Chapter Forty-Five (Xed)

It felt as if I had been walking for eternity.

The dogs had both grown weary, so we stopped near a snowy park so that they could rest. I let them loose, watching them chase each other in circles, barking happily and scooping snow up in their mouths. I watched them with an envy that ached to the marrow of my bones.

I needed to find Newell. I could practically feel his pain. It was unbearable.

And even worse was knowing that he was with Hunter. The man wasn't who he said he was and I didn't trust him around Newell. I never have. There was something suspicious about him the moment we met. While I made the assumption he was just a human swimming in the rivers of insanity, there was something more to him. Something that was inhuman, something dangerous.

I tried to go through a list of creatures in my head, but I didn't know many, and the few I came up with didn't match anything that Hunter did. Most creatures had at least one habit or feature that identified themselves as such. Vampires drank blood, werewolves shapeshifted, demons could do anything, dragons had silver eyes, my people couldn't speak on land. So what was Hunter?

Thinking about it frustrated me because my thoughts kept running around in circles, much like the dogs as they chased a squirrel right up a tree. I sighed, getting up and clicking my tongue. It instantly grabbed their attention and they came dashing over through the snow, slipping on the sidewalk as they came up to me and plopped down in front of me. I hooked their leashes up and held out the photograph to the dogs, who sniffed at it and whined.

They circled each other for a bit, as if communicating in a way I couldn't comprehend before the larger one pulled me down the sidewalk. I followed at a quick pace, frowning as we walked all the way through the park and came out near a very nice hotel. It was six stories tall, styled rather anciently with red brick walls and freshly painted white doors and windows. The parking lot was a bit crammed with cars, but most of the people were probably inside now as it was getting later in the day.

And much colder. My breath came out in clouds and even with the coat on, I was getting goosebumps and chills. The dogs whined, walking around me in circles. Even they were beginning to freeze.

I led them across the street to the hotel, approaching the doors. I paused, remembering that Newell said something about hotels not allowing animals, but I couldn't leave them here. It would be cruel, and they were the only ones who'd kept me company all this time. I had grown attached to them, even not knowing their names. I only knew one was female and one was male, both of them wearing blue collars of different shades.

I went around the side of the hotel, pretending I was taking my dogs out for a walk as a man in a suit stood outside, taking out his cell phone. He completely ignored me, much to my relief. I safely made my way to a side exit, frowning down at the lock mechanism on the door.

I did not have time for this.

I reached out, grabbing the handle and tore it off, along with the lock mechanism. I waited for an alarm to go off, but heard nothing. I tossed the handle aside and came in, relieved at the sudden warmth. The dogs whined and nuzzled me, sniffing at the hallway when the male suddenly growled low in his throat. His sister began to growl as well, their tails straight and fur bristling. I frowned, looking down at them, then up at the hallway as a door opened and someone stepped out.

My fury mounted at the sight of Hunter. He was perfectly fine. No blood, no wounds, nothing. He wore a pair of fresh clean black jeans, a matching band t-shirt, his beat up leather jacket, his riding goggles on his head, and his boots thumping as he came out. Worse even was when he stopped, when I expected him to keep walking, but he must have heard the dogs growling at him. He turned and his eyes glinted in the fluorescent lights above, making the dogs squeak and scurry to hide behind me.

He didn't freak out or shout or anything when he saw me. He just shut the door to the room and came down the hallway toward me, completely stoic. I stiffened in preparation for him to attack or something, but he stopped a couple doors down from me, his thumbs hooked into the belt loops over his jeans. We were both silent. The dogs rubbed against the back of my legs with their trembling furry bodies. A slow smirk crept onto Hunter's face.

"Cool. I guess witches aren't so useless after all." He stated. I narrowed my eyes at him and gritted my teeth. I wanted to spit at this pathetic creature, whatever he was. And to think that I had even bothered to help him. It disgusted me. I used the only gesture I knew to be fitting for this situation and gave him my middle finger. Hunter barked a laugh at that.

