonchalant countenance, as if he told him nothing at all. Perhaps he didn't hear.

"I'm glad you decided to tell me."

Perhaps he did.

"You're expecting me to tell you that you're a monster," Percy grinned amusedly. "Well, I'm not. I knew."

His face must've looked all sorts of confused, discernible by the laugh that came from the older man's lips.

"I could see it on your face," he explained. "You're reserved; you built a fence of solitude around yourself so no one would abhor you. I understand that this is a cruel, judgmental world that will pounce on any aspect that is different, so your actions are justified, but, honestly, I think there are worse things one could be worried about, like being drafted in the war or failing a class."

Nico was dumbfounded. Despite his extensive vocabulary, he could not find the words that could express the jumbled feelings inside his stomach. Was there sorrow, or shame, or longing? Or was there relief and satisfaction?

"There are worse things that you can worry about rather than what others think of you, Nico."

"You're not... upset?" he finally spoke.

Percy shook his head. "No. I think you just need to confide in yourself and stop attacking yourself so much. You can confide in me, too. I'm not a stranger anymore. In fact, I know something about you hardly anyone else knows."

"That I'm..." he trailed off, as if the mere thought of the word upset him.

"That you're an amazing, interesting person," Percy corrected. "That you're incredible, and no one can tell me otherwise. I know the real you, and I wouldn't trade it for all the sodas and fries that you can buy me."

A humorous smile came onto Nico's lips before he could remind himself he wasn't supposed to. Percy cast him a reassuring smile.

"There," he said, pleased with himself. "I made you smile. It wasn't too hard, was it?"

He sounded like a dental hygienist after he finished inspecting his teeth, Nico thought.

"I guess not," he replied tensely, anchoring his chilled hands in his pockets.

Percy smiled like he usually did. It was a playful, genuine smile that made his eyes sparkle in a way that put the stars to shame. The silvery moonlight caught the tenderness that dwelled in his eyes as he looked down at him like he knew him for years. Decades. Strangely, Nico was almost captivated by it. Perhaps it was that he knew that smile was reserved solely for him.

Nico's insides swelled as he shivered; he could not distinguish it from the cold or from passion. His mind was racing with a million thoughts, but the only thought that would linger in his mind was that he wanted to be held in Percy's arms as he looked down at him with those gentle eyes. He felt drawn to him, as if a magnetic field was pulling him towards him.

Maybe it's fate, said Percy's voice, but he did not move his lips to speak. He didn't believe in fate—he was a rational man, and he was not about to—but he could deny it no longer.

His heart pounded a mile a minute as he shifted his gaze away from the man that stood before him, ashamed of the ignominious, temerarious fantasies that appeared in his mind without his consent.

"Oh, come on," Percy laughed, taking him by surprise. "Don't chicken out now. You looked at me like that, so why don't you finish it?"

The flame in his cheeks reignited. Perhaps it was just the cold, he justified, before shaking his head. He told himself he would no longer deny his feelings.

"You started it," he shot back flippantly.

Percy shook his head with a grin as he stepped closer to him. "I did, didn't I?"

He froze where he stood when he could feel Percy's warm breath against his chilled skin. The taller male's eyes held somewhat of a playful look as he reached to caress his cheek with a cold thumb. He realized Percy hadn't much of a coat either, so he must have been freezing, too.

Heat permeated his gut as Percy's eyes asked him for permission. He unconsciously nodded, captivated by his warmth. He hardly expected it when he felt the warm, soft pressure on his lips.

It felt different than when Ruth kissed him; it was softer, more careful and considerate. A strong feeling swelled in his stomach, but it was not repulsion or discomfort. It felt different, more innate, but, most of all, it felt natural. The thousands of feelings that he had locked away deep within his gut finally escaped from their imprisonment and consumed him.

He buried his fingers in Percy's dark hair as he responded more passionately to the kiss. He felt the corners of Percy's lips lift slightly in response, but he chose to ignore it and, instead, focused on the feelings that burned white-hot in the pit of his stomach and the organic adrenaline that coursed through his veins that, for once, was not fueled by alcohol, caffeine, or lack of sleep.

His back was gently pressed against the coarse bricks of the dormitory building as the kiss grew deeper. He didn't mind that his glasses were stuck in a strange position from their kiss. He merely dwelled in the warmth and the feelings coursing freely through him. It felt he had no control over his body, and he liked it. He was ignorant to the cold, the heat emitted from their bodies and ragged breaths distracting him from the trivialities of his surroundings. His arms draped around Percy's neck as the older man applied more enthusiasm into their kiss.

