"And maybe one day when I look into your eyes I won't see the haunting past but a peaceful smile of solace."

Shivaaye

His home was visibly glowing with happiness after so many years of sorrows and fear. He watched in fascination as some kind of new lively energy seemed to have surrounded the elder members of OM. An energy that was missing in this house from past 19 years seemed to have reignited at once with a name resonating through everyone's veins.

For him time seemed to pass really slowly and the wait felt unbearable. Ishana didn't inform Anika when Shivanya will come and that felt frustrating now as his gaze again traveled to the main door searching for any sign indicating her presence, no one knew when she will come but he couldn't wait to see her in person after so long.

He hasn't seen her in person since what felt like ages. The last seemingly close memory of them he remembers is the time when a 4 year old Shivanya got afraid of thunderstorm and slept with them, hugging him tightly whole night afraid of the thunderous sound and that memory always followed the memory of a 8 year old Shivanya scared of thunderstorms coming to them for solace but they had turned her away that night saying it was just thunderstorm and it was stupid to be afraid of those sounds.

After that Shivanya never confided in them with her fears. She didn't seek them out when she was scared and never uttered a single word of retaliation towards anymore but looks like fate has it's own way of punishing them. The daughter he cared about yet was too angry to display his feelings now is so angry at them that she doesn't even wants to call them her parents. He clearly remembers the day OM unexpectedly faced a power cut and he knew she was as afraid of darkness as her mother but she didn't come out of her room and when he went to check on her. He found her sitting on her bed wrapping herself around her teddy bear, her eyes shut close and shivering with fear. He had called her out to be with them that day he has seen the hope, happiness and love shinning in her eyes. Hope, that everything will be same again her parents will love her as much as they loved her before that dreaded incident. She will be her papa's princess again but that never happened everyone was too bitter and angry to forget that incident anytime soon.

He thought time will heal those wounds but that never happened, the wounds just deepened with time. There was a haunting absence surrounding them every moment no one could imagine a Shivanya without Shivaansh. They both were twins always with each other and connected to each other. Watching Shivanya the deep hollow Shivaansh left in their will always resurface no one could stand in Shivanya's presence knowing Shivaansh wasn't there and he didn't know when sorrow changed into resentment. he didn't know how time didn't heal the wounds but carved new once in an innocent heart. He didn't know when the whole family started blaming Shivanya for Shivaansh death, he didn't realize when they started making Shivanya feel like a murderer. He just knew they all were drowned in sorrow and pain after Shivaansh's supposed death, blaming themselves when that blamed shifted to Shivanya he didn't know but he knew he tried to be there for her, tried to act as if he wasn't in pain every time he saw her and realized Shivaansh wasn't there. Shivaansh would also be this old, Shivaansh would do this?? Will Shivaansh like this or that?? What will Shivaansh be like ?? The questions always tormented his soul and he could clearly see Shivanya could read the pain in his eyes and seemed more depressed in his presence. So, he kept his distance and tried to make sure she gets whatever she wants but looks like he failed and that too miserably. 

Their distance never let them know what Shivanya was like really?? He didn't know his own girl not at all and that day with Shivika in I.C.U and all the clues pointing towards Shivanya they all lost themselves in grief again. The memory of Shivanya pushing Shivaansh down the hill flashing freshly in their mind. They had lost Shivaansh and were on the verge of losing Shivika and in grief lashed out at Shivanya, no one noticed her wounds in their grief. Not even he himself who claimed to look after her somewhat when everyone else were too lost in their own grief and that was the last time he saw his girl. He remember searching for her like a frantic knowing she wasn't at home. He remembered screaming her name in the dark stormy thunderous night, sometimes the thunder will drown his voice but she didn't reply. He remember watching the footage of how Shivanya rescued Shivika, he watched with seething fury and utter helplessness as those beasts kicked and punched his daughter mercilessly and she didn't say a single world, ready to bear any pain for her sister. he watched how risking her life she securely took her sister in the hospital and never mentioned her own injuries. He had noticed the look few known men shared if the wounds went untreated for long and get infected she will scumbled down to them. He didn't want to believe his daughter was dead no he hadn't shared that footage with anyone. It was all his the fire in her eyes, the disregard of her own life, the way she look death in the eye without fear was all his to torment his self and remind him that he failed. His daughter thought her life was valueless that she didn't matter to them, only Shivika did. She thought they won't be sad if She died they will be only heartbroken if something happens to Shivika. 