"You don't need to flip me the bird, beast... I already know what you think about me," He drawled, making me frown, "All these years I've been real careful 'bout not lettin' on to the fact that every time we were together, your mind was filled with hate for me. And I get that. I do. I'm such a pain in the ass. Best part? I don't even need to work at it." I scowled, confused. What was he trying to say?

"That I can read your mind, merde," Hunter deadpanned, making my eyes widen, "Yeah, that's right. Which means thanks for all the insults, Sparky, I appreciate it. Nothing better than hearing your fatass shout in my head about how stupid I am. As if I didn't already know, couillon." I stared at him, completely baffled.

Read my mind? Aside from the obvious, that it was incredibly rude, it was also disconcerting. All this time he'd pretended to be human, when he was really something else. And the fact that he could read my mind? Uncomfortable. And if he could read my mind, he could read Newell's mind.

"That's right," Hunter answered dryly, wrinkling his nose, "And get this. After all the shit that's happened to that capon, the only thing that kept going through his head was your name. Xed this, Xed that. Do you have any idea how many times I've sat there and pretended to be asleep while he was asleep and how many damn wet dreams he had over your slimy ass doing pervy shit to him? Seriously. Even if I was capable of sleep, I wouldn't be able to with all of the noise his soul makes when he sleeps." I curled my lip at him. It pissed me off to no end that he could see inside Newell's head. That wasn't meant for anyone else. It was in his head for a reason, to stay there.

"Oh, please," Hunter snorted, shrugging me off like a mosquito buzzing near his ear, even though I couldn't speak a word out loud, "They all say that, but it's your fault for thinking so carelessly. Some people are so disgusting. Like that Orion guy? For real? All he daydreams about is going home to his sappy ass little salope and just watching movies. No, it gets worse. Peter and Walter? They have done the kinkiest shit. That's the last thing I need to see about my little brother. As if hauling his ass around for several years wasn't bad enough, now he's around me again and I'm forced to listen to his incessant ranting and sex games in his head. Jesus Christ. This is why I get a high off killing people. I'm sick of hearing their voices in my head."

He's insane, I decided simply. He wasn't anything special. He was just insane.

"Then how do you explain the fact that I can read your mind, Nemo, or have humans actually been able to unlock that hidden talent after so many eons?" Hunter mocked. I glared at him.

If you're not human, I asked him mentally, then what are you?

"Oh, no, no," Hunter warned, "I'm not telling you that. You'll run back and tell the calvary and I've finally gotten attached to someone. It's been ages since I've felt this strongly for another creature. You can take your sticky paws and your two mongrels over there somewhere else."

This time, I happily gave him my middle finger again. Hunter glared at me for a moment, then smirked slowly.

"Why are you wasting your time talking to me anyway? I'd think you'd be so desperate to see Newt," He said, making me grit my teeth in irritation, "You missed it, Xed. When you died, he screamed. That stoic little cocky shit who always walked with his head up and a sneer on his face? He screamed and he cried and clung to your rotting corpse. It was even hard for me to rip him off you and take him away." I fumed at that. I took a step toward him, but for some reason, I found it difficult to move now. Like the air around me had turned into a thick putty and was preventing me from going near Hunter, who just watched me calmly now. I glared at him hatefully, clenching my fists. The dogs behind me whined and growled cautiously, circling around behind me as they watched Hunter warily.

"It was actually pretty great," Hunter said, looking positively delighted, and making me sick to my stomach at the thought of Newell grieving so badly, and for me of all people, "He didn't know what to do with all that grief, all that pain, so he had the biggest mental breakdown I've ever seen. He was even worse than Peter when our parents were murdered in coldblood. God, you should have seen him, Xed. He was a total wreck. What I wouldn't give to have back those few minutes of complete and utter anguish... S'too bad he's practically dead now."

A cold chill coursed through me at that. Dead? What did he mean dead? Surely Hunter hadn't killed him before I got here. The thought churned my stomach, even worse when Hunter laughed bitterly before scoffing.

