However we couldn't wriggle out of detention and in the afternoon we were helping Professor Sprout in slinging the Whomping Willow. It was quite furious after the crash and after a whole two hours of labour we managed to somehow complete the detention but were covered with bruises as an aftermath. 

Professor Sprout told us to go to the Hospital Wing before attending the detention with Self obsessed Lockhart. Some way to start the first day at a magical school, huh? 

Anyhow the matron, Madam Pomfrey, was a stout but kindly woman with a really nice smile. She cured our cuts and bruises and made us drink a frothy liquid after which the bruises went off completely. "Now don't end up in detentions often, dear," she advised us before letting us go. 

Now we'll have to face Lockhart. Ah yes I forgot to mention it before, while we were coming from the dungeons, Lockhart had cornered us and gave us a detention for writing absolutely horrible things about him and wasting 10 scrolls of parchment altogether. 

On the other hand, I had told him that if we wrote about his achievements, it would have been a greater loss of parchment and time alike. 

I can't help but notice that I'm setting quite the worst impression on teachers but hey I can't help it if some of them are absolute... Forget it. 

So to be precise, now we had to face Gilderoy Lockhart in this immensely intolerable detention. Quite angry at myself, me and the twins entered Lockhart's office. 

"Ah there you are," he turned to face us with that absolutely disgusting grin on his face, "have been quite naughty, haven't you? Let's face it; your essays were quite hilarious but far from fact so that is why I have called you for a detention." 

The twins rolled their eyes, "we know this, Professor. How about you tell us something we don't know?" 

He flashed that cheeky grin again, "okay then, I'm sure you won't know this. As I'll be teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts for quite a long period of time I expect you all to cooperate and behave..." 

I cut him off, "oh really? I didn't know that you were staying for more than a year, Professor." 

He turned his gaze at me, "and why do you think that, Miss Weasley?" 

George spoke up, "because the post of the Defence teacher is jinxed. No one lasts more than a year." 

Fred backed him up, "didn't you know what happened to Professor Squirrel, oh I mean Professor Quirrell?" 

He shifted uncomfortably, "enough of the chatter, kids. Let's get started with the detention. Since it's your first and hopefully last time in detention with me, I'm letting you off easy. All you have to do is address my fan mail. These days I don't get time to do it myself. And being an internationally renowned celebrity I get millions of letters everyday..." 

He rambled on and on and on and on. Fred handed me a pair of ear muffs used for muffling unpleasant sounds and I gladly put them in. Much better. He showed us the pile of letters on his desk and I internally felt like smacking him in the face. 

Who in their right state of mind would waste their time on writing to such a person? Oh no not a person. Such a spectacularly abnormal creature. We had to take the ear muffs out as he was dictating the addresses amid narrating some of his horribly inaccurate experiences. I had always found flaws in his stories. I don't know why but I always thought that he had forged his name on these tasks instead of doing them himself. 

Because seriously the only thing he could do to the Bandon Banshee (or some such creature) was smile and show off his teeth before lapsing into the realms of death. And I do wish that had happened. We won't be facing him now at this instant then.

***