I sat in a daze as we continued driving. Everyone nervously clutched their weapons. I couldn't sleep. I didn't deserve it. I had killed Seth. I had killed Berry's baby. I should have been shot instead. My frazzled mind had focused on that one image.

It felt like a couple minutes, but it must have been several hours later. We pulled into a lot, and I continued to stare straight ahead to the headrest in front of me. I had killed Seth.

My door suddenly slid open.

"Naomi?" Elijah asked worriedly and swore under his breath. "You should be asleep."

I ignored him.

"Alpha, we can take care of her," Daniel said, "if you need us to."

"Thank you, Daniel. But let me talk with Naomi. Could you have the medics meet us here? Quickly?"

Daniel sprinted off.

"Naomi?" Elijah asked. I continued to stare. "Naomi, please. Could you not sleep?"

I blinked a few times. My brain felt like it was trudging through sludge. I had one image burned into my skull. Lifeless skin. A reddish black hole.

"Naomi?"

"I killed him" I said.

"You what?" Elijah asked.

"I killed Seth. The baby."

"What? You were with us the entire time."

I looked at Elijah, wracked with grief and shame. "It's because I left."

Elijah sighed. "Naomi, that wasn't your fault. Let's talk about this later, okay? You need to rest," he said seriously, stroking the hair on the back of my head down tenderly. "Naomi? Look at me."

I turned to meet his eyes.

"None of this is your fault. Sleep. We will handle this. You need to sleep." His eyes focused on mine intently, willing me to understand.

I nodded as medics arrived. One of them slid me out of the seat and onto the bed they had rolled out to me. My heart burned with hate. I hated that they were here, caring for me, while Seth was dead and freezing.

I stared blankly as they rolled me to the medical ward. I blinked and suddenly we were there. It looked familiar. "I'm fine," I said as one of them began pulling up my shirt. My shirt was red.

Gold. Then, they all left me. They left me and my thoughts. Seth was dead. And it was all my fault.

I waited patiently for an hour. Then, I tossed the covers over me and stood up. My legs nearly gave out, but I grit my teeth and accepted the pain in my ribs as justice. Determination flooded my veins. The air was ice cold. I embraced it as penance. I deserved this. I deserved to die.

I took a deep breath, acutely aware that I didn't deserve it. I had to do all I could to save Berry and Eric. Damien was going to kill them. I would turn myself in. I would save them.

I stepped to the door and gently opened it. The hall was dark. The hallway was swimming in front of me, but I ignored it. I stepped into the dark hallway. I continued and took the elevator to the sixth floor—the armory.

It was unoccupied. I was grateful, single-mindedly focused. It felt like I could only see out of one eye. I grabbed the first pistol I saw and loaded it like Daniel had taught me. I walked back to the elevator and made my way down to the first floor.

"Where do you think you are going?" a voice called.

I turned to see Elijah standing there, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. In the castle, he looked younger, like he was living in his father's shadow. The past days had hardened him. He did not live in the shadows anymore—he ruled them.

"I have to go," I said plainly.

"No, you do not. And you will not." He glanced around. "Why the hell are you out of bed?" he asked.

"Eli," I said, closing my eyes. I opened them as soon as I saw Seth's body burned into my eyelids. "I have to. He's going to kill Berry. He already killed their baby. I have to go." I turned to limp toward the door. Suddenly Elijah appeared in front of me, blocking me with his body. I blinked at his speed, trying to figure out how he had done that.

"No, you will not," he said lowly. I avoided eye contact so he couldn't see my tear-stained face. I leaned back and grabbed the wall as I almost toppled. My ribs screamed.

I deserved this.

He reached out a hand to steady me, but I shoved it off.

Help?

I didn't deserve help.

"Naomi, how are you standing right now?"

"I have to go back or he—he will kill them all," I choked out, another bout of tears creeping up my throat. I tried to step past him, but he grabbed my arms and thrust me back in front of him, locked tight in his grip.

I must have looked horrid because he frowned with his whole face. Not just a shadow of it.

"Nao, you should be sleeping."

I shook my head. "No," I snapped. I didn't deserve sleep.

"Naomi, everyone deserves sleep." Did I say that out loud? "Your brain is messing with you. Go to sleep. I know you haven't slept for three days. Please. Let's talk about this in the morning. Not now." He glanced down at his watch. "At 3 a.m. You need rest. And liquid. Neither of which you are getting standing here."

"I'll be fine," I snapped weakly.

He narrowed his eyes and suddenly twisted me, so my back was against his front. He moved both my hands into one of his huge ones, careful to avoid the wounds on my wrists and patted my hip. Crap.

"Naomi, are you packing?" he asked incredulously. He pushed my shirt up and unclipped the holster. My ribs ached as he held me. The selfish part of me wanted to collapse against him and weep. To give in.

I couldn't.

I didn't deserve his comfort.

He opened a portal and tossed the holster into the dark realm. I wouldn't be getting that back. He untwirled me so we were face to face again. His frown deepened into a fierce anger. "You're going to get yourself shot. Or worse."

"Who cares?" I asked.

His face was heavy with frustration. "Naomi, go back to your room. Now. You are in no state to leave."

"Elijah! Let go of me!" I shouted in frustration.

"Go back to your room," he growled. "Or I will make you."

"This is my choice!" I said sharply.

"You're not going, Naomi. This is not your choice; this is Damien's choice."

"I am going," I said and thrashed again, rolling pain through me. His hands didn't budge.

"Go. To. Your. Room," he commanded slowly. "Last chance."

"You can't stop—"

Suddenly, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. My ribs slammed against his shoulder. They crunched. I couldn't even open my mouth to scream as agony swum over me. I couldn't breathe through the pain.

"Like it or not, Nao, I am stronger than you. You have a stupid martyr streak. It is my job as your friend to stop you from making horrible decisions. As a friend and fellow elemental. I'm trying to keep you safe—including from yourself. You're a mess right now, but you're not guilty. Damien is the reason for their baby's death. Don't let him trick you into believing otherwise."

My heart rate was picking up even as my body was seizing up from the pain. I couldn't let Elijah stop me. I was the only way to save Berry. I had already caused them to lose the baby. I had to go.

My ribs. I was going to die.

"But I'm beginning to understand that you're in no state to listen to me," Damien said, stepping into the dark realm.

Elijah set me down on my bed and I fell back, seizing in pain. "I...have to...go...I killed," I managed, panting hard. Tears streaked down my face. My ribs felt like they were stabbing me with a knife each time I took a breath. I could feel the collar around my neck again.

"Naomi?" He swore under his breath and leapt onto the bed next to me where I was writhing in pain. "Crap. Crap. Crap." I felt like hand gently tug my shirt up so he could see my ribs.

He swore. "What the hell happened, Nao?" He swore. "I literally flipped you onto my shoulder." He shouted another curse and I felt like fingers flitting across my ribs. "Beyond broken," he muttered. "Nao, I had no idea. I am so sorry. That...this has to be excruciating."

I needed to save them. I couldn't let Damien kill them.

"I'm going to go get help," Elijah said, starting to stand. He glared at me seriously. "Do not move." I felt a golden blanket being set over me like in the desert.

I grabbed his hand before he could move. He needed to understand. "I killed him," I whispered, swallowing as a fresh bout of pain swept over me. Darkness began edging toward my eyes. "I killed..." I faded into darkness.