"Oh, please. I didn't need to do anything. That kid is as good as dead now. He hasn't eaten in two days or showered. I'm not even sure if the shit got up to take a leak. He just lays there curled up on the bed. I actually had to force feed him just now." He added, making my stomach drop.

For some reason, I really did not like the idea of Hunter force feeding Newell.

"No, you wouldn't." Hunter answered briefly, then crooked his finger at me. I frowned, hesitant as he began to make his way back to the room he came out of. He stopped halfway there, without a word, but as an indication that I was to follow him. My legs practically moved on their own and brought me forward. The dogs slunk along behind me, ears flattened against their heads, tails sticking straight out in caution. Hunter took out a key card and swiped it before he opened the door and allowed me entrance.

The room stank of smoke, blood, and leather.

But that's not what made my breath catch.

It was the sight of Newell laying on the bed on his side, eyes closed and lips parted to reveal his tiny fangs. He only wore a long sleeved black shirt that was still stained in blood. The thing that made a lump form in my throat was the fact that he wasn't the way he was when I had died. He had become what he was in the past. Not just physically, but mentally. He was broken, shattered, and it seared me with an unbearable agony. It was almost enough to bring me to my knees.

"I drugged him," Hunter said at last, making my eyes flash at him angrily and he held his hands up in surrender, "Don't gimme that look, and you can stop swearing at me, Dori, or did you forget that I can hear that? Anyway, I had to. He wasn't sleeping and he was gonna kill himself if he kept living like this. Granted, because of his species, it'd take a while, but it would be a slow and painful death. I was doing him a favor." I still didn't approve of his methods, but I didn't care for him anymore.

I went to Newell's bedside and collapsed to my knees by the bed, staring at him as more pain tore through me. I was afraid to touch him. He looked so broken that I was afraid I'd make it worse if I did.

Why was he so small again? What had happened the two days I was gone? How could this much damage happen to someone like Newell?

"Easy," Hunter responded to my thoughts, making me shoot him a dirty look before looking back at Newell in pain, "Alora, the witch from San Francisco showed up. My guess is she was the tagger that the Stratius had sent. She not only gave Newell his nifty little gift of age and growth, but she'd also given him part of her strength, making it easier to track him down. It also gave him her scent. And because the Stratius was already in contact with her, they knew it and they found him no problem. Anyway, she told Newell she'd take the gift back and use it to bring you back. He thought she tricked him, and now thinks that you're still dead and he's trapped in the same cute little body that he hates so much."

Pain lacerated my heart at that. He'd given up what he wanted most... because he wanted me back? Why would he be so foolish?

"I know, right," Hunter exclaimed dramatically, "Who'd give up looking like a model from the Forever 21 ads just to fuck a guy who's penis is actually a tentacle?" I glared at Hunter, who smirked and said nothing more. I looked back at Newell, clenching my teeth. He looked so tired and so incredibly pale. I could tell he hadn't drank much blood lately, and the sleep? Those dark circles and his puffy eyes. The nail marks on his cheeks from clawing at himself. His tiny little fangs that peeked out from his upper lip.

I reached up with a thumb, sliding it under his upper lip and brushing it over his fangs. Newell whimpered in his sleep, reaching up to touch my hand, only to have it drop to the bed limply.

"N'sa sa...rry..." He mumbled in his drugged sleep. I flinched at his apology, watching a tear seep from under his dark lashes and slide down his cheek. I caught it before it could touch the sheets, watching the small drop of salty sorrow quiver on the pad of my finger. I stuck it in my mouth, sucking on it before I laid my hand across Newell's cheek, stroking the softness of his skin, savoring the feel of it on my cold, rough palm.

When will he wake up?

"When I say so," Hunter admitted with a shrug, making me blink and turn to glare at him, resulting in a smirk to tug at his lips again, "And I don't think I want him to wake up for a little bit. Not until we get a few things straightened out." I glared at him.

What kinds of things?

"Like the fact that you totally ruined my plans," Hunter responded dryly, folding his arms over his chest and leaning on the dresser, "The fact that I had everything perfectly laid out. I knew the Stratius was going to kill you and I was intent on it staying that way."