He had seen it in her eyes in that footage she will sacrifice herself to make sure Shivika escaped unscathced and he didn't knew how will he make her see she matters to him, to them too. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to her. He had seen Anika break realizing that they had lost Shivanya, no news came of her. They didn't know whether she was alive or ...., he can't even make himself say the word and that time he knew knowing someone was dead was better than having no clue about them, cause at least they could grieve Shivaansh knowing how he died but with Shivanya they didn't know anything. They knew nothing about her and it was terrifying. he couldn't sleep in nights thinking about her, where was she??what was she doing? as one after one horrific scenarios passed through his mind. 

He remembers visiting the morgues each time police found some dead teenage girls body that experience was soul wrenching and the nightmares surrounding him after every such incidence as his mind played with him thinking what if his girl was lying dead rotting in some remote corner of the city away from everyone's eyes never to be found again. he doesn't even want to think about all that again his girl is alive and coming home that's all matters isn't it.  

He still remembers the day, all the tabloids printed the news of a kid who looked exactly like him, whose movie was going to release. He didn't want to believe it but he acted on his instincts and they all uncovered a buried truth Svetlana kept her word. she saved Shivaansh as promised to Shivanya but couldn't take him to security. Shivaansh was adopted by the Kapoor's and he didn't knew if a situation could be more ironic the way Shivaansh's absence used to haunt him in Shivanya's presence. Shivanya haunted him in Shivaansh's presence the more he saw the boy the more he realized he wasn't Shivanya, Shivanya wasn't there. 

But they were all happy by his return seated between all of them, Shivaansh narrated what exactly happened that day on top of hill. How those sadistic men thought it was fun to see what happens if a choice is given to the kids who wants to die first. he narrated how Shivanya hugged him tightly and asked him to take care of Anika and him and Svet will save him as she pushed him down the cliff, knowing very welly she couldn't escape after that the men will shoot her and how Svet saved him but the men were following them. 

Shivaaye could clearly see the pain and guilt shining in everyone's eyes listening to little Shivanya's words before she pushed her brother down. she wanted to save him and they called her murdered when even at that age she was ready to die for her family. he knew if Shivanya was really dead now. he couldn't ever forgive himself or his family for making Shivanya feel so. he had seen the way something crumbled in Anika and she was holding herself through a small strained thread which could break anytime. After all she was the one who birthed the two and her grief and pain was unimaginable in both cases. she had gotten her son but lost her daughter and maybe forever but no one of them were prepared for the fit Shivaansh threw knowing what happened to Shivanya. He left them, he didn't want to do anything with them. he was angry he didn't tell them anything about his life after Svet saved him. he just called his mom and left, breaking the strained thread Anika was holding onto with her whole might. 

That night he had seen Anika sitting in Shivanya's room all night, lost in her thoughts, holding shivanya's dresses close to her heart and then not feeling Shivanya around screaming in distress. Few days after he had seen her gather herself again for Shivika, Omav, Omisha and Ritisha but something had broken into her. She blamed herself for everything and he knew it. He knew all of them went to Shivanya's room in various times of night trying to feel her but couldn't, all her dresses were untouched with no smell of her. Her smell wasn't even lingering in the room and Shivanya's teddy was with him. he wasn't ready to share it with anyone else but it doesn't matter now, his daughter was alive and coming home and that's all matters, atleast to him.

"Shivaye, kya soch rha h" the familiar concerned voice of his brother questioned him, pulling him out of his musings 

"kuch, khas nhi....accha Ishana ne kuch aur bataya Shivanya k baare mein" he questioned him wanting to know the answers of his unasked questions 

"naah, she is talking to Anika bhabi....maybe bhabi ko kuch bataya ho" Om said with a frown and he didn't wanted to know what was going in his brother's mind at that moment 

"oh, she will come right" he asked the question he didn't want to utter out yet something was squeezing his heart tightly everytime this question visited his mind.

"she will, she keeps her promises or so I've heard" Om tried to reassure him but he could see the same amount of doubt and fear in his brother's eyes 

When his mother called all of their attention towards the changing weather, out of nowhere dark clouds seemed to surround the sunny sky. The winds seemed to change the course of their movement, the gentle breeze changed into powerful winds with lightning strikes in distance but all he could think was that she is afraid of thunderstorms and the darkness that prevails the world and he had failed her like no one.

