#Review 34

Written by Nasiim22
Reviewed by imadwarf3
Aka Kai.

Details.

Cover: The cover probably revealed a little TOO much about the book, but honestly, I thought it was so fitting. It was simple and it fit the plot of the book beautifully.

Plot: I loved the plot! It was so unique and different from a lot of other Mafia books you read, and I think that was what made it special. I mean, I don't like mob books but this one got me so absorbed

Prologue: I was hooked by the prologue. Besides a few grammatical errors, it was really clear and easy to understand. It got me thinking 'who's the man who got shot? why did he get shot? was he in trouble?' and it was very thrilling to read.

A few things:

"No, no, no! This can't be happening!" A man cried over an elderly man's body. "Please don't do this to me!" He tried CPR, but it was no use.

He was already gone.

He was shot in the chest multiple times and a bullet was lodged deep inside his brain.

(just reordering those two sentences would be a lot clearer and would make it easier to understand)

Chapter 1: I REALLY understand Hazel. That would honestly be me, talking to myself on the way to the grocery store.

Chapter 2: Just put a comma after dealing with douchebags. Other than that, this chapter was well thought out and well written.

But seriously, WTH JULIAN STOP BEING SUCH A CREEP. (I would die of embarrassment if a man did that to me)

"Who do you think you are?" Instead of "Who do you think you're, huh?"

Is Hazal talking in that one really long paragraph? Because I'd put quotation marks so you can clearly tell that she's saying something

Chapter 3: WHAT?! THAT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING BEGINNING!

A couple more grammatical errors: When the guy says "Ahhhh...uhhh. One more move and I will break her neck", get rid of the Ahhh....uuhhh. It sounds more threatening if the guy just says "one more move and I'll break her neck."

But I mean, he's smiling at her. That's cute right?

CHAPTER 4: um HELLO Trevor is a regular Chuck Bass

But at least Julian is looking after Hazal. That's cute, right?

Chapter 5: Sam is so sweet!

Cover: 10/10

Plot: 14/15

Grammar: 7/10

Spelling: 8/10

Enjoyment: 9/10

-Kai Parker.