Inhibitions
The evening sun had cast long shadows on the mountains of Dehradun. The slanting rays of the setting sun gave a warm orange tinge to the illuminating horizon. The pale crescent moon shone like a silvery claw in the new night sky, making Bondita wonder about her upcoming life as Anirudh's wife.
The jeep had stopped outside the Dehradun Central Hospital. Although Trilochan had insisted in going to their Banglow first and change into something warmer and more appropriate, both Anirudh and Bondita however, had insisted on visiting Mira in the hospital.
"Suresh Da... Thank you so much for everything you did!"
Anirudh held out his open arms to greet Suresh warmly.
"Anirudh!!" Suresh exclaimed. "You have no idea how worried I was... Thank goodness that you two are safe."
He accepted Anirudh's cordial embrace as his eyes turned towards Bondita.
"My my... What do I see! So, my little sister is finally a married woman again!"
He smiled at her warmly noticing the bright red sindoor in her forehead.
"Congratulations Bhai, Anirudh. I wish you an excellent and healthy marital life."
"Thank you Dada.." Anirudh smiled back. "How is Mira?"
Suresh's face clouded at the mention of Mira's name.
"She is in a trauma Anirudh. She doesn't talk much. Her health condition is unstable as well." Suresh paused to let the couple sink in to his words. "I think it would be best to keep her under medical observation for some more days."
"Whatever you say Dada... Can we see her?" Anirudh asked his politely.
Suresh nodded pointing out the direction leading to Mira's small medical chamber.
Anirudh and Bondita had turned to leave as Suresh called out from behind.
"Bondita... I need to speak to you if that is alright." He remarked looking at Anirudh to seek an approval.
"Sure Dada... Tell me." Bondita stayed back as she gestured Anirudh to proceed towards Mira's room.
"Bondita I'm glad you are alright." Suresh smiled at her as an uneasiness enveloped his demeanor.
"What is it Suresh Da, please tell me!" Bondita urged.
Suresh couldn't speak for a moment. He stood still, probably gathering his sequence of thoughts to justify his next course of words to Bondita.
"Do you remember I said that I'll ask you if I need assistance of yours?" He asked her slowly as Bondita nodded her head in affirmation.
"Bondita, I'm urging you to withdraw the case against the Sinha family. Please take back the case." Suresh joined his hands and raised them infront of her in a plea.
"Rishit is still in the police custody... and Kshitija...."
"What about her?" Bondita asked as her eyes met the doctor.
"She is homeless Bondita. She is staying in my house."
"Suresh Da!!" Bondita exclaimed sharply at the revelation.
"What would I do Bondita? I love her! I have always loved her, and I don't think I'll atleast have to make you understand how one feels when madly in love!" Suresh paused as he blurted out the words in his defence.
Bondita didn't speak. Instead she hung her head low immersed in some deep thoughts. She took a deep breath before speaking again.
"What Kshitija did was wrong. But I'll see what I can do."
"I know what she did was wrong. But even God gives us once chance to redemption. All I'm asking from you is that one chance Bondita."
Bondita smiled faintly as she nodded her head again.
"My respect for you is more than my displeasure towards the Sinhas... I'll see what I can do."
She turned around, walking towards Mira's room as Suresh stood still in his place, wondering about the fate of the woman he loved so dearly.
................................................
"Mira... Look who is here.."
Anirudh was seated beside the small bed. He spoke softly as Bondita entered the modest hospital chamber where Mira lay. Mira had clasped Anirudh's right hand tightly with her fragile grip, as if to hold on to her dear life. Her weak body was shivering as Anirudh placed his left hand on her forehead, caressing her hair lovingly. Her eyes were closed as she murmured something incessantly.
Bondita's heart wrenched at the sight. She came closer as the words became clearer to her.
"Don't leave me... Please don't leave me... Please..."
It was like a chant... It was like an earnest plea, emerging out from Mira's soul.
"I won't leave you Mira... I promise."
Anirudh lowered his mouth to her ears as he spoke the words with a tone of gentle assurance.
"Open your eyes Mira... See who is here... your Bondita didi."
It was probably the name or perhaps Anirudh's soothing voice that made Mira finally open her eyes. She looked at him with her urging eyes before burying her face in his arms.
"I'm Bondita and she is Mira." She murmured again.
Anirudh turned his glance towards Bondita as a deep sigh escaped from his lips.
"You want to..." He asked her the half eater question as she promptly nodded her head.
Anirudh gently removed Mira's hand from his and got up from the chair.
"I don't think we can leave her here in this condition." He hushed softly before stepping out of the room.
Bondita inched closed to Mira's petite frame. Her protruded belly seemed to be bulged even more making it the focal point of her body. Her eyes were closed.
"Mira... Everything is alright... I'm here now." Bondita brushed her fingers through her hair lovingly.
"I'm Bondita and you are Mira!" Mira murmured again in a state of delirium.
"Mira... Open your eyes and look at me. Please Mira... Open your eyes once." Bondita urged her again as her voice quivered with a touch of pain.
"If not for me, but think about your child."
But Mira didn't react. Neither did she reply to her earnest urges.
Bondita sighed deeply as a nurse entered the room with a tray of medicine in her steady hands.
"I'll dose her with an injection. She needs to sleep!" The nurse remarked.
........................................
Trilochan was very tired from the sudden overnight train journey. He dined and left early for bed as Anirudh and Bondita sat on their terrace garden, reminiscing about the past two days and life in general.