Pinky Oberoi's heart filled with dread watching the changing weather. Last night, Anika had told about Shivanya's question to them and she knew in her heart that if it was Shivaansh's in Shivanya's place he would be treated differently. He won't be hated by all even if Anika and Shivaaye remained same doused in their griefs. She wouldn't have ever held Shivaansh responsible for that incidence or blamed him. She would have protected Shivaansh with all her heart after all she was more happy with Shivaansh birth than Shivanya's. She was happy that Anika has given the family the first male heir just like her and so she doted on Shivaansh more than Shivanya. After all Shivanya couldn't be their heir like Shivaansh could be and she even wished that it should have been Shivanya in place of Shivaansh if one of the twins really needed to die it should have been Shivanya not her prince Shivaansh, not the heir of her family. Not her grandson and when she got to know Shivanya has pushed her grandson to death. she hated the girl more, she wanted her to know that she murdered her brother. She is the reason of the whole family's misery. She snatched their happiness and now she hates herself for treating the little girl like that she always thought that the girl will go away one day and when she left. she didn't feel any good, she didn't felt triumph knowing her grandson's culprit was finally getting what she deserved. she felt miserable, she waited for news on the girl but the news never came and her grandson one day turned out to be undead and everything she ever knew or believed turned out to be false. 

Her grandson refused to have any relation with them, he seemed to love being the sole heir of an entirely different family, there was no news on her granddaughter. she could be dead for all they knew and their family seemed same to the outer world. No one noticed the huge gaps in the relations, no one noticed the cracks and sorrows surrounding the family. She has seen her son silently wail night after night for his children, she has seen her daughter-in-law look blankly at Omav and Omisha when they have their twin moments before heart wrenching sorrow replaced the blankness in her eyes and she didn't know what was more terrifying the blankness or sorrow and after so many years she has for the first time seen genuine happiness shine in everyone's eyes and she didn't want anything to tear away that happiness and the changing weather didn't make her feel happy but all her dread was replaced with nervousness when she heard the unmistakable sound of a car pulling in, she watched as every member of OM gather around the window to stare out at the familiar car of Shivaansh coming to halt before the house. 

And just like that her heart swelled with happiness knowing her grandson was there but to her surprise no one come out of the car for long and then the door towards the driver's seat opened and Shivaansh came out looking around with indifference surrounding his features as always his poker face even better than her son. He walked towards the back of his and unloaded two small suitcases from the car when the first drops of rain graced the earth, with the luggage he hastily climbed the starting stairs and stood at the doorstep motioning for someone to come too and her breath stuck in her throat when she saw her slowly descend out of the car and stood in the rain calmly, letting the cold drops kiss her glowing milky white skin.

"Anya jaldi aa, thand lg jayegi yrr" she heard the concerned yell of her grandson for the first time she saw the mask of indifference surrounding him crumble in the premises of OM

Shivanya nodded her head in negative as she embraced the rain with a willful smile as a brilliant blinding pinkish white flashed in the sky behind her followed by a thunderous ear deafening roar and a small laugh escaped Shivanya's lips as she soaked in the water

"Anya yrr, Viaan gussa krega" Ansh spoke in a helpless way as he tried to reason with her to come inside and she walked towards him slowly as she forwarded her hand to him to guide her inside. Shaking, his head he held her hand and a brilliant mischievous smile flashed on her face when instead of climbing the porch stairs she pulled him down towards her in the rain.

"Anya" he screamed in a voice totally lacking it's usual heat as she laughed again yelling in the howling winds "Viaan ko mein sambhal lungi"

Shivaansh moved his fingers through her hairs before smiling as he indulged in her wish of dancing in the rain like children, laughing like little kids on their inside jokes targeting one Viaan Kundra.

Everyone watched the two laughing, playing and dancing in the rain without a care of the world. No one has even seen this shade of Ansh and Anya. No one has seen Ansh laugh this freely and genuinely and everyone knew Ansh hated rains while Anya's laughs were always confined and reserved. Her greyish blue eyes were sparkling with joy and didn't have their usual ice in that moment. After all they were twins and their happiness was interconnected.

But at the moment all Shivaaye saw was the girl that was looking at lightning with fascination shining brightly in her eyes and not fear. He didn't know this girl, the girl with his daughter's face but with someone entirely different on inside. He didn't raise her and he didn't know where the iciness in those greyish blue eyes so like his yet so beautifully different came from. he didn't know what made her smile and why the girl and boy dancing in the rain looked like ice and fire. Why one was boiling lava and other was an avalanche?? Why they looked so beautiful yet so destructive?? And why Viaan Kundra was the link joining them??

But what really matters is that Shivanya is home isn't it?? Even if he doesn't know for how long.....

to be continued