Nico leaned into the hand placed onto his cheek, providing a tender warmth to both his face and insides. He did not want to separate, even to breathe. It burned inside of him, and it felt he just appeased an unconscious desire he had for years that was clawing at his insides like a feral wolf craving meat. He was going mad, he knew.

They drew away from each other, all but gasping for air. Nico felt an admiring thumb trace his jawline as he opened his eyes, greeted by the pleasant sight of Percy looking at him with an expression he labeled as his amused grin, but it held a sort of softness.

"I take it you don't want to go back to your room," he said with a knowing smile.

"Honestly, that's the last place I want to go," Nico replied, flustered, with an edge of breathiness to his tone.

Percy huffed a laugh. "Then why not come to my place?"

Nico did not have to think twice.

* * * * * *

Percy's apartment looked slightly neater than before, when it felt like someone was pounding a mallet on his skull. It was cozy, but cluttered, with modest furniture and papers and textbooks left perfunctorily on nearly every surface. Nico didn't mind the mess; they were out of college and on summer break, but it still could be difficult to find time to clean properly. Of course, he didn't take the time to mind it. He didn't possess the mental capacity to mind it, not with Percy's lips pressed against his and his hands buried in his hair.

He was pressed back against the wall as Percy took his time. The kiss was thoughtful and slow as if they had all the time in the world to spare. Nico indulged in the taste of Percy's lips as he felt his fingers card through his hair. The warmth in his stomach expanded as he cupped Percy's cheeks in his hands, lost in the trance of his tenderness.

They parted gently, a smile on Percy's lips and a blush on Nico's cheeks.

"Thank you," murmured Nico.

"For what?" Percy grinned. "Kissing you?"

Nico scoffed. "No. For letting me stay here. It's becoming a habit."

"Except this time, you're not dead drunk," Percy joked, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Nico shook his head with a slight smile. "That was the first time in months I got drunk, so I don't believe I deserve your scrutiny."

"You deserve my scrutiny, you threw up on my shoes. They were expensive, you know."

He rolled his eyes. "Well, sorry for ruining your precious shoes."

Percy grinned humorously. "I suppose I can forgive you, but you have to do something for me, first."

"And what is that? I believe I already repaid you."

"I want to hold you all night and wake up with you beside me," he said softly.

Nico tried not to blush, but his blood flow betrayed him. "I-I-I don't know you very well. What are we?"

"Whatever you want us to be," he answered. "And that's the fun part. You get to know me."

Nico felt warmth surge into his cheeks, and he wished he could chase it away by the way Percy was looking at him. He stood on his tiptoes to reignite the spark that Percy had lit earlier that night. Percy took the bait and dwelled in the warmth of the kiss, holding Nico tighter as it deepened. Of course, Percy had not intended anything to escalate so rapidly, but it was difficult to restrain himself, especially since the beautiful boy in front of him was so eager.

"Percy," he breathed against his lips, and Percy smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Were you serious about wanting to hold me all night?"

"Did you want me to be?"

"Yes."

"Then yes."

Nico gave him a plethora of kisses on his lips, and he tried to keep up, fighting the smile that was threatening to come onto his lips. Percy laughed slightly, pushing up the frames of Nico's fallen glasses. The look in his eyes was nearly unforgettable with the amount of gentleness and depth lying in the dark pools. All his life, he thought of brown eyes as ordinary, plain. Having experienced Nico's brown eyes, he reconsidered. They were irresistible, he thought, as he placed another kiss on Nico's soft, pale lips.

It was crazy, how one could go their whole lives thinking a certain way, but in one single moment, with a single action, a single person could change one's perspective on the world. That was what Nico di Angelo thought. But how could one's way of looking at the world remain the same? That would be a bleary life, disregarding the experiences. One could spend their entire childhood despising pickles, revolted entirely by the way they taste, the way the smell lingers and permeates the entire room once one opens a jar. They could retch and flare their nostrils in disgust of the fermented cucumbers; however, when their youth is a mere memory, they could, on a whim, try a pickle, and learn that they love them.

Nico found this true. He usually did not care for the type of person that was overbearing and trivial, but, now, he learned that they could be the easiest types of people to get involved with. He loved to spend time with this man, who he met on a whim at a party neither of them wanted to attend. Perhaps they had more in common than he previously anticipated.

Well, since when had the incipience of true love ever been anticipated? Not in any of the books he read throughout the years, nor the songs he indulged in lazy afternoon after lazy afternoon. Percy was his first real kiss, and a feeling deep in his bones told him he'd be his last.