"Do you think Ghanashyam Kaka has found the letter by now?" Bondita asked as she rested her chin on Anirudh's shoulder.
"I'm sure he has!"
"So who do you think might have paid those goons?"
"I seriously have no idea Bondita... How did we end up making enemies here, away from home!" Anirudh was thoughtful as he leaned his head to his side, resting himself against Bondita's.
"Bhairav had mentioned some 'mistress', you remember?" Bondita asked him reflectivity.
"Hm... That too!" Anirudh paused. "But why isn't my mistress sleeping yet?"
"Because she is waiting for her man to take her inside their bedroom." Bondita's face flushed as she hushed the answer to him.
"But, what if the man says that his mistress should be sleeping alone for somedays!"
Anirudh raised his head and turned towards Bondita, as his eyes waited for an answer from her.
"Another exile?" Bondita looked down.
"Last time it was because I was too young for you... So what's the excuse now?"
Anirudh stood up from the lavish cane weaved recliner as he kneeled down infront of Bondita.
"Shona... It's not an excuse. I want to be with you more than you want to be with me... Trust me." He raised his hand to turn her face towards him gently.
"But, what I did to you in that hut... It's... Bondita... I never had imagined I would hurt you like this!" Anirudh's voice quivered as he confessed his emotions to her.
"But... Don't you think it's meant to be like this? Why are you upset about loving me Barrister Babu?"
"I was supposed to love you Bondita... Not hurt you the way I did!"
Bondita leaned forward, as her lips pecked on Anirudh's sharp nose.
"And... What if I say I loved it... What if I tell you that I want you to hurt me more!"
Her gaze was intensified on his as he suddenly felt his heartbeat pounding irregularly.
"I too have hurt you... Haven't I?"
Bondita slowly undid the first three buttons of his nightshirt as she pulled down the collar gently, revealing her nail marks on his body.
"This is different Bondita... But I have..."
"How is this different Barrister Babu?" Bondita interrupted him in mid-sentence. "You and I loved each other that night, and we both bore our love marks... So how is this any different?"
Anirudh couldn't reply. He got up from the ground and walked a few steps away from her, leaning his back against the terrace railing. His voice choked as he uttered his next words slowly.
"I made you bleed Bondita!"
Apart from the occasional hooting of a distant owl, the duo stood in silence.
Bondita sighed deeply as she finally started to inch towards Anirudh.
"So you wanted me to be a virgin forever?" Her hands wrapped Anirudh's body as she asked him the question gently.
"Not that... I didn't say..." He released himself from Bondita's arms and walked towards the stairs instead.
"See... How conflicted you sound right now!" Bondita ran towards him as she held his hand in a firm grip.
"And why are you running away from me? Don't you dare!"
She widened her large eyes expressing her sharp displeasure towards Anirudh's action.
Anirudh realised his irrationality as he looked at Bondita with apologetic eyes.
"Sorry... Let me make it up to you."
With one sweep movement, he bent down and cradled Bondita up in his arms.
"What are you doing... Let me down!" Bondita wiggled in his arms.
"I didn't marry you to let you down."
Anirudh remarked as he carried her into her room, placing her gently on her soft bed.
His bent his body forward, as his lips touched her lower lip embracing her into a soft passionate kiss. His hands cupped her face tenderly as his tongue started to perform it's love dance in her mouth.
Bondita too, moved her hands around his body. She touched his shoulders, down to his spine as her hands moved further south on his torso.
Anirudh broke the kiss abruptly.
"Stop... Stop... Don't do this." He exclaimed, hopping a few steps away from her.
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to unleash my inner beast on you Bondita..."
"But... I want you...." Bondita urged as her eyes wailed up at his rejection.
Anirudh inched closer to her and sat on her bed, facing her direction.
He raised his hand and kept it on her thighs where he had left his mark last time, and kneaded her softness with a little pressure.
Bondita closed her eyes as a sharp pain spread across her lower body. But she didn't flinch her face.
"I know this is hurting you... and if I love you now, I'll end up hurting you more. Please Bondita... Don't make me do this."
Bondita took a deep breath as she nodded her head to him in agreement.
"Alright... So let's just sleep together."
She suggested as she pulled herself back on the bed, arranging their pillows together.
Anirudh stood still.
"I won't be able to resist you if I .... I don't trust myself anymore! "
He looked down as Bondita glared her eyes on him.
"You dare not go out of this room Barrister Babu!"
She lay down on the bed noisily turning her back towards him.
Anirudh stood there for a few seconds, contemplating his next course of actions.
He sighed sharply as he slowly walked towards the door. He latched it before pulling a large cushion from the couch.
He placed the cushion on the floor as he crashed his tired body into it.
"Take this!" Bondita threw a soft pillow from the bed before turning back once again.
"Married life!" Anirudh murmured as a faint smile curved into his lips. He closed his eyes slowly as his exhausted mind drifted him off to the land of dreams.
'A floorbed is better than an angry wife!' he thought before slipping slowly into oblivion.
............................................
It was not yet dawn, as Anirudh's tried to turn his side in his sleep. But his movements were restricted by something soft. He opened his half asleep eyes as he saw a pair of soft arms snaking around his chest. It was his wife!
He smiled in his sleep as he wrapped her back in his arms.
Bondita! His lips murmured as the duo lay asleep on the hard floor in blissful marital contentment.
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