I felt the wind whip my braids back and I grinned, urging the wind to go faster. I wanted to fly. Now. Without wings. A sudden gust of wind buffeted me back and I heard a cry of shock from behind me. I opened my eyes and saw that Elijah had fallen onto the ground and was struggling to get back up in the fierce windstorm.

I leaned into the wind. It was loud, screeching past my ears. A heat filled my chest. I wanted more. Whatever this was. I wanted more. I pressed my palms out in front of me and the wind grew stronger.

My eyes saw nothing but gold.

If I had this power back at Redwood, I would have been accepted.

Jody wouldn't have dared hurt me.

The alpha would have seen that I was worth more than dirt.

More than that.

If I had this power, building inside me, I could have wiped them out. I could have crumpled that pompous glass building, glass shards ripping the alpha's perverted hands at the wrists. I could have usurped the alpha and put people in power who deserved it. Those who were strong.

I could have established justice.

I could see the glass shards laying along the decaying leaves, dark red blood staining the ground. It would be an easy death.

I would be free.

"Naomi!" I heard a faint voice.

I blinked a few times and the gold disappeared. 

I turned to see Elijah reaching for me, hair straight back in the fierce onslaught. His eyes were squinted. My breath caught in my throat, and the wind stopped. I fell forward and caught myself on my hand and knees, setting myself down on the ground in exhaustion. The air moving down my windpipe was scratchy and rough. 

"What—was—that " I panted, rolling onto my back, and staring up at the gray sky in shock. My eyes darted over to where Elijah stood, with his hands on his hips.

"That was impressive," he admitted, "but frightening out of control. I was hoping for more."

I glanced at Elijah again. He seemed unaware of my inner conflict.

"The thing is that magic can knock down a building no problem. However, unlocking a door? That is far more useful. And far less dangerous. Go again. When I motion for you to stop, you must stop immediately."

"Give me a minute to catch my breath." And try to right my head.

"No." My heart thudded. "If you can only wield your magic when you're well-rested, you will be useless in a fight."

I swallowed and sat up, knowing he was right and hating every moment of it. I closed my eyes and tried to urge the wind back. The problem was—I was freaked. Controlling that wind felt so good. But, Elijah was right. I had no control. I didn't want control. I just wanted destruction.

My heart was pounding. Was that really me? 

I took a shaky breath. Justice was good and right. But that wasn't justice. That was revenge, hiding behind a thin veil of righteousness.

If we weren't in the dark realm, someone could have gotten seriously hurt.

I took a deep breath and a breeze caressed my arms.

"Stop it now," Elijah commanded.

Stop. I urged. However, the wind grew stronger. I felt like I was riding a horse and the horse suddenly started trotting in the wrong direction, continually gaining speed until he was in a gallop. My heart pounded as I realized how little control I had. Was I controlling the wind or was it controlling me? The wind grew stronger and stronger until I could feel my hair shipping against my back. Elijah was yelling at me to stop.

I was trying. I really was. Suddenly, I felt a small hitch inside me, like there was a little rock jutting out of my stomach. I latched onto it and pulled it down, snapping my hands shut. The wind stopped in a flash or gold. 

I opened my eyes to see Elijah pushing himself up.

He was glaring at me, rubbing his forehead.

"Clearly, you were not getting the message. Why are you letting it win?"

"What?" I asked, panting for air. My furiously beating heart betrayed my guilt. "What won?"

"You are letting it control you. Manipulate you. Why are you letting it?" he asked with tortured eyes.

"I...I don't know. I'm trying to control it, but—it's really hard."

"You're giving up because it's hard?"

"I'm just not good at this. I need more time."

"That's not true, Naomi. You were made for this. You are letting it manipulate you because I think you might actually enjoy the security he brings," he said harshly.

He?

"Nothing is neutral when it is wielded by someone with an agenda. What's your agenda? Why won't you reign the magic in?" he accused. "What do you want?"

"What do you mean?" I stammered guiltily. "I don't want anything. I have no agenda."

"Yes, you do. What do you want?"

I narrowed my eyes. "This is the first time I've done any of this. I'm sorry I didn't come out of the womb perfectly able to wield the old magic."

He stalked up to me and grabbed my wrists. He yanked me up and pulled me against him. "Admit it," he whispered in my ear softly, "you like being controlled."

I yanked myself away slowly, but he held firm. His eye drilled into mine. I stared into the deep brown, almost black orbs.

"You want to be controlled," he whispered again. His lips brushed my ear, and I could almost melt into his strong embrace. It was darkly warm, like the honeyed sleepiness that wrapped around someone who just woke up from a restful night.

"No," I said suddenly. I looked up at Elijah. I yanked my hands back. "I don't want to be controlled."

"Yes, you do," he said softly, drawing closer.

"No, I do not," I snapped, lifting my hand. I would hit him if he touched me again.

"Then what do you want?" he snapped back.

"I want to be free."

Silence.

Oh.

The word was like a clear bell resounding through my body.

A ghost of a smile passed over Elijah's face. He stepped back; the intensity of the situation deflated. "Finally, we are getting somewhere." He sat down next to me, a few feet away. "We do not have much time until Saturday. I will help you as much as I can until then. After that, well, we'll see. What did you see the first time the wind controlled you?"

I swallowed and took a few deep breaths. "I—I killed my old alpha."

Elijah didn't seem spooked. "Why?"

I licked my lips nervously. "I thought it was for justice. He hated me. He facilitated and encouraged my torture. He harmed so many people in our pack. So I killed him."

There was silenced. I was hoping he would accept my partial confession, but he waited patiently.

"I saved everyone. And then I was free."

Elijah nodded. "You were finally free; you saved them and then you were free."

I winced when he said that. It was like a knife going straight into my chest.

He sighed. "Your magic is in tune with the wind. The wind resists being controlled at all costs. That is the nature of it. It cannot be bound or restrained. It delights in being free. Free from restraint and free from danger. You desire to be free from danger is likely what keeps you so locked up with the usurper.

"The same goes with you. Never allow yourself to be tied up. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Once you give up control, you are powerless. Never try to tie up the wind. The more you exert control, the fiercer it will resist. Gently prod it and it will go where you will, a gentle caress or a fierce buffet. Suppress it and it will make you remember its strength."

I nodded.

"Do it again," he said.

I took a deep breath. "Okay."