How?

"Daimonas, actually," Hunter commented, making me frown, "He had a vision of your death, but he put it off, thinking that if he didn't bother with it, it wouldn't happen. What the kid doesn't realize is that it doesn't work that way. It doesn't matter what you do to stop a vision, it will happen, one way or another. So, when I found out you'd die, man, I was happy as hell. I mean, you're not evil or anything and thanks for bein' such a pal to shortstack over there, but..." He paused to laugh and shrug.

"You're kind of in my way, shark bait," He said, making me curl my lip at him, causing him to grin at me wickedly, "I was supposed to end up with the pathetic little worm so I could get what I wanted, but nope. Newell actually loved you so much, damn him for it too, that he gave up the only thing he'd been wishing for since the day he found out about his condition. And while that probably makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, it pisses me off." I narrowed my eyes at him.

Why is that? Why are you so intent on making him miserable? You tried to kill Daimonas and then you killed me.

"Whoa," Hunter exclaimed, actually looking offended, "I did not kill you. I just didn't do shit to stop it, and I couldn't even if I wanted to. There are certain rules even I have to abide by."

Rules? What are you that you have rules?

Hunter snorted, shaking his head and running a hand around his neck to cup the back of it, like he was exasperated with me.

"The natural laws of the universe, couillon," He sighed wearily, "There are rules to things. Even the most powerful of creatures have guidelines. Things aren't as easy as one, two, three, A, B, C, baby you and me. Things are harder. And it's done like that on purpose because the Fates are a trio of sadistic bitches. I'm allowed to get into your business, but I can't help you in your business, capisce?" I frowned. I only understood what he was saying because my father had drilled this into my skull when it came to worshipping our God, as well as understanding other gods in other beliefs.

They could provide assistance and they could provide advice, but they couldn't interfer. It was like having someone ask you about a math problem on homework. Your parents could help you, but they couldn't do it for you. That wasn't their job. It was your job. And it was something that would forever frustrate me.

So what are you telling me? That you're a god?

"Nope," Hunter replied instantly, "I'm just an average Cajun boy, born and bred in the Louisiana bayous. The gators were my neighbors and the voodoo was my game. Drove my Catholic mama crazy, it did." I wasn't amused by that, but it was a start.

Voodoo?

"Duh," Hunter deadpanned impatiently, walking past the dogs, who backed away from him, before Hunter plopped down on the bed near Newt, making me growl low in my throat that was only ignored, "Nawlins is best known for its finest voodoo practices. My da was real into it because he thought the lwa gave him the strength to hunt down the creatures that threatened the existence of mankind. But, that's neither here nor there. I'm here to take Newt. And so are you. So we've reached a bit of an impass. I want to solve this without killing you again and without taking Newt too late or too early."

What do you mean by that?

"Stop pushing me," Hunter grunted, getting to his feet again to look down at me with narrowed eyes, "We need to reach some kind of agreement. Right now, I'll let Newt see you. Consider it a gift from me. Cuddle and do whatever you want. But it won't last long. Because I came here to get what I want and that's him." He pointed at Newell, then departed for the room. I wanted to ask him more questions, but I knew he wouldn't answer any of them directly. Everything that came out of his mouth was confusing and cryptic. The way he spoke was like him dancing around my questions and it only irritated me further.

I didn't have time for it.

I looked back at Newell, who still had yet to wake up. Hadn't Hunter told me he could wake Newell up? Or was he lying? I couldn't be sure. I touched Newell's shoulder and gave him a light shake. He still didn't wake up. It unnerved me that he barely looked like he was breathing. I gave him another rough shake and he shrugged me off, rolling over onto his other side. I scowled.

No, this I remember well. Newell never liked being woken up. It had always been a hassle.

I got on the bed and leaned over him on my hands and knees. I gave him another shake and he growled low in his throat, pulling the blankets closer to himself. He didn't speak like he normally did, which reminded me just how profound his grief was, but there was no need for him to grieve when I was right here in front of him and he wasn't waking up.

So I did the only thing that I knew would get his attention.

I broke one of his most important rules.

My people couldn't speak on land, but we could sing. The singing was a type of spell. It was also something that Newell hated for me to use. It made him feel vulnerable.

But if it was the only way to wake him up, then I would do it.

So I wet my lips with my tongue and parted them, and began to sing. It was a slow, gentle song with dragged out syllables, such as ya and ahn. They fell and rose seductively, forcefully. Newell squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as if he were trying to block me out before his features softened and his eyes slid open. He rolled onto his back so he was looking directly up at me. Because of the spell, he wasn't reacting in surprise. If anything, he thought he was dreaming. He looked tired still, drained of energy. His pale blue eyes watched me with an adoration and longing that sent a pang of pain through me.

I reached up to stroke my fingers down his soft cheek and he breathed a sigh at that, tilting his head to kiss at my fingers. I smiled at that, bringing the song to a very slow, very steady close. My voice faded and Newell just laid there, looking at my hand. He stroked his fingers down the center of my palm, before a frown worked itself onto his face. He seemed confused for a moment before he blinked rapidly.

He let go of my hand and looked up at me again, his icy blue eyes trying to focus on the fact that I was above him. I cocked my head, frowning at him in concern. Then I reached up to my chest, rubbing my fist in a slow circle to indicate an apology.

He looked like he was struggling to believe what was in front of him. His breathing came out in short gasps before he pursed his lips, his fists clenching in the sheets beneath him. I touched my chest with two fingers, then sat back to cross my arms over my chest, before leaning forward again to touch his chest. I mouthed the words, just to make sure he hadn't forgotten.

I love you.

And for the first time in my life, I watched Newell sob. Tears gushed down his face like precious crystals fleeing over porcelain. Pain cut through me and I sat back, pulling Newell with me into my arms. He clung to me desperately, hiding his face against my chest. I felt his tiny hands grab at my back as if to make sure I was solid. They moved to grab my arms as he pulled back, breathing hard. His hands wandered my chest, giving me steady pushes, then pulls. He brought them up to my throat, laying them over my pulse. I placed my hands over his, bringing them up to press on either side of my face. His eyes lifted and met mine, the tears still glistening in his eyes.

"Please be real." He choked out in agony. I squeezed his hands against my cheeks, then leaned forward and captured his lips in mine. His lips were just as I remembered, petal soft and dainty, his tongue moist and tiny. He moaned instantly as our lips met, his mouth opening to allow me full access. I leaned down enough so he could run his fingers through my hair. He fisted the blue locks tightly, but I didn't care. He could pull on them as much as he wanted.

He kissed me back heavily, panting for breath as we finally broke apart, a string of saliva breaking between us as he studied my eyes intensely. Then he kissed me again with a fierce hunger that caught me off guard, but I didn't push him away. I laid back on the bed and let him climb on top of me, his little fangs nipping at my lips.

His pretty blue eyes were becoming a deep red shade, like blood, indicating his severe hunger. One that I was happy to sate. He broke our lips apart and buried his mouth against my throat. Without hesitation, he sank his fangs down into my throat. I growled low in my throat, savoring the pinching sensation of them descending into my skin. He gripped at me feverishly, taking deep, hungry gulps. My heart pounded violently against the inside of my chest, vision tilting before Newell finally drew back, licking at his lips to make sure there was no blood there. He sat on my stomach, looking down at me with pale blue eyes.

"You left me." Newell managed, his lower lip quivering, eyes still glittering with tears that prepared to fall down his face. I reached up, taking his hands in mine and placing them on my chest, savoring the feel of their soft warmth. I was relieved to see that his feeding had caused the color to return to his face. I smiled up at him and mouthed the words very slowly.

I will always come back.

Newell choked on a sob and I sat up so he was in my lap. I wrapped my arms around him and held him to my chest as he cried, grabbing onto me tightly and refusing to release me, which was perfectly okay with me. I cradled him for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, letting him cry. He finally ceased to sniffles and deep breathes, his cheek resting against my chest.

"Xed," He breathed at last, making me look down at him as he studied my chest before looking up at me, meeting my eyes with a stare so intense it gave me goosebumps, "I love you." A chill coursed through me as he spoke those words, my heart jumping into into my throat.

He said it. He finally said it out loud. I suddenly felt so light and happy, at the same time, so hot and hungry to be inside him, but there was no way we could do such a thing. If I hurt him as he was, I would hurt him as he is and I had caused him enough pain. So instead, I leaned down and kissed his forehead. I kissed his nose, his cheeks, his eyelids, his ears, then his lips. He relaxed, closing his eyes in bliss as he kissed me back for a while before leaning back to stare up at me. His eyes studied me, but it was difficult to tell what was going through his mind.

Until he leaned back and got between my legs, unzipping my pants. My eyes widened and grabbed him by the wrist to stop him, but he looked up at me with an intensity that made me instantly release him.

"Please let me do this." Newell said quietly. I hesitated. I felt a little guilty that I couldn't control the fire of my lust, and that Newell felt he had to appease it, but there was also something oddly touching about it. I just gave him a short nod and he sighed in relief. He opened my pants and I sucked in a sharp breath at being freed from the tight confines. Newell stroked me and touched me, making me pant heavily. He took me as much as he could into his mouth and I growled deep in my throat at the sensation. I sank my claws into the bed to resist grabbing him. I shut my eyes, breathing hard as his small warm mouth worked skillfully up and down my shaft.

His mouth left me too soon and I risked opening my eyes to see him kiss the tip of me before peering up at me. My body trembled at that and I held my breath, watching him nuzzle and rub his cheek against me. He took me back into his mouth and I growled, body shuddering as I resisted release, but I couldn't. I came hard, flinching as Newell shut his eyes, wincing as he tried to take everything he could into his mouth. He finally leaned back, swallowing hard and shivering a little, using his fingers to wipe whatever had gotten on his face, into his mouth.

"I'm still not used to that taste." He admitted dryly, then scooted back up to sit in my lap, nuzzling my chest. I was still breathing heavily, body feeling weak from just that simle, but touching gesture. I wrapped an arm around him to hold him against me.

"I'm sorry," Newell said after a few minutes of silence, making me frown and tilt my head to look down at him as he ran his thumb back and forth over my nipple, "But if it meant bringing you back, I didn't care... This is probably all I can do for you, and I apologize for that." I shook my head, scowling and leaned down, kissing his head repeatedly. He laughed quietly at that, leaning back to look up at me. There was a softness in those blue eyes that I had never seen before.

"I don't know why," He murmured, making me cock my head curiously, "Why they let me keep you. What I did or said. My entire life... I've hurt people. I've killed people. I've destroyed lives, even my own. I deserve to be damned and tortured, but for once in my life, I've been granted mercy. I get to keep you." I smiled at him, reaching up to cup his cheek in my palm. He closed his eyes and sighed at that, placing his hand over mine before he turned his head in to kiss my palm, teasing the pads of my fingers with his fangs.

I leaned in, kissing him on the forehead. He tilted his head so he could kiss at my nose. I smiled at that and he rewarded me with a light smile on those perfect lips.

"I love you. So much." He breathed. I mouthed the words back at him and he shivered, rising up on his knees to wrap his arms around my neck and hold my head against his chest.

So I could hear the rapid flutter of his heart in his chest. It was like music to my ears.

This was where I belonged. I didn't belong in the ocean living a day to day routine. I didn't belong in the sea of the dead. My place was right here, right beside Newell. The sweet sound of his heart beating a gentle beat in his chest. The sound of his voice in my ears. His sarcastic remarks and even his cynical attitude. The way his fangs flashed whenever he spoke. The reddening of his cheeks whenever he was angry or embarrassed. The feel of his soft skin brushing against mine and his perfect lips covering mine.

This was where I wanted to be.

And this is where I would be, for the rest of eternity.